"Why not?" Aaron said. "He'll never know, and when we're annoyed at him after contests we can yell at the rat instead."
The image of us clustered around the rat, insulting its parentage and intelligence, made me laugh. "Okay, fine," I said, still not keen but knowing it wouldn't hurt Kent anyhow. "Call it Kent if you want."
Jim and Aaron began searching for the rat, and exhaustion swept me. "I'm going to lie down," I said. "I'm beat." All but Jim and Aaron joined me, and they followed a few minutes later when rodent Kent was nowhere to be found. The heat of the day was a fraction less in the shelter's shade, and we were all soon half-asleep.
"We're going to win this thing, no problem," Greg said through a yawn, then added, "His exes really are pretty hot, though," to heart-felt agreement.
Sam, who'd again claimed the spot next to me, looked over. "Don't roll your eyes, MC. They're hot. Fact of life."
"Guess he's luckier than I am, then."
Someone threw a balled-up piece of leaf at me. I threw it back.
"You're hot too, MC," Aaron offered. "I like that skirt. A little shorter than you usually wear, but it works for you."
"It's got shorts built into it. The only shorts I have here."
Aaron sighed. "I was hoping I might catch a peek. Ruin my fantasy, why don't you?"
I laughed but couldn't think of anything to say. Silence fell, and I fluffed up my pillow then snuggled down into it. The warmth of the air and the slight cooling of the gentle breeze, combined with the previous night's sleep deprivation, took over and my eyes drifted closed.
Later, woken by hunger pains, I got up, leaving seven snoring men behind. After I stirred up the fire and settled a pot of water at the edge the way Michael had shown me, I wandered down to the shore, savoring the silence of the camp and resolutely not looking at the cameras, then waded out until the waves, cool but not icy, lapped at my ankles. Time to swim.
I changed at the latrine then looked down at myself, at much more of myself than I'd expected to see. My bikini was even tinier than I remembered it being in the store, and a much brighter red, but it was all I had. Telling myself to be brave, I returned to camp, poured rice into the now-boiling water, and walked into the ocean.
Once the initial shock of cold wore off, it was bliss. I scrubbed myself with sand until I felt a little cleaner then paddled around. A swimmer I wasn't, but I could at least stay afloat. The water cuddled me, relaxing and soothing, and some of my stress washed away.
When I thought the rice might need attention, I swam back to shore. After checking the bubbling pot, I settled down on my rock, closing my eyes and tipping my face up to the sun.
"Hey, baby."
Startled, I opened my eyes to see Aaron, his eyes full of approval, looking down at me. "Come swim with me."
"I already did."
"Not with me." His tone promised much more than a friendly swim.
"I have to watch the rice."
His gaze swept my body then returned to my face as he said, his voice low and dangerously seductive, "It'll be fun."
No doubt. Aaron's playfulness had extended to the bedroom, and I'd thoroughly enjoyed our time there. And in his living room. And mine. And, on one memorable occasion, my kitchen. But then he'd disappeared.
"First, tell me something."
He sat down beside me. "That sounds frighteningly like 'We have to talk.'."
"Well, maybe we do." One of the camera men took a step forward, lens focused on me. I nearly backed down, but I did want the answer and they probably wouldn't broadcast it. I decided to take the risk. Not much risk, really, but more than I'd usually take. "I want to know why you stopped calling me. I thought we were getting along pretty well."
He studied me, his expression serious, until I wanted to take back the question. Then his eyes sparkled and he said, "Why don't we forget that and start over?"
"Because I'm not a complete moron," I said, sure now he hadn't been bored with me as I'd assumed. "Tell me why."
He shrugged. "You wanted commitment, and I don't."
I frowned. "I didn't."
"MC, come on. Let's face it, I've had more than a few women wanting me to settle down with them. I know it when I see it."
I had liked him, but I hadn't even considered trying to get him to marry me. He was so open and uninhibited, and while I'd enjoyed visiting that place with him I'd never have been able to live there. "Well, this time you were wrong."
He blinked. "I guess that does explain..."
"Explain what?" I said when he didn't finish the thought.
"Usually when I stop calling a woman she calls me. You never did."
"I wasn't going to beg you."
He gave me a slow smile that reminded me of the kitchen incident and raised my temperature several degrees, and I said, "Beg you to see me, I mean."
"I think I made a mistake." He shifted on his rock, moving closer, and his eyes narrowed. "You really didn't want me to commit?"
I shook my head.
"Definitely made a mistake, then."
He moved even closer, our eyes locked, and heat shot through me again.
"The rice is burning," Dean said behind us. His tone said he'd been there a while and he hadn't liked what he'd heard.
I jumped up and pulled the pan from the fire. Not burned, but close, the rice forming a solid mass of golden brown in the bottom of the pan.
To Dean's obvious annoyance and Aaron's even more obvious amusement, the rice was the best we'd had. It came out of the pot in one piece, which we sawed into wedges with a knife from the treasure chest, and it had a toasted taste and appealing chewy texture.
"You'll make it again, right?" Jim said. "You know how?"
Sure. I'd let Aaron flirt some more. "I'll figure it out."
Dean only ate a bit before saying, "I'm going exploring. I'll be back in an hour or two."
Most of the guys didn't bother to respond, but Jim said, "Want company?"
"No, I'm good, thanks." Dean got to his feet and walked away, a camera man behind him.
If we broke into more than two groups, how would the camera crew react? Maybe that was a way for me to escape being filmed. No, they'd probably follow me and leave the guys alone, not the other way around, and what good would that do me?
When we'd finished eating, Jim said, "I'm going swimming. Anyone care to join me?"
We all did, so I waited at the fire, eyes shut as they ordered, while they put on their suits.
"Why don't you guys leave camp to change the way I do?"
"There's only one of you and six men," Jim began, and I put in, "Seven, with Dean."
"No, he was right the first time," Aaron said, laughing. I shook my head and said, "Don't be a jerk," wishing my eyes were open so I could glare at him.
"Anyhow," Jim went on, "so it's better for you to be inconvenienced than all of us."
Well, thank you very much.
"You're welcome to change in camp. I promise we won't peek."
"I'm not as dumb as you look, Aaron."
"Don't you trust me?"
Ignoring his mock wounded tone, I said, "Barely half as far as I could throw you."
"That sounds about right," Phillip said behind me, startling me into opening my eyes.
"You nearly violated my modesty, MC." Aaron tied the strings at the waist of his shorts.
"You don't know the meaning of the word," I said as we headed down to the shore. He didn't respond until we'd waded out knee-deep, when he responded by kicking an enormous wave of water at me. I gasped at the cold and tried to splash him back but drenched Sam instead, who scooped me up and tossed me into the deeper water like I weighed nothing.
I came up giggling and went after him, only to be thwarted by Greg and Jim grabbing my ankles, and from then on we laughed and swam and fooled around. Only Michael kept his distance, laughing with the rest but not touching me or even looking at me.
Eventually I got tired of being mauled and put up onto shoulders and tumbled
into the water, so I was the first to head for shore. Sam left immediately after me, making me wonder if he'd been waiting for me to go, and we sat together in the sand.
"You doing all right?"
"Getting used to it."
"Good girl," he said, brushing my wet hair back from my cheek. His touch, soft and sweet, triggered one of my few memories of my mother, the day I'd eaten too many malted milk candies and she'd smoothed my hair over and over as I threw up.
Aaron dropped down on my other side. "You okay, baby? Need anything?"
"Five-star hotel room?"
"I meant something I could actually give you."
I locked eyes with him. "You don't have anything I want," I said with meaning, then laughed as he clapped a hand to his chest.
"You're vicious, you know that?
I blew him a mocking kiss and he pretended to catch it. Michael arrived, and his cheeks turned a dusky red as Aaron tossed the kiss in his direction.
"Oh, you dropped it, man," Aaron protested, and I pinched him. Michael said nothing.
Sam and Aaron made small talk, discussing their weight-training regimens while Michael and I listened in silence, then Phillip, Jim, and Greg joined us and jumped in with the details of their own workout routines.
Bored, I let my eyes wander. There was a lot to see. Male flesh everywhere I looked. Some sleek and some heavily muscled, but every last one sexy in his own way. As if feeling bad he was left out, my mind brought up an image of Kent doing a bizarre dance in the red velvet thong I'd bought him for a joke one Christmas, which he'd eventually stripped off and...
Memories swept me, and my long-deprived body responded despite my best efforts to keep myself under control and the recollections at bay. Peter and the producers might be constructing a new show, but my body craved a re-run.
*****
After dinner, my exes and I split up the last of the marshmallows and talked about nothing and everything. The firelight flickering on their faces as the day turned to night entranced me. They were so familiar and yet strangers, and I found myself making furtive eye contact with each of them. Old feelings were waking up, and new ones were emerging.
And not just for me. Whatever had stopped Michael looking at me was gone. Every time I glanced his way, he was watching me, his brown eyes intense.
I wasn't the only one who noticed.
"What do you think your wife's up to right now, Michael?"
I stared at Aaron.
"How would I know?" Michael's attempt at lightness didn't quite come off.
I forced a smile. I shouldn't have cared, but I did. "Congrats. I didn't know."
"He told us last night while you were at the water," Aaron said. "Only six months. Still a newlywed."
Why was Michael, married Michael, staring at me?
"Frankly, I don't understand marriage." Aaron gave Michael a bland smile. "Why not stay while it's good, then go? If you're married, you're trapped."
"That's a horrible attitude," I said. "If you're in love, why not make it official?"
"It's not 'trapped', it's commitment," Sam added.
Aaron gave a mock shudder. "The 'c' word. It gives me hives. And don't tell me any of you believe in true love." He made it sound like a belief in the tooth fairy's invisible friend.
"I do," I said, defiantly and not entirely truthfully. I wanted to.
"I thought you were smarter than that, MC." He shook his head.
"I believe in true love," Sam said calmly.
Aaron turned on him. "Didn't you say you were divorced?"
Had everyone gotten married when I wasn't looking?
Sam nodded. "Six years ago. So?"
"So how can you believe in--"
"I said I believed, not that I'd found it. I still think it's out there."
"Triumph of hope over experience?" Aaron rolled his eyes.
"That's what life's all about."
Aaron laughed. "No, it's about playing the game, looking out for number one."
"I couldn't disagree more," Sam said, and Dean added, "Your way, you're using people."
He'd obviously hoped to sting Aaron, but Aaron only shrugged. "If I don't, they'll use me." Turning to Michael, he said, "You're a 'Stranded!' fan too, buddy, you know what I mean. Life's like the show."
"No, I like the show because it's not like life. Life's about... about love, and connecting with people, and this is all about--"
"A million dollars," Phillip said flatly. "Who here wouldn't walk over a girlfriend, or anyone for that matter, to win it?"
My eyes met Aaron's. I knew he would, and I so didn't want to hear who agreed. "Be right back," I said, and bolted for the path to the latrine.
I peed quickly, as always afraid someone would come up and see me, then took my time walking down the nearly pitch-dark path, using my 'sunset over a lake' vision to soothe myself.
The trees rustled and Aaron appeared. I moved to the side so he could pass, but instead he stopped in front of me and put a hand on my shoulder. "I upset you." It wasn't a question.
"A bit, yes," I said. "I think it's a sad way to see the world, that's all."
"I'm sorry." He sounded sincere. "I'm not convinced people are ever unselfish. Everyone's got an angle." His hand tightened on my shoulder and he moved closer. "Which is not to say that two people can't have fun together." His other hand found my cheek, smoothed achingly slowly over it and across my jaw.
Every bit of my skin caught its breath at his touch then released it with a sigh and a shiver as he moved on until my body burned with heat and need. Horrified at my response to such insignificant contact, I made myself pull away, hoping he couldn't see his effect on me. "After what you said? Why would I be that stupid?"
His voice nearly as dark as the world around us, he said, "Why is it stupid to enjoy life? There's something between us, baby, and you know it. If it feels good, what's the problem?"
Put like that, I didn't know how to answer. There was something between us: passion, pure and simple. His touch, that one simple caress, had me in an uproar.
His hand returned to my shoulder. "There's no problem." He brushed his mouth over my already tingling cheek, sending fresh shivers through me. "We had fun, didn't we?"
My body cried out for him, longed to be held and kissed and cherished, and I nearly gave in. But an emotionless fling wasn't what I wanted. And Aaron and cherishing went together like ice cream and bacon fat.
I made my voice firm. "Not enough to start up again. Forget it, Aaron."
I could feel the shakiness in my voice, but either he didn't hear it or he chose to ignore it; his hand dropped from my shoulder and he said, "Okay, moving on. No hard feelings, right?"
And people say women swing wildly from one extreme to another. I took a deep breath and tried to sound amused and unaffected. "Right."
"Good stuff. Want to follow me back?"
"No, you go ahead. I'll be there in a minute." I stood still as he crashed off back to camp. Not heading to the latrine. He'd come to find me. But then why had he given up so quickly?
The intensity of my desire for him frightened me. My heart and mind weren't interested in Aaron. Only my body. I wanted a man who'd awaken all three. I wasn't positive such a creature even existed, but I sure wouldn't find him here.
Time to focus. No more flirty glances or recollections of our good times together, and definitely no more touching. An electric shock slid down my spine at the memory of Aaron's lips on my cheek, but I refused to succumb. I could do this. I had to think of Colin and how much I could change his life, not of the men I'd left behind.
I would come out of this show with a million dollars.
Chapter Four
"You're quite the early bird, Princess."
I returned Peter's smile, wishing I wore more than my bathing suit. "At home, I can sleep for days. I've slept through fire alarms. But it's hard to sleep in out here." Or to sleep at all, although I'd managed a few hours the night before.
"They seem
to be doing fine." He jerked his head toward the men sleeping like babies, if babies in need of a shower and shave.
Indeed. I'd visited the latrine, filled up our canteens, and spent ages out in the water, and still none of them were awake. I'd truly enjoyed the time alone, though, and was learning to ignore the omnipresent cameras.
I nodded, and he smiled. "Well, let's get them up. I have a surprise."
Once the guys were awake, Peter said, "We thought it'd be fun for you and the other Court to have a nice meal together. A gift from us to you."
The guys, galvanized by the thought of food not cooked by us, scrambled from the shelter and dressed in record time while I pulled a tank top and long skirt over my bikini.
Braiding my damp hair took me a few minutes, and four of my exes left on the first boat. When I boarded the second one, Sam already had Dean beside him so I sat alone. At least, I did until Michael moved to me.
"They never give stuff away like this. Aaron and I think we need to be careful."
I nodded. He moved closer and said into my ear, "Are you all right?"
I nodded again and he moved even closer. "I'm glad. I've been worrying about you."
Then he almost threw himself back to his original seat.
I gazed at the water flowing past the boat, not wanting Sam and Dean, or the camera crew, to see my confusion. It had been two years, but I still daydreamed about Michael occasionally. Did he feel the same way?
But no, he was married. Of course he didn't.
Once we arrived, Peter waited while we had our microphones strapped on then escorted us into the same clearing, this time filled with a long narrow table inside a mesh tent. The smells as we approached made me dizzy, and I heard several guys groan behind me.
Inside the tent, Peter directed me to a chair with a gold bow on the back, and said, "Courtiers, you will find your seats along the same side of the table as your Princess. The other Court will arrive shortly, and I'm sure you will be polite when they do." He turned and left the room, leaving us alone.
Utterly alone.
No camera crew.
Michael and Aaron were right: something was going on.
I looked down the table and mouthed, "Behave yourselves", and the guys, looking as nervous as I'd started to feel, nodded.
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