by Linda Mooney
Will glanced up to see Vall studying her. She got the impression he was memorizing what she looked like, and another stab of agony sliced through her.
I will return for you. It sounded like a promise.
“I look forward to the next time we meet.”
He reached out and cradled her neck with his warm hand. Fingertips brushed the area where her insignia should be. Will closed her eyes, savoring his touch.
When you come, will you have your skin marked again?
“When I return to base, I will need to get several upgrades, including having my Captain’s marks replaced.”
She took his hand from her skin, then released it and backed away. She didn’t dare remain near him. It was terrible enough watching him fade into nothingness as the trio disappeared. The bay got silent as Felderen shut down the relay switches. As the low hum vanished, Will felt her blood pooling to the bottom of her feet.
“Legion reports all aboard.”
“Thank you, Felderen. You’re dismissed.”
The officer paused, perhaps to inquire if she needed anything, then thought better of it. Instead, he gave her a brief nod and left the bay.
A sob hitched in her chest. Hard as ice, it cracked her sternum and tore through her throat, until it finally emerged as a loud, soul wrenching cry. With nothing to break her fall, Will dropped to the metal plated floor and allowed herself to cry. Her skin was on fire and her lungs burned as tears poured from her eyes.
After what seemed like eons, she finally managed to curl herself into a ball, gasping for breath as shudders raced through her. Slowly, the ship vanished around her, leaving her floating on the edge of reality, until Felderen returned to find her semi-conscious and unresponsive.
Chapter Eighteen
Truth
“How long have I been out?”
“Close to two hours.”
“Who brought me here?”
Killjorn hovered in front of her face, but Will was unable to focus. She swiped at her eyes with the heel of her hand.
“Felderen. He was concerned you were having some sort of relapse.” The woman checked her eyesight with a light scope, then moved away. Will could hear her opening and closing panel doors.
“Was it a relapse?”
“No, so relax.”
“Then what’s wrong with me?”
The physician walked back around the bed and stopped where Will could see her. By this time her vision was clearer.
“Physically? Other than your blood pressure skyrocketing into the stratosphere, and you’re dehydrated, nothing. Oh, and then there’s this.” She moved closer as she pointed to Will’s chest, where she poked it gently, twice. Will ran a hand over the area.
“What?”
“It’s your heart. I’ve discovered a fatal flaw in it.”
“How fatal? Serious fatal?”
“Yes. It’s broken.”
Will frowned. “I don’t understand. If it’s broken, then why am I still alive?”
Killjorn gave her an exasperated look. “Good heavens, Willis. Haven’t you ever been in love?”
“Of course I have.”
The physician paused. “No you haven’t.”
“Of course I have!”
Killjorn shook her head. “No. You haven’t. Not like this. Whatever you felt in the past wasn’t love. Not real love. Infatuation, maybe. A crush. A rush of hormones and adrenalin. But not true love. When Vall left, how did it feel?”
The tears were instantly there, blurring the room and the physician’s face again. She opened her mouth to explain, but nothing came out. It took a while for her to compose herself. It took a minute longer before she could sit up without experiencing any dizziness.
“Real? Love?”
“Sometimes referred to as lifelong love. More often known as the love between true mates.”
“Stop making fun of me.”
“Then stop acting like you don’t love Vall.”
“I can’t.” Will stared at her hands. “It’s not possible.”
Killjorn shoved her face into Will’s, until they were nose to nose. “We both know there is no way we can determine when, or even if, we’ll ever fall in love. The kind of love that fills your soul with the purest light, and then drops you into the vast, endless darkness of a black hole. That kind of love is rare, and you and Vall share it. So stop trying to deny it. Stop trying to pretend you’re immune to it. Be happy that you’ve found it.”
Will glared at her. “How can I be happy when all I feel is misery? He’s gone, and the chances of seeing him again are slender.”
“Slender?”
“All right! They’re nil! Your so-called greatest love has been wiped out. And all that’s left is…” She tried to take a deep breath and failed. Her chest hitched again. Another tear streamed down her face. The mere thought of Val was enough to send her back over the edge. His warm arms around her, his mouth tailing kisses down her skin, the gentle whisper of his voice inside her head. “Help me, Killy. What am I going to do?”
“I’m sorry, Willis, but you know there’s nothing I can do. No branch of science or medicine can make the loss any less intense.”
“I still don’t understand why I feel this way about him. I mean, I barely know him.”
“Since time began, no one’s ever figured out that part of it, so don’t feel like a failure.”
“Maybe I became vulnerable because of my injury.”
“Oh, stop that! Quit spouting nonsense. You sound nothing like the Willis Tayte I know who commands a Nion warship.” Grabbing Will’s arm, the physician squeezed it hard enough to get her point across without bruising the new flesh. “Be happy that you found love, when there are millions and billions of people who never have the chance. If this is the real thing, and we both know it is, then love will find a way to get the two of you back together.”
Somehow, Will managed to lift the corners of her mouth. “You say such convincing lies. You always have.”
Killjorn snorted. “What lies?”
“There’s been lots of them. ‘This will only hurt a little.’ ‘It’s only a scratch.’ ‘If you take a deep breath before I—’”
“All right! Guilty!” Killjorn laughed. “But when it comes to this, to love, even though I have never been so blessed, I know I’m right. Be patient. Be strong. He will come back to you.”
Will stared into her earnest face. “Can I add that one to the list?”
“Do whatever you feel is right. You’ve always had great instincts.”
Killjorn released her arm and walked over to the wall lab.
“While you were unconscious, I ran a scan over you. The new skin is grafting beautifully. You should start seeing new hair growth in three more weeks.”
“Gee. And just when I was starting to like the baby smooth feel between my legs.”
Killjorn paused, a small dispenser cup in her hand. “Now that sounds like my captain. How about a dose of merdridalin?”
“How long will it keep me going?”
“Long enough. Be careful, though. When you start to feel like you’re about to crash, pay attention. You won’t get a second warning. Stop and put your feet up. Don’t forget you’re not completely over your skinning until I say you are.”
“Yes, Doctor.”
Will took the cup and downed the liquid in one gulp. Killjorn handed over another cup, this time of water, which Will gratefully accepted. As she slid off the bed and stood, she gave her friend a wan smile.
“Thank you.”
Killjorn smiled back. “All part of the job. Physician, psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, liar…”
Will turned to leave the medical unit when the doctor called out to her.
“You can’t go yet. I told you I had something important to talk to you about. Now that you’re here, you can answer some questions for me.”
“About what?”
“About that little incident where Vall reached through Plymon’s shield and grabbed him by th
e throat.”
Will froze as the image came back to her, as well as the shock she’d felt when she’d seen him do it.
“He actually punched through the Sub-captain’s armor?” Killjorn asked in a softer, almost disbelieving tone.
“Yes. Plymon told you about it, didn’t he?”
“He had no choice. He had to see if his armor was defective. I questioned him quite extensively because I thought he’d imagined it. Or that maybe Vall had grabbed him before the shield went up. But you’re verifying he managed to defy the shield’s boundary?”
“No. Vall didn’t defy it. He didn’t punch at it until he got through. He slid his arm inside like it didn’t exist. Like it was nothing more than light or air.”
“What happened next?”
Will shook her head. “Nothing. Plymon came to my cabin to ask about our orders. He saw Vall was with me, and he became jealous. He grabbed my arm and started berating me for my behavior. Vall stepped in to protect me. He didn’t attack Plymon. He ordered Plymon to let me go. Once he did, Vall released his grip on Plymon’s neck.”
During the explanation, Will noticed how Killjorn’s expression went from curious to surprised.
“Did you say Vall ordered Plymon to let you go?”
Will saw where the question was leading. “Yes, he did. He talks to me mentally. He spoke to Plymon the same way.”
“He communicates with his mind? Why haven’t you told me about this ability?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because of the stress I’ve been under these past few weeks. Maybe it’s because I’m in love for the first time. Maybe it’s because, who the fekk knows!”
She started to pace the floor of the bay as she tried to calm her irritation. Killjorn watched her effort with almost detached indifference.
“Do you realize that, in all of history, no being has ever breached our shields?”
Will nodded numbly.
Killjorn scratched the side of her nose, then walked over to her monitor. “I’m going to do some research. See if there might be a non-scientific explanation for what he does.” She murmured to herself as she fed the information into the ship’s brain. Will heard her mumble the word telepathic at one point. When she was finished, the doctor gave her a little smile.
“Let’s let the ships communicate with each other and with all the bases. See if they can find a clue. Is there anything else I may have missed?”
“Did you know his nipples are heart-shaped?” Will circled one of her breasts with a finger. “I meant the areola.”
Killjorn pursed her lips. “Hmm. No. I missed that entirely.” She uttered an expletive as she typed a few more strokes and sent her report on its way. “It will be interesting to see what information we get back.”
“I need to get up top,” Will told her.
The physician waved her off. “Go. Just remember what I told you about feeling weak.”
Will gave the woman her word and left the medical unit, taking her time to reach the bridge. The corridors were empty of activity, for which she was grateful. Between the blows her body and then her emotions, had taken, she felt less like a warrior and more like a first year cadet. She wanted to believe Killjorn’s prophecy, but she also knew, that even if she and Vall managed to get back together, it wouldn’t work. She was a warship captain. Vall was a civilian. And although they were allowed to have a relationship, Vall would be restricted from staying with her on the ship. He would have to remain at Regency Base, or whatever colony she and he chose to make their home, while she was deployed. What would he do while she was out on a mission? Would that kind of arrangement even work for them? Was their love strong enough to survive long, extended separations?
Lots of couples are faced with the same problem, she tried to tell herself. But she also had to admit that many more couples were torn apart because of the extended absences from each other.
Leaving the tube and entering main control, Will noticed her chair was empty. She didn’t know whether Killjorn had notified them of her coming, or whether it was left empty after she’d gone to see Vall depart, but she was thankful to be able to slide into it without any argument.
“Status, Plymon.”
“Ship’s status is excellent. All repairs have finally been completed.”
“Any word from the Legion?”
“Only that they are on course and on time for Regency Base. Captain Alamet also assured us their passenger is coping well in his new surroundings.”
“Granth, any word from base?”
“No, Captain.”
She glanced out the view screen. “Are we still inside the Blaise Temporum?”
Magnus answered. “Yes, Captain.”
“Set course for the Gar Coreja system.”
“Yes, Captain.”
“Captain?”
“One moment, Plymon. Granth, send a message to Regency Base. Let them know we are on our way to Gar Coreja and the Stella Six asteroid belt. We’ll lie in wait there until we come in contact with another Ben Objurian ship, as per previous orders.”
“And do what?”
She looked over at her Sub-captain. “Capture it and take what prisoners we can. The Regents want us to question the Ben Objure. They want to know why they attacked Precorut after years of keeping their feelers off Regency holdings. They also want us to find out why Vall is so important to them.”
“What if they don’t tell us what we want to know?”
“Then we’ll go after another ship, then another, as many as it takes, until we get the answers we can live with. Magnus, full power. Let’s get this mission over with as soon as possible.”
“Yes, Captain,” the navigator responded.
Will sat back in her chair as the view screen filled with a trillion strings of light. Sooner or later, she had faith she’d find out who or what Vall was. And when she did, she wondered if it would change the way she felt about him.
As she pressed her templed fingers against her lips, the image of the ball of light emanating from Vall’s chest remained on the edge of her consciousness. On one hand, she couldn’t wait to discover the truth about the young man her heart had committed her to. But on the other, she was terrified what the consequences the discovery could bring if the answer was too much to bear.
Chapter Nineteen
Solace
Killjorn knew most of the crew went to the observation deck whenever they needed to clear their minds. Or relax. Or to relieve the growing sense of claustrophobia that many suffered during long missions on a small spaceship. She also liked the observation desk, but when she needed comfort and solace, and peace of mind, she went into the bowels of the vessel. Down where the engines throbbed in their warm, metallic cocoons. Down where a particular man worked, and who would break away from his duty just long enough to hold her, and kiss her, and murmur all the things she wanted to hear, words she needed to hear, without any urging from her.
Down here, amid the soft ambient glow coming from the fuel pods, Killjorn let herself escape in his arms. The engine bay was filled with a constant low hum that was soothing as Balacon slowly rubbed her back.
“What’s bothering you?” he finally asked, his mouth next to her ear so she could hear him over the machinery.
Killjorn lifted her face so she could reply. “How much gossip is floating around about the Captain?”
“Quite a bit. After all, she’s the Captain.”
“Tell me.”
Already, she could feel the tension slipping away. In its place, the growing need to have the head engineer’s body melding into hers began to circulate through her.
“Well, word is Captain Tayte and Sub-captain Plymon are fekk mates.”
“That’s true, but she’s ended the relationship.”
The physician knew Balacon would relay the information throughout the ship. That way, guesses, innuendoes, and half-truths would be replaced with known fact from a reliable source.
“Word is the Captain and the strange man w
ere becoming a pair.”
At the mention of Vall, Killjorn felt her worry return, like a door slamming shut. The engineer also felt the tightness come back, and he hugged her tighter.
“What is wrong, Killy?”
“I can’t divulge what I know, even to you. You know that,” she apologized.
Balacon nodded. He knew and he understood. Although she sometimes thought she divulged more than what she should to him, there were some things she knew she could never reveal to anyone without the proper clearance. And on this ship, there were just two people with that kind of power: the Captain and the Sub-captain.
“But I can tell you that relationship is also over. Vall is being returned to Regency Base by the Legion of Mercy.”
“Then why are you quaking? Why the tears?”
Tears? She didn’t know she was crying until he mentioned them. Pulling away slightly, she glanced up into his strong face, and the tender smile that few people ever witnessed. Balacon wiped her wet cheeks with one hand.
Why am I crying? Because I know this isn’t over. Vall may be gone, but he’ll be back. He’ll come back for Willis because there is a power inside him, or a being, or something so rare and unknown that few have ever faced one. And that creature, or being, or whatever it is inhabiting him, needs Willis. He needs her because, without her, that power can overcome him. It will make him do things that would ultimately make him suffer. In the end, it could destroy him…if he doesn’t have her with him.
The engineer’s hand traveled down the side of her neck, across the insignia that identified her rank and position. The tips of his fingers playfully strummed the black marks before disappearing under the uniform’s fabric. Killjorn sighed from the sweet sensations streaming through her body.
She had spent hours pouring over the physical data the ship had gathered on the young man. And the more she viewed, the more she heard, the more she learned, and the more she found, the more alarmed she became. The pieces slowly cohered until there was no denying what she’d discovered. It all made sense now. It all made terrifying sense.
There is nothing I can say or do to stop Willis from ever seeing him again. I don’t know if he has some kind of magical hold on her, or whether this actually is love. But if it’s real love, like I told Willis, then it’s the kind that will last for eons. Unbendable, unbreakable, and undeniable to all who see it.
