"I'm sure."
He threw Tay one more challenging glance before he strode purposefully out the door.
"I'm seriously afraid your boyfriend is a sissy," Tay said, watching him go.
"He's not my boyfriend and he's certainly not a sissy," Sharon replied angrily. "But you definitely are an idiot."
"Yeah, well, let's not discuss what you are right now."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Sharon demanded.
"I have to hand it to you," he said, leaning back against the kitchen counter and surveying her dispassionately. "It gives me a whole new respect for the workings of the legal mind."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"I thought you had planned the perfect revenge by dangling the threat of the developers over my head, but this is better. This is perfect. You worked on me just long enough to get me to admit it, didn't you, and then up pops the fiancé, right on cue."
"Admit what?"
"That I love you," he said as if the words were torn from his soul. "It must have been such fun, listening to me begging you to stay with me, when all along you knew you were getting engaged to him." He jerked his head in the direction of Pete's departure.
"I'm not engaged to him!" she shouted, shaking her fists.
"Oh, right, I guess not. Since you're married to me."
The tears were very close to the surface now, and Sharon's hands trembled as she pulled out a chair. "Tay, please sit down. I have to talk to you and I'm asking you to listen."
"Have I ever denied you anything?" Tay asked archly.
Sharon pulled out a chair for herself and sat, waiting.
"I may need another drink for this," he said.
"No more drinks," Sharon warned.
He sat across from her, watching her warily.
"You've gotten the wrong impression about Pete and me," she began.
"Oh, I see. He's a perfect stranger who wandered in here under a spell?"
"Could you cut the sarcasm and let me talk?"
Tay was silent.
“I work with Pete in the D. A.' s office.''
"He's a colleague."
"That's right."
"A colleague who took it upon himself to fly two thousand miles out here and propose to you.''
"Essentially, that's correct."
“What does essentially mean?"
"Oh, what is this? A quiz show?"
"Answer the question," Tay said humorlessly.
"I've been dating him,” Sharon admitted.
"Dating?"
"Yes."
"That's all?"
"That's all," she replied, emphasizing the second word.
"For how long?"
"About six months."
"You've been keeping that guy on a string for six months?"
"I haven't been keeping him on a string, as you put it. I just couldn't make the commitment that he wanted."
"So you're telling me he came out here to make a grand gesture and impress you into marrying him?"
"I guess that's about the size of it."
"So he didn't know about us."
"I didn't tell him."
"You thought you could come out here and marry me, get the ranch and then shed me like a skin before returning to his waiting arms?"
Sharon put her face in her hands. "I had no intention of marrying him, Tay. I didn't know what was going to happen when I got here. It was a sticky situation and I just didn't want to go into it with him. Can you blame me for that?"
"You mean you wanted to keep him hanging around, since our previous encounter had been less than successful."
"That is not what I mean."
"No?"
"You don't believe me," Sharon said miserably.
"I believe that I don't stack up to much next to a fellow lawyer."
"Oh, please, not that again. Tay, I was about to make love with you when Pete showed up at the door. Do you think I would have done that if I were expecting him to come here?"
"I don't know, would you?" he said, eyeing her levelly.
There was a shocked silence. Then, "You don't think very much of me, do you?" Sharon asked, stung.
"I thought a lot of the girl I used to know." His voice dropped an octave. "She loved me."
"Yes, she did," Sharon whispered.
“But you're not that girl anymore.''
"Thank God. You treated her like dirt," Sharon said bitterly.
"I never meant to," he said quietly.
"Thanks a lot. That helps a bunch. Do you know what it was like to lie awake night after night, wanting you, needing you so much I could taste it?"
"Yes," he said quietly.
But she wasn't listening, lost in the past. "Do you remember those white jeans you used to have?" she said dreamily. "I guess they weren't white, they must have been beige, but they'd been washed and bleached so much they looked white. They fit you like a coat of paint, and you used to work outside in them, perspiring in the sun until the waistband was dark with sweat. You'd take off your T-shirt and work half naked all day, and I'd have to walk past you, wanting to unsnap the snap and pull down the zipper...."
"Jesus," Tay said hoarsely, his hands gripping the edge of the table.
"I wanted to lick every drop of sweat from your body and kiss the place where it had been. I could imagine the taste of your skin, the smell."
"Sharon," Tay said wildly, kicking back his chair and standing, reaching for her.
She held up her hand. "And when I went to you in the bunkhouse," she continued, "I was not disappointed. You were everything had I imagined, and more. But of course you know how that ended."
Tay stopped moving.
"That has haunted me for ten years," Sharon said slowly. "I've only been with one man in my life, a student I planned to marry when we were both in school. The experience of sleeping with him was so pale by comparison with just the memory of the preliminaries with you that I couldn't go through with it."
Tay swallowed hard, his dark and luminous eyes fixed on her face.
"That was his only problem, you know," Sharon said quietly. "His and Pete's. Neither one of them was you."
He put his fingers over hers on the table. She snatched her hand back.
"And now you're going to tell me that I was taking advantage of you, leading you on while I was keeping Pete on the back burner? Pete never had a chance, and thanks to you, Taylor Braddock, neither do I."
She stood clumsily, blinded by tears, and he caught her against his chest.
"Let me go," she said, struggling weakly.
"Why?" he said, kissing her face, her neck. "Didn't you just say you love me?"
"I love you, all right, you creep, for all the good it's ever done me. You've made me more miserable than anybody else in my life, including my mother, and that's saying something."
He scooped her up in his arms. "Then don't you think we've wasted enough time?" he asked quietly.
"Tay," she whispered.
"You're my wife, Sharon," he added, silencing her with his mouth.
She closed her eyes as he carried her into the bedroom.
Chapter 9
It was dark in Tay's room, but he left the door ajar to catch the light from the hall. He set her on the edge of the bed and then joined her, drawing her down with him onto the pillows.
Tay could not wait and he carried Sharon along on the tide of his urgency. He kissed her gently and then not so gently, unable to reign in the ten years' longing about to be satisfied. He fumbled with the buttons on Sharon's blouse, his usually nimble fingers stiff and clumsy until he gave up trying, releasing her and sitting up.
"My hands are shaking," he said huskily, holding them before his face in the gloom. "I feel like I'm fourteen years old."
"I'll do it," Sharon said, reaching for her collar.
Tay shook his head. "I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you."
"Oh, Tay, how could you hurt me?" Sharon said softly.
"You may have notice
d that control is not exactly my long suit," he said dryly. "I couldn't bear it if..."
"If?"
"This wasn't right for you. After waiting so long."
"It will be right, it couldn't be anything else," Sharon said, moving next to him and embracing him. "Now why don't we start by getting rid of this sweater?" She tugged at its folds and pulled it over his head as he lifted his arms to assist her.
She dropped it onto the floor.
"Getting kind of bold aren't you, Mrs. Braddock?" he murmured.
"Only with my husband, Mr. Braddock." She slid her arms around his neck luxuriously and rubbed her cheek against his smooth shoulder. "Nobody else feels like you," she whispered.
"You have determined this from your vast experience of one previous lover?" he said lightly, resisting the temptation to push her back on the bed.
"Nobody else could feel like you," she answered, closing her eyes and running her tongue down to his flat nipple, obscured by a mat of dark hair.
Tay seized her and bore her down to the mattress. There was only so much mortal man could be expected to endure. He kissed her again, his tongue exploring her mouth, and she responded in the same vein, taking the weight of his body easily and turning her head when he moved his lips to her throat. She unbuttoned her blouse rapidly, anticipating him, and he followed the motion of her hands, mouthing the soft flesh of her neck and the cleft between her breasts. He pulled the blouse off her shoulders and lifted her to unhook her bra, working surely now, taking the clothes from her body with practiced ease.
When she was naked to the waist, as he was, he rolled onto his back and pulled her on top of him. He took one breast and then the other into his mouth, running his callused hands across the satiny surface of her back, lost in the scent and feel of her. Sharon's breath was coming in short gasps and as he teased a swollen nipple with his teeth she moaned aloud, clutching him to her convulsively. Inflamed by her response, he dropped one hand and unfastened her skirt, then pushed it clear of her bare legs. There was nothing left but the scrap of her panties, and he shifted her off him, bending to caress the silk of her abdomen.
Sharon felt as helpless as a rag doll as he dragged his lips across her navel and lowered his head to the tender skin of her thighs. His breath was hot, seeming to scorch her, and she tangled her fingers in his hair, soundless with emotion. He lifted one smooth leg and kissed the calf, then the delicate, slender ankle.
He looked up at her, supine and limp with pleasure, her upper lip misted lightly, her eyes huge in her shadowed face.
"Yes," Sharon said in a drugged, husky voice she hardly recognized as her own. "Oh, yes."
His unasked question answered, he removed the thin silk briefs in a second. She gripped the blanket and twisted it, making a sound of pure satisfaction as he grasped her hips and caressed her with his mouth.
Sharon never knew that her body was capable of such response; she whimpered and surged against him, digging her nails into his back, finally begging, "Now, Tay. I can't wait anymore."
Neither could he. He stood and undressed fully, dropping next to her on the bed and enfolding her completely. She sighed as she felt him entwined with her, fitted to her like a glove. His body was lean and hard and she reveled in it, hooking her slim legs around his longer, sturdier ones, her breath catching in her throat as she felt his arousal.
"Touch me," he said hoarsely. "I want you to."
Sharon obeyed him, encircling him with her fingers, feeling him throb and pulse in her hand. He groaned and dropped his head to her shoulder, pulling her tighter against him. After a second he loosened his hold and slid his body along the length of hers, positioning her. She followed him
naturally, turning as he rose above her, arching to meet him.
"Tay," she said. It was a sigh.
“I know,'' he murmured. “I know.''
He entered her in one smooth motion, and they made a sound of completion together, breath mingling with breath. Sharon closed her eyes and let her head fall backward as he moved within her.
"Oh, baby," he said brokenly, "why did we wait so long?"
Sharon couldn't answer, clasping him to her as they made up for lost time.
* * * *
The room was still dark but striped with moonlight when Sharon awoke. Tay was lying next to her in the bed, staring down into her face.
"Hi," he said softly.
"Hi, yourself."
"How are you feeling?"
"Spectacularly wonderful."
"Me, too."
"What were you doing when I woke up?" she murmured, reaching up to touch his cheek.
"Looking at you."
"I could see that. Why?"
"I like to look at you. I always have. Now I can do it without worrying that you'll think I'm staring or being rude."
"I see. Your status has changed?"
“You bet. Now I'm your lover.''
Sharon smiled tenderly and stretched, replete. "You certainly are."
"I should have been your lover long before this," he said quietly. "I shouldn’t have let you leave me that summer. I have never regretted anything so much in my life."
Sharon covered his large brown hand with hers. "Tay, you have to let that go. We both must let go of the past and live for the future now."
"I know that," he said quietly. "But I keep thinking that I could have done something a few years later, after you graduated from school and I got established here. I could have come after you then.''
"Why didn't you?" she asked.
He shrugged. "I don't know. Pride, I guess. I didn't know what kind of reception I was going to get after the way we left things between us. Then your father started telling me about your plans to go to law school, and I really felt outclassed. And when you got there and I heard about your dates, and then the fiancé, it seemed like it was all over, period. You had gone on with your life without me."
"You don't know how I prayed for a letter, a phone call, anything," Sharon said softly.
"About as hard as I tried to forget you with any woman who would look at me."
"And there were quite a few who looked, I hear," Sharon couldn't resist saying.
"Too many," he agreed morosely. "Too many people I hurt because they couldn't possibly be what I wanted." He lifted her fingers to his lips and she was struck by the contrast of their skins.
"You're so tan," she said.
He examined her hand. "Snow white," he said gently.
"I have rarely managed to get a decent tan," she said ruefully.
"You got one the summer you were out here."
"Oh, I worked very hard on that, trying to get your attention."
"You got it," he said dryly.
"Did I?"
"Come on. I took so many cold showers I was growing icicles on my eyebrows."
Sharon laughed. "I wish I had known that then. My delicate ego could have used the reinforcement. Every time I saw you with a woman I went into a black depression." She sighed elaborately. "I was usually depressed."
"You shouldn't have been. I wanted you."
"I'll bet that would have come as a surprise to Eloise Randall."
"Who?"
"Don't play dumb with me. You remember Eloise. She favored red cocktail dresses and stiletto heels? You left your mother's wedding party with her?"
"Oh, yeah. Eloise. Boy, you have quite a memory."
"The image of you following her out the door like a lemming marching into the sea was engraved into my brain. I was so jealous that I didn't know whether to kill her or you or myself."
"You should have killed her," he said, grinning. "That would have left the two of us alone.''
Sharon punched him. "Don't make fun of me! I really suffered. Don't you remember what it's like to be that age and fall in love for the first time? "
He shook his head, turning serious. "No. At that age I was too busy making war to fall in love."
There was no reply to that, and Sharon made none.
Tay peeled the sheet down to her waist and crawled on top of her, nuzzling her breasts. "Mmm, delicious," he murmured, licking them lightly.
"But too small," Sharon said mournfully.
"Who says?" he asked, lifting his head.
"Everybody."
“Aw, what do they know? You have always looked perfect to me." He lay back down and closed his eyes contentedly.
"I feel the same. People used to say you were too skinny but I never thought so."
"I was too skinny."
"You were gorgeous," Sharon said firmly.
He smiled without opening his eyes. "Far be it from me to argue with so relentless a romantic."
"You were!" she protested. She smiled suddenly. "When I came back here I was half hoping you had gotten fat. Or gone bald."
He chuckled silently, his shoulders shaking. "Well, if I keep on the way I've been going I'll probably manage to knock out a few teeth," he offered. "How's that?"
"Poor Pete," Sharon said, reminded of him by the turn of the conversation. "I'm sure he thought you were going to maim him for life."
"I guess I owe him an apology," Tay mumbled.
"Based on your inexcusable behavior I'd say you owe him a Porsche, but I suppose an apology will have to do."
"He said he was going to marry you," Tay growled. "How did you expect me to react?"
"Tay, really. If you had just listened to me..."
He raised himself on his forearms and kissed her on the mouth. "Do we have to talk about Pete right now?"
"I guess not," she said against his lips.
"I have an idea," he said, now kissing her neck.
"Uh, oh."
"No, you're going to like this one."
"Shoot."
"Let's have a wedding."
Sharon groaned and pulled the sheet over her head. "That is the one subject I would have thought we'd exhausted," she said weakly.
"No, I mean a real one, now that we're planning to stay married."
"Are we?" she asked, dropping the sheet and looking at him.
His face changed and he turned away from her. "Aren't we?" he said dully.
Sharon sat up. "Tay, I didn't mean...don't...I was only kidding," she concluded hastily, alarmed by his reaction.
He embraced her immediately, his bare arms strong and warm around her. "Don't scare me like that," he said tensely. "If this fell apart now I don't know what I'd do."
A Marriage of Convenience Page 17
