by Patricia Kay
“Oh, shut up.”
“My, we’re in a good mood, aren’t we?”
“What do you want, Dillon? I’m tired. I was planning to eat my soup—which is cold now, by the way—then head on to bed.”
“It’s only six-thirty.”
“What’s your point?”
“Only old ladies go to bed at six-thirty.”
“I don’t feel well.”
He frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I just have a headache, that’s all. And I’m tired.”
“I’m sorry.”
He sounded as if he really was sorry. Sophie relented a bit. “So, what is it you want? I really do want to go to bed early tonight.”
“I just came over to tell you I put Aidan on a plane today.”
Sophie nodded. She’d known he was going.
“And then I stayed in Fort Worth for a while and did some shopping.” Now his smile seemed shy. Shy? Dillon Burke, shy? “I bought you something.”
Sophie arched her eyebrows. “Why?”
“Why? Because I wanted to. Because I’m sorry we haven’t been getting along well lately and I want that to change.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, wrapped box.
For a moment, Sophie couldn’t breathe. But then she realized the box was too big to contain a ring, and her heart settled into its normal pace.
“I hope you like it,” he said, handing her the box.
Oh God, why did he have to have such gorgeous eyes? And why did she have to feel this way whenever he looked at her?
Slowly, she unwrapped the gift. She’d been right to think it was jewelry, she realized when she saw the velvet jeweler’s box. Opening the lid, she caught her breath at the breathtakingly beautiful pendant lying on the white satin interior. “I—I can’t accept this,” she managed to stammer.
“What? Why not?” He looked stunned.
“Because it’s...much too expensive.”
“Oh, c’mon, Sophie, it’s not. I saw it and I knew it was perfect for you. Of course you can accept it.”
She shook her head. “No, Dillon, I really can’t.”
“I’m not taking it back.”
“Well, I’m not keeping it.”
“Sophie, quit being so stubborn. There’s nothing wrong with me giving you a necklace. Come on, put it on.”
“No! I told you. I can’t accept this.” She pushed the box into his hands.
He stared at her, then slowly and deliberately set the box on the kitchen table. “I’m not taking it back.”
“Well, I’ll return it to the store, then, because I’m not keeping it.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Dillon, listen to me, okay? Just once, listen to me. I don’t think we should see each other again. And because I feel that way, I cannot and will not take this expensive gift from you. Now, I want you to leave. I told you I don’t feel well, and I really want to go to bed early.”
“You’re serious.”
“Yes.”
“I don’t get it. Why do you think it would be best if we don’t see each other anymore?”
“I really don’t have to give you an explanation, but since you asked politely, I will. We want different things out of life, Dillon. That’s been clear for a long time. So there’s no future for us. And frankly, I don’t want to waste my time on you. I want to be free to find someone who wants the same things I do. And if I’m seeing you, I never will.”
Once more, he just stared at her. Then, surprising her—she’d expected another argument—he reached for the box with the pendant, closed the lid and nodded. “Okay. If that’s how you feel.” He gave her a crooked smile. “See you around, Sophie.”
Two minutes later, he was gone.
* * *
Sophie went to San Antonio and spent Thanksgiving with Joy. She enjoyed the day despite her ongoing malaise, something she attributed to her dejection over both Joy’s and Dillon’s absence from her life.
She and Dillon had barely spoken in the week since she told him they were finished. She’d seen him at school a few times, and they’d said good morning or hello, but that was it.
During lunch one day, one of the teachers had mentioned seeing him with “a really attractive blonde” at Genaro’s the night before, and Sophie had been furious with herself for the way her heart had knocked against her chest and how upset she’d felt.
She had no reason to be upset. She’d given him his walking papers, so of course he would be dating. Dillon would never go very long without some woman hanging all over him.
Who had the blonde been?
Sophie ticked off the names of all the blondes she knew, especially the ones considered good-looking. She knew it hadn’t been Nicole Blanchard, because the teacher who had mentioned seeing him knew Nicole and would have said it was her.
Who was it?
But of course there was no way for Sophie to know, so she’d just have to forget about it.
But it nagged at her. He hadn’t lost any time, had he? Just proved what Sophie had known all along. She was nothing but available sex to him, because if she’d meant more he’d never have started dating someone else so quickly. In fact, he wouldn’t have given up so easily.
With this on her mind, it was hard for her to concentrate on Joy while she was in San Antonio, and Joy noticed her preoccupation.
“Is something wrong, Sophie?”
Sophie started. “Um, no, honey. Why do you ask?”
“You just seem...I don’t know. Like something’s on your mind.”
“Oh, I’ve just been tired lately. Maybe I need to see the doctor. I might be anemic or need vitamins or something.”
Joy frowned, and for the rest of their time together that weekend, Sophie tried to perk up, quit thinking about Dillon and not worry Joy. For the most part, she was successful.
As Sophie drove home that Sunday night, she was grateful for one thing: Joy seemed happy. She’d made friends at Hannah’s House and seemed to be looking forward to the future. She had only mentioned Aidan once, asking Sophie if he’d left for Ohio yet. When Sophie told her he had, she’d only said, “Good.”
The weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas break seemed to crawl by. Beth took her to dinner for her birthday, and Sophie did her Christmas shopping, but she couldn’t seem to get into the Christmas spirit or over her lethargy. Yet she put off calling her doctor’s office. Trouble was, she was pretty sure she knew what her problem was, and there wasn’t a pill in existence that was going to make her feel better. Only time would do that.
Two days before the school break would begin, Sophie was in her cubbyhole of an office, working on a report, when there was a knock at her closed door. “C’mon in,” she called, thinking it was Lucas Murphy, the editor of the school paper, who’d said he wanted to talk to her about an article he was writing.
But it wasn’t Lucas who walked in. It was Dillon.
Sophie’s heart thudded, but she managed to keep her voice and expression even. “Hello, Dillon.”
“Hey, Sophie.”
“How can I help you?”
“Just wanted to wish you a merry Christmas before I leave town.”
“You going to Ohio for the holidays?”
“I thought I would. You’re going to San Antonio, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Yeah, that’s what Beth said.”
Beth? When had he talked to Beth?
“How’s Joy doing?” he asked.
“Very well. She seems to really like it there.” Sophie considered telling him she was thinking about transferring to San Antonio herself next year, but then decided there was no point. What did she think he’d do? Beg her not to go?
“W
ell...” he said. “Have a good holiday.”
“You, too.”
Awkward seconds passed when neither could think of anything else to say. Then, just as she was ready to tell him she needed to get back to her report, he blurted out, “Sophie, I wish you’d change your mind.”
“About what?” But she knew.
“About us. I—I miss you.”
The ache in her heart—the one she’d been trying to ignore for weeks now—began to throb like a live thing. She wanted to say she missed him so much she’d been making herself sick, but she refused to give him that satisfaction. Because again, what was the point? Would her saying that change anything? Would it make him say he loved her and wanted to marry her? Of course it wouldn’t.
“Can’t we try again?” he said softly.
She couldn’t, wouldn’t, meet his eyes. “I don’t think so, Dillon.”
Again, there was a long moment of silence. Finally he sighed. “Yeah. I thought that’s what you’d say.”
Turning back to her computer screen, she said, “Goodbye, Dillon. Have fun in Ohio.”
She didn’t look at him as he walked out of the room.
* * *
Paige Bartlett, Dillon’s agent, wanted to meet with him while he was in Columbus. She had come to Crandall Lake right after Thanksgiving, and they’d talked about several possibilities while she was there, but none of them interested Dillon. It was then he’d told her that if she found something good in Ohio, preferably near Columbus, he’d seriously entertain the possibility of leaving Texas.
She’d gotten right on that suggestion. It always amused Dillon that at first glance, people didn’t take Paige seriously. She’d laughed that off, telling him it was actually an advantage that a lot of people—men, especially—thought her blond good looks meant she was a lightweight.
“I sneak up on them,” she joked.
He’d taken her to dinner at Genaro’s, never thinking that it would cause questions. He’d forgotten how curious people in small towns could be. He wondered if Sophie had heard about him and Paige and if she’d thought he’d already begun dating someone else. There was no way to know unless he asked her, and he’d be damned if he would. The most he was prepared to do was try to get her to change her mind about him, and that hadn’t worked out well.
It bugged him that he couldn’t seem to put Sophie out of his mind. Always before, when a relationship fizzled, he simply moved on.
But that’s not quite true, is it? When you left Sophie all those years ago, you thought about her for a long, long time.
Yeah, but he’d been younger then. Way less experienced. And he’d imagined himself in love.
You were in love.
Maybe. Maybe not. He’d certainly gotten over it. Hell, he hadn’t been mooning over Sophie.
You seem to be mooning over her now.
Dillon swore. He was sick of thinking about her. He certainly had no intention of chasing her. After all, he had his pride. If she didn’t want him, he didn’t want her.
She never said she didn’t want you. She wants something from you that you aren’t prepared to give.
Yeah, well, that wasn’t going to change.
And on that final thought, Dillon boarded his plane to Columbus and vowed to put Sophie out of his mind.
Chapter Ten
As she packed for her trip to San Antonio, Sophie decided if she didn’t feel better once the Christmas holidays were over, she would definitely see her doctor when she got back.
On Christmas Eve, she and Joy were attending the service at the chapel on the grounds of Hannah’s House, and Sophie had brought a black velvet skirt and long-sleeved white lace top to wear. As she pulled the lace top on, she realized it seemed a bit snug across the chest.
Why? she wondered, frowning. She hadn’t gained any weight. In fact, the opposite had happened, since she’d been feeling nauseated more often lately. That was odd.
She felt her breasts. Were they bigger?
Her hands stilled. Her breasts were definitely more tender. Her heart thudded. Oh, my God. Was it possible? She stared at herself in the mirror. Two bright spots of color stained her cheeks, and her eyes looked dazed.
Suddenly dizzy, Sophie sank onto the side of the bed. Grateful the nuns had had a private room she could use for her stay, which enabled her to compose herself before meeting Joy, Sophie tried to get her scattered thoughts together.
All the symptoms she’d had recently: the nausea, the lethargy, the ongoing tiredness—finally made some sort of sense.
Pregnant.
She, too, must be pregnant.
She had to be.
There was no other answer.
Taking out her phone, she looked at her calendar. She studied it, then closed her eyes. A month ago. She should have begun her period a month ago. How had she not noticed?
You were too busy worrying about Joy and crying over Dillon. That’s why.
Knowing she had to pull herself together—Joy was already waiting—she finally got up, finished buttoning her blouse and put on some makeup. After combing her hair and finding her black cashmere shawl, she went in search of Joy.
“You look nice.” Joy smiled.
“And you look gorgeous,” Sophie said. That wasn’t an exaggeration. Joy wore a beautiful red wool dress with an empire waist. Her hair was brushed back and held in place with a black velvet ribbon and she wore sparkly black flats. In her arms were several gaily wrapped gifts.
“I need to put them under the tree before we go,” Joy said.
Sophie smiled. She’d put her own gifts under the tree in the common room earlier.
All through the beautiful, candlelight service, Sophie’s heart frantically pounded in her chest. What she would do if what she believed to be true turned out to be a certainty, she didn’t know.
Two babies?
Could she raise two babies by herself?
Or would Joy’s baby have to be put up for adoption after all?
Finally the service was over and the sisters walked back to the main house and the gathering that was planned. When they entered the common room, they saw there were already a number of the girls and their guests waiting. A large table covered by a beautiful gold cloth was laden with food, and the tree held dozens of packages beneath it. Soft Christmas music was playing, and everyone was in a festive mood.
Although her mind continued to churn, and she didn’t feel hungry, Sophie managed to eat some ham and deviled eggs. She even managed to drink some of the eggnog. She hoped she wouldn’t be sorry later. After they’d all finished eating, Sister Monica began to hand out the gifts. Joy ended up with half a dozen in her pile and even Sophie had three. There were lots of exclamations and happy laughter as the girls and their guests opened their presents.
Sophie had bought Joy a new phone with a much better camera—something she’d wanted for a while—as well as a pair of soft leather boots she’d coveted and, as a bonus, she’d also given her a really nice watch.
“Oh, Sophie, thank you!” Joy said. Her eyes were alight with happiness.
Sophie’s gifts consisted of a jar of her favorite moisturizer, a pair of delicate gold bangle bracelets, and the newest Maggie O’Farrell novel. “And thank you,” she said. “I love all my presents.”
“When I saw those bracelets, I knew I had to get them,” Joy said.
“They’re wonderful.”
After some carol singing, the party began to break up. Sophie was relieved because she wasn’t sure how much longer she would have been able to keep up the pretense of being happy. Not with this possible pregnancy hanging over her head.
Later, as she prepared for bed, she knew she wasn’t going to be able to wait until she got home before confirming her suspicions. Somehow she would find a way to get
to a pharmacy without having to take Joy along.
The perfect opportunity presented itself in the morning the day after Christmas. Joy said she hadn’t slept well the night before and asked Sophie if she’d mind if she took a nap. “I mean, I know you’re leaving tomorrow, and I’d hoped we could hit the post-Christmas sales today.”
“We’ll go later. You have your nap first.”
The moment Joy was out of sight, Sophie headed for her car. She found a Walgreens two blocks away from the house. Fifteen minutes later, two pregnancy tests safely stowed in her shoulder bag, she drove back. Closeting herself in her bathroom, she locked the door and administered the tests.
The first one tested positive.
So did the second.
Even though she’d been pretty sure of what the outcome would be, it was still a shock to see her suspicions confirmed. How could this have happened? How could she have allowed herself to become pregnant? It just begged disbelief.
Two babies!
She did some quick calculations. The pregnancy must have happened the first time she and Dillon had had sex. The night she’d confronted him about Joy’s pregnancy. Which meant she had gotten pregnant at the end of October. Almost two months ago.
Doing a quick calculation, she figured her baby would be due in late July. Joy’s baby would be born in April and would only be three and a half months old when Sophie had her baby.
Dear God.
Sophie put the used pregnancy testing kits in the Walgreens bag and stowed them in an inside pocket of her suitcase. No way she was going to leave the proof of her folly in the bathroom wastebasket. Then she sat on the side of the bed and thought long and hard.
She had a fairly hefty savings account. In addition to the one he’d left her mother, her father had taken out a large life insurance policy in Sophie’s name. She’d used quite a bit of it for her college education, but the rest had accumulated interest and grown over the years. And she’d saved from her salary over the past seven years.
Could she afford to take a year off work? Stay home and raise two babies? Wait to go back to work until the following year?
If she was very careful and stuck to a budget, she could do it.
