by Ciana Stone
He also knew that unless Charli found absolution, she would never be happy and would spend the rest of her life blaming herself for the child’s death. He couldn’t live with that, so he made a spur of the moment decision.
“I can help you, Charli.”
She looked at him in confusion. “How?”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
“With your life?”
“Yes.”
“With your death?”
Her brows lowered in a confused frown. “I don’t understand.”
Grady slid over to the edge of the pool and into the water without bothering to remove his clothes. He then held out his hand. She looked at him for a few seconds, then took his hand and slid into the water with him.
“Do you want to see her? To ask her forgiveness?” he asked.
“More than anything.”
“Then you’ll have to trust me.”
“To do what?”
“Bring you back.”
“What’re you going to do?”
“You know.”
He saw realization dawn in her eyes. It was followed by fear and then by courage. She nodded. “Do it.”
“You’ll want to fight back, but I’m stronger, so once I start I won’t stop.”
“I know.”
“Are you sure?”
Charli took his face in her hands. “I don’t want to live this way anymore. So live or die, yes, I’m sure. I want peace.”
He pulled her to him and claimed a kiss. It wasn’t one of passion or need, but one of genuine emotion. Grady was shocked through and through to realize that he wasn’t doing this just for her. He was doing it for himself because he was falling for Charli and wanted to be the hero that saved her from the hell that imprisoned her.
When they parted, she looked into his eyes. “If I survive this, I’m coming for you, Grady Judd and you know what I mean.”
“When you survive this, I’ll be waiting.”
He acted before she had time to realize his intent, whirled her around, grabbed both wrists to yank them behind her and force her over. Her head went under the water and he shoved her deeper.
Grady expected her to fight. When she didn’t, it shocked him. He felt her let go and turned her over under the water, watching as her mouth opened and then the way her eyes widened and her body tensed.
Seconds later, the tension vanished and that look came over her eyes, the one he recognized all too well. It was the look of eyes without life. Grady pulled her up, into his arms and carried her out of the pool. He placed her on the concrete and knelt down beside her. Bringing someone back from death after drowning wasn’t new to him. He’d done it countless times during training. He’d had it done to him.
But he’d never done it for this reason. For the second time in his life, he used the ability he’d inherited from his grandmother and he called upon the dead. “Ani. Hear me. Charli is in between worlds, one foot in life and the other in death. She needs you. She needs forgiveness. If you love her, then please save her.”
Grady closed his eyes and willed himself to that place—that zone of nothingness between the living and the dead. At first, he felt nothing aside from himself, but then there was another presence. A child.
“Where is Charlee?”
“She’s here, Ani. Call to her.”
“Charlee? Where are you? I wanna see you.”
Grady felt Charli’s presence. “Ani?”
“Charlee!”
Grady could see ghostly forms taking shape. A small form darted by, becoming more clear. The child leapt into Charli’s arms, hugging her tightly.
“Ani.” Charli sank to her knees, hugging the little girl. “I’m so sorry. I love you. I wanted to save you.”
“I love you, Charlee. You not have to be sorry. Me fine. Me be with you again, okay?”
“How?”
“You has to believe, Charlee. And love. Okay?”
“Okay, okay.” Charli’s words were choked by tears. “I love you, Ani. Always.”
“Me too, Charlee. You my bestest friend. Now you go. Go with the big man. He takes good care of you. Me too. I always take care of you.”
“I love you, Ani. Please forgive me for not saving you.”
“You didn’t hurt me, Charlee. You just love me. It what bring me here. It's what will bring me back to you.”
“But how?”
“You see. One day. Go now, Charlee. We have to leave this place. Go back with big man. You see me again. I promise. I love you.”
The child’s form faded, leaving the ghostly shape of Charli, slumped and seeming so small that Grady mentally reached for her. “Time to choose, Charli. Live or die?”
She looked up at him. “Am I really forgiven? Is this real?”
“Do you want it to be?”
“More than anything.”
“Then come back, Charli. Let me bring you back.”
“Yes. Save me, Grady.”
Grady snapped to and set into action. Chest compressions, pinch her nose, breathe into her mouth. Chest compressions. “Come on, Charli. Come on—“
She spewed water and bolted into a sitting position, hacking and wheezing as her lungs expelled water. When she finally had her breath, she grabbed him by the shirt. “Did I—did you—what was that?”
“Forgiveness. If you’re willing.”
“If I’m willing?”
“She knew you weren’t at fault, Charli. She loved you and knew you loved her. You’ve been beating yourself up for something you didn’t do and couldn’t change and it’s time to stop. Carry the pain and the loss and the grief of what you lost, but don’t carry the guilt. You didn’t kill her. It wasn’t your fault.”
“I want to. I do. I want to, Grady, but I don’t know if I can.”
“Well, maybe you just need a big guy to help you out. Isn’t that what Ani said? Let the big guy help you?”
She smiled for the first time and threw her arms around him. “This seems like a dream, a quite vivid, but unbelievable dream.”
“Feels pretty real to me. And you feel cold. We need to get you inside into a hot shower and then into bed.”
“Grady I don’t think I—“
“I didn’t say anything about sex, honey. Just bed. Tonight I just want to hold you. If that’s okay.”
“It’s very okay.”
“Then let’s get you inside.” He stood, and scooped her up into his arms, a feat she admired since she was definitely no lightweight.
But Grady was solid like a mountain and seemed as invincible, and for the first time since she was a child, she remembered what it felt like to be safe in someone’s embrace.
She allowed him to undress her, put her into the shower, dry her off, and carry her to bed. He pulled her close and put her head on his chest with one arm around her back and the other hand on top of hers as it rested on his chest.
“You’re safe now, Charli. I’ve got you.”
Oh God. She realized how right his words were. He did have her. Hook, line and sinker. She was in love with Grady Judd.
The man who killed her.
The man who saved her.
Chapter Twelve
She woke to the feel of a warm hand sliding over her hip and down her leg, then dropping lower on the return trip to brush the side of her sex and on up to cup her breast.
Charli rolled over onto her back and looked up at Grady. “Morning, gorgeous.”
He gave her a smile and ran his strong, hot hand down the center of her body.
She smiled up at him. Last night felt like a bizarre dream and right now, she wasn’t sure it was anything other than that. Things like that didn’t happen in real life. Right?
“Did you drown me last night?”
“Yep.”
“And…” She rolled over to face him and propped her head on her hand. “I swear I was… somewhere. No where. There was no sky or ground or light or dark. It was gray. Just gray. But Ani was there. And
you. You were there.”
“I was.”
“And she was?”
“Yes.”
“But how?”
Grady shrugged. “I don’t know. All I know is that my grandmother on my mom’s side had the gift. She could talk with the dead—could go to that place between life and death, straddle the void somehow. I was told I got it from her. But I can only do it with people who are at the in-between place. At least that’s what she called it.”
“But Ani isn’t there. Is she?” Alarm had Charli scrambling to sit. “She’s not trapped in that gray−“
“No, I called her to come see you. She’s fine, Charli.”
Charli put her hand to the center of her chest, feeling her heart race. “This feels very strange.”
“Being here with me or your in-between experience?”
“Yes, to both. I’m not sure what to make of that—that in-between thing. I mean, I remember it. I believe it happened, but it’s not supposed to, is it?”
“I don’t know if it’s supposed to or not. There are a lot of things we can’t explain but our lack of understanding doesn’t negate them.”
“I guess. And then there’s you.”
“Me?”
“Yes. Why did you do that? Go into that place for me?”
He looked away for a few moments and she wondered if he was going to answer. Finally, he did. “I didn’t expect any of this either.”
“Any of what?”
“This.” His finger pointed from her to himself. “I thought it would be fun and games. Great sex and maybe me teaching you to know that there’s power in letting go. But I didn’t expect to—to feel.”
Charli’s heart sped up a little at those words. “Feel what?”
“I didn’t expect to care. I—hell, I don’t even know how to say it, Charli.”
“I do.” She realized that in this situation she was the brave one. “I’m falling for you, Grady. I know it’s fast. Maybe too fast. And maybe it’s not the stuff that forever is made of, but I feel it and it’s real.”
“Me too,” he said and reached over to smooth her hair back from her face. “So what do we do now?”
“Well, I have a couple of suggestions.”
“Okay, out with it.”
“First, I go pee and brush my teeth and then I come back to bed and we explore that thing about the power of letting go.”
“You think you’re ready?”
“I do.”
“Then get moving, girl.”
She grinned, got out of bed, and headed for the bathroom, calling over her shoulder. “You have a spare toothbrush?”
“Medicine cabinet on the left.”
Charli got down to business and had just finished brushing her teeth when Grady walked into the bathroom. He stopped, shoved his boxer briefs down, and stepped out of them.
It was damn near a religious experience watching Grady get naked. Charli could not help admiring what she saw, or wanting it. Tall, powerful, and aroused, he was the personification of sex—at least in her book.
She remained glued in place. When he walked over and plucked the toothbrush from her hand, she realized she’d forgotten she was still holding it. He smiled, put the toothbrush on the vanity, and then got his own.
Charli turned, propped her hip on the vanity and watched. Even the sight of him brushing his teeth was sexy. Especially since he was naked. The man had a body that turned her thoughts to one thing.
Sex.
“I know what you’re thinking.” He said after he finished. “You’re wondering just what it means—power in letting go. You’re wondering if it makes you subservient and less than me. If it gives me control.”
Grady took her hand and backed up toward the shower, pulling her with him. “The answer is yes. It does give me control, but it gives you more.”
“How?” She asked as he reached in to turn on the water.
“Because one word from you and it all stops. You can choose to give me what I want—what makes me crazy with need and satisfies me like nothing else can, or you can withhold it and make me suffer and beg.”
“I can?”
“You can.”
“And all by turning control over to you?”
“Yep.” He backed up into the shower and tugged on her hand so that she would follow.
She did and he pulled her into his arms as he turned into the center of the spray from the three showerheads. “Trust me, Charli.” He breathed against her lips a moment before claiming a kiss.
How was it that his kiss could affect her on so many levels? First, there was that initial rush of lust that had her wanting to climb him like a tree. But stampeding in on top of it was a swell of emotion that had her wishing that this one moment could last forever.
Then desire rushed back in and her skin burned with every slide of his hand on her. It was as if he sensed that need, and used her lust as a tool to tease because during the hour they were in the shower, he kissed, fondled, bit, licked and stroked her to orgasm half a dozen times, all the while wooing her with kisses that had her falling into a fast addiction for the taste and feel of him.
When he finally turned off the water and grabbed a soft towel to wrap around her, she felt like throwing him down on the tile floor and raping him. But she’d agreed to do things his way and would see it through.
“What now?” she asked when they finished drying off.
Grady took her hand and led her back into the bedroom. He stopped in front of one of the closet doors. At least that’s what she thought it was until he opened it and took her hand to lead her inside.
“Ooookay,” she said and looked around. “And what exactly are we going to do here?”
“Whatever you’re comfortable with?”
Charli looked at the benches and chairs and swings and racks, at the whips and floggers and all manners of clips and whips and things that could be inserted into a body and she almost changed her mind.
This kind of thing was definitely out of her wheelhouse. Grady must have sensed her hesitation because he took her hand and raised it to his lips to kiss her palm and then run his lips to her wrist and on up her arm.
By the time he reached the middle of her arm, she was feeling a whole lot warmer. He raised his head to look at her. “If there’s ever a time you want to stop, just say the word.”
“What word.”
“That’s up to you. What do you want your safe word to be?”
“Glock.”
“Glock?” He chuckled.
“Sorry, it was the first thing that came to mind.”
“It works. So?”
She looked around and then at him. “You tell me. What’s first?”
Grady walked over to a cabinet and opened a drawer. When he returned, he held a black mask with no holes for the eyes, a set of padded wrist cuffs and a long feather.
“A feather?” she asked.
“You’ll be surprised what I can do with a feather. Do you trust me?”
“Front or back?” she asked in answer to his question.
“What?”
“Do you want my hands in front of me or behind?”
“Front.”
She held her hands out toward him. “I’m all yours.”
“I promise you’ll leave wanting more.”
“Don’t tell me, stud. Show me.”
Grady’s smile made her breath catch in her throat, it was so damn sexy. He slid the mask on her and then moved beside her. “Just let me guide you.”
She did and he walked her a good dozen steps before stopping to turn her around. He lifted her arms up and she heard the sound of metal against metal as the cuffs tugged on her wrists.
A moment later his hands drifted lightly down her arms, then lower, stopping to rest on her hips. She felt his lips against hers, a light kiss that lasted only a second. Then his hands left her body.
“Are you ready?”
“Yes.”
“Then ask me.”
“Ask you what?”
“To pleasure you.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes. If you want me touch you, to make you come, you have to ask.”
It seemed a bit silly, but she didn’t say it. Instead, she complied. “Touch me, Grady. Make me come.”
A second later, something incredibly soft drifted over her right nipple. She gasped at the amazing sensation.
“What is that?”
“The beginning.”
Boy was it ever.
Chapter Thirteen
Charli turned to Grady as they stopped beside her car. “Call in sick,” he said and pressed her back against the car door to nuzzle her neck. “I’ll make it worth your while.”
She regretfully pushed him back. “I can’t.”
“Can’t, or don’t want to?”
“Even a woman as big as me has her limits, stud.”
He grinned and she knew that had been the right way to excuse herself from more mind-blowing sex. She’d been at Grady’s for two days and was pretty sure that if she went one more round with him she’d literally have to take time off because she wouldn’t be able to walk.
“So come back over after work.”
“That’s tempting, but I have to work tomorrow, too. Besides, I was going to take your advice and ride over to Taylorsville to talk with that guy, Robert Simmons, the one Juanita was supposed to scare. I think you’re right. Our fastest path to Estevez is through Simmons.”
“So you’ve decided against returning Juanita?”
“Yes and no. I’ll leave that up to the Chief, but if he’s leaning towards sending her back, with luck I can convince him to hold off until I can get Estevez’s location from Simmons and go find him and make him tell me where Juanita’s family is.”
“All on your own, super girl?”
Charli smiled and this time it was she who pulled him close. “I was kind of hoping I could get some big strong, super badass SEAL to go with me. Know anyone like that?”
“Hmm, big, strong, super badass SEAL, huh?”
“Sexy big strong, super badass SEAL. Mega sexy. Amazing in bed. Addictively amazing.”
