The pianos are set back to back directing the audience and I wait to see Lexington take a seat at the other, but instead she stands and leans against the two where they connect.
Then all thought fades away when the lights go out completely.
Everyone in the bar explodes in cheers. Lighters and cell phone screens providing the light for all of fifteen seconds.
The minute the piano starts, the light comes down on Lex and Cal and her beautiful voices captivates all of us.
The song is slow and haunting as she sings in beautiful agony about her broken heart and how she wants so bad to feel something new and let the painful past go.
But, then... I hear Cal's voice as he sings about the awful pain of losing this woman; how the loneliness is draining him and he is desperate for relief from that pain. He keeps that same haunting melody as he sings and I am blown away at the pain in his voice and the beauty of this talent he hides.
Suddenly there is more of that beat that Lex hones and drums though you can’t see them, but they are there. They sing the chorus together, desperate for the longing they feel to be recognized and it hits me. I know that is why she announced this song. This is the song and it is for me.
This entire show was never about Tayla, but me and how he came to love me.
He fucking loves me.
I smile seeing Tayla dab tears in her eyes knowing she is wrong, so very wrong. He is mine and this is him proving it once and for all.
By the end of the chorus that electronic beat is like a heartbeat as he continues to play, and starts the next verse and sings alone. There’s no hiding the emotion he gives in this or its effect on me.
Ral, Carrie, Cassa and Bright all come around me as I feel every word and wish I could see his face. I need to see his face so I know I am right.
I need to be right.
He sings about being lost and demanding he is heard, then everything they have built changes, explodes and becomes an all-encompassing power when he rises from the piano and lays into his guitar with everything in him and all his talent at once. Everyone is screaming and clapping when the stage lights up at seeing TAT on the stage.
Noah is playing the piano, taking over for Cal as he stood to play the guitar and starting belting out the chorus side by side with Lexington. Shame is on the drums, making it all too real as he beats the hell out of the orchestral drums, honing in the power he has and still keeps it soft. Chad beside him on a double bass.
The entire performance and the song itself was mastered to be powerful from beginning to end.
And then he truly blew me away and brought me to my knees when he started to rap. It wasn’t hip hop rap, but it wasn’t the Beastie boys either. It was as if his words were coming faster than he could ponder to sing and he needed them out there and heard. It was unique and his eyes were on me.
Every single word meant for me. I was captivated when he walked toward me telling me he was nothing without me, couldn’t keep being without me and the loneliness suffocating him.
Lex's voice breaking through in her soulful way as he stood before me, silence from him as she finished singing the chorus with nothing but that haunting piano played perfectly by Noah.
Then he sets his guitar down gently on the stand beside his piano and comes to me as he raps the final verse before pulling me to him and kissing me in front of everyone.
In front of Tayla.
Then and there in front of industry reps, fans and family he made it clear I am his and would always be.
The lights went out as the crowd went ape shit, and I fell into him and held him and tried to fix everything we had broken.
No fight left in me. Whatever I was fighting against changed the minute I knew that he put everything in the work with Lex.
Chapter Seventeen
Jen
Once the show was over I followed the girls and Raleigh to the back of the stage as we looked for our men. Lexington and Cal are against the sponsor wall and posing for photographs and answering a few questions for TMZ, Rolling Stone, Guitar and Sound Logic magazine. I wait the whole ten minutes before I charge to the group as it disperses and grab him from behind, turning him to face me.
"Hey Firefly." He says and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear.
"Caly..." I say and go to my tip toes and pull his mouth to mine until I couldn’t breathe. "I have no words for what you have created here, none. Every song felt so personal..."
He cups my face in his hands and forces me to look at him. "They were Red. I wrote the music and told Lex everything I could about how I feel, from losing Tay and finding you under the ruble. Every single song is inspired by you."
"My Journal?" I ask about the song that brought the house down.
"Fine-tuned and made for you baby." He says and winks as he taps my ass.
"It was your journal of us." I state, knowing I am right.
"I wanted so bad to find a way to tell you and I was always lost for words. There’s this hive of emotionally stunted bee's and it is centered in my chest. I couldn’t take the agony of it anymore." He cups my face so gently and I see the flashes of a million cameras going off, but he is my focus and I am his. "I had to show you and let you see inside of me, like you let me see inside of you."
I feel the tears come from his confession and the tears are welcome here. "I love you so much Cal." I say and turn my face into his palm kissing it.
He grips me tight and brings me against his chest before burying his face in my neck. "I love you Jen. So, fucking much it's scary." He pulls me to his mouth and kisses me deeply, his tongue a welcome promise. "I am so in love with you. Madly."
More lights from cameras flash as he confesses something I have died a thousand times it seems, to hear.
"You and the songs you wrote... you are so talented Lexington. You were able to help him show me his depth." I say and hug her close, hoping she understands how thankful I am.
She smiles so kind at my words and I misjudged this woman. She was a gift that brought him to me in a way he couldn’t have before. "He suffered for this Jenny. He needed it real, right down to actually rapping."
We both laugh, and still the memory of it had me mind blown. "He did it the first time when he was frustrated for the next part of the song. He wanted a lyrical bridge instead of a solo by itself. He was so annoyed trying to find it he started rapping some bullshit and honest to God... there was no denying his gift to know how to pull it off."
I am still astonished by the show and the intensity of every minute. "I don’t know if thank you will ever be enough, but thank you." I say and hug her close.
She is interrupted as we talk about the after party at our house once everything is done here and she agrees. I say my goodbyes to everyone, including Cal again.
"I want to be alone now." He says quietly against my lips and I agree, moaning into his kiss.
"You’re the one who planned an after party." I say. He groans as he pushes me against the back of his Jeep. I sit on the bed with the door open to my side when he invades my space and splits my legs with his body.
"I could pull some real rock star shit and fuck you right here..." He questions and I know he means it because he is a nasty depraved pervert. I love that about him and though I wouldn’t dare do it, I toy with him and lean back on my elbows.
"I'm game." I taunt and the idiot I am didn’t take into consideration that he is dead serious. He starts looking over his shoulder as one hand works his jeans when I laugh and stop him.
"I was kidding." I say and lean up to kiss him.
"That's some savage shit firefly." He says and luckily the guys come out with some of his gear and interrupt this little interlude.
"You aren’t cancelling this party bro." Shame says and eyes me, like I was the one with the plan.
"Told you." I say and blow him a kiss as I hop off the back end of his jeep.
"Will you get your fine ass outta here so I can focus woman?" He says and lifts his amp to set it in
side, before looking at Chad. "You mind hauling some in your truck for me?"
"Yeah." He says and grabs the other amp that won’t fit and sets it beside me.
"Alright. I am gonna head home and hopefully see Axe before your parents take him." I say and lean in to kiss him goodbye again. He pulls my hair free of the perfect messy knot Ral created and roams his fingers through the tangles down my back.
"Love you." He said and tugs the bottom of my hair like he always does when he wants me to look at him. Hearing him say it so simply and free in front of his friends melts me.
"You too, Caly." I say and kiss him for the final time of this epically cheesy goodbye.
"Jesus Christ, none of us were this pathetic." Shame says and Cal laughs.
"Give me a break, you guys are all still just as bad."
I laugh and hug the guys goodbye and leave him to get teased.
Rightfully, happily so.
Chapter Eighteen
Jen
I get to my Escalade and I spend the one hundred or so feet to the only spot that I could find after running late, and I wish I could leave with him. Tonight, calls for a celebration though and we have nothing but time now.
I use the FOB to unarm my Escalade and come around the front where I stop short on the driver’s side mirror when I see a man come from the back of my truck.
"Scared me." I say and chuckle to myself assuming it was a concert goer. I step forward to get to my door when he charges me slapping his hand over my mouth.
"Remember me bitch?" He says and presses his body against mine forcefully and I can’t move or fight from the force as he knocks the wind out of me.
I have to scream for help, but his hand is too tight over my mouth and I struggle, fighting anyway I can to get away from him and run.
"I know who you are now you cunt, and now I am gonna get your money or your soul. Don’t care which, but what I am willing to do to you I would say money is the smart choice.
I don’t know who he is and don’t care. There is no way I will be used as leverage against Cal.
Soul it is, but he won’t get it easily.
I am trying to see his face and can’t, it’s too dark and he is to the side of the street lamp in the distance and shadowing his face. I try to stay calm and be clear headed even though I am scared, I know how to fight.
I bite his palm as hard as I can and he pulls back from me and starts screaming as do I.
"Help!" I scream and try to knee him, but his yelling at me smothers my scream. "Rape." I yell again as he pulls his fist back and punches me in the mouth, splitting my lips...and I see his face.
'I am cumming in this dirty pussy bitch, then my buddies here will when I am done.'
Everything inside of me sheds the fear and all I can do or think is to not let him do this again.
His hands get stronger on me and I spit in his face when the struggle forced him to move his hand again. Right as I tried to scream help again I felt his hand close over my throat. Once he had a good grip, he slammed me against my truck. Shocking, sever pain splits through my shoulder from breaking the mirror off the door. Pain, sharp and blinding shot through my neck and back and I lost all use of my arm.
Trying not to panic, I flail my body at him, my free hand clawing at him as my feet try to gain purchase and kick.
"Had you played nice bitch it would have been money, but you’re a fighter so I think I'll take your soul instead."
I feel his hand tear my leggings and his fingers enter me painfully.
"Jenny?" I hear Bright scream and can see them all from the corner of my eye still in front of the parking lot.
"Bitch, submit!" He says and slaps me with the hand that was inside me seconds ago.
I look to see if they’ve come to rescue me, but nobody is there. I pray to God they went to get help. I close my eyes against the intrusion as he spits on his fingers and shoves them back inside of me, tearing my skin. I go still. Calm. I close my eyes and think of Cal and the knowledge he loves me. He loves me and I will survive this if I submit.
I was high last time, and drunk so I couldn’t submit or understand how to fight them. Rape is about fear and will. Will to go through with it and fear to get the attacker off. It hurts to breathe because his grip is so tight, so I try again to relax, a difficult thing when you can barely breathe.
I am scared they will be too late and I won’t be alive to see my baby graduate school, or speak without ASL. I am scared I will never tell Cal how I have always loved him, every minute.
I cry at the thought of his beautiful music. Music he created while thinking of me. I love you, oh my God Cal, I love you. every awful memory and every good. You fought for me Cal...
"Look at me bitch!" He yells, pulling me from my safe place and demanding my fear. I refuse to show him an ounce.
I tell him to fuck off as loud as I can through his hand muffling me. I start screaming obscenities and begging for help, trying to bite his hand or fingers. I spit everything I can in my mouth against his hand, the more I fight the harder it is to grip my mouth for the drool. And I keep screaming.
Help! Help! Help!
Then, like the force of a wrecking ball he slams his fingers into me and smashes my face with his palm, crushing my head through my driver’s side window.
He comes, a fit of rage and picks up my rapist Spencer, and throws him off of me.
I feel everything go black as my legs give out and I fall to darkness.
Cal
It took forever to talk to reps and agents before I could get the fuck out of here. Lexington was overwhelmed and kept asking me for answers and I tried to explain it was what she felt comfortable about. I have never had an Agent. Neither have the guys. Brian took over most everything Tay did for us and worked with our assigned rep on the bigger stuff. I hate Heshen aggression and cannot wait for May, so it was nice talking to some producers and label’s.
For now, though, now I was going home with my lady and fucking her senseless.
For the next forever.
Bout damn time.
The guys help me haul the rest of my gear to my truck. Lex is still hobnobbing their asses inside when I spot Jen far off in the lot. At first, I think she is dancing, but the way she moves has me pause. Is she is trying to run, maybe fight? I can’t tell from where she is due to her escalade.
"She fighting or laughing?" I ask the guys and point to Jen, when the wives club and Ral come running out the back door.
"Get out there!" Cassa yells and points to Jen.
I drop all my shit, guitar and all and haul ass to her Escalade. Her muffled screams a roar in my head. "I’m coming Red!" I yell and hear footfalls behind me, a lot of them.
"Some mother fucker is gonna’ die tonight!" Chad yells as I round the end of her truck. I see some filthy thug mother fucker choking my girl and gripping her between her legs.
And then, I became a fucking monster.
Chapter Nineteen
Cal
I throw my body, all two hundred and forty pounds of muscle, into the guy. I grab him in a choke hold and by his belt for a good grip and sent him flying away from Jen. I watch in absolute horror as she falls, dead weight to the gravel lot and slams her head with a sickening thump.
"Red!" I yell, but dude gets up and charges at me. Shame comes from the side and kicks him in the thigh dropping him just before he got to me.
Chad and Noah are looking in the lot for another attack and yelling at the girls to get inside and call the cops, but they aren’t listening.
"Go to Jen, Noah!" I yell and grab this guy from the hair and plant him on his knees before me. He is dazed but it doesn’t mean shit. I carefully look to my firefly and see Carrie next to Jen and rest of them follow as the boys come to help me, but this shit was handled.
"Noah, stay with her!" I scream and can’t hold back from punching this scumbag in the nose, blood gushing from the impact and crunch.
He listens and lets me have at this mother fucker, know
ing Jen will need him if she is in pain or awake.
I lift the guy and half drag is weak ass to a far off light pole that is dim as fuck, but light enough to see my damage. "You’re going to prison mother fucker. Attempted rape," I state and knee him right in the dick, but refuse to let him curl in as the pain assaults him. "Maybe a possible murder had I not showed up." I box his ribs and stomach in rapid force six or seven times until he pukes bile toward me and I have to step back, letting him go.
He is down and I can here Carrie giving the location to the police and paramedics and see my Red not moving. I look to see Noah in a rage coming toward us. The guy was trying to stand, catch his barring when Noah grabbed him by the throat and slammed him to the ground. "That is my fucking family you piece of shit!" He spits through gritted teeth. I watch his fist flex in a desperate need to punch him. I am waiting for him to take the swing and I am half tempted to let him finish this dude’s ass whooping and head to Jen. Then, Noah says the worst possible thing for the state of mind I am in.
"You raped her, beat her bloody and threatened her son you fucking piece of trash, and that mother fucker right there..." He points to me and I have a ringing pulse in my head that I might pass the fuck out, my adrenaline dangerously high as I charge them. "This shit brickhouse right here is about to kill you, so beg fuckin loud and pray an angel stops him."
Noah let him go right as I came in and kicked him in the ribs, certain by the popping I felt through my boots that I busted his ribs.
Not enough.
I grab him by the hair and bring his face close to mine. "You threatened to harm my son?" I am so very calm as I speak and I don’t know how. I am a tight wire of explosive, thrashing rage right now and all I want is him to cease breathing.
"She’s a fucking crack-whore." He slurs. I whip his head back and choke him, ready to end him.
Fix Me_TAT_A Rocker Romance Page 22
