“Cheers to that,” the girls said in unison.
We clinked our plastic cups of cherry soda.
After I swallowed, I said, “Damn, y’all. We seriously look good. Check out all the looks we’re getting.”
Kim blushed and Suzie blew a kiss at a passing teenage boy who then tripped over the flat ground.
“Everyone else here barely made an effort,” Gretchen said.
“Everyone else here is wearing cheesy costumes from those Halloween superstores,” Kim said. “We look like we stepped out of a black-and-white film.”
“Seriously, Gretchen. You should dress people for a living,” I said.
She shrugged. “I just popped around some vintage shops. No big deal.”
Gretch was weirdly modest about her multitude of talents. But we did all look fantastic. We all had outfits that perfectly accentuated our different figures and most importantly we all felt beautiful.
“You could open a shop from your closet alone,” Kim said.
She took a long sip of her soda. “When are the fellas coming?” she asked, effectively shifting the focus off herself.
“Ford is on his way.” Suzie examined the crowd.
“Devlin too,” Kim said.
“Oh, did you ask him about an autograph—” I asked.
“No,” Kim said. “We just got back together. I’m not about to scare him off with your intensity.”
“Fine,” I said. “I can wait a couple days.”
I was so happy for her. And Suzie. I knew their relationships wouldn’t always be so easy but I figured since they had survived a rocky start to their relationships, together they’d be able to handle whatever came next. I couldn’t wait to watch.
I blinked at the setting sun, feeling a new sort of hope.
“Are you thinking about him?” Gretchen asked softly at my side.
“Yeah,” I answered honestly.
She put her arm around me. “He’ll be here soon.”
I rubbed my palms on the thick fabric of my pants. “What if he doesn’t come? What if I’ve pushed him away too many times?” I asked.
“Then you’ll be okay. Time makes it better.” Something about the way she said it made me believe she herself had experienced the pain. I’d known Gretchen her whole life but she had so many secrets. “But also don’t forget who you’re dealing with here. He’ll be here.” She winked at me. Lord knows what strings she pulled.
“Okay,” I said and rested my head on her shoulder. I was so glad to have my SWS back. No ex left behind. It was okay to miss the connection with these amazing women. It didn’t make me weak.
A rumble in the distance made all of us turn our heads. All the SWS girls had a bit of instinctual reaction when we heard the growl of a bike engine, for good or bad.
“Oh, there’s Devlin,” Kim said. “Wait. That’s his bike but that’s not …” She trailed off.
“Oh my God.” Heat burned my cheeks.
That was not Devlin. The man on the bike struggled to maintain control, jerking the handlebars trying to overcorrect. That blond head of hair shone like a beacon in the pink light of the setting sun. He coasted into the space in front of us, coming to a stop. Sanders’ legs shot out to stop the bike from falling over.
“What is even happening?” Suzie asked next to me.
“I have no idea,” I mumbled.
I imagined all four of us mirrored the same shocked face, jaws hanging open. Kim’s shocked laughter broke the silence. It wasn’t long until Suzie and Gretchen joined.
Sanders finally wrangled the bike into a standing position and hopped off with his usual cool confidence. He shook out his wind-blown hair. If there had been any wind. Or if he’d been really riding and not just pushed into the parking lot by Devlin who waved to Kim from a few yards back.
“Oh my God,” I repeated, hiding my face in my hands.
At my side, the girls oohed and awwed.
“Look at those pants. I need those pants,” Suzie said.
Above black and white Chucks, Sanders wore black leather pants. Tight, black leather pants. In fact I would argue that “wore” wasn’t the right word because he clearly had been painted into them. They left very little to the imagination.
“Okay, well, now I get it,” Gretchen said and I elbowed an “oof” out of her.
I was vaguely aware of Ford, Jack, Devlin, and Skip on his crutches approaching the scene. My friends and I continued to stare as Sanders put on his show. He chewed on a toothpick, as he shrugged out of his leather coat, and laid it on Devlin’s bike. He squinted out to the horizon as he took a black fine-tooth comb from his back pocket. His arms flicked out with gusto.
“Lord help us,” I said.
Carefully, he brought the comb up to the side of his now trimmed hair to run the comb through the gelled sides. Slicked back with what must have been copious amounts of gel, he smoothed it out with the comb. His beard was gone but sideburns were halfway down his cheeks. Without the leather jacket, the white shirt he wore was fully on display. I had to admit the biceps flexing under the tightly rolled T-shirt did very good things to my insides.
He finished his dramatic hair comb and tucked it back into his leather pants. Honestly, I was astounded there was even room for it in those pants.
He made his way over to us and my heart beat faster.
“Hi, Roxxo,” he said.
“Hi, Sanders. I like your pants,” I said thoroughly examining them.
“They’re great, eh? I may not be able to have children now. But I’d say it was worth it.”
I bit back a smile.
“Are you grand-gesturing me, Sanders?” I asked.
“I’m here to ask you out on a date,” he said.
“I don’t want to date you,” I said.
“Lie,” he said, the charming smile sliding from his face replaced with heated intensity. I was vaguely aware that my friends had begun drifting off to give us privacy.
“I don’t want to talk to you, Sanders,” I said.
“Lie.” He stepped closer.
When we were only a few inches away from each other, he stopped. He didn’t reach for me but his body burned brighter than the midday sun had. Now that it was almost set, his body glowed in the perfect light. He actually glowed. I so badly wanted to lean into him.
“I don’t want you to hurt me again,” I said.
“Truth.”
I leaned in and kissed his cheek before I whispered, “This wasn’t how this was supposed to go.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
I turned and walked away.
Chapter 29
Sanders
Once again I watched Roxy’s retreating form. I went to chase after her when a hand stopped me.
“Give her a minute,” Gretchen LaRoe said.
“I thought you weren’t getting involved,” I said.
She bit into the sucker in her mouth. It cracked loudly. “Not unless I’m asked.”
I thought of what Roxy said before she walked away. I squinted in suspicion. “What is she going to do?”
Gretchen raised an auburn brow and shrugged with a secretive smile. “Nothing more ridiculous than this.” She gestured to the pants that were currently strangling my legs into numbness.
Suddenly, the music playing over the loudspeaker screeched to a stop and a monotone voice filled the air. Sanders Olsson, please meet your party at the Big Jump.
I glanced to Gretchen, wide-eyed. “Better hurry,” she said.
I walked as fast as these horrible torture-device pants would allow. Once I started looking, it was easy to find the Big Jump. Probably because it was a one-hundred-and-fifty-foot bungee jump rig that reached farther into the sky than any other attraction at the fair. By the time I reached the front of the line, the sun was already down. The bright lights of the traveling fair clicked on loudly and drenched us in light. I caught sight of Roxy’s pale face as a man strapped her into a harness with a thick green bungee. My heart dropped
into my stomach.
“Roxy!” I called.
She looked up to me. “Hi, Sanders.”
The man checked the harness by tugging on it. My own eyes studied every hook and latch to make sure they were in place. Her body shook as she gripped the edge of a red, boxy cage designed to lift her into the sky.
“What are you doing?” I asked her.
I reached for her but she couldn’t seem to let go of the flimsy metal walls.
“I’m showing you that I’m not afraid. I’m grand-gesturing you.”
Despite how terrified she looked, I couldn’t help my smile. “I didn’t think you were the type,” I said coyly.
“And I didn’t think you would ever paint yourself into leather pants,” she teased despite her quaking.
“Roxy, trust me, you don’t have to do this.”
“Yes. I do. I am tired of being afraid all the time. I want to show you that I’m literally and figuratively ready to leap. This would have been far more dramatic if you showed up like you were supposed to. Instead of on a motorcycle.” She shook her head with a laugh. “What were you even thinking?”
Pushing forward, I finally managed to grab her hands. They were ice cold and clammy. “I wanted to show you that I could be what you need me to be. I wanted to show you that I could be a biker. I dunno. It was Jack’s idea. He could be fucking with me, now that I think about it.” I shook my head to stay focused. “I’m serious about us. I’m not running anymore either. You can run and I will chase you. That sounded a lot more stalker-like than I meant it to.”
She huffed out a nervous laugh.
“I can be here and provide for you. I can give you whatever you need,” I said. I’d have to figure out the logistics but I never wanted her to feel alone.
“I don’t want you to do that. I just want you. You’re the one that I want.”
“You’re the one that I want,” I repeated back to her.
“Alright, now or never,” the bungee jump operator said stepping in between us and starting to close the door. “Going up with her or not?”
“Yes,” I said and jumped in before they could close the door. There was another ride operator in the cage, checking his phone, not at all listening to us.
“Here we go,” the first operator said, showing no emotion as he locked us in. Apparently our personal drama wasn’t unique. He signaled something to the second man and the whole box lurched.
“Why am I up here. Oh my God, why am I up here?” Roxy chanted to herself.
The cage stuttered as it slowly started to rise. A familiar rush of adrenaline hit me as the ground moved further away.
“You don’t have to do this. I don’t want you to do something that scares you.”
“Oh my God, oh my God,” she said. She looked down as we lifted slowly before tightly shutting her eyes. The higher we climbed, the fainter the sounds of the carnival became.
“It’s okay, Roxxo. You don’t have to do it. We can go back down. Hey, man, how do we take it back down?” I asked the guy on his phone.
He glanced to Roxy in question.
Roxy said, “No. I’m doing this. I want to.” The cart came to a stop and swayed lightly in the wind. “Oh my God.”
The operator checked her harness and opened a door that transformed into a little plank for her to jump from.
He brushed past me to illustrate how she needed to keep her arms crossed in front of her chest. “Make sure you keep your hands tight to your body when you jump. Try not to flail,” the guy said not caring at all that she was freaking out.
“Jesus,” I mumbled.
Roxy was stone silent. Her eyes were wide open now and her whole body shook.
“When you’re ready, walk forward and jump,” he said and slunk back to the corner. Apparently, he was used to customers taking some time.
I shuffled to the edge to look over as Roxy mumbled to herself. Down below I saw our friends waving.
“Just jump!” Gretchen yelled, her voice barely carrying all the way up to us.
“Not helping,” I yelled back down. Turning to Roxy, I said, “Let’s just go down and talk. I know you have no reason to trust me—”
Roxy finally looked at me. “I trust you more than anyone.” She shook her head. “It makes no sense. From day one, I’ve felt like I’ve known exactly who you are.”
“There is no one else for me,” I said, all silliness dissipated.
She watched me closely.
“The moment we met, I knew you were the one. I knew that every stupid, impulsive choice, every bad thing that had ever happened, had led me to that moment so I could meet you.”
“So grandiose,” she said but her eyelashes fluttered.
“Tell me you didn’t feel it too. Tell me that when we talked, you didn’t feel a connection unlike you have ever felt with someone. Because the more time I spent with you, the more I realized that what we have is the real thing. It was not fleeting. It was everything. These weeks apart have made me understand that I don’t want to waste another minute.” I brought her to me, trying to get as close as possible with a giant green harness in the way. “Life is too short to waste this. I love you, Roxy Kincaid.”
Something smoothed the fear from her face. She leaned into me and kissed me softly. “I love you too,” she said.
When I leaned in to deepen the kiss, I found only air. I opened my eyes to find her turning away. My hand shot out but it was too late. Without another word, she took two steps forward and tumbled over the side.
She screamed the entire time. People on the ground watched in mixed humor and horror. I covered my smile.
“Damn, I love that woman,” I said.
By the time the operator and I came back down, everyone had gathered around Roxy. Her face was flushed and her friends complimented her bravery.
“You’re gonna lose your street rep if you keep smiling like that,” Gretchen teased to a grinning Roxy.
Roxy glared at her friend before sticking out her tongue.
“There she is.” Gretchen hugged her friend and they laughed.
I tugged on Roxy’s hand. “I need her,” I said to the group without waiting for a response. I pulled her to a more silent alcove between two food trucks.
“Let’s play again.” I didn’t have to clarify.
She looked away. I tugged her hands closer and bent until she held my gaze.
“I’ve been too scared to understand the gift that your trust was,” I said.
“True,” she said immediately.
“I’ve missed you so fucking much.”
She looked up and to the side as her eyes shone in the setting sun. “True.”
“I love you.”
“True.” She sniffed. “It’s two truths and a lie.”
“No. No more lies.” I brought her closer, gripping her elbows. “I want to grow old with you.”
“True,” she said.
“No matter what happens. No matter what life throws at us, I will always understand that you don’t need me. That you could walk away at any time.”
She frowned but I went on.
“You could. You are a whole person as you are, Roxy. I don’t want to ever complete you. I want to complement you. I want to be there when you need me. I want to go away when you need space and return when you’re ready for a hug.”
Her chin wobbled.
“It’s okay to want a person to lean on. You would be fine on your own but some days you’ll be tired. Some days you won’t believe in yourself and I’ll be there for you. I’ll be your cheer section and you masseur and … your sex slave …” I wiggled my eyebrows and she rolled her eyes.
She quickly wiped away a tear that leaked out. My own eyes stung with emotion.
“The good news,” I said moving my arms higher and bringing her closer. “Is that there is no rush. Just like a tattoo, you’re on my soul forever. The good times or bad, you’re a piece of me and we have nothing but time. My life goal is to grow very, very old with you. U
ntil you have to change my diapers.”
“Lovely.” She smiled.
I pulled out my metaphorical trump card.
“I have something else to show you.” My hand went to the button of the birth-control pants.
“Sanders! Nothing in there can help right now,” she said with a laugh.
I winked. I turned around and shook my booty just a little.
She groaned. I watched her over my shoulder as I lowered my pants just a little and lifted my shirt.
“Oh my God. Sanders! Is that my name?”
“It is.”
Her soft finger brushed over the area my tattoo was, not the newly inked letters, but the gothic butterfly I got when I was eighteen.
“The lines are amazing and detailed. The skull pattern in the wings is so delicate you almost don’t see it at first. Amazing,” she whispered. Her hot breath on my skin made me shudder.
I quickly zipped up my pants and turned around. There was no room for growth in these pants. I brought my focus back to Roxy’s incredulous face.
“You tattooed my name,” she said with a shake of her head.
“I know I said they’re a jinx. But that doesn’t matter anymore. You will always be a part of me.”
“You’re insane. And this was supposed to be my grand gesture.” She shoved me lightly before grabbing my shirt and pulling me back. She kissed me softly on the lips before saying, “No more leaving anybody behind. No more disappearing. I couldn’t fucking stand that. Stay and have the fight but don’t leave.”
“I promise. Always. I’ll always fight for you.”
She shook her head. “Fine.”
“Fine?”
“You better shape up,” she said with an arched eyebrow.
“I will. Because you don’t need a man.”
“I know. But my heart seems to be set on you,” she said.
I whooped and punched the sky. “I’ll take it.”
“I’ll need to be satisfied.” Her gaze dropped to my mouth and then took in my whole appearance again.
“Chills.” I shuddered
“It won’t be easy,” she said.
“I’m up for the challenge.”
The One That I Want (Scorned Women Society Book 3) Page 26
