Never Again

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Never Again Page 15

by Lilliana Anderson


  “You seem distracted tonight,” Bran said, getting me to tilt my head back as he rinsed out the shampoo.

  When he was done, I leaned against his chest and closed my eyes, feeling at home when his arms wrapped around me and he pressed a kiss against my temple.

  “Remember how I told you I got into some trouble that affected my standing at work?”

  “I do.” He picked up the bath sponge and squeezed water all over my chest, washing my skin with gentle strokes. He was a rough lover, but a gentle carer; the perfect mix of soft and hard.

  “I thought it was over, but it isn’t. I feel like I’m caught in career limbo and I’m powerless to change it.”

  “Want to tell me what happened?”

  Frowning, I took one of his hands and pressed mine against it, noting how large it was by comparison. “Not particularly.”

  He released his breath slowly and hooked a finger under my chin, tilting my head so we were looking at each other. “I know you don’t want this to be a traditional kind of relationship, but that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me.”

  “I know that.” I smiled briefly then turned my head away. “I just don’t want to get into it. It depresses me and I don’t want to be depressed with you.” In fact, I didn’t want any part of my life with Jack intersecting with Bran and me. They were two different worlds with very different emotions. Bran was my happy place and Jack was my mountain of regret. The two didn’t mix.

  “OK,” he said, running his nose along the shell of my ear. “I suppose if you don’t want to talk, then I can at least take your mind off things.” His hand slid over my stomach suggestively.

  Shifting slightly, I parted my thighs, giving him access to the place he sought.

  “Does it help when I do this?” he asked, his fingertips playing with my clit in circular motions.

  “Mm-hmm.”

  “How about when I do this?” He pushed two fingers inside me, angling his thumb to continue his stimulation of my clit.

  “Yes.”

  “And this?” His other hand slid underneath my breast, his fingers finding and twisting my nipple.

  “Uh-huh,” I gasped, my hips rocking with the perfect movement of his hand.

  Lifting my arms out of the water, I threaded my fingers into his damp hair, pulling at his head as I twisted and found his mouth.

  Our lips brushed, but I didn’t find the connection I craved. “Kiss me,” I whimpered, trying in vain to pull him closer. I wanted his tongue in my mouth and his teeth on my lips. Opening my eyes, I looked straight at him. I wasn’t above begging. “Please.”

  I was met with dark pools of mossy green, watching me intently as his slid the tip of his nose against mine. “Not until I see you come.”

  He was so close, his lips mere millimetres away, torturing my desire as his hands worked their magic. Our eyes locked, but I struggled to maintain focus. He was so beautiful. What he saw in me, I didn’t quite understand. There was just something there, something so huge that it filled the world around us and made what was happening between us feel like the only thing that mattered. Everything else fell away when we were alone.

  “Bran.” My body tightened, preparing to fall.

  “Don’t look away,” he murmured, adding a third finger, filling me further. It tipped me over.

  “Bran.” His name. It was a sound that came out as a moan that he caught in his throat when his mouth covered mine, and my body shook and shattered against his hand. When he released me, I turned in his arms, keeping our mouths together as I deepened the kiss and wrapped myself around his waist, taking his length inside. I shook against him, moaning and kissing, rocking and gasping. He took handfuls of my flesh, pushing and pulling as he claimed my mouth, my skin, my body, until we both exploded, our shattered pieces mixing together, entwining us even further.

  He was becoming a part of me, a part of this new life I was carving for myself. It was still early days, but I couldn’t imagine growing tired of his presence or his touch. Or his mind. And I wasn’t sure if I wanted to. In these moments of bliss, the idea of keeping this intensity seemed like heaven. But in reality, when the endorphins had settled, my hunger for Bran was more like hell—needing to be hidden in the shadows instead of celebrated in the light. A dirty little secret. Would it be possible to make this last when the odds were so obviously against us?

  20

  “Why didn’t you read this properly? I cannot believe you didn’t realise this was court ordered. We could have appealed the decision.” Disappointed, Olivia stubbed out her cigarette as she handed me the letter I’d received detailing my counselling sessions. I felt like the dunce of the legal profession. “What a bloody nightmare.” She lifted a hand and adjusted her oversized sunglasses, leaning back in the chair at our favourite café. Well, it was her favourite because it was one of the few that still allowed smoking.

  “I know. I was stupid and didn’t read the whole thing.” Folding the pages, I slid them into the envelope and tucked it away in my bag. “I should have known it was too good to be true.” I’d been too distracted by a certain twenty-year-old office hottie to pay much attention to anything.

  “That attorney of his is a snake. I’ll bet he’s forcing all this on you while still fucking some plaything on the side.”

  I shrugged. “He said he wasn’t, but I don’t put a lot of stock in what Jack says. Lying seems to be his default setting.”

  She lit up another cigarette. “Let’s not forget manipulation, philandering, duplicity, as well as general cuntiness. I swear, I never understood what you saw in that man. I’ve always felt he was a snake-eyed devil.”

  “Don’t hide your feelings,” I stated, sticking my finger into the side of my apple turnover and licking off the cream.

  “It’s better than eating them,” she said, her eyes falling to my sugar-coated pastry.

  Bunching my brow together, I glared at her. “Fuck you, Liv. What’s up your butt today?”

  She shook her head and stubbed out her half-finished cigarette, blowing out a lungful of smoke as she did. “I’m sorry,” she said, looking genuinely regretful for her misplaced comment. “I’m just really stressed right now. What with work and worrying about you…and my missed period, I’m not getting a ton of sleep lately.”

  I choked on a flake of pastry. Did I just hear that right? “You missed a period?” My eyes bugged out of my head as I tried to react and have a drink of water so I could breathe.

  “I’m hoping it’s menopause,” she replied, reaching for her cigarettes and pulling another one out halfway then sliding it straight back in the packet.

  “You’re only forty. It’s a bit early, isn’t it?”

  She lifted her hand to her head. “God. What if it’s not?”

  “You mean, what if you’re pregnant?”

  She worried her lips together and nodded.

  “Then we deal with it.” I reached across the table and took her hand. “I’ll support whatever decision you make. Have you taken a test yet?”

  She shook her head. “I am literally too scared to.”

  “OK. How late are you?”

  “Two weeks. Normally, I’d put it down to stress, but I’m never this late and that Paul”—she shook her head—“he keeps coming back. I keep letting him through my door—I’m not supposed to do that. Bringing them to my place is against my rules.”

  “What about that guy you were with last Friday?”

  “I’m two weeks late, Cora. Even if I had gone home with him, that would be an impossibility.”

  “If you went home with him?”

  She avoided eye contact by fidgeting with the mug in front of her. “It’s possible that Paul called me and I ditched the guy at the bar and met up with him instead.”

  My eyes widened. “You’re in a relationship,” I gasped.

  “No.” She was in complete denial. “No. I don’t do those.”

  I fought a smile. A small part of me felt glad that Olivia wasn’t infalli
ble when it came to men either. But mostly, I worried for my friend. “You aren’t on the pill?”

  “I’m late for my depo shot because I’ve been so busy with these trials. And we got carried away one night and the condom broke… The timing fits.”

  “OK. Then we go and get you a test. We can do it tonight. I’ll come to your place and hold your hand while you wait.”

  She released a small laugh. “Could you take the test for me too?”

  “Sorry, doll. I’m not the one who might be pregnant.”

  Clapping her hand against her face, she moaned. “God, what if I am? I’m not responsible enough to have a baby. I’m selfish and conceited and I don’t love anything other than my own reflection.”

  “That’s not true at all. You love money too.”

  She laughed. “That’s true.”

  “But seriously, Liv. This is going to be fine. I’ll be here for you every step of the way.”

  Nodding, she straightened her back and took a sobering breath. “Well, now that that bombshell is out of the way, we should probably get back to work. Meet you out front at six?”

  “Absolutely,” I replied, plastering a smile over my face as I secretly texted Bran underneath the table.

  Me: emergency best friend duty tonight. Don’t come

  As we headed back to the OPP, I felt the vibration of his reply in my bag.

  Bran: I’m probably going to jerk off thinking about your tits, so I can’t promise that

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