by Blythe Reid
“I went to your grandmother’s house,” he continued. “I was out driving around, and I just sort of ended up there. It was like I was drawn to it. She and I ended up talking for a long time. We talked about everything. About you and me. About my feelings for you.”
“You said you didn’t have feelings for me,” I reminded him.
“I lied,” he said. “I was lying.”
“I don’t believe you,” I said, but my voice was softer.
I didn’t believe him yet, but I wanted to. I couldn’t help it. Just hearing his voice softened my resolve. I still cared about him.
“I don’t blame you,” he said. “I wouldn’t believe me either, but it’s the truth. I got scared, Scarlet.”
“Scared of what?” I asked.
“Of us,” he said. “Of you. You came into my life and completely changed everything, Scarlet. I never knew I could care about someone so much until I met you. It scared the shit out of me. And then, Adam told me not to hurt you. He warned me that you weren’t my usual type of girl that you were looking for something real. I realized he was right. You wanted a commitment, and I didn’t know if I could give that to you. I didn’t know if I should even try.”
“Then why are you here now?” I demanded.
“Because Adam was wrong,” he said. “And so was I. Before you, I wasn’t the kind of guy to commit. I wasn’t a boyfriend, but now, Scarlet, you’ve changed me. I fell in love with you, and you changed me. I’m not the same person anymore. I’m better. You made me better.”
“What did you say?” I breathed.
My entire body felt weak as I registered his words. I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard.
“I love you,” he said with a soft laugh. “I love you, Scarlet. I’m in love with you. I think I have been for a long time, but I was too scared and immature to admit it. I couldn’t bring myself to man up enough to really be with you. That was a mistake. I screwed up. I know that. But I want to fix it.”
My heart felt like it was on fire as I listened to Lucien’s words. Part of me wanted to turn around and run. I wanted to sink into the ground beneath my feet and never have to deal with this situation ever again. Lucien was everything I’d always wanted, but that was before he hurt me. He took my virginity, made me fall for him, and then left me. How was I supposed to trust him now?
I shook my head slowly, not sure what to say. I was afraid to move too much, terrified that I might make yet another mistake. Ever since I moved to New York, I felt like that was all I did. I made one mistake after another until finally, I came back home. What if forgiving Lucien was just another mistake?
“I’m scared to trust you again,” I said, my voice cracking. “You broke my heart, Lucien.”
“I know,” he said quickly. “And I can’t tell you how sorry I am, but I love you. God, I love you so much. Please, please believe that.”
“I do,” I said softly. “I believe you.”
Lucien’s sighed with relief and hurried forward. He pulled me against him and I melted. I rested my head on his chest and let him hold me while my pain faded away. Being back in his arms was all I needed. Everything suddenly made sense again.
When he kissed me, his lips were soft and careful. He was afraid to move too quickly and scare me away. I kissed him back, letting myself forgive him slowly. That one kiss wouldn’t fix everything, but it was a start. It was our start.
“I love you, too,” I said when we pulled away.
His smile was breathtaking.
“Are you two ready to go?” Grandmother asked from behind us.
I hadn’t realized she’d come back from the bathroom.
“Yes,” I said with an embarrassed laugh. “We’re ready.”
Thanksgiving dinner was delicious. My mom pulled out all the stops, making every American dish she could think of. Even though we’d lived in France for many years, it was still in her roots to celebrate the American holiday. Usually, it was just the two of us. I couldn’t remember the last time Grandmother joined us. It felt nice to have her and Lucien both there, celebrating alongside us.
Mom and Lucien cleaned up together, insisting that Grandmother and I rest. It was a shock to me because my mom always made me do chores. She was beginning to soften her rules where I was concerned, and I was grateful. Seeing me get my heart broken was enough for her to let up a little bit. She was still worried and concerned all the time, but she was also more understanding and kind than ever before.
I watched as the two of them did the dishes together. Mom was asking Lucien questions, and he answered them enthusiastically. I could tell how much they enjoyed getting to know each other. Mom seemed to really like Lucien, much to her surprise. She expected to hate him, but she couldn’t. Lucien was too charming. He wooed her just as easily as he wooed me. From the look on her face, she was extremely grateful to have him around. She talked his ear off the entire night.
While they spent time together, Grandmother and I caught up. It was such a short amount of time, but I hated being away from her. She told me all about Lucien’s visit and how she knew she could trust him.
At first, she wasn’t sure. She knew too much about the Delta Pi fraternity, and now, I understood. She was afraid that Lucien was just like the rest of them, but he wasn’t. He managed to prove himself to her, and she agreed to help him. She brought him to France so he could apologize to me in person.
“Here,” she said after we finished talking. “I brought you something.”
She reached beneath her chair and pulled out her purse. After rummaging inside it for a few seconds, she pulled out my old copy of Flames of Sorrow. It was the same copy I threw away in her house before I left. I stared at it in shock as I took it from her fingers. Running my hand over the cover, I smiled to myself. I never thought I would see this book again. I’d thrown it away out of spite and anger. I was hurt.
“I found it in the trash,” Grandmother said.
I nodded. “Yeah, I threw it out after Lucien ended things. I thought Mom was right, that love really didn’t exist.”
Grandmother reached over and took my hand. She glanced at Lucien who was still visiting with my mother and smiled to herself.
“True love does exist,” she said to me. “Even though it can hurt and break us, that doesn’t mean it isn’t real. The real thing sucks sometimes, Scarlet, but you can’t run from it. You can’t hide yourself away. That’s not how life works. You have to believe in love and in yourself. That’s the only way you’ll be happy.”
I hugged her quickly and then looked back down at my book. I’d forgotten all about it since I left New York. Somehow, I didn’t feel like I needed it anymore. I would hold onto it now, as a reminder of my grandmother’s advice, but I knew I wouldn’t read it again. I no longer needed to live vicariously through the couple in the book. Love finally existed in my reality, and I never wanted to run from it again. I never wanted to hide. I wanted to hold onto it with vigor and see where it would take me.
29
Lucien
This was the biggest fundraiser in Delta Pi history and my first great act as President. It was my desire to spend my remaining time turning Delta Pi around and improving our reputation.
I couldn’t stand the fact that so many people saw us as playboy jackasses. It was a reputation we’d earned fairly, but one I was determined to rectify. This fundraiser was just the beginning. We were raising money for the Battered Women’s Shelter in New York. To me, it was the perfect way to make up for decades of Virgin parties.
Our reputation wouldn’t be fixed with just one fundraiser, but it was a start. We took a vote on it the day I returned from France. Most of the brothers were confused by my sudden change of heart, but they got on board quickly. The fundraiser vote passed easily, and we began planning immediately. It wasn’t long before everything was in place and the night was underway. So far, we’d made over ten thousand dollars, and the evening was just beginning. I felt confident we would make well over our goal befo
re the event ended.
As I looked around the room, I smiled to myself. Things were turning themselves around. I felt proud of myself and of the fraternity. In time, people would begin to see us as philanthropists instead of womanizers. I knew we had generations to make up for, but all that mattered was that we tried.
I was thrilled when the fundraiser vote went through, but my second idea didn’t go over as well. Upon my return from France, I suggested we end the Virgin parties once and for all. I explained that they were holding us back from being a truly great fraternity. A few guys, like Adam, were instantly on board, but most were concerned. The Virgin Party was our oldest and strongest tradition. Not many brothers wanted to do away with it.
The vote hadn’t taken place yet, but I hoped it would soon. If I could end that one tradition before stepping down at the end of the year, I would consider my term as Delta Pi President a true success.
The fundraiser was in full swing. I made my rounds, mingling with all the important people in attendance. I made sure the brothers were doing their part to keep things happy and upbeat. Despite the fact that we were raising money for battered women, we wanted the evening to be a positive one. Our theme was hope, and we intended to fill as many hearts with it as we could.
“Looks like tonight is a success,” Adam said as I took a break from mingling. I stood off to the side of the room and observed.
“Hope so,” I said nervously. “We’ve never had an event like this before. I don’t know if we can pull it off.”
“We can,” Adam said with confidence. “Campus has been craving something like this for too long. Greek life here is a joke, and it’s time someone changed it. I’m glad it’s us.”
“Me too,” I said. “Do you think the brothers will get on board with disbanding the party? I’ve been worried about that a lot.”
“Don’t stress,” Adam advised. “All you can do is try, man. If the vote doesn’t pass, it doesn’t pass. At least there’s resistance now. Eventually, Delta will vote to get rid of it. If it’s not this year or next year, it’ll be soon. So many of the brothers are already antsy about it. It doesn’t feel right anymore, and they all know it. They’ll do the right thing.”
“I can’t say I share your confidence,” I said. “Not that long ago, I was one of them, remember? No one could have changed my mind.”
“But you did,” he pointed out. “If you, Lucien Wolfe, can change, then anyone can.”
“It’s all because of Scarlet,” I said laughing softly. “She changed me.”
It was true. I never would have moved forward with plans to change the fraternity if it hadn’t been for her. One night, in France, we stayed up talking into the night, and I told her all about my concerns. I admitted how ashamed I was of the Virgin Party and how much I wanted to get rid of it. She reminded me that, as President, I held some power over the brothers. She encouraged me to use it and even came up with the idea for the fundraiser.
She said she believed Delta Pi could fix its reputation if we just tried. I knew she was right, but that didn’t make the idea any less scary. Change is never easy, and when it comes to a fraternity as old as Delta, sometimes change felt utterly impossible.
“I’m glad you found her,” Adam said. “Scarlet’s good for you.”
“I know,” I said, grinning. “She’s amazing. You know, this whole thing was her idea. She told me not to say anything because she wanted me to take the credit, but it was all her. She thought of it and even came up with ways for me to do it. She’s brilliant.”
Adam laughed. “I can see that. Besides, we all knew she planned this. No one thought you were smart enough to pull this off.”
“Shut up,” I joked. “I was smart enough to win the presidency over you.”
“I didn’t want it,” Adam reminded me. “If I had, you wouldn’t have stood a chance.”
“Keep dreaming,” I laughed.
Adam pointed to the other side of the room, drawing my attention away from our conversation. Scarlet was standing in the entryway, wearing a stunning red dress that reached down to her toes. I was so damn glad she was back and that she had reenrolled in NYU. When she moved, it swirled around her ankles. She looked like a dream. I’d never seen a more beautiful woman in my entire life. My eyes were glued to her as she made her way across the room to join Adam and me.
“Hi boys,” she said nervously. She glanced around at the full room. “I’m sorry I’m late.”
“Don’t be,” I said, pulling her to me for a quick kiss. “You haven’t missed much.”
“Just Lucien bragging about you,” Adam said. “Which he does all the time. So that’s nothing new.”
Scarlet laughed. “I’m sure that’s not true.”
“Oh, please,” Adam said. “He literally never shuts up about you. It’s kind of annoying, to tell you the truth.”
“Shut up,” I said. I rolled my eyes and offered Scarlet my arm. “Let’s make the rounds.”
We left Adam to his own devices and circled through the room. I introduced Scarlet to everyone we passed, more than ready to show her off. When the event was finally planned, I found myself more excited about having Scarlet for my date than for the actual event. I knew I should feel guilty about that, but I didn’t.
She was gorgeous and brilliant. Anyone would have been lucky to be with her. I felt like a prince at a royal ball, parading his princess around for the whole world to see. It was the best honor I’d ever been given and it made the night that much more special.
After we finished making the rounds, we found a table to sit at. Scarlet’s feet were tired, and I needed a break from all the schmoozing. I checked the tally and saw that we’d already raised over twenty-five thousand dollars. I was in shock. No fraternity on campus had ever raised that much money in a single night. We would be in the papers for sure. I smiled as I realized our reputation was already improving. A few more events like this, and we would be the most well-liked frat on campus.
“What are you smiling about over there?” Scarlet asked, leaning into me.
“I’m just proud,” I said. “This event is going well, don’t you think?”
“Are you kidding?” Scarlet scoffed. “It’s amazing! You guys have raised so much money, I honestly can’t believe it.”
“It was all your idea,” I reminded her. “We couldn’t have done it without you.”
“All I did was make a few suggestions,” Scarlet said. “You did everything. You organized and planned the event. This was all you, Lucien. I can’t take credit for any of it.”
“You can,” he said. “No matter what I did, I did it all for you. You changed me, Scarlet. I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it, I’m a new man because of you.”
She blushed deeply and placed a kiss on my lips. The kiss was soft and gentle, but it stirred something deep inside me. I felt myself harden, and I knew I needed to get a grip. This wasn’t the place to get excited, but I couldn’t help it. Scarlet looked sexy in that dress. I couldn’t tear my eyes from her body.
“I can’t wait for this thing to end,” I muttered. “So I can get you out of that dress.”
“Oh?” she asked playfully. “What makes you think I’m going home with you tonight?”
“Did you have other plans?” I asked with raised eyebrows. “Another date later perhaps?”
“Well, now that you mention it,” she said with a mischievous grin.
“That’s not funny,” I said, kissing her again. “You’re mine, Miss Scarlet. All mine.”
“I can live with that,” she said.
In that moment, the entire fundraiser melted away. I looked in Scarlet’s emerald eyes, and I lost all sense of time and space. I didn’t care that we were in a room full of people or that I was the host of this event. I didn’t care that our designated speaker was going on any minute now. Nothing mattered except the way Scarlet was looking at me.
I loved her so much, and I never wanted to lose her ever again. That little bit of time wit
hout her had been torturous. She was only gone for a short time, but I felt like I lost half of myself. I couldn’t be whole without Scarlet.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you, too,” she said. We kissed again just as the speaker stepped on stage. Pulling ourselves together, we turned our attention to the stage and fell silent.
The speaker was a woman who had been helped by the Battered Women’s Shelter many years ago. She was a survivor who went on to better her life and help other women like herself. She truly was an inspiration. Scarlet was moved to tears by her speech, and I grew emotional myself.
As I looked around the room, I saw that many people were crying as well. Even some of the Delta brothers were wiping their eyes discreetly. I knew this event was a great idea. We weren’t just helping the fraternity, but we were helping people who really needed it.
After the speech was over, even more donations flooded in. We ended the night with over forty thousand dollars. No one could believe it. As the Delta brothers lined up to say goodnight to our guests, we thanked everyone profusely for their generosity. The fundraiser officially ended, and everyone went out to celebrate.
“You guys coming?” Adam asked as he was about to leave. “We’re all going down to Duke’s.”
Duke’s was a bar I loved, but I wasn’t in the mood for it tonight. All I wanted to do was get Scarlet home and in bed. She’d been teasing me all night with her sexy body and unfairly arousing dress.
“Not this time,” I said. “I’m exhausted.”
“Uh huh,” Adam said with a grin. “I’m sure you are. You two have fun.”
“We will,” I said.
With that, I took Scarlet’s hand, and we left the fundraiser hall together. The weather was chilly that night, so I wrapped my suit coat around Scarlet’s shoulders and held her while we walked through the city. We didn’t talk the entire way home. We didn’t need to. After everything, just being together was enough.
