Tanner followed right behind her. When he reached for the light switch, she halted him. Moonlight streamed into the window, making any artificial light unnecessary.
“You are so beautiful,” Tanner whispered softly as he once again gathered her into his arms. His hands splayed across her bare shoulders as he crushed her to him.
She pulled away from him enough so she could get her hands between them. She fumbled at his shirt buttons, wanting to feel his warm expanse of broad chest beneath her fingertips.
He helped her, starting at the bottom of his shirt while she worked down from the top. When the buttons were all unfastened, he pulled it off, then swept her up in his arms and set her on the bed.
He joined her there, murmuring sweet, nonsensical words as he gathered her into his arms. When he crashed his lips back to hers, she opened her mouth eagerly. She was lost…lost to his kiss, the warmth of his skin, the slightly rough touch of his callused hands.
It didn’t matter that there was no future with him. She wasn’t interested in the future. She wanted only now with him. She could live the rest of her life just fine alone.
Tanner had never felt skin so smooth, so silky, and he loved the sweet, gasping sounds Colette made as he stroked down her throat, over her collarbones and across the top of her lace-covered breasts.
Her hands gripped his back as he continued his exploration of her skin, nipping at her neck with his mouth and raking his fingers across the provocative swell of her breasts.
He was enflamed with his need for her, the need to take complete possession of her body, mind and soul. With the moonlight streaking in the window, her features were bathed in a silvery glow, transforming her into a beauty that touched him to his core.
Her eyes were glazed enough that he knew she was no longer thinking, but had gone to that place where the world was made of nothing but physical sensation.
He knew that if he removed her slip, took off her bra and feasted on her naked breasts, he would be lost to that same place.
But for some reason he couldn’t get out of his mind her statement that she didn’t have meaningless affairs. Wasn’t that just what they would be doing if he made love to her now? Indulging in a meaningless affair that he knew she would regret the moment they were finished.
He tried to shut off the loud voice of his irritating conscience, fought to get past it and lose himself in her completely. But he couldn’t.
With this realization, despite his desire to the contrary, his passion ebbed. As crazy as it sounded, he liked Colette far too well to make love to her.
“Colette.”
He whispered her name softly, then stroked a finger down the side of her face. She turned her cheek toward his touch, like a cat seeking a gentle caress.
“If we keep this up, you’re going to hate me in the morning,” he said.
The glaze that had darkened her eyes faded and she looked at him uncertainly. “Wha-what?”
He smiled, hoping that in calling a halt to their lovemaking he wasn’t hurting her more than if they’d continued.
He took one of her hands in his and pulled her up to a sitting position. “As much as I’d love to make love to you, I’m not at all sure that this is the best thing for us to do.”
Even in the silvery shadows of the room, he could see the fiery blush that stole over her features. “I…I can’t imagine what I was thinking,” she exclaimed. She scrambled off the bed and grabbed her dress.
“Darlin’, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. We both just got a little carried away, that’s all,” he said as he also got off the bed.
“I can’t imagine what possessed me,” she muttered as she stepped into her dress and pulled it up. Her cheeks were still a gorgeous scarlet as she raked a hand through her short curly hair and refused to look at him.
“I was certainly doing my damnedest to possess you,” he said teasingly. No responding smile curved her lips.
He walked over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. “I know this is awkward, Colette,” he said gently. “But I figured it would be more awkward if things continued.”
“You’re absolutely right,” she replied. “Thank you for returning me to my senses.”
He smiled at her and reached behind her to pull up her dress zipper. “I’d like to say it was my pleasure, but my pleasure would have been better satisfied if my conscience hadn’t kicked in.”
He dropped his arms from around her and picked up his shirt from the floor. “And now I really would love a cup of coffee.”
He could tell that she’d much prefer he exit her apartment as soon as possible. But he had a feeling if he left immediately, for as long as he was in town this night would stand between them. “I promise, a quick cup of coffee and I’ll get out of here.”
She nodded and together they left her bedroom and went into the kitchen. Tanner sat at the table while she fixed the coffee, an uncomfortable silence growing between them.
When the fragrant brew had begun to fill the glass carafe, she turned to face him. “I don’t suppose you would believe me if I said I normally don’t do things like this.” Her gaze didn’t quite meet his.
“I believe that, Colette.” And he was surprised to realize he did believe it. In the space of the past few days he’d come to recognize that Colette wasn’t the wild city girl he’d feared she might be.
She turned back toward the cabinets and pulled down two cups and saucers. His hunger for her reared up again and he was almost sorry the gentleman streak had kicked in.
But the moment had been lost and all she was offering him now was a cup of fresh-brewed coffee. She didn’t look at him as she placed his cup before him, then sat at the opposite end of the table with her own cup.
He frowned, unsure how to break the shell of tension that had descended around them. He wanted to see her smile again, wanted to see the flash of her delightful dimple in her cheek. He wanted anything but the tense silence that had grown between them.
“I’ve suffered worse embarrassment than this,” he finally said.
She looked at him, a spark of curiosity in her eyes. “What?” She picked up her coffee cup and took a sip.
“Jenny Marie Malcom was the prettiest girl in the sixth grade and I had a horrible crush on her. One day at lunch she was talking about how she thought bullfighters were so cool, so I invited her out to our ranch one afternoon and decided to fight the bull we had.”
Colette set her cup down, her eyes sparkling more brightly now. “Wasn’t that a dangerous thing to do?”
“Ah, an eleven-year-old boy knows no fear when it comes to matters of the heart.” He leaned back in the chair, enjoying the look of expectancy on Colette’s face. “That afternoon Jenny showed up with several of her girlfriends, and we all went out to the pasture where the bull was kept.”
“Did you have a red cape?”
“Nope…my father’s red long underwear.” He was rewarded by her laughter, and his desire for her once again flared to the surface. “Anyway, I got out in the pasture, with Jenny and her friends hanging on the fence, and I waved that underwear at that snorting mass of rage and muscle.”
“And what happened?” she asked, leaning forward slightly, all self-consciousness gone.
“That bull charged me and I turned tail and ran, but I couldn’t outrun him and somehow he got his horns in the seat of my pants and ripped them right off me. There I was, buck naked in front of the love of my life.”
Colette clapped a hand over her mouth, but a giggle escaped her. “You’re making that up,” she accused.
He held up his hand. “Boy Scout’s honor. Not only did I suffer complete and total humiliation in front of the girl I loved, but my dad grounded me for two weeks, told me he couldn’t believe he’d raised a son dumber than a post.”
They were still laughing a moment later when Gina arrived home. She paused in the doorway of the kitchen. “Looks like the two of you are having fun,” she exclaimed.
“Your brother has been telling me about his bull-fighting days,” Colette said.
Gina rolled her eyes and joined them at the table. “I’ve heard that story a hundred times. Jenny is a hairdresser in Foxrun’s only beauty shop, and she loves to tell it to her customers.”
Tanner leaned back in his chair once again, noticing that now that Gina had arrived home, Colette seemed more relaxed and less on edge. “It would have never worked between Jenny and me,” he said. “I could never be happy with a woman who took pleasure in telling others about my humiliation.”
“How was your evening?” Colette asked Gina.
Gina smiled, her eyes lighting with obvious pleasure. “It was wonderful. Danny’s father is funny, and his mother is so warm and loving. His brothers and sisters are a hoot, and dinner was a wonderful, chaotic madhouse.”
As Tanner listened to Gina enthusiastically sharing the events of her evening with Danny’s family, he couldn’t help but grieve over the fact that he hadn’t been able to provide her with the same kind of family background.
“They’re a wonderful family,” Gina said. “And it’s obvious they all love each other very much.”
“I’m glad you had a good time,” Tanner said, shoving aside the guilt he felt over something he’d had no control over.
“So, what did you two do this evening?” she asked.
Instantly Colette’s cheeks brightened with guilty color. “Nothing,” she said forcefully. “I mean, we ate at Antonio’s, then came here and had coffee.”
Gina looked at her for a long moment, then turned and looked at her brother suspiciously. “So, was it good?”
“Was what good?” Colette asked, her voice a full octave higher as the color in her cheeks deepened. She looks guilty as hell, Tanner thought with an indulgent amusement.
“The food at Antonio’s,” Gina replied, then shook her head. “What did you think I was talking about?”
“I don’t know…I think I’m overtired,” Colette replied. “And the food was wonderful.” She stood and carried her coffee cup and saucer to the sink. “And now I think I’m going to call it a night. Thank you, Tanner, for a lovely dinner.”
“Trust me, the pleasure was all mine,” he replied, and was rewarded with a new blush stealing over her features. She murmured a good-night and left the kitchen.
Instantly Tanner was granted a mental image of her sliding between her sheets, her naked body gleaming in the moonlight.
He shook his head to dispel the vision and tried to focus on Gina, who was talking about her evening once again, her face glowing with her joy.
For the first time since he’d arrived in Kansas City, he wondered if he was doing the right thing in trying to get Gina to return to the ranch.
Of course you are, a small voice scoffed inside his head. Leaving Gina here didn’t necessarily mean she could claim Danny’s family as her own. Besides, he didn’t want her doing that. She was far too young to tie herself down to any one man. She needed to be back at the ranch to finish her education. She needed to be back at the ranch with him.
As he once again thought of Colette, he realized that for the past couple of days he’d lost his focus. He’d somehow become involved in Colette instead of Gina. He’d been in Kansas City for an entire week and was no closer to getting Gina to come home.
He’d been distracted by Colette’s flashing dimple, her sexy curves and her melodic laughter. But it was time for him to get back to the ranch, time to put Colette’s charms behind him and focus on his reason for being in Kansas City.
Chapter Eight
Colette couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so mortified. But along with her embarrassment was an intense relief that at least one of them had shown some sense.
Tanner had been right. If they had made love she would have regretted it immediately afterward. Still, as she snuggled into her bed, her body still tingled and felt overly warm from his caresses. Her mouth still hungered for his.
He would have been a wonderful lover. She was certain about that. He would have swept her completely out of this world with his passion and tenderness.
However, if that had happened, it would only have made it more difficult to tell him goodbye. And eventually she would have to tell him goodbye. He had a life of his own, and his reasons for being in Kansas City had nothing to do with her.
Besides, she had no intention of becoming weak and dependent on any man. She had no intention of falling in love…ever.
She rolled over on her back and placed her hand on her tummy. Here was another reason not to make love with Tanner. If they had made love, and if she wasn’t pregnant now, she could have gotten pregnant by Tanner.
She closed her eyes, trying to imagine what Tanner’s and her child would look like. Her mind filled with a vision of a little boy and a little girl with dark hair and big brown eyes.
They would be beautiful children, and Tanner would make a wonderful father. She’d seen his love for Gina and knew his heart would embrace his children. But she wasn’t the woman to give him those children, and she knew without doubt that Tanner would heartily disapprove of her choice to be artificially inseminated.
She fell asleep and dreamed of Tanner and awakened the next morning with a hollow ache inside her and the knowledge that Tanner was a definite threat to her emotions. It was time she gained some distance from him.
Over the next several days she didn’t have to worry about distancing herself from him. Apparently, he had the same idea. Although she learned from Gina that she had lunch each day with her brother before coming into work, Tanner himself stayed away from the store.
Colette was kept busy. The weather was perfect and business boomed. She had planned a grand opening of sorts that Friday to show off the new kiddie area in the back of the store. Mike had promised her the work would be completed by Thursday evening, and he was as good as his promise.
It was just before seven when she closed down the shop. She’d sent Gina home earlier, wanting some time to arrange the little picnic tables and benches and set out the books and puzzles she’d bought for the children’s entertainment.
She’d ordered cookies and pastries from Johnny’s Café to be picked up in the morning, and a 20-percent-off-anything-in-the-store coupon had run in the local papers that day, good for the opening the next day.
There was only one thing she wanted to do before she began arranging everything for the following day. Sitting down at the register counter, she picked up the phone and punched in her mother’s phone number.
She had left two messages in the past two days on Lillian’s machine, telling her about the grand opening and how she would love to have her mother attend. So far, she hadn’t heard from Lillian.
She sat up straighter as she heard her mother answer. “Lillian,” she said in greeting.
“Oh, it’s you. I was expecting a call from Joe. We had a little tiff and he drove off a few minutes ago.”
“Are you all right?” Colette asked worriedly, knowing how her mother tended to fall apart when there was stress with the man in her life.
“I’m fine. It was just a silly little fight, and I’m sure he’ll be calling or coming back any moment. Now, why are you calling?”
“Did you get my messages about my celebration at the store tomorrow?”
“Oh, yes, but honestly, Colette, why would I want to come to a celebration in a baby store?”
Because it’s my store, Colette’s heart cried out. Because I’m your daughter and you’re proud of me. Bitter tears sprang to her eyes despite her determination not to cry. “I just thought you might like to stop by, maybe have a quick cup of coffee and a cookie with me.”
“You know that sort of thing isn’t my style,” Lillian replied, then added, “but I hope you have a nice day. Oh, my other line is ringing, maybe that’s Joe.”
“Then I’ll just say goodbye now,” Colette said before realizing her mother had already clicked over to answer the other call.
Slowly Colette hung up the receiver and cursed herself when tears began seeping from her eyes. Why did she continue to be disappointed by Lillian? Why did she continue to want more, need more than Lillian could give…had ever been able to give?
The tears turned to sobs, and she vowed this was the last time Lillian would ever make her cry. But this latest disappointment felt like the demise of a fantasy she’d entertained for far too long…and fantasies were always difficult to let go of.
She’d never felt so alone. She’d wanted to share her success, but she realized now she had nobody to share it with. She’d wanted her mother to see the store in full swing, filled with customers and children, but she should have known that Lillian had never much cared about what Colette was doing with her life.
A knock on the shop door shot her up to a standing position. Tanner stood outside. He waved, indicating he saw her and she hastily swiped at her tears. He was probably here to walk Gina home, not knowing that Colette had sent the young woman home early.
The smile on Tanner’s face faded as she unlocked the door and opened it. “Gina isn’t here,” Colette said. “I sent her home early today.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked, and stepped into the shop.
“Nothing,” she denied quickly. “Nothing is wrong.”
He placed his hands on her shoulders, his beautiful blue eyes filled with tenderness. “You’ve been crying.”
“No…I just…you know…allergies in the Midwest.” She tried to twist away from him, but he held her shoulders tight.
“Colette.” His voice was so gentle it acted as a catalyst and more tears sprang to her eyes. “Talk to me, sweetie. What’s made you so sad?”
“Please…it’s nothing,” she said, and succeeded in breaking away from him.
“‘Nothing’ doesn’t make tears,” he replied softly. “Talk to me, honey. Tell me what’s going on.” He reached for her once again, and this time she went into his embrace and hid her face in his chest.
What If I'm Pregnant...? Page 9
