“I’m sorry.”
He shook his head, returning to his story rather than dwelling on his memories. “I didn’t know this at the time, but Shawna stayed in town for a while, then went to live with her brother in Florida. That’s where my daughter Brittany grew up.”
Kate watched him, her expression unreadable, her eyes wide and dark in the night. “What are your plans now? Are you getting back together with Shawna?”
Kate held her breath as Luke frowned. Her question had seemed reasonable. He’d cared enough about Shawna to make a baby with her. Maybe he wanted another chance.
Maybe I’m a fool to care, Kate told herself.
“Shawna? No, I thought I mentioned…Shawna died in a car accident last year.”
Kate hadn’t expected that, hadn’t braced herself for anything so serious. “Oh, poor Brittany.”
“Yeah, but she seems to be doing okay, considering.”
Kate wasn’t sure how his personal life affected her, but he’d wanted to talk, and now she was caught up in the story. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m bringing Brittany to Texas to live with me. Her uncle, who she’s been living with, contacted me. He’s taken a job as a long-haul trucker. He can’t keep her with him, and she doesn’t have any other family. I’m all she’s got, and really, I’m glad. I want to claim her as my daughter.”
That was admirable. Many men—Ed for instance—would have insisted on paternity tests first and tried their best to get out of responsibility for an eight-year-old. “This will really change your life.”
“Exactly!” he said, straightening and, in the process, moving a little closer. She didn’t want him closer. She didn’t want to get any ridiculous notion that he’d asked her out to talk about something…personal.
“I’ve never thought about children much. I’ve never been around them, since I’m an only child and most of my friends are single. Well, except for Hank, but he and Gwendolyn just have a baby. Not the same, really, as an eight-year-old.”
“No, not at all.”
“So I’m going to need some help. I have to get ready for Brittany. Plus I have to get approved by social services.”
“That’s understandable, especially since you don’t have an ongoing relationship with her.”
“I met her last week. I flew down to Florida before I brought the animals to the school.”
“And how did that go?”
“As well as could be expected. We were both kind of reserved, I suppose. I’d say she’s shy, though, rather than resistant to the idea of living with me.”
“And how would she describe you?”
Luke looked at her a moment, then smiled. “See, that’s exactly why I need your help.”
Kate knew her surprise showed on her face. “My help? What…what are you talking about?”
Chapter Seven
Luke’s smile faded. “Like I said a while ago, I’m going to need help.”
Kate tried not to sputter. “I thought you meant from a professional. Like a lawyer or a social worker.”
“No, I’m not worried about that. I need to learn how to be a dad, how to make my house a home. I need to understand Brittany and know what to expect from her.”
“Luke, I’m a schoolteacher, not a counselor! I’m not qualified to help you.”
“Of course you are. You’re perfect.”
“Hardly,” she scoffed.
“Perfect to help me understand how to make an eight-year-old happy.”
“I’m just beginning my teaching career. Right now I’m only a substitute. I’m doing good to make them behave, much less be happy.”
Luke shook his head. “You’re great with kids. I saw it yesterday. You know all about them, like when I asked about bedtime, and you explained being consistent.”
“That’s common sense.”
“No, you’re just used to thinking that way. Believe me, it’s not common to have insight into kids. I really don’t have a clue, Kate.” He put his coffee mug on the railing, then captured her hands before she could step away. “You’re my best hope, my only hope, to make this new relationship with Brittany work.”
She ignored the shock of the sudden contact, the warmth of his hands on hers and the feel of his calluses as he held her firm. She ignored all those feelings because he wasn’t holding her hands for the right reasons. He hadn’t looked into her eyes because he couldn’t stop himself, because he wanted her enough to defy her brother and maybe even his own convictions about not getting involved.
No, that’s not why he was here with her, and the knowledge hurt more than it should have. More than was wise or even sane.
Right now, though, she needed to focus on his question. On his insistence that she could help him. “No, Luke, I’m not qualified. You don’t know this, but I have a terrible relationship with my own father. And I was too blind to Ed’s inadequacies to know what was going on in my life. That’s not a great track record. I’m not the right person.”
“Yes, you are. I need you, Kate.” He stepped close enough for her to see the glistening depths of his dark eyes, the clear tan of his skin, and smell his crisp, sea-fresh aftershave mixed with the coffee he’d finished moments ago. “Your relationship with your father doesn’t matter to me. Your husband was a jerk. I know you’re a good parent, a good person. Please,” he finished softly.
Kate felt her panic grow. “Luke, I’m struggling myself. I’m trying to start over and barely making ends meet with substitute teaching.”
“I’ll pay you enough that you won’t have to substitute. Twice what you’d make teaching, if that would help.”
She felt herself gape, then blinked and pulled her hands from his. “I thought you needed a favor.”
“You mean you thought I’d expect you to do this for free?”
That’s exactly what she’d thought. That he was appealing to her as a friend and neighbor. Not that he wanted to hire her to rearrange his life. Apparently she’d been wrong about a lot of things tonight.
“I’m sorry, Kate. I’m not doing a very good job explaining all this, am I?”
Of course he didn’t think of her as a friend. They barely knew each other.
She almost laughed. Here she’d been concerned that this dinner…engagement might turn into a date, and in reality, it was a job interview! “No, I’m sure I just misunderstood.”
“Look, I’m not accustomed to telling other people my business, much less asking them for help. But this is so important. Brittany is so important.”
“There are other people more qualified than me.”
He shook his head. “No one that I trust as much as I trust you. Like I said, you’re perfect. You’re a mother, you’re a trained professional teacher and you have style. Class. That’s something I don’t understand, Kate. I grew up poor with a single mother. She taught me about animals and working and taking care of myself. I don’t know how to be a father to a little girl.”
“Oh, Luke…”
“If you don’t want to do it for me, then think of Brittany. She needs me to be her father. I need you to make me into the best father I can be.”
Kate closed her eyes against his entreaty. How could she say no? How could she ignore his very real plight?
She opened her eyes and looked up into his worried expression. “When is Brittany coming to live with you?”
“That’s the problem. We have two weeks.”
“Two weeks!”
“Yes, we’d better get busy tomorrow. When can you come over?”
AFTER PROMISING Luke she’d call him the next day to set up a schedule, then getting Eddie in bed, Kate flopped on the couch and stared at the dark TV. Of all the things she’d imagined—or been afraid to imagine—about this nondate tonight, Luke’s confession that he had a daughter wasn’t even on the radar. She’d been a fool to get excited about being asked out by a handsome, exciting and—now she realized after computing his age based on Brittany’s conception—younger man. At the most,
thirty years old to her own thirty-two. Not a huge age difference, but surprising. His quiet, commanding presence made her assume he was older.
She’d always felt very mature, very centered, until her own world had turned upside down. Luke apparently had been going along, unaware that he’d fathered a child. She and Luke were so different, but they’d both been through something momentous.
That didn’t mean she should get involved in his life.
She was confused because of his announcement and angry at herself for thinking, just for a moment, beyond all good sense, that he might find her attractive. Womanly. This dinner and dessert had been a job interview, pure and simple.
She had no idea whether he’d be a good father or not, whether he could or would be approved by the proper social-services agencies or lawyers or whatever. She wasn’t even sure she should get involved, even if she could help, which he seemed convinced she could.
She hugged one of the sofa pillows to her chest. How in the world could she succeed when she had so many doubts?
As much double-thinking as she’d done since his announcement, she kept thinking of his little girl, who’d lost the only parent she knew, who lived with her uncle who now had to give her up. Brittany didn’t know Luke except for that one brief trip he’d made to Florida earlier this week. How was that poor little girl feeling, knowing she would go to live with a father she didn’t know, in a new place with none of her friends?
Even so many years after Kate had done her student teaching, she remembered a little girl, about the same age as Brittany, who’d been uprooted from her home. She was quiet and shy, as Luke had said Brittany was, and she didn’t interact with the other children. In turn, they’d teased her and talked about her, making her life miserable. When Kate and her supervising teacher had talked to the harried mother, they’d been told she was doing the best she could to cope. She was estranged from her own family. Her husband had left her and the children—something Kate could now identify with—and her in-laws sided with him, telling her she could leave the kids with them but they wouldn’t support her. She was barely making a living on minimum wage. The children suffered from so much, but most of all, losing all the family they’d ever known.
Brittany would feel the same, Kate knew. She’d go to school at Ranger Springs Elementary with a different accent, different clothes and a new father she, not to mention the rest of the community, barely knew. The children in her class wouldn’t intend to be cruel, but that would be the result. Brittany would be lost, alone and sad.
Unless Kate did something to help.
She’d have to work closely with Luke, day in and day out. She’d look into his thickly lashed dark eyes, and her attention would be diverted every time he spoke in his rich, deep voice. How could she get anything accomplished when he made her so flustered?
She couldn’t. She’d simply have to become immune to his looks and personality. Now that she knew he wasn’t attracted to her, she could be sensible. Couldn’t she?
She sighed, gave the pillow one more hug, then tossed it across the room. How in the world would she convince herself that Luke was simply a father who needed her help?
EARLY THE NEXT MORNING, Luke stood in the midst of the chaos of his living room, taking in the smells of drywall and joint compound, freshly cut pine boards and primer. He was just about to make a fresh pot of coffee when he heard gravel crunching on the drive outside, accompanied by the purr of an engine. He walked to the front window and looked out to see a familiar metallic blue dualie parked next to his white pickup.
“Hey, Hank,” he said a moment later as his friend walked into the room.
“Quite a mess.”
“It doesn’t look like anything will be ready in another week, but the remodeler promised it would, and I’ve written a performance clause into the contract.”
“Good idea, since you’re in such a hurry.”
“Nothing is going to keep me from being ready for inspection. And nothing is going to make me disappoint my daughter.”
“You’ve got a long way to go.”
“Yeah, I know it. Come on. I’ll show you the rest.” He preceded Hank down the darkened hall—the new overhead lights and sconces weren’t in yet—and into the bedroom Brittany would occupy.
“I don’t know what she’ll like, but she has a big stuffed animal collection.” He thought maybe she’d like a circus or a zoo theme for the room, but wasn’t about to run that by Hank. “I was in a wealthy producer’s home once and saw the kids’ bedrooms. The boy’s was done as a speedway, with the rear end of a car as the bed and a racetrack upside down on the ceiling. The little girl’s was all pink and black Paris and poodles, with fancy furniture and fluffy feather boas. I’d like something like that for Brittany.” He sensed she should be involved in the process, so maybe he did have some instincts, as Kate suggested last night.
“That’s pretty fancy.”
“Yeah, I don’t know if it’s possible. I just want her to feel welcome, you know?”
“Sure. But really, she’s going to be glad to be here, don’t you think?”
Luke shrugged. “I don’t know. She doesn’t know me…except for that one visit and my phone calls. And she’s never been to Texas before.”
“So is Kate helping out?”
“She said she would.” Luke shook his head. “She thought I wanted her to do it as a favor. Can you believe that?”
“Well…yeah.”
Luke frowned. “Why?”
“Because that’s what neighbors do.”
“This is a lot of work. I’d never ask someone to do this for nothing.”
“She probably thought you were asking as a friend.”
“We aren’t that friendly.”
“I thought maybe you were dating.”
“What? Where did you get that idea?”
“From what I hear around town. Taking your animals to her school. Taking her out to dinner. And all that after saving her little boy from your rampaging zebras.”
Luke scowled. “My zebras weren’t rampaging. And Kate and I aren’t dating.”
“So you were just being friendly?”
Luke turned away. No, he’d been calculating. He’d needed Kate and he’d done what he had to do to make himself appear better so she’d help him. If folks knew, he’d look pretty bad, but he’d live with that.
If Kate thought about how he’d gotten closer to her, she might think him devious. Contemplating his situation made his head hurt more than worrying about getting his house completed on time.
“I’ve been friendly, but not romantic. I never did anything to make her believe I was coming on to her.”
“Well, that’s good,” Hank said with a smile.
“I just needed her to help me get ready for my daughter.”
“Whatever you say.”
“I don’t have time for anything else.”
“Sometimes you get interested in somebody at the worst possible time, not when it’s convenient.”
“And you can keep from getting interested if you stay on task.”
Hank grinned and shook his head. “I hope that works for you.”
It had so far, but now wasn’t the time to test his theory, though he had a suspicion it might be tried before the next few weeks were over.
“Look, Kate is so damn smart—everything I’m not when it comes to kids.”
“Trust your instincts. You might not have formal training, but believe me, in a few months, you’ll feel like a seasoned pro. You’ll be a great dad.”
“I’m not so sure about that.” Up until now, he’d never missed going to college or having a white-collar profession. He’d worked hard with his hands and his brain, using his talent to get ahead in Hollywood. Although he’d never done anything tremendously important—except maybe to a group of misfit animals who now called the Last Chance Ranch their home—he didn’t feel bad about his life, either.
Having a child changed all that. When he’d seen her photo
and read that letter, he’d known his life would never be the same. The reality was just now sinking in, and along with it, fear. Gut-wrenching, bone-deep fear that he wouldn’t be a good father. That he’d mess up Brittany’s life forever. She didn’t know him; she had no reason to trust him. What if he was such a huge disappointment that she’d never get over losing her mother, her uncle and the only home she’d known?
God, he couldn’t screw this up. He had to get approved by the court. And most of all, he had to find a way to become the kind of dad Brittany would respect…and maybe someday grow to love.
“Just wait and see.” Hank turned and walked back down the hall toward the front door. “And keep me updated on how your plan to avoid gettin’ too friendly with Kate is going.”
ON SUNDAY MORNING, while Eddie watched TV, Kate picked up the phone for the third time and dialed Luke’s number. This time she dialed all seven digits and didn’t hang up before the call went through. This time she was really going to make arrangements to go over.
He answered on the fourth ring, his voice breathless.
“Luke?”
“Hi, Kate.”
“Did I catch you at a bad time?” she asked, not sure she wanted the answer.
“I was in the paddock. I ran for the phone out here in the barn.”
“I…I wondered when you wanted me to come over.” She’d barely slept because she’d been thinking so much about what he needed. Not as a man, but as a father.
“Anytime.” She detected the anxious quality of his voice even over his deep breathing and the sounds of animals in the background.
“I can’t stop thinking about Brittany. About how concerned you are about her moving here.”
“I’m more than concerned. I’m worried sick. That’s why I need you, Kate.”
She closed her eyes against his admission. She knew instinctively that Luke wasn’t the kind of man who revealed much about his feelings or his fears. She felt closer to him for the trust he’d placed in her.
“I don’t know if I’m exactly who or what you need, Luke, but I can’t ignore the plight of your daughter. I’ll do whatever I can to help you make your house into a home.”
Daddy Lessons Page 8
