Her eyes twinkled as she spoke, and Zara felt her anxious thoughts soften. Sophie practically radiated calm, and it took a few moments before Zara realized how true that was.
“You’re one of those emotional mages, aren’t you?” she asked.
Sophie smiled. “You caught me. Let me know if it bothers you and I’ll stop, but it looked like you needed it.”
Zara almost told her to cut it out, but as she took the breath to do so, it came more freely than any had for some time. Would it do any harm to eat in peace, even if it was artificial?
“No, that’s okay. I should thank you. It feels nice to have my worries shouting a little less loudly at me.”
“Sophie is better than a masseuse,” Grace said. “Sometimes, I’ll get her to put it on me full blast if I want to just forget about things for a while.”
Zara had mentally relegated the ability to the side, unable to see the use for it. She might have to reconsider.
Sophie tilted her head to the side. “It’s nice to have a fresh face around. The elders let no one leave Lighthaven except under strict conditions. Makes it hard to have any social life, but hiding from the Dark mages is more important, they say.”
That caught Zara by surprise. “You can’t leave?”
“Aye, we can, but it has to be all planned out and only in groups of ten or more,” Grace said. “Makes it hard to have an impromptu stroll in the park.”
She’d been so excited about living right beside Central Park. It looked like she’d have to settle for looking at it outside the window.
If it keeps me safe from the Dark mages, it’s worth it.
“You came with Alex, right?” Sophie asked.
Zara nodded, but before she could speak, Grace cut in.
“Oh, I’d love to jump his bones, if you know what I mean. I’ve never seen a man with such a perfect face before. Except maybe Drake.”
Sophie looked at Zara as if she could sense the spike of anger that pulsed through her at the thought of Grace and Alex together. “Oh, come on, Grace. You’d fall right off him if you jumped on him.”
The Scottish girl nodded with a rueful smile. “Oh, I probably would, at that.”
“How do you and Alex know each other, Zara?” Sophie asked. “Are you two an item?”
Zara hesitated. She’d never had close girlfriends. This was the type of thing girls talked about, wasn’t it? It seemed so personal though—how could she tell them about Alex when she couldn’t even get her own mind straight about it?
Why should she trust them? She’d known Sophie for the space of five minutes, and Grace for not much longer. There was something different about them from the other people Zara had met through the years, a fundamental goodness that was hard to pinpoint. It was impossible to picture either of them taking what she told them and twisting it to malicious intent.
When did I start trusting people so easily? First Alex, then Drake, and now these two.
“Well, of course Alex is gorgeous,” she said. “He saved me from a couple of attacking Dark mages about a week ago, and then a couple of nights later, I repaid the favor. We’re definitely not an item, though.”
Grace cocked her head to the side. “Do you want to be?”
Zara grimaced. She didn’t want to confront this right now. “Maybe? I mean, he seems like a good person, but I don’t know.”
“And he’s hot.”
The Scottish girl wasn’t shy with her emphasis.
“Okay, yes,” Zara admitted. “He’s hot. But I don’t know. I’ve never really done this.”
“You mean dating?” Sophie asked. “Have you had a boyfriend?”
If it weren’t for the calmness Sophie projected at her, Zara would have panicked and left the table from how anxious the turn in conversation made her.
The girls waited, expectant looks on their faces. It looked like they were willing to wait a while.
Zara sighed. “No. My mom taught me to never trust men. And I never saw a reason to—it always turned out badly for anyone else I knew. But Alex is different.”
“Oh, man, you’re missing out,” Grace said. “Sex is amazing. That might explain why you came into your powers so late, though. It usually knocks it loose when you’re a teenager.”
That was new information. “Oh, really? And you too have both… done it? I thought you had no social life.”
The girls looked at each other and grinned.
“We have our ways,” Sophie said with a wink. “And we’ll help you with Alex.”
Grace nodded. “That’s what girlfriends do.”
“Is that what we are?” Zara asked. “We only just met.”
Sophie put a hand on her arm. “It’s easy to see that you’re worth befriending, Zara. Just let us know if you need any help with anything and we’ll be there.”
The thought gave her a warm feeling inside unlike any she’d ever felt. She smiled, and tears came to the corners of her eyes that she had to blink away.
“Thank you. I’ll do the same for you.”
Zara gritted her teeth.
“Why do I even waste my time instructing you?” Reginald asked. He was pacing in front of her. “My time would be better spent assisting Ethan. You’re worse than Grace.”
Ethan wasn’t looking their way, but his chuckle made it clear that he was listening.
Her loathing of the two had grown ever stronger over the past week. It hadn’t surprised her when Sophie had told her that Ethan was Reginald’s son. The father’s poisonous influence was obvious once it was pointed out. Both acted like they were more important than those around them, and it pissed her off.
The spectators for her lessons had dwindled each day until there were none left. That was fine by her.
“Maybe you’re just a terrible teacher,” she said, burning with resentment.
He paused in his pacing, then whirled to face her. “What did you say?”
She shrugged, shrinking into herself. She searched for something placating to say.
You know what? No. I’m not going to bow down to this asshole any longer.
The old her would have done that, but the old her hadn’t been able to use magic, didn’t have friends. Hadn’t killed Dark mages.
Zara raised her chin.
“You weren’t able to teach Grace how to use her magic either. In fact, from the stories I heard, she regressed from where she’d been before you taught her. The common factor here is you.”
He puffed his chest out and straightened to his full height. He would have already towered over Zara if she’d been standing, but she sat at the table they used for lessons, so he blocked out the sun even though it was high in the sky.
“How dare you say that to me?” he roared. Light streamed from his eyes. “You are an entitled, ungrateful piece of shit and you don’t deserve the food we put on your plate.”
He had leaned over her, shouting so hard that spittle flew into her face.
Her blood quickened, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end as her body readied itself to fight or flee.
She was tired of running.
“I’ll talk to the elders tonight to recommend that we throw you and your useless mundane friend back onto the streets where you belong. You don’t even deserve—”
Her instincts kicked in, reaching within her in a graceful internal motion she hadn’t been able to replicate in over a week of effort. Pulling at the small ball of Light in her mind, Zara squeezed it as hard as she could.
Reginald’s tirade cut off with a yell as Light exploded from her, every pore in her skin emitting a wide, powerful blast.
The intensity of the Light escalated further, outshining the sun, blinding in its brilliance. Ecstasy filled her. She didn’t remember that from the times she’d called the Light in judgment, but it spread through her body now, a warm, pleasant flush accompanying the way the Light stroked her skin as it bled from her.
Frantic shouts finally broke through her exultation. Reginald was begging h
er to shut off the Light.
Figuring she’d made her point, Zara tried to release the Light. The previous times she’d used it, it had ended on its own, spent once her energy had run out. As she tried to let go of the ball of Light in her mind, it instead glowed even brighter.
“Turn it off, Zara!” Reginald shouted. “Stop blasting us with the bloody Light!”
I don’t know how!
If she’d had a competent teacher, this might not have been a problem. Zara panicked, reaching for anything in her mind that would help.
I need to make it go dark.
She struggled to gain control of the Light.
There!
There was a ball of Darkness beneath the Light, and she grabbed hold of it and brought it to her, using it to douse the Light.
Her skin stopped emitting the Light. Instead, Darkness poured forth from her in a rush of silent thunder.
Everything went black.
Chapter 8
Everything had disappeared, as if the sun had evaporated into nothingness. The courtyard ceased to exist, and Zara couldn’t see anything at all.
No, it hadn’t stopped existing. There was nothing wrong with her ears. A whimper from a few feet away was easy to hear.
It was followed by a rasping breath, and Reginald’s voice gasping a single word.
“Please…”
What is happening? What did I do?
Frightened of herself, Zara was shocked into letting go of everything in her mind at once.
The Darkness disappeared, revealing the courtyard around her once more.
A ball of Light a dozen feet away surrounded Ethan’s bent form, his body braced as though fighting back a gale-force wind that flowed from her toward him. Reginald lay in a heap on the ground between them, his arms over his head, whimpering.
The Light dissipated from around Ethan and he straightened. His jaw dropped as he stared at her.
Zara searched for words to say, unable to find them.
What am I?
The resumption of reality had finally found its way into Reginald’s awareness. He lowered his arms and looked around before scrambling to his feet.
The look he gave her was one of pure terror. He started to say something, but his mouth snapped shut and he turned and fled.
That left Ethan and Zara staring at each other.
“Ethan,” she said.
He shook his head and backed away, wary.
Zara sank to her knees, staring at her hands. Darkness had come from her.
“What am I?”
The words were barely a whisper, but they held more anguish than any Zara had ever spoken.
She’d thought she’d found herself, had the answers for who and what she was and where she belonged. Magic existed, and she could call Light. She’d had her struggles learning to control it, but despite those, she was happier than she’d ever been, with friends to share her time and herself with.
This changed everything. She knew it deep in her bones, even though her mind felt like it moved through heavy molasses and couldn’t consider the ramifications yet.
Zara hated and loathed the Dark mages for the way they’d come after her and almost killed Alex, but she’d been one of them all along?
Doors burst open across the courtyard, and a group of four mages entered, walking in a tight formation. Their faces were tight, grim. Reginald was nowhere to be found.
Of course he wouldn’t come back. Coward.
She recognized the man at the front—it was Trent, the guard who’d let them in when Drake guided them to the Lighthaven.
“You must come with us, Zara,” he said.
She looked up at them, tears coming to her eyes. They were afraid of her.
“What are you going to do with me?”
Whatever he saw in her face and heard in her voice softened his demeanor. “There’s a room here built to contain Dark mages. That’s where we’ll put you until the elders figure out what to do next. We’d prefer if you came quietly, but we’ll restrain you if you make things difficult.”
Her anger spiked within her, and for a moment, she reached for the Darkness.
No! What am I doing?
It was like there was an intruder in her mind she couldn’t trust.
She’d finally found a place she might be comfortable calling home some day, with people like her who could have become a family.
Now it might all get taken away.
Zara choked back a sob. “I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”
I’ll never call the Darkness again.
She hated that it was inside her.
Trent looked even more uncomfortable at her sorrow. “I’m sorry, Zara. I can’t change what has to happen. It doesn’t change what you are.”
And what is that?
Alex sprinted down the hall. The elders’ meeting room was at the end, and he needed to be in that room.
Where the hell has Drake been?
The archangel had disappeared after their first day at Lighthaven.
He’d been following his usual ritual, taking up residence in a little used room in the northern wing that had a view over the courtyard, watching Zara’s lesson as Reginald continued to bungle her instruction and damage her confidence. It had gotten so bad that Alex had to fight to hold himself back from knocking the man down whenever he passed him in the halls.
Alex used the time to consider unanswered questions. Not just about Zara’s heritage, but also about whether he could justify getting closer to her. He knew it wasn’t fair to her—he was an ancient creature, and although he wore a mortal form, she was anything but. She deserved someone more like her.
Putting aside how badly he wanted to hold her, he needed a plan for the future. Hiding in a house for the rest of this mortal life might be easy, but it didn’t serve the Light. He had to correct the balance. The Darkness was tilting the scales ever more in its favor, and unless the ship was righted, the Earth was at risk of falling under Hell's sway for good.
When Zara had flooded the courtyard with Light, Alex had exulted. It was glorious, pouring forth from her with greater intensity than ever before, showing that old bastard how wrong he’d been. It had been Justice.
Then the Darkness had fallen. Even from where he watched in the window, it had burned him dearly before he’d fallen away from the glass. A spear of it had blotted out the corner of the room, blacking out all light.
His immediate reaction had been revulsion and despair. That Zara was a Dark mage seemed impossible. No one had ever been able to access both sides of the balance before.
But Zara was still Zara, and he knew instantly that her future and safety were in jeopardy after the stunning display of power in the courtyard.
He skidded to a stop in front of the elders’ meeting room. Shouts overrode loud voices inside. He pulled the knob and slipped inside the room.
There were five elders: Niels, Lance, Geoffrey, Catalina, and Richard. They were the most senior and powerful of the Light mages in the enclave, although none were Beacons. There were no Beacons left on Earth, save for Zara.
Absorbed in their arguments, none of the five had noticed him enter.
“She’s a Dark mage. I don’t even know why we’re having this discussion,” Geoffrey said. “She should already be on the street. Either that, or we call in every Lightbringer and judge her here and now.”
Catalina snorted. “Really, Geoffrey, do you think that would work? She can call the Light and she’s judged Dark mages herself. We know nothing about her, and kicking her out is just as risky and rushed a decision as giving her free rein in Lighthaven.”
“We don’t know if she judged Dark mages,” Lance cut in. “We only have outsiders’ word on that. It may have never happened. No matter what, she can call the Darkness, and we can’t allow the Darkness to gain a foothold and taint the purity of Lighthaven.”
That gained murmurs of agreement from the other elders. No matter the disagreement over the details, they would alw
ays be united against the Darkness.
I’ve heard enough.
This was why he’d rushed down here. The Light mages were an easily frightened order after the destruction of the greatest among them, and if left to their own devices, they would use that cowardice to justify making a terrible decision.
Using tricks learned as an Attendant of the Light, he projected his voice, filling the room and startling the mages as he spoke. “You are being ridiculous. Zara isn’t evil. She’s a Beacon of Light, and the strongest Light mage alive. Besides, tainting the purity of the enclave is superstitious idiocy—the Darkness of a person’s aura matters far less than the actions they take to either support the Light or further the Dark. That she can summon the Darkness is a curiosity, but this is an opportunity to study it firsthand, not a reason to get rid of her. We can learn so much about our enemies by exploring her abilities.”
As he spoke, the elders shifted to face him. Niels shook his head. “I’m not so sure about this. We know nothing about her. We should err on the side of caution, and the cautious thing to do is to care for the Light mages that have spent most of their lives living in the enclave.”
These fools.
“No matter what, the Dark mages tried their hardest to capture Zara. If she’s a Beacon with some ability to call the Darkness, or if she’s a full-fledged Dark mage, do you really want them to get their hands on her? Kicking her out and leaving her to fend for herself isn’t an option. Drake brought us here because we needed shelter. Are you really going to kick us out without his assent?”
Catalina and Richard nodded, but Geoffrey pounded his fist on the table in front of him.
“Why should we care or trust what you have to say? You’re a stranger, and not even a Light mage. You could just be lying about everything. For all we know, you’re a Dark mage and that’s why you have no Light abilities. Drake only shows up here every year or two, and we don’t really know him that well either. Now that we know Dark mages can sometimes use the Light, he’s suspect too.”
Fallen: An Angel Romance Page 12
