by Patricia Kay
Because he was dreaming of her. The other night he’d relived the first time they’d met and the first time they’d made love. It had been so real he was unable to shake the feeling that his subconscious was trying to tell him something.
No.
He couldn’t go there.
He had to forget about her.
There were plenty of other sexy, beautiful and intelligent women out there. He did not have to get entangled with someone who would only cause him grief. He could do this. He could forget about Sophie. It was mind over matter, just as everything was.
Decision made.
He would shove sexy Sophie out of his mind.
Permanently.
* * *
Sophie was so busy with her job and worrying about Joy that she didn’t have a lot of time to think about anything else, but even so, after that dream she’d had, when she wasn’t on guard, thoughts of Dillon managed to creep into her mind. It didn’t help that she seemed to see him at least once a day. Or that the other single women who worked at the school seemed to talk about him constantly.
Even Beth, who should know better, brought up his name fairly regularly. That morning was a perfect example.
Ran into D. at Packers, she texted.
Sophie was on her way to school, so she didn’t answer until she’d parked in the parking lot. Why R U telling me this?
U care. U know U do.
Go bother somebody else.
OK. But U know U want to know what he said.
I do not!
Liar!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By then, Sophie had reached her classroom, so she turned the sound off her cell, slipped it into her purse and told herself she had no interest in what Dillon and Beth had talked about.
But the whole subject had nagged at her all morning. And now here it was, afternoon, and she was on her way home, and it was still nagging at her. Had they talked about her? She would kill Beth if she’d said anything.
She thought about how Beth had somehow managed to drag out of her how she’d felt when they were dancing the night of homecoming.
“You still care about him, don’t you?”
Sophie wanted to say no, but she couldn’t seem to get the word out.
“I knew it. I just knew it.”
“What do you mean, you knew it?” After those first few months when she was so devastated by his leaving, Sophie had never talked about Dillon. Not once. She pretended to everyone that she’d always expected him to go and it didn’t bother her at all. And she’d done a good job of it. After all, she had her pride. Especially since she’d known the situation was hopeless and that Dillon was never coming back. Yes, she’d covered her tracks well. So no way Beth knew anything.
“Because I know you well enough to know when you’re avoiding a subject, Sophie.”
“It’s true I don’t want to talk about him. He’s an old subject, Beth. I’ve moved on.”
But Beth hadn’t seemed convinced, and obviously from her text earlier, she still wasn’t.
Sophie sighed. She had to stop thinking about Dillon. If she didn’t, Beth was going to continue to hound her, because she seemed to have a sixth sense where Sophie and Dillon were concerned. And what had those two talked about yesterday?
She was still lecturing herself on the subject as she arrived home and walked in the front door. But all thoughts of Beth and Dillon and what they might or might not have said about her disappeared from her mind the moment she saw Joy, who was sitting on the couch in the living room and staring into space. Every inch of her body looked forlorn. And when she turned her head at Sophie’s entrance, Sophie saw that Joy’s eyes were puffy and red from crying.
Sophie’s heart practically stopped. Ohmigod. What had happened? She started to form the words, but before she could get even one word out, Joy jumped up and practically flew into Sophie’s arms. Fresh tears soaked Sophie’s white blouse and Sophie could feel her sister’s body trembling.
“Joy, honey, what’s wrong?”
“I—I—I... Oh, Sophie!” Joy wailed.
“What? Joy, you’re scaring me.” Sophie wanted to cry herself. What was it? What had happened? Had someone died?
But Joy just kept crying and Sophie knew she’d have to first calm her sister before she could get the girl to talk. So she patted her back and repeated that no matter what it was, everything would be okay. Finally, after what seemed like an hour or more, but was probably only about ten minutes, Joy’s sobs quieted and she drew a deep, shuddering breath and extricated herself from Sophie’s arms.
“Better?” Sophie said, leading Joy back to the couch and sitting beside her. She kept hold of Joy’s hand and added softly, “Tell me.”
Joy took another deep breath and her eyes—her beautiful blue eyes met Sophie’s. “I—I’m pregnant.”
Those two words struck Sophie like an arrow through the heart. They were the last two words she would ever have imagined coming from Joy’s mouth. And yet, as their eyes continued to stay locked together, as the words sank in, as quiet seconds passed with only the sound of someone’s lawn mower going in the distance, Sophie realized that this news wasn’t really the shock she’d first thought it would be.
Hadn’t she always had this secret fear?
She’d had this same fear for herself years ago, but she’d been lucky.
Oh, Joy.
“What am I going to do?” Joy whispered. “I—I’m so sorry, Sophie.”
Sophie took a deep breath of her own. She had known similar situations quite a few times in her years at the high school. Anger would do no good...for anyone...at least not for anyone in this room.
“How do you know you’re pregnant? Have you seen a doctor?” She frowned, glancing at Joy’s belly. “You don’t look a bit different.” But was that true? Now that she really looked, Sophie could see that Joy did look as if she’d gained a little weight, but not so much that it was noticeable. “How far along are you? Do you know?”
“I—I haven’t seen a doctor, but I did three of those tests. You know, the ones you pee on? And they all turned positive.”
Sophie wanted to cry. So many thoughts tumbled through her mind. A baby. How in the world could Joy have a baby? She was only sixteen! And yet what was the alternative? Sophie knew that Joy would never want to have an abortion. The truth was, Sophie couldn’t bear the thought herself.
“Does...does Aidan know? I’m assuming Aidan is the father?”
Joy looked stricken at the question. “Of course he’s the father. I’ve never been with anyone else.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I just...I’m having a hard time processing this.”
Joy ducked her head. “I know.”
Sophie sighed. She put her arm around Joy’s shoulders, felt the trembling. “Let’s go out to the kitchen. There’s some iced tea in the fridge. Let’s be comfortable and...talk about this.”
Once they were seated across the table from each other, glasses of iced tea in front of them, Joy said, “You asked if Aidan knows. No. I haven’t told him yet. I—I just figured it out today. And I was so upset I couldn’t even think of talking to him.”
Sophie nodded. “When you do, what do you think he’ll say?”
Joy shook her head. “I don’t know. He...he’ll be upset. I mean, why wouldn’t he be? He’s planning to go to college next year. Ohio State.” Joy met Sophie’s eyes. “All he’s talked about is going back to Ohio and starting college where his parents both went to school.”
Left unsaid but obviously something Joy was thinking about, just as Sophie was, was the fact that before meeting Aidan, all Joy could talk about was going to a school like the Rhode Island School of Design or the Art Institute of Chicago. It hurt Sophie to even think that Joy might not be able to go to any school. She was so talen
ted and had such a bright future ahead of her. Oh God, this was such a mess.
Sophie drank some of her tea to give herself more time to think. Finally she said, “You know, a pregnancy doesn’t have to mean the end of the world. We can figure something out.”
Joy grimaced. “Like what? Pretty soon I’m going to be as big as a house and everyone’s going to know. Oh God. I wish I was dead.”
“Honey, don’t say that. Don’t ever say that.”
“Well, I do!” Joy’s eyes filled with tears again. “I might as well be. Aidan will hate me when he finds out. And everyone will be talking about me, and the boys will all be snickering and saying things.”
“Aidan doesn’t have any right to hate you,” Sophie said. “You didn’t do this on your own, you know.” Now she was mad. Dammit. Dillon had said he’d talk to his nephew, and it was obvious he hadn’t. Well, she’d have a few choice words...for both of them.
“You...you don’t think we should get married, do you?” Joy said.
“Good grief, no! You don’t want to get married, do you?”
Joy shook her head, dejection written all over her. “I—I do love him, but...I—I don’t know. I want to go to school, and...and we’re too young to get married, aren’t we? He wouldn’t want to anyway.”
Sophie knew, just by the pain in Joy’s eyes, that she wasn’t certain about Aidan’s feelings for her. The poor kid. Sophie felt like crying herself. But she knew it was time to put on her big-girl panties and counsel Joy the way she would counsel any young woman in this predicament. “Look, if I were counseling someone else in your shoes, my advice would be to decide how she wanted to proceed before she told the boy in question. So don’t worry about what Aidan will think or want. Decide what you think and you want.”
“I want this not to have happened,” Joy said.
“Yes, I know, but it has happened.”
“Maybe I could go away somewhere?” Joy said hopefully. “Have the baby and give it up for adoption?”
“That’s definitely an option.”
“But what would we say? I mean, people would ask questions, and then they’d know, wouldn’t they?”
“Maybe not.” But Sophie knew Joy was probably right. What story could they possibly tell that would convince anyone about anything? She couldn’t help thinking about Kaitlyn Lowe, the senior Sophie had counseled last month. Kaitlyn’s parents had said Kaitlyn was going to spend the remainder of the year with her grandparents in New Jersey because her grandmother was failing and Kaitlyn was her only granddaughter, but tongues had wagged. Crandall Lake was a small town. People generally knew everything there was to know in small towns. And no one had swallowed that story.
For long moments, the sisters sat thinking about what they’d just discussed; then Joy heaved a sigh. “I know two things. I don’t want to have the baby and raise it myself. And I don’t want to have an abortion. So I think the best thing is giving it up for adoption.”
Sophie nodded slowly. That did seem like the best option.
“I guess I should call Aidan, then,” Joy said. “Talk to him.”
“Go ahead. Go for a drive somewhere. See what he has to say. Then tomorrow we’ll decide where we go from here.”
And in the meantime, she thought, while Joy and Aidan were off somewhere talking, she would go over to Dillon’s house and do some talking of her own.
* * *
Dillon looked shocked when he saw her on his doorstep.
“Hey, Sophie.” He frowned when he saw the expression on her face. “Something wrong?”
“You could say that.”
“What is it?”
“We need to talk.”
“Okay. C’mon in.” He stood aside as she entered the house. “Let’s go into the den. Can I get you something to drink?”
“No, thanks. I don’t plan to stay long.” Ignoring his gesture to follow him into the den, she added, “What I have to say can be said in a few words. Your nephew, Aidan, has gotten my sister, Joy, pregnant.”
Dillon stared at her. “Say what?”
“You heard me.”
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph.”
“They aren’t going to help you.”
He continued to stare at her. “Are you sure?”
“What? That Joy is pregnant? Or that Aidan is the father? I’m sure of both, and I’m also sure that your nephew was irresponsible and took advantage of Joy, who, as you know, is a good bit younger and a lot less experienced than I’m sure he is. So don’t even think about encouraging him to weasel out of this, or trying to talk Joy into getting an abortion, because neither she nor I am willing to even entertain the idea.”
He held his hands up as if to ward off a blow. “Hey, hey, slow down.”
But Sophie was just getting started. “Joy wants to go away and have the baby and give it up for adoption, and as far as I’m concerned, if we can figure out how to do this, you and he can just plan on paying her expenses for everything involved.”
“Jeez, Sophie, give a guy a break, will ya?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, quit making assumptions and quit accusing me of things I hadn’t even thought of saying.”
“Oh, don’t go giving me that innocent act, Dillon. I’m sure your nephew knows the kind of life you’ve led the past ten years or so. You’ve set a certain example and he’s just following in your footsteps.” She glared at him. “Tell me. How many babies have you left behind?”
His eyes were like daggers. “You don’t think much of me, do you?”
“If the shoe fits...”
Now he looked as if he’d like to shake her. In fact, the expression on his face frightened her enough that she backed up.
For a long moment, he just looked at her.
Sophie tried to stay angry, because she knew once she let go of the anger and allowed herself to really think about the dilemma Joy was in, she might give in to the temptation to throw herself into his arms. She bit her lip. She could feel tears threatening. Suddenly the whole thing seemed overwhelming, and she had a much better understanding of the ways the parents of the girls she’d counseled in the past had felt. Why? Why had this happened? Her eyes met Dillon’s, and she swallowed.
“Ah, Sophie,” he said softly, reaching for her. “I’m sorry.”
At that moment, Sophie knew she was lost. And when he drew her into his arms, she didn’t even try to resist. Melting against him, she raised her face and gave herself up to the comfort of his kiss.
But the kiss that started as something soft and sweet quickly became more and more demanding, filled with a hunger that quickly raged out of control. Sophie’s heart thundered, her head spun, every sense came alive as if it had been hibernating for years and only waiting for this moment and this man and everything he had always made her feel. As Dillon’s tongue delved and his hands roamed, heating every inch they touched, Sophie moaned. Every cell in her body wanted more, had to have more. When he swept her up and into his arms, still kissing her, she didn’t protest. She didn’t even think of stopping him.
“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice raspy, his eyes glazed with desire as they studied her face.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes.”
Moments later, in his first-floor bedroom with the door shut, they lay tangled on his bed. Soon kissing and touching through their clothes wasn’t enough, and they frantically began undressing each other.
Sophie’s breath caught at the sight of him. Was there anything as glorious to look at as a gorgeous, naked man—a man you’ve always loved—even if you’ve been unable to admit it until now?
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured as he stroked her skin, then kissed his way down her body. “So beautiful.”
Sophie arched her back, giving herself up to the sensati
ons and emotions pummeling her. She grasped his hair in both fists as his mouth tasted and found her sweet spot, barely breathing as an almost unbearable tension built, pushing her higher and higher until she exploded in wave after wave of exquisite pleasure that shuddered through her and left her shaking and weak.
But not so weak she didn’t want more. Reaching for him, she found him hard and hot and ready. Now it was his turn to groan as she guided him inside. She gasped as she felt him fill her, his heat causing that delicious tension to build again, rising to a crescendo as he thrust again and again until he erupted. Tightening her legs around him, she held him close as he shook and gasped. Her own body felt on fire, as if it were lit from within, as if she was in the only place in the world she had ever belonged.
They lay together, their hearts slowing, their bodies cooling, for a long time. Finally he stirred, lifting his head and looking down at her.
“Are you sorry?” he whispered. His eyes were tender as they studied her.
“No.” But she would be tomorrow. She probably would be five minutes from now, when she’d had time to reflect on just exactly what she’d done.
“I’m not, either.” He rolled off her, pulling her close against him. He brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her softly, his lips lingering against hers. “I’ve wanted you from the moment I saw you in the hallway at school that day.”
Sophie swallowed. She’d wanted him, too. “We never could stay away from each other,” she said wryly.
“So, what do we do now?”
“About what? Us? Or the kids?”
He smiled crookedly. “Both.”
“Well,” she said, sighing, “right now I don’t know. I do know Joy is too young to be a mother, and she knows it, too. And I’m sure you feel the same way about Aidan.”
“Frankly, I can’t imagine him with a kid. Hell, he can barely handle his life as it is, let alone adding a kid to the mix.”
Sophie sighed again. “Joy’s with him now.”
“Telling him?”
“Yes.”
