Hyde's Absolution: Sydney Storm MC

by Nina Levine

  I was about to go to bed when he finally showed up. Yanking the door open, I found him on my doorstep looking anything but okay. Dishevelled accurately described him, from his hair to his clothes to his body language. And he watched me with haunted eyes, causing my worry for him to shoot even higher.

  I reached for him. “What’s going on?”

  He didn’t answer me. Instead, he stepped inside, shutting the door with his boot, and pushed me up against the wall. His hands were under the baby-doll I wore within seconds, and a deeply satisfied growl came from him when he cupped my breasts.

  I pushed against his chest in an effort to stop him, but I had no shot at that. Hyde was on a mission.

  He lifted me so he could carry me into my bedroom. I took the opportunity to ask again, “Hyde, what’s going on? You look like shit, and I’m worried about you.”

  Another growl from him. “Only thing you need to be worried about, sugar, is opening those legs of yours and letting me fuck you.”

  I was all for sex; he knew that. But I was more for him sharing his load. That didn’t have to mean dumping all his problems out in the open, but what I was looking for was some back and forth. If this relationship was going to go anywhere, I wanted us to know we could come home at the end of the day and find some comfort there.

  When we reached my bedroom and he deposited me on the floor, I forcefully stopped him from getting his hands all over me again. “The only way you’re getting fucked tonight is if you stop for a minute and tell me how you are. I’m not looking for details. I just want you to talk to me and share yourself with me.”

  His face darkened. “It’s been a long fucking day. You want me to share the shit I’ve got going on in my head?”

  “Yes.”

  He shook his head. “No, you don’t. If you knew what was in my head, you’d run a fucking mile, Roe.”

  “You need to give me a little more credit, Hyde. I may not know exactly what you do when you’re out on club work, but I figure it’s not rainbows and unicorn type shit. I can see you struggling. Between dealing with your daughter, and your wife, and your club, you’ve got a lot going on. You don’t have to carry that all by yourself.”

  Silence filled the room while he processed that. This relationship was so new that I had no grasp on what he thought. Not when it came to this kind of stuff. So my veins buzzed with a little apprehension as I wondered what he would say or do next.

  “I’ve been a shitty father. My kid hasn’t seen me since she was two. I left her mother and never went back until recently. That enough to make you think twice about me?” It was like he was trying to provoke me. Trying to throw bad shit about himself at me in an effort to push me away.

  I moved so my body was flush against his, and I gripped his waist. “You’ve already told me you aren’t perfect, so no that doesn’t make me think twice about you. I’ve seen you with Charlie, and I think you’re working hard to make things right.”

  He hissed, and his muscles under my hand tensed. Curving his hand around my neck, he held me, his fingers digging in to my skin. The small amount of pain that caused coiled desire through me. God, I wanted this man, even if he was a fucked-up mess. “I hurt people, Roe. I fucking inflict pain on them until they give me what I want. I am not a good man,” he said through gritted teeth. His fingers pressed harder into my skin, and I decided right then that I was going to hell, because this only heightened my want for him.

  “You don’t hurt people you love.”

  “I have.”

  That should have stopped me, but it didn’t. “Who?”

  He dropped his head and swore sharply, “Fucking hell.” Looking back at me, he yelled, “Everyone! I’ve fucking hurt everyone I’ve ever loved!”

  I flinched when he yelled, but at least I’d managed to provoke some emotion from him. Up until then, he’d been holding it back even though I sensed it lurking. The room vibrated with his anger. It snaked around us, a menacing evil that threatened to rip us apart. But I refused to let it.

  I pushed him and slapped his chest in my frustration. “Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to push me away?”

  I hated that he was so hard on himself. The Hyde I knew wasn’t a bad person. Why couldn’t he see what I saw? Why didn’t he know that everyone hurt those they loved?

  His hand snapped around my wrist as he snarled, “I’m doing what you asked, red. I’m sharing myself with you.”

  “No! This isn’t sharing. This is you trying to show me all your bad parts at once. That’s not how relationships are built.”

  He yanked my wrist closer to his body while still gripping my neck hard. “This is me showing you what you’re getting yourself into,” he barked. “Now’s the time to walk if you don’t think you can handle it.”

  My own anger flared. Why was he trying to ruin this before it even got started? I pulled my wrist out of his hold and pushed him again. Harder this time so that he stumbled backwards. “What else have you got for me, then? Tell me your worst, and we’ll see if I stay,” I yelled.

  His nostrils flared and his eyes flashed with fury. Before I knew what was happening, he had me around the waist and off my feet while he carried me to the bed. Dumping me on my back, he straddled me, hands pinned either side of my body. He stared down at me with the same level of frustration I felt towards him.

  “You’re playing with fucking fire, Monroe. I’m trying to tell you that I will hurt you. I will fuck with you. I will fucking rip your heart out and smash it to pieces. And you’re not fucking listening. But you need to know that’s what I do. I’m a fucking monster.” His chest pumped furiously as he struggled for breath while spewing his toxic words all over the place.

  Rage and passion collided in the room around us as we both fought for what we wanted. He wanted me gone; wanted to save me from himself. I wanted him to understand I didn’t love small. When I let him in my life, I chose to accept all the parts of him and to love them equally. And I loved big as fuck. He couldn’t escape it.

  I clutched his shirt. “You are not a monster. And I’m not fucking going anywhere. Go ahead, hurt me, fuck with me and rip my heart out. That’s what love is, Hyde. It’s the good with the bad. I can take it. But you better be ready for me to fuck you up, too. Because that’s love. The give and take is where the magic is. I want to bleed with you and cry with you and be slayed with you. And then I want to laugh with you and build a future with you and get wet in my shower with you. You made me fall for you. Now you can man the fuck up and show me why I made the right decision.”

  His breaths came hard and fast as he stared down at me. I thought for sure he’d keep arguing, but he didn’t. His lips crushed to mine, and he kissed me like it was the last thing he’d ever get to do on earth. Hyde was an intense man, but this kiss was something else. I could have lost myself in it and happily stayed there forever.

  When he finally dragged his mouth from mine, he rasped, “I want you on your hands and knees at the end of this bed, and that ass of yours in the air. And Monroe?”

  My fingers squeezed tighter around his shirt. “Yes?”

  “I hope you’re ready to take everything I’ve got to give.”

  I knew he wasn’t just talking about how he was going to fuck me. His eyes told me that. I nodded. “I am. And one last thing—I don’t want a condom between us anymore. I’m clean.”

  He pushed up off the bed so he could stand at the end while I positioned myself where he’d said to. His hands came straight to my ass and ripped my G-string off. He then ran them up my back and around to cup my breasts under my baby-doll.

  My back arched, pushing my ass up higher. He groaned at that and moved one hand from my breasts so he could nudge my legs further apart and run his finger through my pussy.

  “You’re fucking dripping for me, red.”

  I kept my back arched while I also angled my face up. Everything he did felt so damn good. “That’s because you get me so worked up, even when you’re bloody arguing with
me.”

  He slid a finger inside me, and I moaned with pleasure. “Next time I won’t argue. I’ll just fuck it out of you.”

  I moaned loudly, closing my eyes as he fucked me with his finger. I wasn’t even able to form a reply to what he said. It turned me on way too much, but I didn’t want to encourage him to not discuss shit with me. God, this relationship was one big fucking contradiction. I wanted all the things I shouldn’t.

  “You thinking about shit, sugar?”

  I wiggled my ass at him. “So what if I am?”

  He gripped my hips and pulled me back closer to him. His zip sounded, and he slid his cock along my pussy. “I need your mind on my dick, so stop fucking thinking about anything other than that.”

  “You have no idea—”

  His dick slammed into me, cutting me off. My mind exploded with light as need raced through my veins.

  Oh God, yes!

  Fuck, this was what sex was about. And the fact he was bare only made it better.

  Hyde was a fucking master at it, and I would willingly let him take charge of me in this way any time he wanted.

  He wiped every single thought from my mind as he held my hips and pounded into me. I gripped the sheets and took every thrust. We were untamed and savage, desperate for each other.

  There was a brutal beauty to the way he fucked me. He took what he wanted with ferocious demand, yet he gave me so much in return. More than anything, he showed me how much he wanted me.

  He roared out his release when he came. I wasn’t far behind, and as I orgasmed, I collapsed onto my elbows. When he was done, Hyde let my hips go and rubbed his hands over my ass. “You’re fucking beautiful, Roe.”

  The angry intensity was gone from his voice, and in its place was something a little softer. Not that soft was a word to ever be used when describing Hyde, but I felt it from him. I loved that he gave that side of himself to me, even if for only a rare moment here and there.

  I pushed myself back up onto my hands and turned to face him. Kneeling, I looped my arms around his neck and kissed him. “You make me feel beautiful.”

  And there was that intensity back in his gaze. “Good. I never want to make you feel anything but that.”

  I watched him quietly for a beat. “I can love you if you’ll let me, Hyde.”

  He stilled. “You sure about that?”

  My heart beat faster. “I’ve never been surer of anything.”

  His lips bruised mine when he stole another kiss from me. “Give me everything, and I’ll give it right back to you.”

  It was in these moments, when he allowed himself to be vulnerable like this, that I caught a glimpse of the man I was falling in love with. I knew he’d battle me every step of the way, knew he’d be difficult and argue with me at all turns, but I believed it would be a battle worth fighting. I believed Hyde was worth loving.

  Chapter 32

  Hyde

  I stared at the glass of whisky I’d just had Kree pour. My hands shook as I contemplated drinking it, and my head pounded with a headache far worse than any I’d had in a long time.

  “You want water instead?”

  I glanced up to find Kree watching me with a knowing look. “No, I fucking want this.”

  She dropped her voice, but the bar was fairly empty at this time of the morning, so no one would have heard her anyway. “How many days has it been?”

  “One.” But it felt like a hundred.

  “You can do this, Hyde.”

  How the fuck did she know what I could do? I didn’t even fucking know what I could do. At this point, I was ready to throw every last drop of whisky I could find down my throat.

  Yesterday had been the kind of day I never wanted to relive ever again. After I’d made sure Charlie was okay and that Tenille would stay with her, I’d had to get back to help King. The number plate on the car that dumped Marx outside the clubhouse came from a stolen car, so that had been a dead end. After receiving that news, King decided we’d visit the last two Italians on our list. The night had descended into bloodthirsty mayhem while I carried out King’s orders. Turned out neither of them was the man we were looking for. All it had done was leave a bloody trail that would possibly have the feds crawling all over us. I’d then gone home to a roaring argument with Tenille who still refused to tell me where she’d been when Charlie fell. The way she fought me told me it was nowhere good. All of that without a fucking ounce of whisky in me.

  The saving grace had been when I’d ended my shitty day at Monroe’s house. It had been an explosive battle with her to begin with, but she stood up to me and gave me everything I wanted in a woman.

  I’d made it through the night without touching the bottle, but this morning was a whole other story.

  I stood and shoved the glass back towards Kree. “Throw it away. And don’t pour me any more.”

  She arched her brow. “You’re gonna listen to me when I say no?”

  “Probably not, but you’re gonna stand your ground.”

  “This is the worst plan. Just so you know.”

  I was feeling agitated as fuck, so I needed to get out of there before I took it out on her. “Noted,” I threw back over my shoulder as I headed outside.

  King came through the front door of the clubhouse just before I reached it. Narrowing his eyes at me, he said, “You look like hell. How’s your daughter?”

  “She’s got a broken arm.”

  “And your ex? Still fucking you around?” He’d drilled me on my family after I returned from the hospital yesterday, so he knew where I was at with them.

  “Yeah.”

  “Go home and sort it out, brother. I’m waiting to hear from Bronze today. He thinks he may finally have something on Ryland, which would be good fucking timing if he did. Until then, I’m just gonna lay low. We can do without you for a few hours.”

  I nodded. “Call me if that changes.”

  As I headed home, I wondered if it was the best move. With Tenille being so damn hard to deal with, and me being this agitated, the situation was just asking for trouble.

  Charlie glanced up from the kitchen counter where she sat eating a bowl of cereal when I arrived home. Frowning, she said, “I thought you had a busy day on today.”

  “I thought so, too, but plans changed. Where’s your mother?”

  “In the shower.”

  I dropped my keys on the counter and sat with her. “How are you feeling?”

  She rolled her eyes. “You already asked me that this morning. I’m fine.”

  I ignored her attitude. “And I’m gonna keep asking you.”

  After finishing her cereal, she placed the bowl on the counter. “Yeah, well I’ll probably start ignoring you.”

  “At which point we’ll have an issue.”

  Tenille joined us in the kitchen, her hair wrapped in a towel on her head. “What are you doing home?”

  “I figured we had some stuff to go over.”

  She stiffened. “We don’t.”

  I stood. “Tee, let’s start over here. I lost my temper with you yesterday, but I don’t want us to go on like this. I don’t want us to be angry with each other.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t either, but I’m feeling like I’m out in the cold here.”

  I frowned. “How?”

  “You’ve got your new woman, and you’ll have Charlie here with you. I’m not going to be a part of it all soon. I just don’t want to feel like I have no say.”

  I glanced between Tenille and Charlie. “What do you mean that I’ll have Charlie here with me?”

  “She hasn’t told you yet?”

  I checked my patience, but fuck it was hard with the way she drew this conversation out. “Told me what?”

  “I want to come live with you for a while,” Charlie blurted out.

  “Here? You want to live here, with me?” I wanted to believe what I thought was being said, but I was sure I’d fucked it up somewhere. Charlie hardly knew me.

&nb
sp; Tenille dropped her arms. “Yes, with you,” she snapped. “She wants to come and live here with you and your girlfriend.” I didn’t miss the nasty tone she took when she mentioned Monroe.

  “Mum,” Charlie said, “I never said I wanted to live with Monroe. Why are you being like this?”

  Tenille turned on her daughter. “Well, what am I supposed to think? You seem to really like her.”

  Charlie’s chest puffed out like it did when she was about to go to war with her mother, so I stepped in. “Okay, you two, enough.” I needed to tread carefully if I didn’t want to alienate Tenille. “Look, I’m all for Charlie coming to live here—”

  Someone knocked on the front door, interrupting us. Charlie slid off her stool and said, “I’ll get it.”

  I watched her leave before pulling Tenille close. “We need to discuss this without Charlie in the room. Can you hold off until later?”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  “We also need to discuss our divorce,” I said quietly. Her jealousy over Monroe led me to believe this would be a touchy subject, but it was one I had to bring up. I felt like a complete bastard doing it to her, though.

  She blinked rapidly a few times before pulling out of my hold. “I was wondering how long it would take you to mention that.”

  I raked my fingers through my hair. “Fuck, Tee, this whole situation is screwed up. Have you heard from Craig?”

  “He keeps calling me, but he’s back driving in Western Australia, so he can’t get here.”

  “Gibson keeps sending him over there?”

  A strange look crossed her face at the sound of Gibson’s name. I would almost have labelled it as fear. I wondered if I’d caused her to feel that way towards him. Not a bad thing if I had. I wanted her to understand how dangerous he was.

  “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “Have you decided to leave him?”

  I fucking hoped she’d say yes, but Charlie came back into the kitchen before she could answer me. And with her was Shane Gibson.