“Just remember,” Xander warns him, “I’m still bigger than you and I will take you down, little brother or not.”
Xavier raises his hands innocently. “Just stating fact. Don’t shoot the messenger.”
“Yes,” Sarah tells her, “I’m fairly certain she’s peed her pants, but I told them they should go to the hospital anyway to make sure. If she would be in labor, it’s way too early, so better to know than not.”
“Do you want me to go with you?” my mom asks.
I shake my head. “I just want Xander.”
“Okay.” She frowns, so I can tell she’s a little hurt, but she doesn’t try to beg. I just know she’d make me more nervous in this kind of situation whereas Xander calms me down.
“Go, go,” Sarah urges us, when Xander and I keep standing there. “And then call and let us know once you know something.”
We say goodbye to his sister and dad, explaining the situation yet again, and then we put on our coats and leave.
Once in the car, I burst into tears.
“Thea,” he breathes, backing out of the driveway. He reaches over and grabs my hand, using one to steer. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m scared,” I mumble through my tears. “What if it was my water and I go into labor early? It’s too soon. I don’t want to lose her. I love her.”
Xander looks over at me with wide sad brown eyes. “I know you do. I’m scared too, but I’m trusting my mom right now. We’ll be at the hospital soon and then we’ll know for sure. Is she moving?” he asks me.
“I don’t know,” I admit reluctantly. “I haven’t felt her in a little while.” I start to cry harder. “What if something happened and she’s gone?” He doesn’t answer me. “Xander?” I prompt.
He looks over at me, tears in his own eyes. “That’s not going to happen,” he vows.
I want to believe him, but I know anything can happen.
And it sort of feels like this would be fates way of mocking me, since I was so ant-baby, and now I’m finally getting excited about the whole thing.
Since it’s Thanksgiving and my doctor’s office isn’t open, we check-in at the emergency room. We explain the situation and it isn’t long until they have me in a room and ask me to change into a gown.
I don’t think I’ve stopped crying the entire time. My face is permanently wet.
Xander sits in the spare chair, his knee bouncing restlessly.
I change into the gown and climb onto the bed. Xander slides his chair closer and takes my hand, kissing my fingers.
“It’s going to be okay.” He keeps saying that over and over and I think it’s more for himself than me.
There’s a knock on the door and then it opens to reveal a nurse.
“Hi, I’m Alena. We want to get you hooked up to a fetal heart monitor since you said you weren’t feeling much, if any, movement.”
My terrified eyes dart to Xander and he looks as scared as I feel.
What if there is no heartbeat?
I pull up the gown for her, revealing my stomach and she comes over with the monitor.
As soon as it’s on the steady whoosh whoosh whooshing sound fills the air and I burst into tears again.
“That’s the greatest thing I’ve ever heard,” I tell the nurse.
Xander stands at my side, rubbing my forehead and when I tilt my head back to look up at him I find him wiping away tears of relief.
“The doctor will be in soon to check your water. The heartbeat sounds great, though. Breathe, guys,” she encourages.
Xander sits down in the chair again, wrapping our fingers together. His dark hair falls over his forehead into his eyes and I reach to push it back, gliding my fingers over his cheek in the process.
“I thought things were fine and I believed my mom, but when you said you weren’t feeling her move …” he pauses, gathering a shaky breath. “Fuck, Thea, I’ve never felt fear like that before.”
“I was scared too.” My voice cracks since my throat’s dry. “I thought maybe this was some cosmic way of mocking me for finally being happy about the baby.”
“Oh, Thea,” he breathes, and it’s like I can see his heart break. “That would never be true. Some things just happen and there’s no reason for them.”
He leans over and kisses my forehead and then brushes his lips over mine.
“Please, never think like that,” he begs.
I open my mouth to answer him but there’s another knock on the door then.
“Hello, hello, I’m Dr. Keegan,” a woman in her fifties says, her hair pulled back into a ponytail. “I hear you think your water might’ve broken.”
I nod, sitting up in the bed. “My mother-in-law said she thinks it’s more likely I peed my pants, which is embarrassing, but we’d rather be sure.”
“You’re not having any contractions, so that’s a good sign.” She points to a print out from the machine. “We’re going to check to be sure, though.”
Xander moves out of the way and she props my leg up. She slips some gloves on and looks me over.
“This is going to be uncomfortable,” she warns.
“Ow.” I bite my lip as she pushes her fingers inside, feeling around. I don’t know what she’s touching but it feels like brain.
After a moment she pulls her fingers out. “Your water is intact, so I think it’s safe to say you peed your pants.”
“Well …” I blush. “That’s embarrassing.”
“Don’t be,” she assures me. “It happens to a lot of women. Most even poop during childbirth.”
My eyes widen in horror. “That’s disgusting. I better not do that. Gross.” I shudder at the very idea.
She laughs and removes her gloves, tossing them in the disposal box. “Well, if you do, just remember it’s perfectly normal. Besides, you rarely even know you’ve done it.”
I shake my head and look at Xander. “Don’t even think about looking down there while I’m giving birth.”
He raises his hands innocently.
“I’ll send someone in with the discharge papers. You can go ahead and get dressed.”
“Uh … what about this?” I point to the monitor on my belly.
“Oh, silly me.” She laughs and takes it off of me.
She leaves the room and I hop up, happy to get out of the itchy gown and back into my clothes.
“I can’t believe I peed myself,” I mutter.
Xander chuckles. “Better that than to go into labor three months early.”
“Very true,” I agree. “Can you call your mom so she can let everyone know it’s okay?” I ask.
He nods. “Yeah, I’ll do that now.”
Xander calls her and the nurse from earlier comes back. I have to sign a mountain of papers before we can leave, but finally we’re free to go. I shrug into my coat and grab my purse.
Xander guides me outside with his hand on my waist. He knows I don’t need helping getting out, but I think he feels better to be touching me.
Today has been draining in so many ways, but eye opening in others.
I know now that I’m ready to be a mom. I didn’t think I was, or ever would be, but I don’t have any doubts now. This little girl is going to change my life, sure, but in the best possible way and I’m ready for whatever she brings.
Thea
29 Weeks Pregnant
Baby is the size of butternut squash
“Xander!” I come running out of our closet horrified.
“What?” He looks up from his shoe he’s slipping on.
I can’t even take a moment to appreciate how nice he looks dressed up for Rae and Cade’s wedding because I’m freaking the fuck out.
“I ripped my bridesmaid’s dress trying to get into it. I need you to sew me in.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy. “I play football, Thea. I don’t sew.”
I snap my fingers at his computer. “Then look up a video and learn. I need to get into this dress. I can’t believe I’ve gained this much weight
since my last fitting. This is ridiculous.” I frown at the seam in the silvery gray dress.
“Do we even have a needle and thread?” he asks, standing up and making his sure his shirt is tucked in.
“Yes, it’s a necessity when you have a house. You never know when you’re going to have to sew something.”
He sighs. “I’ll look up a video,” he promises. “Just give me a minute.”
“Thank you,” I tell him honestly. Rae’s not a bridezilla, but I don’t think she’d take too kindly if I show up in something that’s not my bridesmaid dress. It’d throw off her whole color scheme.
I grab my sewing kit from the laundry room and head back to the bedroom. As promised, Xander is watching a tutorial on how to sew a seam.
He takes the sewing basket from me and finds a needle and thread that’s a similar color, threading it through.
I stand beside him holding as still as possible.
“Don’t move,” he warns.
“If you poke me and get blood on this dress I might punch you.”
He bites out a gruff laugh and pinches the fabric, restarting the video.
Thankfully it’s not too big of a tear, just enough to be noticeable since my skin is peeking through. His tongue slides through his lips as he concentrates. I hold my breath as he works and ten minutes later it’s completely closed. Is it the best job? Definitely not. But for his first time sewing I’ll give him a pass.
“Thank you.” I kiss him and he smiles against my lips.
I pack the sewing kit and put it away before I finish getting ready.
I keep my makeup light and simple and put my hair back in an up-do that’s already approved by Rae.
Xander tends to Prue and then we leave for the wedding.
I can’t believe my best friend is marrying my brother. She’s going to be a permanent part of our family. It’s awesome.
Rae and Cade are getting married in a historic hotel downtown. It’s beautiful with amazing views of the city. I’m so happy they let me help plan the wedding as much as I could. Since Xander and I did things the way we did, I didn’t plan ours. That’s never bothered me, but it’s fun to be a part of theirs.
Xander parks in the below ground parking garage and we take the elevator up to the ballroom level.
“Oh, good, there you are,” Nova cries when she sees me. She’s dressed in a matching dress with her hair pulled back similarly. “Rae’s this way. And you—” she points at Xander “—need to go that way. Just start walking you’ll hear Jace bitching soon enough.”
Xander chuckles. “Okay—you both look beautiful, by the way.”
“He had to sew me into my dress,” I blurt.
Nova snorts, looking between the two of us. “Seriously?”
“Unfortunately,” I mutter.
“That’s hilarious,” she giggles, looping her arm through mine and dragging me away.
She pulls me into a room that’s been sequestered for getting ready.
Rae sits in a chair with a hairdresser styling her hair and someone else doing her makeup. Her mom bustles about the room, checking on various things.
“How are you feeling?” I ask Rae. “Nervous?”
She smiles up at me. “A little. Mostly excited.”
“You can still run,” I joke. “My brother’s an idiot so I wouldn’t blame you.”
She laughs and shakes her head. “I love him. I’m sure.”
“You know this means you’re next,” I warn Nova.
She snorts and dismisses my words with a wave of her hand. “No way. Jace and I don’t want to get married.”
I look at her like she’s crazy. “Are you serious?”
She nods. “Yeah. We’ve both talked about it, and it’s just not something we need. We don’t feel like a piece of paper is going to prove we love each other. What we feel exists in our twisted broken hearts,” she jokes with a shrug. “That’s all we need.”
“That’s really kind of beautiful,” I admit. “But being married is nice. I love being able to call Xander my husband.”
Nova shrugs. “We have no plans to get married. That’s all I can tell you.”
Rae doesn’t make any comment, but her eyes connect with mine and I know she thinks it’s as crazy as I do. Don’t get me wrong, I know you don’t have to get married, and they’re free to do what they want, but I don’t want to them to miss out on something.
“You need to get in your dress,” Rae’s mom tells her. “It’s almost time.”
“I’ll be done here in a minute,” the hair stylist says. The makeup artist has already finished and packs up her stuff.
A few minutes later, her hair is done and it looks amazing. It’s pulled back into a sleek bun, secured at the back of her neck.
She hops up and we help her into her dress, all the while the wedding photographer is snapping away.
When the veil is added and Rae looks in the mirror, she starts to cry.
She looks beautiful.
Truly.
Her makeup is done soft so that her natural beauty shines through, and the dress she chose is stunning. It’s a tank-top style top that dips down into a V in the front, fitting until her waist with lace detailing, where it then billows out with an explosion of tulle.
“You look like a princess,” I tell her, tears in my eyes. Being pregnant is turning me into a weepy mess.
She twirls around and around, letting out a tinkling laugh. She stops in front of us, her cheeks rosy and her eyes brimming with tears.
“I’m ready to marry my man now.”
I laugh. “Cade’s going to shit himself when he sees you.”
“Let’s not go that far.” She laughs. “I’d love for him to cry, though.”
We’re ushered out of the room and down the hall and we line up outside the closed double doors.
Jace and Nova are walking first and then Xander and me, with the bride bringing up the rear with her dad.
“Hey, hot stuff.” I loop my arm through the crook of Xander’s and someone who I think is part of the hotel staff hands me my bouquet.
Xander bends his head and kisses my cheek.
“What was that for?” I ask.
He shrugs, straightening up. “Because I wanted to.”
I smile. “I like that answer.”
He chuckles.
“You look beautiful—really.”
“Thanks.” I smooth my hands down my dress. “It’s a little tight, but …”
“I like it.” He presses his hand to my belly and the baby kicks in response.
“You’re going to have to rip me out of it tonight.”
He grins, stifling a laugh. “I like the sound of that.”
“It’s time,” someone tells us. “Show time.”
The doors open and Jace and Nova walk ahead of us.
Xander waits for our turn and then starts forward. He walks slow, matching my pace.
We separate taking our places and then the music changes.
Everybody stands, looking toward the entrance for Rae.
When she appears in the doorway on her dad’s arm, I look to see Cade’s reaction. He gasps, his lips parted, and tears fill his eyes. He takes a deep breath and grins at her. He’s cut his hair and the atrocious beard is gone, replaced by some heavy scruff.
Rae reaches him and he takes her hand, whispering something in her ear that makes her blush.
I begin to cry, because it’s a wedding, and that’s my brother and best friend, and it’s just beautiful.
I barely hear their vows over my struggles to regain myself.
Before I know it, they’re announced as husband and wife, making their way back up the aisle.
We clear out of the room and the hotel staff hurries to get it ready for the reception.
In the meantime, we hang out outside the room. Rae and Cade have disappeared for pictures, and soon we’re called to join them for the group ones.
When the pictures are done, the room is ready for the receptio
n.
They’ve transformed the ballroom into a winter wonderland. Silver and white curtains hang down over all the walls, adding a softness. The tables are all covered in silver tablecloths. There’s an area for dancing and a stage for the band.
We all take our seats for the sit down dinner of steak or fish.
I’m amazed by how many people are at the wedding. It’s still small by most people’s standards, but larger than some.
While they eat, Cade leans over periodically and whispers in Rae’s ear. He must say something dirty once because she smacks his shoulder.
I’m so incredibly happy for them, though.
On a day like today I can’t help but be reminded of the depressed girl I met when we were roommates our freshman year. She was so unhappy and didn’t want to be friends with anybody, and look at her now. More than friends, she has a whole new family. Sometimes what we think we don’t want is exactly what we need.
She laughs at something he says and I smile.
“Why are you smiling?” Xander asks me.
“I’m just happy,” I tell him. “Everyone … We all seem to be doing exactly what we’re meant to be doing.” I point at Cade and Rae laughing and admiring their new wedding rings, Jace staring at Nova as she photographs the wedding, and then finally, I indicate us and my very large bump.
Xander grins back at me and touches my belly. “Life’s good,” he agrees.
“It’s perfect,” I breathe.
“Not quite,” he disagrees. “But it will be once she’s here.” He rubs my tummy.
I place my hand over his, smiling.
“I can’t wait to meet her.”
“Me too. I wonder who she looks like,” he murmurs.
“I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.”
“I hope she looks like you.” He bends his head, kissing my shoulder.
“Funny, because I hope she looks like you,” I admit, and he grins back.
“Two more months and we’ll know.”
“Did you hear that, little girl?” I ask my belly. “Two more months and we’ll know what you look like. We can’t wait to see you.”
I’m more than ready to meet her now.
Well, that’s a lie. We still have to finish getting her nursery put together, but after that … it’s game on.
When Constellations Form (Light in the Dark Book 4) Page 24
