If he had his choice, she would be in a much more secure location, but she’d never agree, especially since the terms of the will dictated she be here. He’d have to settle for keeping an eye on things via cameras and visiting as often as he could get away with.
The thought had crossed his mind several times that if he really stepped into the role of being her boyfriend, it would excuse more frequent appearances in the spa, but that way lay madness.
He’d been attracted to her from the first and the attraction had only grown, but she disliked violence, steered away from it with every step. He had grown up with violence as a teen in the ghetto, in juvie, in the Navy. It was part of who he was, and had no place in her life. He would do the best he could without acting on his feelings—even though it made him ache more every day.
Sage spent the morning discussing treatment with guests, doing reflexology on a couple of clients, and designing promotions to attract guests during the slow fall and spring weeks between golf and ski seasons. She grabbed a quick lunch—under duress—then went right back to it again until Joel appeared as she was locking up at nine-fifteen that night.
“Long day?” he asked.
“Yeah, insanely, but it was good. We have lots of happy, relaxed guests.” She, on the other hand, was wound tight and could really use a long soak in a steaming tub. She never envied his hot tub so much before and considered inviting herself to use it, then decided against it. She’d have to settle for a bubble bath.
“Good. Anything unusual I should know about?”
“If there were, you would already know.” Sage sighed when he stiffened. “I mean because I would have contacted you.” She’d been more than a little freaked out when she realized how many extra cameras he’d installed in the spa—and that several had microphones as well. “I don’t think about the cameras much anymore. I know you installed them as a precaution, not so you can take over for my stalker.” She was comfortable with him, most of the time. Once she knew who he was, Joel’s presence had eased her stress and helped her relax—if you didn’t count the abnormal awareness she always felt in his presence.
Joel nodded, but kept his face as implacable as usual. The man was a puzzle. Sage waved to a few of the resort employees as they headed for the front door.
“Did you eat lunch?” he asked.
“Yeah, Rosemary brought me a salad, then made me eat it. I think she mostly stayed to pump me for information, though.” Sage released the mass of curls from her braid, shaking them out. She could almost hear her scalp sigh with relief.
“And to give you advice, no doubt. Rosemary seems full of advice.”
Sage grinned. “With her inner-city attitude. You’d think she wasn’t raised with the same financial advantages as the rest of us. I know Dad paid for private schools and special trips for her, too.”
“Sometimes we take our own track, despite our backgrounds and options.” His words were heavy with personal meaning, though he never talked about his past.
“True enough.” She and Harrison had both taken different directions from their mom, though neither had been able to completely leave their whole foods, mother-earth background behind. “Rosemary thinks we all need training to protect ourselves.”
“That’s a good idea. The little I’ve gone over with you isn’t nearly enough, and after events earlier this month, self-defense could come in handy. I’ll send an email to you girls and set something up.”
“Great. I can’t wait.”
Her words must have been lackluster because instead of opening the passenger door to his SUV for her, he penned her between him and the vehicle. “You’re getting more than that. I don’t ever want you to feel helpless again. I’m getting you a gun, we’ll do a concealed-carry class so you can have a permit and you’re going to learn to shoot it.”
Her mouth dropped. “I am not carrying a gun. No way. No how. Not happening.”
“Yes it is. After all of the trouble you girls had this summer, you can’t think I’m going to leave you vulnerable like that again.”
She couldn’t have shot their attacker anyway, and she’d woken with nightmares almost every night since. She shuddered as she remembered the feeling of helplessness, the desperate way she’d fumbled with her phone, contacting Joel to come rescue her, and the way it had made her feel useless that she couldn’t do anything. She folded her arms across her chest. “I won’t carry, and you can’t make me.”
He ground his teeth together. “How did you feel when Jonquil had that gun to her head?”
Helpless. Useless. Terrified. Sage had a total panic attack and never wanted to feel like that again. But carrying a firearm was anathema to everything she’d ever believed.
Her lack of speech must have said more than enough. “That’s what I thought,” he said. “You’re right. I can’t force you to carry it with you, but we’re going to get you a permit and buy you something in case you change your mind, and I’m going to ensure you know how to use it.”
She nodded. He wasn’t going to give her a choice on that, but she could deal with it. As long as he was around, she wouldn’t need to carry the gun anyway.
Everything seemed to go smoothly from there on out if Sage ignored the way her sisters kept peppering her with questions about the stalker, and never let her be alone. On Friday Sage selected Wendy, a pert woman in her mid-thirties, to be assistant manager. She had proven herself competent in dealing with customers and other staff members. It was a relief to have someone else to rely on, at least part time, because working thirteen-hour days, seven days a week was getting to her.
She finished up the deposit, took the bag down to the accounting office, and dropped it in the safe, then headed back to the spa to take care of some paperwork that was piling up on her desk. She hadn’t been there ten minutes, though, when Cami came knocking on the outer door.
Sage rose and let Cami in, locking the door behind them again, since it was late. “What’s going on? I thought you’d be long gone.”
“Like you ought to be. Have you got your assistant manager picked yet?” Cami now spent nearly every free waking hour with Vince, so she hadn’t been around much lately.
“Just today. She’s going to come in later on Monday and run things in the afternoon and evening—I’ll get to go home after lunch.” The thought of time to sit back and relax was balm to her frazzled soul.
“Good. Now, are you ready to leave?”
“You need an escort?” Sage asked, though it was the other way around.
Cami smiled. “Joel called me. He said it looked like you didn’t intend to leave anytime soon, and since I was still around, he wanted me to drag you home.”
“He’s only making you play escort because he’s busy in his office dealing with an incident report.” Sage leaned back against the counter. “And he calls me a workaholic.” She chose to ignore the fact that he’d apparently been checking up on her via the camera system. She hoped he hadn’t listened to her off-key singing while she cleared out her email inbox.
“It takes one, doesn’t it? I think as much as anything, it was a nudge to me, too. You’ve actually beat me home a couple times this week. How about if we grab some smoothies on the way out?”
“You don’t have a date with Vince?”
“He had to go out of town this weekend. He’s testing some new machines to clear snow this winter.” She rolled her eyes to show how necessary she thought it was. “As if he hasn’t already made up his mind.”
Sage chuckled. “Boys will be boys, and they must play with their toys.”
“Isn’t that the truth?” Cami shot a meaningful glance at Sage’s office. “Are we heading out?”
“Fine, you badgered me into it.” She was probably too brain dead for paperwork anyway. She called Joel to walk them to get their treats and out to Cami’s car.
In no time Sage was riding with Cami back to the house. She wondered why she had bothered to bring her Prius to Colorado—it wasn’t like Joel intended for he
r to ride it in again before the stalker was caught. She hadn’t driven herself anywhere since the flowers arrived.
Cami took a quick glance at Sage. “So, you and Joel—there really isn’t anything personal going on? I mean, I thought I saw some looks pass between you—”
“Things aren’t what they seem, obviously,” Sage cut Cami off, not wanting the topic to continue. “I’m a job to him, and he’s more robot than man anyway.” She’d caught glimpses of more from him over the past five months. He had a sense of humor he deployed when he let his guard down. He was gentle and polite to everyone—unless he sensed a threat. Then he went into full-on body guard mode, using his enormous frame of tightly packed muscles to shield her. He did his job well and shared nothing personal about himself. Not exactly an automaton, but not particularly approachable, either. On the other hand, he’d put up with her choice of restaurants a lot in LA, and even tried many of her vegetarian dishes, though she suspected he grabbed a burger after dropping her home again. He was very much a meat-and-potatoes kind of guy.
Cami’s fingers tapped on the steering wheel. “You know, I’ve been wondering lately about Dad’s plans.”
“Just lately? Because he didn’t throw us all for a loop when he announced to that we’re sisters and sent us out here to open the hotel?” Sage teased.
“Shut up.” Cami’s lips curved into a smile. “You know Dad hoped Vince and I would get together, even put a bug in Vince’s ear?”
“Yeah.” Cami had been livid when she’d found out.
“It turns out Vince wasn’t the only guy Dad planned for one of his daughters. Turns out Jeremy and Gage were also selected for a couple of us.” She mentioned her fiancé’s two closest friends.
That was news. “Really? Which of us? Can I have Gage, because he’s a hottie!” Both men were hot, in their own ways, but Sage was teasing, neither held any personal appeal.
“Vince wouldn’t say which sisters, but I’m guessing after the way Jeremy acted when he met Delphi...”
“Right.” Delphi had come back from their first meeting ranting about Jeremy’s overactive imagination. Sage had told Delphi that morning that she would meet someone special who would change her life. Delphi hadn’t agreed, but Sage still believed it. “And Gage?”
“I don’t know, but Vince indicated he was pretty anti, too, and the way he acted when he met us, I’d guess you weren’t the intended bride. That does, however, make me wonder if Dad planned something between you and Joel.”
Sage’s heart fluttered as they waited for the automatic garage door to open so Cami could pull in. “What makes you think that?”
Cami eyed her after removing the keys from the ignition. “You can pretend you only think of him as a body-guard, but I see the way you look at him sometimes. If you want something more than that, go after it with both hands. I never thought I could be this happy. I want that for you, too.”
“Wanting something isn’t always enough.” Sage got out of the car and slung her bag over her shoulder. She was tired and her body ached but she pushed herself forward with the promise of a mug of chamomile tea and the comfort of her bed. The oblivion of sleep would block out all the turmoil swirling inside her head.
“Let me help,” Sage said as she set the last of the dirty dishes next to the sink of hot soapy water in Joel’s kitchen a few days later.
He shook his head. “You cooked, I clean up.”
Sage opened a few drawers until she found his stash of kitchen towels. “But you bought the food. I’ll dry.”
He smiled. “Fine, have it your way. Did I mention dinner was delicious?”
“A couple of times, but I don’t mind hearing it again.” They’d eaten together before—dozens of times over the past months—but suddenly she felt shy and uncertain. Then again, she’d always respected his demand for privacy before, but tonight she planned to push a little. “You have a picture on your mantle.” She’d picked it up earlier and had the impression of him holding and studying it.
He focused on the plate in his hands. “That is a traditional place to put them, isn’t it?”
“Yes. It’s just that you don’t have any others in your house and your apartment in LA was as bare.” The fact that he would bother to display a framed photo of himself and another SEAL meant it was important to him. “Who is it?”
When he didn’t answer, she tossed the towel to the side and shifted to face him, resting her hip against the counter. “Is it really asking so much to get some basic information about you? I hardly have a childhood secret you don’t know but you never talk about yourself.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “You still have a secret or two I haven’t managed to unearth?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared.
Joel smiled. “Fine. It’s not like it’s confidential. Wade was my bunkmate at boot camp and we dragged each other through all of our training classes and into bud/s. His wife, Trudy, sent me the picture a couple of days ago.”
“So he’s a close friend?”
“The best. He’s saved my hide more times than I can count, and vice versa. I’d walk barefoot across the Sahara to help him out, and I know he’d do the same.”
Sage was hurt that he kept most of his life a secret. She stared at her hands. “You never talk about your SEAL days. I thought special forces guys were supposed to be all braggy and talkative, even if they had to tell their stories with significant editing for national security reasons.”
“Most guys do.” Joel finished the plates and glasses and moved on to the pans. “I don’t feel the need to brag.”
She studied his face and decided there was a lot more to it than that. “You’re purposely trying to shut me out. You don’t want me in your business.” She swallowed and nodded, picking up the towel again. The pain of knowing he wouldn’t share any of himself with her cut deep, but she would deal with it. She was a big girl.
“It’s not... Look, I’m not trying to hurt you.”
“No, well you do a good job anyway.” She refused to look at him as she put the plates away and moved back to the silverware. “I’m sure it’s safer that way. You don’t risk that I might reject who you are if you keep it from me, and if you push me away, it’s nothing personal when I don’t get too attached.” Sage knew enough about human behavior to understand that. She had to believe it was why he kept the distance between them or she would curl up and cry.
“It’s not like that.” His voice was low, exasperated. “And we all have our hang ups. What’s the deal with you and your terror of guns, anyway?”
“You’re deflecting.” But Sage already knew if he didn’t want to discuss it, he wouldn’t—she counted herself lucky that he’d told her anything about Wade—even those spare sentences.
“Right back at ya.”
“Fine. You’ve met my mom. You know I was raised to believe in peaceful solutions above all else. Using a gun goes against that in the worst way. I’d rather take my chances.” Except she wasn’t entirely sure that she believed her words; being held at gunpoint had made her feel helpless.
“Not at the risk to your own life. There’s no peaceful solution to this, Sage.” Joel touched her arm and turned her to face him, though she still didn’t meet his gaze. “He moved a thousand miles to be with you; he’s not going to leave you alone if you just ask him to. Obsession is a scary thing.”
Her stomach clenched and her hand curled around the saucepan handle as she tried to beat down the panic the thought raised in her. She jumped slightly when Joel’s hand slid up her arm to her shoulder.
“Hey, take a deep breath, you’re safe here.” He removed the towel from her hands, then led her to the barstool—his place didn’t have a dining table despite plenty of room for one. “I didn’t mean to freak you out, but we have to be realistic. It’s best to be prepared. Hopefully you’ll never need the pistol I bought for you today, but if you do, I want you to have it, and I want to be sure that you can use it safely.”
“I
don’t think I can ever shoot someone, Joel. Not even if my life is in danger.” Dread accompanied her rapid heart rate and it became difficult to breathe. She hated feeling this way.
“Sage, look at me.” He turned her to face him, his dark eyes boring into hers. “I’m going to teach you how to use it because I know that you won’t unless you have to. You won’t go off half-cocked and do something stupid. It matters to you. Killing is not something to take lightly.” His voice softened. “I’ve done it before, and I won’t hesitate to do it again to protect you, but there’s a price in your soul, and I never want you to have to pay that.”
His voice and his gaze steadied her, made her breathing loosen and her heart speed for a different reason. She’d never had these panic attacks until the stalker started contacting her, but Joel had a way of working her through it much faster than she could do alone.
“So why do you want me to learn?”
“Because when it comes down to it, living is still the better option. If you’re left with no other choice, I’ll help you cope. I’ve been there.” He pulled her close and she buried her face in his chest, soaking up his comfort. “But you have to live.”
Sage wouldn’t think about the possibility that she’d need the practice. But when he was protecting her, helping her, she could deny him nothing. “Okay. I’ll let you teach me.”
He released her, shifting away to re-establish the distance between them. She sighed, knowing the moment of tenderness was over as he climbed back in his shell—out of her reach.
Joel ran down the hotel halls looking for Sage. The corridor seemed endless as he flashed past door after door. He could hear her screams for help and the familiar ratta-tat-tat of a machine gun in the background. Through a window he saw the coast of India where one of his unit members had nearly died when his crew came under fire.
SEALed With Love (DiCarlo Brides book 2) (The DiCarlo Brides) Page 4
