It was hers, but it was driving her crazy.
Maybe I should just go wandering the streets.
The thought gave her a shiver. She knew Alex spent time on those same streets, but she’d found more trouble last night than she’d bargained for. It would be a long time before she would feel comfortable being out on deserted streets in the night again.
That’s why she’d ordered pizza in tonight. It was way more expensive than she could normally afford, but after she’d forgotten to pick up groceries in her rush to get home before sunset, she didn’t dare leave the apartment to go shopping or pick up food.
What are the odds Alex is a pizza delivery boy?
The thought finally made her stop pacing. She laughed at herself.
You’re fucking crazy, Zara. When have you ever been this spun up over a guy? It’s silly. It’s silly, and it’s dangerous.
No man can be trusted. This kind of head over heels infatuation was exactly the kind of thing that got women in trouble.
A knock at the door startled her out of her thoughts. It took a second to remember that she had pizza coming. Someone must have let him in so he didn’t have to buzz up.
She snatched up the pile of coins she’d painstakingly counted out to make sure she had enough before she’d ordered.
Opening the door, she juggled the money, trying to keep the coins in order. “Hey, so I hope you don’t mind if the last couple of bucks are in nickels…”
She trailed off.
Alex stood at her door. He was dressed simply, and she suddenly couldn’t remember what he’d worn the night before. She didn’t think she’d even looked at his clothes the whole time. She’d been too enraptured by his face.
“I didn’t realize rescuing damsels in distress paid so poorly. Maybe I should have become a lawyer.”
She stared at him, unable to believe he was in front of her. A day spent fantasizing and daydreaming had elevated him to an unattainable pedestal miles above her. All of a sudden, he was back on Earth with her.
Say something, idiot!
“Alex! I mean, it’s Alex, right?” She kicked herself, wincing internally at her awkwardness.
He smiled. “Hi, Zara.” The voice was as velvety and flawless as she remembered. “I wanted to check up on you and make sure you haven’t come across any more ill fortune. You went through an ordeal last night and it sounded like you have no one to talk to about it.”
She gulped. She’d told him she had no friends last night, hadn’t she? What in the world had possessed her to say something like that?
“Yes, I’m good. At least, I feel okay. It’s still hard to believe last night happened.”
How could she even begin to address the things that were impossible?
Alex nodded, eyes soft. “It can be difficult, and sometimes it doesn’t hit you until some time later.”
She hung in the doorway, still clutching the pizza money. What should she say? He made her stomach flutter and her mind spin.
A loud grumble broke the silence, a plaintive gurgle that came from Alex’s midsection. His eyes widened, and he looked down.
Zara laughed, more at his expression than the sound itself. His injured look at her laughter cracked her up even more until she was doubled over and clutching at her own stomach. Tears came to her eyes as she looked up at him.
A rueful grin took its place on his face, and he dropped his hands to his hips as she struggled to get herself under control.
“Are you finished?” he asked. He didn’t look too annoyed at her, which was good because she hadn’t laughed like that since before her mother passed away.
Zara swallowed back another chuckle. She waited another moment to be sure of herself before she trusted her voice. “I think so. How long has it been since you last ate?”
Alex matched her grin. “You know what? It feels like it’s been forever.”
There was something behind his words that Zara couldn’t read, a twinkle in his eye as if he was enjoying a private joke.
After the disaster trying to invite Alex in the night before, Zara held her fingers crossed behind her back.
“I’ve got a pizza coming any minute now. Do you want to come in and share it with me?”
He’d been gentle but firm when rejecting her last night, but this time he looked relieved at her question. “That sounds delightful. I’d love to join you.”
Unable to believe her night had turned in this direction, Zara opened the door wider and let Alex edge past her and into the cramped apartment.
“It’s cozy,” he said with no hint of derision.
He was the first person besides her to see it since she’d moved in almost a year ago. It wasn’t built for entertaining, and it’s not like she had good enough friends or a boyfriend to have over.
“Well, the good thing about it is that it’s cheap,” Zara said. They’d only just sat down, her on the couch and Alex on the chair, when there was another knock on the door.
“Let me get that,” Alex said, rising to his feet and motioning her to stay seated. When she tried to hand him the money, he waved it away. “I’ll pay for the pizza. I’m intruding on your dinner so it’s the least I can do.”
When she tried to counter that she held a way bigger debt to him, he wouldn’t have any of it.
It was a good thing she’d spoiled herself and ordered the medium pizza. A small between the two of them would have been impossible to pass off as two meals.
“All I have to drink is tap water. I hope that’s okay,” Zara said, apprehensive. “I don’t like soda.”
She’d trained herself out of enjoying the sugary drinks. It was cheaper to drink water.
“That is perfect,” Alex said.
She relaxed. He was the perfect gentleman—did she expect him to rise to a murderous rage because she didn’t keep Coke stocked?
With an eagerness to match the grumbling in her own belly, Zara flipped open the box and grabbed a slice of pizza, blowing on it to cool it. The first bite was exactly what she needed. Somehow, food always tasted better when it was free.
“Help yourself,” Zara said, noticing Alex hadn’t made a move to take a slice, watching her eat instead.
He did as she suggested, mimicking her movements, down to blowing on the piece and biting the cheesy end. There was an odd expression on his face, as if he didn’t know what to expect.
As he chewed, a broad grin spread over his face and he took a closer look at the pizza. Before he’d swallowed the first bite, he took another.
“Better pizza than you’re used to?” Zara asked before taking another bite. It was good pizza.
Alex flushed. He finished chewing his mouthful, eyes darting to the side as though considering what to say. “I’ve never had pizza in New York. I can see why it’s so universally praised.”
She leapt on the opening—he’d dodged most of her questions the night before, but he couldn’t do that forever.
“Where did you grow up, if you’re so new to the city?”
He took another bite of the pizza instead of answering, like he needed the time to think of the answer. Finally, after he swallowed, it came.
“I was born in Los Angeles, but I grew up in Portland. Went to college at Stanford.”
She leaned back, giving him another once-over. “West coast boy, huh? I guess I can see it.”
He had that laid-back, easygoing look about him. And that perfect face must have done some modeling or acting—anything less would be a criminal waste.
“So you said you don’t have a number last night?” she asked. “What’s the story behind that?”
Alex looked at her, head cocked. “I don’t have a phone, actually.”
She waited a few seconds before it became clear he wasn’t offering an explanation. “Wait, you mean at all? Or you lost it?”
“I’ve never had one.”
It seemed unbelievable, but he didn’t seem like the kind of guy to make up such an unlikely story just to avoid giving his numb
er out.
“That’s so strange. I don’t think I’ve met someone without a phone since I was in high school, and that’s just because we were too young for them back then.”
He sighed. “I’m planning to pick one up tomorrow. I came to town looking for work, and I was supposed to stay with a friend, but they have been impossible to get a hold of. It turns out it’s impossible without a phone.”
“So where have you been staying?”
He shrugged. “I haven’t. No sleep since I got to the city. I just have my wallet and these clothes with me.”
Zara was shocked. “Are you serious? You don’t have any other friends you could go to?”
“No. I know no one else in the city. Except for you.”
“So you’re homeless?”
As bad as her life had been, she’d avoided that label, although she’d come close dozens of times.
“Kind of.” He didn’t look too concerned about it. “I’ll have to find a hotel tonight and hope I can land on my feet before I run out of money.”
She’d only known him one night, but he knew more about her than most people she called “friends.” If there was anything she could empathize with, it was struggling to stay afloat in the big city.
Zara shook her head. “I don’t think so. Stay here. I won’t have you wasting money on a hotel if you’re living on limited funds.”
“I don’t want to take advantage of your hospitality. I’ve already intruded too much.”
She reached out to take his hand where it sat on his thigh. “You saved me last night. I owe you much more than a place to sleep.”
“You’d let me stay?” Alex asked. That smooth voice was soft.
Zara flushed, the heat rising to her cheeks as she looked into his eyes. “It would be my pleasure.”
She’d never had a man in her apartment before, let alone one who looked at her like that. She wanted him to kiss her. Scratch that, she wanted to hop into his lap and kiss him. The silence felt electric.
How do normal people make a move?
Her inexperience crippled her. She knew what she wanted, but bringing herself to bridge the chasm between them was another matter entirely. Unable to get herself there, she dropped his hand and stood even as a part of her screamed at herself.
“Let me grab you a blanket,” she said. “It’s a small couch, but there aren’t many options in here.”
The moment was over—she’d killed it. The rest of the night, as she did what she could to make this handsome stranger at home in her small studio, she kicked herself for ruining a chance at finally experiencing that most basic of human experiences.
Lying in her small bed, she listened to his breathing as it slowed. The couch jammed up against the bed. If she’d wanted to, she could have rolled over and touched his shoulder. It wasn’t too late to make something happen.
Instead, she curled up on her side, trying to convince herself that all men were monsters and he would just end up hurting her if she opened herself to him.
Chapter 4
“Sorry,” Alex muttered for the seventh time that block as he failed to get out of someone’s way in time.
Some simple tasks were much more difficult now. When he was an angel, he could simply breeze through crowds of humans as the wind blows through a field of wheat. As a mortal, it was impossible to move through the rush of bodies with any speed or dignity.
How do they put up with this constant jostling?
Walking in a straight line was impossible. Beyond being frustrating, it made it exceedingly difficult to keep up with Zara.
She was on her way to her workplace, and Alex, while ostensibly planning to look for work today, intended nothing of the sort. He wanted to observe the woman and see if he could get closer to cracking the mystery of her uniqueness. He couldn’t let her know, however, or else he wouldn’t get to observe her acting naturally.
He lost track of her bobbing head for the fourth time. Zara was shorter than almost all of the other pedestrians on the sidewalk, and it made it challenging to keep track of her when the streets were busy.
Yes, it’s much easier to follow someone as an angel.
The ability to walk through people, objects and buildings and his ability to see through those things if he chose were two talents he sorely missed as he stalked his target.
Not to mention being able to make myself invisible.
He shook himself. He would be mortal for many years. He might as well get used to it. If he spent the entire time pining after his angelic form and powers, it would become very tedious.
With a clenched jaw, he zipped through the crowd as best he could, trying to catch up and spot the elusive woman. Breaking into a small, open space next to an intersection, he nearly ran into the diminutive blonde.
Zara!
She stood at the curb, waiting for the light to change and traffic to stop so she could cross the street they’d been walking alongside. She looked the other way, distracted by a man riding by on a unicycle. As she turned back to face the street, Alex edged behind her, holding his breath, heart thumping.
The light turned, and she set off, not looking back. He let her go, waiting until the walk signal had counted down almost all the way before he darted across the street.
“I never knew you could perform such a convincing puppy impression, Alexandriel.” The musical voice poured from empty air beside him. As he watched, Draconel materialized, fading into being. “Mortality is bringing out all sorts of hidden talents in you.”
The archangel wasn’t dressed in human clothes, as angels on Earth generally were. His bared chest would have been the envy of Greek gods, and a loose pair of white pants clothed him from the waist down. His wings spread wide behind him, extending for fifteen feet to either side, floating through people, cars, and light poles. A subtle glow of Light radiated from his body and his wings, every feather outlined by the glimmer.
Alex wasn’t impressed. Any angel could pull off the same look. Gabriel had pioneered it thousands of years ago as the Light’s messenger to mortals, and the rest had copied him whenever they wanted to convey that they walked with the Light.
It was a guarantee that Draconel only appeared to Alex. Showing any mortal this form would be a more daring repudiation of the rules of the Council than anything Alex had ever dared.
“Showing off for me, Draconel?” Alex said drily. “I’m flattered. Although now I’ll look like a crazy person, talking to myself on the street.”
The Light faded from the archangel’s body. Not all the way, but it was barely perceptible now.
“I thought I would give you a taste of Heaven in case you were feeling homesick. Don’t worry about the humans. I’m clouding their minds. They won’t pay attention to us, and anything they see will be forgotten in seconds. It will work on our human, too, so you don’t have to scamper around like a male attempting to catch his wife with another lover.”
Alex frowned. “She’s much better at seeing through veils than you can imagine, Draconel. I wouldn’t be so sure we’re in the clear.”
The angel snorted. “I’m an archangel, Alexandriel. Even other angels can’t see what I’m doing unless I allow it.” His voice brooked no argument. “Now, have you discovered anything more about our curious human?”
The phrasing made Alex bristle. Our human? She was Zara! And no one owned her. He opened his mouth to rebuke the archangel but stopped himself. Draconel was only here to help. It was natural that he’d taken a personal interest in the woman—she differed from other mortals.
“I haven’t had a chance to really delve into her past and figure out where the powers come from. I’m not even sure exactly what those powers are. So far, it’s been the ability to see through veils she had no business piercing and summoning Light strong enough to push back the Dark mages who’d jumped her. Whether that’s it or she has other talents remains to be seen.”
“Interesting,” Draconel said. “It’s too bad you no longer have your powers. That wou
ld make this much easier.”
Alex nodded. “And yet, bound to mortal form as I am, I’m able to operate without the restrictions placed upon angels. Even without the ability to see her aura, something about her pulls at me. There’s a deep vitality to her I’ve never felt before. I…”
He’d been about to say he craved her. That was a dangerous admission to make—even to himself, let alone Draconel.
Instead, he changed his words. “Do you have any ideas, Draconel? You’ve wandered Earth more than any non-Guardian I know.”
His companion stared forward, giving no sign he’d heard the question. Alex waited.
“I have several. I won’t be able to narrow them down until I have time to talk to her.”
Again, Alex fought down the urge to growl and challenge the other angel. Zara was his! He didn’t want another encroaching on his territory. He’d found her, and he intended to solve the mystery she represented, no matter the challenge.
Why am I getting so riled up about this? Draconel is just trying to help. Is this part of being a mortal, this irrationality? Or does it have to do with Zara?
There was Darkness within the woman, and it clouded his thoughts even as it enticed him. There was a seductiveness to it that he was unprepared to resist, so used to the pureness of the Light.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, at least not yet,” Alex said. “I’ve earned her trust, but I don’t know how deep that runs. I want more time with her before I introduce her to someone else. She’s not a person who makes new friends easily. I don’t want to scare her.”
“We may not have the time,” Draconel pointed out. “Hell already knows about her and has made an attempt on her. They will try again.”
Alex gritted his teeth. Draconel had a point. No matter what, he’d do whatever it took to protect Zara.
That may be difficult without my powers, but I’ll find a way.
“Give me a few more days, Draconel. I only became mortal last night. I need time to get my feet thoroughly on this world and figure out what my plan is.”
Fallen: An Angel Romance Page 5
