by Blythe Reid
“Can I have a word with you?” The Principal asked.
I nodded, sitting down again.
“Beth is a very special girl,” she said. “Are you very involved with her?”
I hesitated before I nodded. I didn’t know if my relationship with her counted as ‘very involved’. But she’d called me. To me, that counted for something.
“It’s important to me that Beth has a woman figure in her life to lean on,” the Principal said. “I know that she grew up without a mother, and in her teenage years she’s going to need someone to look up to, to turn to.”
That was a lot of pressure. To meet someone’s daughter because I wanted to have a fling with him was one thing, but being someone that said daughter could look up to, turn to, see as a mother figure of sorts, was a whole different story.
“Beth is definitely a wonderful child,” I said. “I have no experience being a mother, but I’m more than willing to be there for her when she needs someone to lean on when she needs a friend.”
I hoped that was enough. The Principal nodded, smiling. “That’s all we can try to do,” she said. “Even when we are mothers ourselves.”
We smiled at each other, and an understanding passed between us. I didn’t know exactly where my relationship – or whatever it would be with the allegations at the university– with Alec would go, but I would be there for Beth, even if it were just as a friend no matter what. I knew what it meant to need someone and if Beth needed someone like me who was I to say no? Maybe I was taking on a bigger responsibility than I knew what to do with, she wasn’t my problem after all, but I felt very flattered that she had thought of me in a time of need. I wanted to be the kind of person she could rely on, long-term.
12
Alec
I couldn’t believe what was happening. It was so easy to fall for someone, to do something without thinking of the consequences. Suddenly, my career at UCLA was a big question. My future as a professor was unsure. I had no idea if I would retire with a pension. I tried not to work myself up too much, but it was hard to keep calm when I knew that they were investigating me for an affair with the students.
It had only been one woman, one kiss. How could this have gotten blown out of proportion so much?
I hadn’t spoken to Isobel since we had the conversation about the allegation. She was distant from me when I had my classes. She sat in the corner, minding her own business, reading textbooks for her own degree instead of the class that she was supposed to be assisting me with. I didn’t blame her. I was just as worried as she was.
I wasn’t sure what scared me more; losing Isobel or losing my career.
The investigation was still pending. Harry Nicholson had called Terence into his office and gotten a written statement from him. Isobel and I had to meet with Nicholson in the few days after to talk about our side of the story and if it couldn’t resolve the issue then and there, it would go to a disciplinary hearing. Something like that would ruin me.
I didn’t want to lie to the Dean for the sake of my career and deny that anything had happened in front of her, not in a way that she would think that what we had wasn’t important. It was very important to me. At the same time, I didn’t want to lose all the years that I had worked as a professor at the college, building up a reputation.
I had no idea what to do. That I didn’t have Isobel to talk to about all of this made it that much harder.
After my classes, I went to a bar close to town. I had called Liam and told him what was happening, and he had offered to meet with me. Having someone to talk to about this really helped and as far as I knew, he had been in a similar situation. Whatever the case was with his love life, he had a daughter, so he understood what it meant for me to lose my career.
When I saw Liam, I held up my hand, greeting him. He looked great, as always. He had aged a couple of years – make that eighteen – since we had been in the military together, but he was confident as ever.
“Thanks for meeting with me, man,” I said when we walked into the bar. We sat at a small table in the back, after ordering beers.
“Anytime,” Liam said. “What’s going on?”
I explained to him what happened, what Isobel and I were doing and how a student had caught us. When I was done talking, Liam raised eyebrows at me, sipping his beer. I did the same.
“Can I ask you something?” Liam asked.
I nodded.
“How do you feel about her?”
“I told you, we’ve been fucking.”
Liam shook his head. “Fucking each other has nothing to do with feelings,” he said. “I want to know how you feel about this woman.”
I took a deep breath, ready to say no when I stopped myself. How did I feel about Isobel? How would I feel if she walked away now? I couldn’t say that I didn’t feel anything about her at all. In fact, I felt quite a bit.
“Okay, maybe I’m into her.”
Liam grinned. “That’s good enough for me,” he said. “Do you know who she used to work for?”
I blinked at Liam. Isobel had told me that she used to work in a bike’s parts store, I didn’t think I had to know him.
“It’s Spencer Daughtry,” Liam said.
I frowned. “Spencer? As in Spence, the kid from the platoon?”
Liam laughed and nodded.
“My God,” I said. I couldn’t believe it. Spencer Daughtry had served in the military along with me and Liam. He had been just a kid back then, a high school dropout that had wanted to join the Army to get away from home. I couldn’t imagine that Spencer and Isobel knew each other.
“Damn, small world,” I said.
Liam nodded.
“Why are you telling me this?” I asked.
Liam shrugged. “I just thought you needed to know who you are dealing with.”
“What, do you think he’ll knock me off if I break her heart or something?” I asked.
Liam laughed. “Always so defensive, Alec. That’s not what I’m saying at all. What I’m saying is that you have got a good woman, don’t let her go for something as stupid as an allegation. You can always make it happen, but losing a woman like that, a woman that you love, it’s a whole different kind of loss.”
I nodded. I knew all about losing someone and having to work through the pain. When I’d lost Liz… I couldn’t even think about going through that again. I didn’t know how I had survived in the first place. And Beth was old enough to know Isobel now, too. I didn’t think she would be as hurt as I would be, though, I wasn’t sure she even liked Isobel. Still, introducing people into her life just to have them ripped away again wasn’t fair.
Liam took another swig of his beer, and we sat in silence for a while, drinking.
“So, what are you going to do?” Liam asked
I shook my head. “I have no idea. I need some time to think about it; a lot is at stake.”
Liam nodded. He had a daughter. He had lost a wife. He had a career. He knew exactly what was at stake and what I was going through, even if he hadn’t experienced losing his career himself. There was a lot for me to think about and I had no idea where to start.
13
Isobel
By Saturday, I was pretty sure everything was over between us. I hadn’t heard from Alec since the allegations on Thursday. He hadn’t tried to call me, avoided me during class, made it clear that whatever we had had, it wasn’t worth all of this.
I guess I couldn’t have blamed him. I was the one that had seduced him, made my intentions clear to him. He was the one that had turned it into more. Now, I was the one that felt like I had lost so much. I was confused, brokenhearted.
Brandi and I were out on the town. She had told me to shower, get dressed so that she could take me out. She knew that I was hurting. I hadn’t told her nearly as much about our relationship as she would have liked to know, but she knew that my heart was broken and that I needed a distraction.
What was worse than my own pain was what I had done to Ale
c. I felt like I had fucked up his career, his life. He had a daughter to think of, and now I had left them without a salary. What if they let him go? I was young enough to still bounce back from something like this. If this went to a disciplinary hearing, they would vote in my favor; I would be the victim. In reality, it was Alec that had been a victim. I felt like shit about it. Guilt threatened to consume me.
Brandi and I sat at the bar, and I ordered one cocktail after the other. I wanted to drown myself in alcohol, get so drunk that I couldn’t remember the pain.
“Slow down, Izzy,” Brandi said, concerned.
“Why? I’m a student. Aren’t I supposed to be able to do stupid things?” Even I could hear how bitter that sounded. “Maybe I should just drop out.”
Brandi shook her head. “Come on, shit happens, Izzy. You can’t give up like this. You still have class next week; you still have to make a future for yourself.”
“And what about Alec? What about Beth? Didn’t I just take their futures away?”
Brandi sighed, exasperated. “I wish you would tell me everything that had happened,” she said. “I know that you had been caught kissing him in the corridor, but why is this hurting you so much? How much more did you do?”
“Everything,” I said. “I gave him everything. And then I took everything from him.” I realized I sounded terrible, melodramatic. I was already so drunk. Not too drunk to feel, so I needed more. I lifted my hand to wave over the bartender, but Brandi pushed my arm down again.
“Take it easy, Izzy,” she pleaded. “This is not the end of the world. You’re really drunk, don’t say anything now, don’t make any decisions that you may regret later.”
I chuckled without expression. “Too late,” I said and downed the last bit of my drink.
I knew I couldn’t carry on feeling sorry for myself like this. Brandi was right, of course. She usually was. We weren’t only best friends because we shared an apartment. She looked at life differently than I did, she was full of wisdom. This time, though, I didn’t feel like any kind of wisdom that she had to share on the topic would change things. This was all my fault, I had gotten myself into this mess, and I didn’t know how to get myself out again. I had to fix this for Alec, if not for myself. I just didn’t know how.
My phone pinged. I fished for it in my bag, found it, and read the text that had just come through. It was from Alec, asking me to come over.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Brandi said. “You’re really drunk. I’m scared you’ll do something you’ll regret.”
“Again, too late,” I said. I looked for my purse and flipped through it looking for cash. I found the bills and tried to concentrate on how much I had to pay for my alcohol. After I struggled a while, Brandi took the purse from me and helped me out. What were best friends for?
“If you’re going to insist on going, take a cab, at least.” Brandi had given up trying to get me to be responsible. “I don’t want you driving in this state.”
I nodded. “Thank you, Brandi, you’re a great friend.” I got off the barstool, balancing on unstable legs. I walked to the door, with Brandi guiding me to a cab. I gave the driver the address, and Brandi made sure that I was ready to go before the cab pulled off.
The motion of the car made me feel sick, but in no time, I was in front of Alec’s place. I got out and walked to his front door, focusing on not tripping over the bricks. He opened it for me before I knocked, expecting me.
“Are you drunk?” He asked when he saw me.
There was no reason to deny it. I nodded.
He sighed. “I’m sorry it’s gone this far,” he said. “We should have spoken sooner.”
I walked with him to the living room and sat down on the couch. I was more comfortable now that I wasn’t on my feet, my balance less questionable.
“Why did you ask me to come over?” I asked. Now that I was drunk, all my inhibitions were lowered. All I could think about was how I felt about him, how I wanted to fuck him. Of course, that was out of the question now.
“Because I wanted to know something.” He took my hand in both of his, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb. “I will get fired for you,” he said.
I blinked at him. “What?”
“What I’m trying to say,” he said, “is that if it comes down to it, I would rather lose my job than lose you.”
I turned over his words in my mind. Could I really let something like this happen? Could I let a father lose his income when he had a daughter to take care of? Of course not.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t want that. I was thinking, I’ll do school online.”
Alex frowned at me. I narrowed my eyes, trying to focus on his features. If I didn’t concentrate, I saw double.
“You can’t do that,” he said. “The reason you came to Los Angeles was so that you could study at UCLA, go to class. You told me so yourself. I won’t let you give that up, now.”
“Well, that’s not up to you,” I said. I sounded a little bit like the defiant teenager, a little bit like Beth. The idea was funny, and I giggled.
Alec pressed my knuckles to his lips, kissing my hand. “You don’t understand, Isobel. I’m not going to let you do this. I won’t take education from you.”
“You’re not taking my education from me,” I said. “If you get fired, you don’t have a career anymore. But if I study online, I’m still getting an education, just not in the same place as your work.” I was impressed by myself. I was making a lot of sense for the amount of alcohol I had consumed. “I want to continue this relationship.”
There it was, put into words. I didn’t think I would have done that if I was sober.
“God, Isobel,” Alex said. “Why do you have to be so spectacular?”
He didn’t give me a chance to think about an answer. He leaned forward quicker than I could follow, pressing his lips against mine. The kiss was wet and needy, drawing me in. After three days of thinking that we were over, this was exactly what I needed. I kissed him back, throwing my arms around his neck, pressing my body against his. I wanted to drink him in, consume what he gave me. I didn’t know how long this would last, how much of this I would get, I wanted to take as much as I could right now.
Alec guided me backward so that I lay down on the couch. He crawled onto me, pushing my legs open with his. He held himself up enough so that he didn’t crush me, his body pressed against mine. His skin was scalding hot through his shirt, my shirt. I was consumed by need. I needed him inside of me. I wanted to give myself to him completely. Until now, that’s what I thought I had done when he had taken my virginity. I realized now that there was so much more to this. I felt so much more. When I had set out to fuck my professor, I had never imagined something like this would happen.
I had never imagined I would fall for the man that had fueled my fantasies.
14
Alec
Isobel wanted to be with me. She was willing to make sacrifices to make it happen. Not only was I incredibly flattered by it, but also incredibly turned on. My cock was hard in my pants, throbbing with need. I wanted to put it inside of her. I wanted to claim her as mine again and again.
We made out on the couch, her body soft and malleable beneath me. I knew she was drunk, but I was under no illusion about her ability to make decisions. It was possible that now was the first time she was completely honest with me about her feelings. And I was starting to be honest with myself about mine. I wasn’t sure I could tell her, yet, but until I was ready to I could show her how I felt with my body.
I clambered off her, grabbed her hand and pulled her up. Her balance was terrible, and she fell again. She was adorable, so dependent. I loved it. I grabbed her face and kissed her again. She melted against me, sighing into my mouth. I wrap my arms around her body, putting my hand on her ass. I picked her up, and she helped me, wrapping her legs around my hips. I carried her to the bedroom.
When I set her down, she smiled. “I have a toy I want to
show you,” I said
She looked surprised. “So early into this and we’re already doing toys?”
I shook my head. “It’s not exactly that kind of toy,” I said, turning to my closet. I had bought it the other day, and I was eager to try it. I returned with the box of the sex swing. I watched Isobel’s face as she looked at it, taking it in.
“I don’t even know what that is,” she said.
I chuckled. Her naivety was so cute. Everything about her inexperience turned me on. Maybe that was I why had been so turned on about her being a virgin.
“I’ll show you,” I said, setting it up. It was a rather large contraption, a four-legged frame with straps hanging down the middle. One strap was to support her body, one strap was to support hips, and there were two steps for her feet. I kissed her again, undressing her. Stripping her of her clothes was one of my favorite things to do. I got rid of my own clothes, too. When we were both naked, I stepped back and took in her body.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing you like this,” I said. Isobel blushed, and it was a beautiful sight.
I helped her into the straps, having one strap go around her back, one supporting her ass and I helped get her feet into the stirrups. I stepped back to study my handiwork. She hung in the swing, helpless, her legs spread so that she was on display for me.
“Holy fuck,” I said, running my hand over my body. I touched my dick. I was rock hard, ready to take her right now. She was so fucking hot.
Isobel looked at me, a little unsure but I could see the lust on her face. She was turned on by this, by me taking charge. I noticed the other night that she enjoyed me dominating her.
I stepped between her legs, pushing my fingers into her slit. She was so wet for me, turned on by this new contraption. That made two of us. She gasped when I touched her, my fingers run over her clit, pushing into her. I fingered her for as long as I was able before I lost control. I removed my hand and replaced it with my cock. When I pushed into her, she moaned. She was suspended, completely at my mercy.
