“Stop being an optimist.” She turned up the radio, refusing to smile.
Ryder turned it back down. They were on the long drive that led to the Coopers’. A dozen or more trucks and trailers were parked in a gravel area to the south of the arena and people milled around, leading horses or standing in groups talking.
“I’m going to be an optimist, Andie.” Ryder slowed the truck and parked. “I’m going to be the person you count on. I might not pull it off without a hitch, but I’m going to do my best.”
“Okay, we’ll try this out.” She reached for the truck door. “But don’t get creepy on me. I want to know that some things haven’t changed.”
But she knew better. They both knew better.
When they got out of the truck, he met her at the back of the trailer and she could tell that he had more to say. He held onto the latch of the trailer gate, looking inside at their horses.
“Listen, Andie, we’ve been through a lot together.” He pulled up on the latch. “We went through the mess of my pretty dysfunctional family and you stood by me. We were kids, spitting on our hands and shaking, making a deal to forget about church because of what happened.”
“It was wrong.”
“I know, but it happened and my dad was the reason it happened. I’ve been thinking a lot about faith, and church. I’ve been thinking that maybe we should hang tight, stick this out together.”
“This, you mean the pregnancy?”
He turned red. “Yeah, the pregnancy.”
“You can barely say it.”
“I can say it. And I can tell you that on Sunday I’ll be picking you up for church.”
“I’m holding you to that. But why now?”
“Because I’m not going to be my dad. This kid isn’t going to have to worry about what his parents are doing or how messed up his family is.”
“It could be a girl.”
“I’m okay with a girl.”
“That’s good, because I think it is a girl.” Andie couldn’t look at Ryder, not when they were talking about their baby, their future. But they weren’t discussing marriage because he didn’t love her and she wouldn’t marry someone who didn’t love her.
What if someday he really fell in love with someone, someone he wanted to marry? What then? Or what if she fell in love? She met his gaze, those dark eyes that she knew so well, eyes she had looked into a thousand times before.
What if she lost him as a friend? She had protected that friendship for years. How did she protect it now, when they were facing the biggest challenge of their lives?
“We should go.” He opened the gate and she backed up. “Andie, I mean it. I know my track record is pretty shaky, but I’m in this for the long haul.”
Lights came on around the arena and someone whooped out a warning for them to hurry.
“I know you are,” she whispered.
Or at least she wanted to hope. But she couldn’t dwell on that. This moment, facing friends, people they’d known their whole lives, was going to take all the courage she could muster.
For a brief second his fingers touched hers, grasping them lightly and then letting go. She tried not to think about high school, about how everything had been a new experience and holding hands had been more about belonging to someone and less about really being in love.
And belonging was okay.
He stepped into the trailer and backed her horse out. She took the lead rope and moved out of his way as he backed his horse out.
“Is it too late to change our minds?” She glanced up at him and he smiled.
“I think this is pretty permanent.”
“I don’t mean about the baby, you goof. I mean about this, about facing people, facing questions.”
“I think it’s too late. We’re okay, Andie.”
That was easy for him to say. She’d never felt less okay in her life. But he was getting their horses out of the trailer and if she was going to live her life in Dawson, she would have to deal with looks and whispers.
Ryder tightened the girth strap on his saddle and the big roan gelding that he’d brought with him twitched and stomped his back hooves. The roan was new and Ryder couldn’t even get used to the horse’s name. Half the time he couldn’t remember it. But the name Red worked and the horse didn’t seem to care.
“I’m going to tie Dusty and head over to the arena.” Andie smiled but he didn’t think the look met up with her eyes the way it should.
But he didn’t question her. He wasn’t going to start doing that. He was the baby’s dad, not Andie’s keeper. He was having a hard time keeping those two things separate.
“Okay. They’re going to put out the barrels later. After steer wrestling and team roping.”
“I know, but I’m not sure if I’ll ride him tonight. These are younger riders with younger horses. I’ll just give pointers if they want, but…”
“Not be a show-off.”
She smiled, this time it looked like the real thing. “Yeah, something like that.”
Someone yelled his name. “Gotta run.”
She nodded and he almost didn’t go. But he had to ride away, to keep this moment normal. He grabbed the saddle horn and swung into the saddle, nearly reaching for her hand and pulling her up with him once he was in the saddle. Instead he held tight to the reins and backed away.
But she hadn’t moved. He nudged the red roan forward, close to her and she looked up, questions in her eyes. He didn’t have a single answer for her. Instead he leaned and touched her cheek.
“I won’t let you down.”
She nodded and he rode off, leaving her there alone.
When he got to the arena Reese Cooper motioned him forward.
“You gonna rope with Clay tonight?”
Ryder nodded. “If he needs a partner, I’m the guy.”
“He thought so.” Reese Cooper was one of the middle Cooper kids. And there were a few of them. Ryder had lost track but he thought there were more than a dozen kids in the Cooper clan. Some were biological, some adopted and a few were foster kids that stayed.
Clay was adopted from Russia years ago. Five years ago he hit about sixteen and every girl in Dawson went crazy over him.
Reese had always been the center of attention.
Ryder wasn’t bothered by the fact that the ladies loved the Cooper clan. It meant he could live his life without too many problems from the ladies of Dawson. It did kind of bother him that Andie had dated Reese.
“You gonna ride a bull tonight?” Clay walked up, sandy blond hair and gray eyes. His chaps were bright pink, because Clay didn’t care what anyone thought of pink.
“I’ve thought about it.” Ryder settled into the saddle of the roan gelding, holding him steady because the horse hadn’t adjusted yet. Obviously the animal had led a quiet life up to this point. Tonight was a real test for him, what with lights, noise and a few rangy bulls bellowing from the pens to the side of the arena.
“Come on, then, we’ve got bulls ready.” Clay spoke with an accent. Ryder tried not to smile because he hadn’t figured out if the accent was real, or just something he used as a gimmick. It just seemed that when the kid had been ten or twelve, the accent hadn’t been so thick.
Ryder glanced around the arena, finally spotting Andie. She was sitting on the row of risers with Jenna Cameron and the twins. And Jenna’s new baby. Funny, thinking about Jenna married to Adam MacKenzie, retired pro football player, and owner of Camp Hope. Adam and Clint, now brothers-in-law, must have brought the bulls over.
That meant they’d be over by the pens on the opposite side of the arena.
“I’ll ride a bull.” Ryder backed his horse away from the two Coopers. “I’m going to say hello to Clint and Adam. And when you’re ready to rope, let me know.”
He rode around the back side of the arena, passing a few friends who waved but didn’t stop him for a conversation. They looked at him, though, as if they knew. It wouldn’t be long before everyone knew.
&n
bsp; Clint and Adam were moving the bulls through the pens and into the chutes. Clint waved and then closed a gate between two pens.
“Ryder, good to see you here.” Adam MacKenzie walked toward him. “I’ve been meaning to tell you how much I appreciated the help with fences at Camp Hope.”
“It was no big deal.”
“Seriously, though, it meant a lot to us.” Adam pulled a cola out of a cooler and tossed it his way.
“I didn’t mind at all. The camp is a great thing for the kids, and for this community. Gives Dawson something to talk about besides…”
Besides him, for a change.
“How was your season?” Clint had joined them. A few years back the two had ridden to events together. Until Willow showed up in town. And Jenna’s boys. The two, Clint and Willow, had fallen in love while taking care of Jenna’s boys.
Now that Ryder thought about it, all of their lives had been taking some pretty serious direction changes. These guys didn’t seem the worse for wear.
Of course for the last couple of years, Ryder had done a lot of teasing. His friends had all fallen, and they’d all changed their ways. They were family men, now. They went to church and took care of their wives and kids.
He hadn’t really envied them.
And now they were staring at him, waiting for him to answer Clint’s question.
“Good, really good. Brute turned into a great gelding. I don’t know if I told you, but I bought his daddy last week. I needed a good stud horse on the place.”
“That sounds like a career choice,” Adam interjected with a smile.
“Yeah, maybe.” He glanced toward the bleachers. He knew where Andie was sitting, even if he couldn’t see her clearly from where he was.
“How’s Wyatt?” Clint changed the subject and Ryder met his gaze, saw his smile shift. “I saw him drive through town the other day.”
Ryder shrugged, and he didn’t sit down. “Wyatt’s as good as he can be. It’s been a long year for him. I don’t know how a guy gets over that.”
Gets over finding his wife dead and their two little girls in the playpen, crying. How did Ryder convince his brother there were good days ahead? How did he tell Wyatt to have faith, when Ryder had been ignoring God for as long as he could remember?
“Yeah, it won’t be easy. But he’s got a whole community behind him here.” Clint reached for Red’s reins. “Want me to hold him while you get your bull rope ready?”
“I guess if I’m going to ride a bull, I’d better get ready. You riding?”
Clint laughed. “No, I don’t think so. We’ve got one little girl and Willow found this little boy in Texas. He’s three and hearing impaired.”
Ryder nodded because he didn’t know what to say. He dismounted and handed Red over to Clint. “You and Willow are pretty amazing.”
“Willow’s amazing.” Clint had hold of the roan and the horse was flighty, more flighty than Ryder liked from a roping horse.
“Ryder, up in two.”
Ryder took the bull rope that Adam tossed at him. “Might want to borrow rosin from one of the other guys.”
“Got it.” Ryder pulled a glove out of his pocket. At least he’d remembered that. As he walked up to the chutes, he didn’t look at Andie. Instead he took the Kevlar vest that Clay Cooper offered.
“It’s one of Willow’s bulls. Think you can handle him?” Clay asked with a grin that didn’t do much to impress Ryder. Someone needed to take that guy out back and knock some of that vinegar out of him.
“I think I can handle him.” Ryder pulled on the vest.
The bull that came through the chute was a big brindled bull with too much Brahma in its DNA. He didn’t like to ride Brahma bulls. Not because they were meaner, bucked harder or went after a guy. He didn’t like the hump. It knocked him off balance, made it hard for him to stay up on the bull rope.
As he settled onto the bull’s back, Clay snickered, like he’d meant to put Ryder on the worst bull in the pen. He worked rosin into the bull rope and then Clay pulled it, tight, so Ryder could wrap it around his gloved hand.
The bull hunched in the shoot and then went up, front legs off the ground, pawing at the front of the chute. Ryder grabbed the side of the chute and pulled himself up, out of danger. The bull went back down on all fours. They started the bull rope process again.
As soon as Ryder had the rope around his hand and the bull was halfway sane in the chute, he nodded and the gate opened. The bull spun out of the chute, nearly falling and then righting himself. Ryder fell forward but got himself back into position when the bull bucked into his hand. Foam and slobber flew from the bull’s head. The force of four hooves hitting the ground jarred his teeth.
He kept forward, his head tucked. The bull jerked him to the side and his body flung off the side of the bull, his hand still in the rope. A few jumps, a few hops and then the buzzer. He jerked his hand loose and rolled.
A bullfighter, another Cooper brother, jumped in front of the bull, giving Ryder a chance to run for his life. That Brahma bull didn’t play nice. It was stomping, trying to get his feet, get his legs as he scurried to get away.
As he jumped over the fence, Andie was there. Pale, shaking and pretty darned mad. He’d never seen her like that before. He considered going back in the arena with the bull.
He dropped down on her side of the fence and walked away, dragging the bull rope behind him. She followed. He couldn’t do this here with everyone watching, wondering what was going on between them.
When he got to the back of the arena, to a spot where they could talk, he waited.
Andie walked up to him, her blond hair short and blowing in the soft, Oklahoma breeze. The air was dry, but still warm and the sun was starting to set. He didn’t know why, but suddenly when he looked at her, he saw someone he hadn’t seen before. He saw a woman with soft edges and a look in her eyes that could have sent him running if he hadn’t known her better.
They’d gone places together, all of their lives they’d been together. Tonight felt different. Tonight they were one of the couples. He shifted a little and her mouth opened, like she was going to say something, and he was afraid to hear it.
His back hurt and his shoulder throbbed. He didn’t need lectures.
“Don’t.” He shook his head a little and her mouth closed. And he’d hurt her. He hadn’t meant to do that. “Not yet, Andie.”
Not yet with a rush of female emotions and words, not from Andie. She’d drown him in that stuff and he wouldn’t know how to make it work, not with a ton of emotions and hormones hitting him over the head.
He couldn’t think like that.
“Fine.” She walked away, slim and athletic, but always graceful. He remembered her in a leotard, forced to take ballet because Etta worried that she was too much of a tomboy. She’d hated it, but he remembered going to her one and only recital. She punched him in the gut that day, because he told her she looked pretty.
He watched her walk away. Gut punched. Sometimes she didn’t even have to touch him. And every now and then, like right at that moment, he wanted to kiss her again. Even if it landed him on the ground.
Maybe later. He let the idea settle in his mind, even imagined holding her close on Etta’s front porch.
“Hey, Andie, come back.”
She stopped walking, but she didn’t turn to face him. “You said not right now.”
“I didn’t mean for you to walk away. I meant for you to give me a chance to take a deep breath.”
She turned, the wind catching her hair. She held it back with her hand and waited for him to walk up to her.
“I didn’t know you were going to ride a bull tonight.” She bit down on her bottom lip and looked away from him.
Her dad. He wanted to swear but he didn’t. She’d seen her dad broken up a few too many times. She’d always disliked it when he rode bulls, said it brought back too many memories that she’d rather forget.
“I didn’t plan on it, but Clay…”
She wiped his face. “Dirt on your cheek.”
“Right.” He wiped it again, in case she didn’t get it all. And because it was a lot less disturbing when he did it.
“Ryder, would you mind if we went home. I really don’t feel like I can do this tonight.”
“Yeah, we can go home. Stay here while I get my horse.”
Andie waited for Ryder. When he came toward her on the big roan gelding, she smiled. He rode up close and reached for her hand. She looked up, and he winked. Like old times, she thought. And she needed some old times. She took his hand and he moved his foot, giving her access to the stirrup.
He pulled and she settled behind him, her arms around his waist. The horse sidestepped a few times and then trotted a bumpy trot toward the trailer. Andie didn’t mind the trot, not when this was the most normal thing that had happened to her in days.
As they rode past the arena and down the drive toward the trailer, Ryder slowed the horse to a walk. Andie leaned, resting her cheek against his back, against the soft cotton of his shirt. She breathed in deep of his scent and then she felt silly, because it was Ryder.
The horse came to a stop at the trailer, but neither of them moved. Andie didn’t want to move, to break the connection between them. Ryder glanced back but he didn’t say anything. But his hands touched her hands that were clasped around his middle.
“You okay?”
“I’m good. This is just the most familiar place I’ve been in a while. You know, riding like this with you. Remember when we used to take your old gelding out at night for long rides.”
“Yeah, I remember.” His back vibrated with the depth of his voice.
“Those were good times.”
“They were. And they aren’t behind us, Andie. We’re going to have a kid. We can teach him to ride a horse, and to rope a steer.”
“Her.”
“Right, her.” He laughed and she sighed, but then she moved.
The Cowboy's Sweetheart Page 9
