Christmas Knight (Heartthrob Heroes, Book 3)

by Kimberly Llewellyn

  Tori willed him to turn around and look at her. This time he had been the sane, decent one who stopped them. Whether he meant to teach her a lesson or not, she had an understanding of what he had gone through.

  She sighed, exasperated and embarrassed. How could she give into such physical pleasure with a man who had been a stranger just days before? She had been willing to throw all responsibility aside to enjoy an immediate sensuality that offered no promise of lasting commitment. She swallowed back the bitter taste of remorse.

  Damn Zach for being so noble all of a sudden. She sucked in a deep breath the way she always had when facing any difficulty, but fought the threat of losing composure. After all, he had spared her of any grief the night before and she would return the favor by not making a fuss.

  "Well, then. If you could give me a few minutes alone so I can get dressed." She forced out the words, surprised by her own calmness. She watched Zach give a slow, understanding nod and heave himself off the bed.

  "Tori, I know I started this, and—"

  "And you finished it," she said. "Last night, you accused me of hiding behind my responsibility to my son so I wouldn't follow my heart. But I can't understand what you're hiding behind. I can't figure out what you have to lose from this. You say you're doing this for me, but I don't believe it."

  "You don't think I'm strong enough to just stop a woman from doing something she might regret later on?"

  "Are you?"

  Zach's face reddened and his features twisted in a way that Tori hadn't seen before. Standing, he turned and gripped the edge of the shelf by the bed.

  "Yes, I am, to answer your insulting question."

  "But is that the real reason, Zach?" Tori crossed her arms to make sure that most of her nakedness was still hidden under the flannel shirt. Her fear of making a fuss passed as she gained a glimpse of insight into Zach's vulnerability. "Why did you really stop? What will you regret?"

  Zach pushed away from the shelf. He straightened and rose to his full six feet. He walked over to the bunker door and paused before leaving.

  "I have nothing to lose. No regrets, Tori. Not one. I'll let you get dressed now." Zach exited the bunker and left Tori behind.

  * * *

  Zach squinted in the brightness of the morning as the sunshine reflected off a few small banks of snow plowed up from a previous storm. It had just about killed his insides to turn Tori down, but he'd done the right thing. Of course, as usual, it only lead Tori to asking questions. About regrets. And the worst question? What did he have to lose?

  Absolutely nothing.

  And that was the sobering truth.

  He did have nothing to lose when it came to falling for Tori—nothing except his heart.

  And he had vowed never to lose his heart to anyone again. After the split with Karen, he had arranged his life so he'd never again have anything to lose. He'd never put down roots—and never put his heart at risk.

  He'd never wanted to risk that way again. Yet making sure he had nothing to lose left him with just that—nothing. No heart filled with the joy of a woman by his side, only to be left broken and empty. No dreams shared with a wife and child that might be shattered one day. Although he told Tori he probably wouldn't be there for any of her tomorrows, he knew the truth. Just like he'd been thee for those kids every Christmas. He would be there. That is, if she wanted him.

  But Tori seemed to have her life all mapped out. He couldn't take the chance of turning to her one morning and have her not around. He didn't want to suffer through a repeat performance of a disappearing act like Karen's. Hell, no. Not worth the risk.

  Zach hadn't planned on taking a chance on love again, nor had he ever expected to consider a child—especially someone else's child from another relationship. How could he possibly want to take care of a woman and her son when he barely managed on his own?

  Zach massaged his temple to rub away the headache that started to throb. He walked into the service station office for a change in scenery—anything to get his mind off Tori and the alluring image of her lying barely dressed in his bed.

  "You and your gal are in luck today." The attendant picked his head up from pouring over his paperwork on the counter. "The replacement part will be in soon. We'll have you back on the road in no time."

  * * *

  "Christmas Eve is tomorrow night and we're just outside of Columbus. It'll be close, but I think we're going to make it," Tori said, although she still didn't know how she'd get from St. Louis to her family's home. She certainly couldn't ask Zach to take her right to her front doorstep now. Not after what had happened several hours ago. She tried to keep the conversation light for most of the afternoon and felt grateful that they had both managed to act remarkably composed since this morning.

  "Just a few more hours," Zach answered.

  "We should feel lucky we managed to leave that gas station a lot earlier than expected. Thank goodness for small miracles."

  "Any more of the apple bread left?" Zach asked. Tori handed him the remains of the cake-like bread that had served as both their breakfast and lunch.

  She surprised herself at how she managed to hold her own and keep her dignity after being rejected by Zach. Having the radio on helped fill the quiet time. Tori's thoughts wandered to the strains of the music. Maybe Zach had been right to stop them before they did something they regretted. But she still wished he hadn't.

  Chapter 9

  "It's beautiful scenery out here," Tori finally said after an extended spell of quiet. "Too bad it's getting dark already. I love looking at the countryside, especially in the fall, before winter strikes." She recalled making the trip once in the autumn, when the trees were brilliantly colored in orange, yellow, and red. The glorious scenery had been the only source of comfort on those endless hours alone.

  "How do you do it, Zach? Travel alone so much?"

  "I guess I'm used to it." Zach smiled—something he started doing again a few hours ago. "When I look through the windshield every morning, it's like I'm heading into my next adventure."

  "I guess I understand even though I like to have everything planned."

  He was quiet for a moment. "Some guys have a special woman waiting for them back home. That keeps them going. Me? It's finding out what's gonna happen next. It sounds pretty lame, but that's what I look forward to."

  "I don't think it's lame at all."

  Tori asked the question that burned within her. "So you have no special woman waiting for you back home?"

  "Nah. I've never had a special woman—to speak of. It's too much of a hassle. It's funny. If you don't have a wife, you spend all your time wishing you had one. And if you have a wife, you spend all your time on the phone at rest stops apologizing to her for being away so much while your boss is breathing down your neck." Zach stopped his rambling before the loneliness in his voice gave him away.

  He had spent too many nights on the road wondering what it would be like having someone special to come home to. Many of those nights, his thoughts would be broken by soft knocks on the bunker door by women offering to take the edge off the loneliness, even if only for an hour or two—for a price. He'd always said no.

  Although the longing for the company of a woman gnawed at him, it never pierced him like it did now. Now that he'd met Tori.

  "It doesn't have to be like that," Tori said on a soulful breath.

  "I've never met a trucker who hasn't gone through it."

  "So because of your job, you'll never have a relationship with someone special?"

  "I thought I did once, I won't deny it. She didn't turn out special after all," he answered Tori. He didn't want to discuss Karen with her. That time in his life seemed so far away. "Time for a break." And time to end this painful subject.

  Zach pulled off Route Seventy and into an empty, dark, wooded rest area. He halted the vehicle as its rumbling engine broke into the silence of the night. While Zach allowed Spike to romp freely outside before putting him back into the cab, To
ri jumped out to take in a deep breath of the brisk night air.

  She stretched out her legs and looked around her until the black silhouette of treetops swaying against the murky blueness of the night caught her eye. And as she bent down to stretch her stiff calf muscles, she noted the deep shadows that fell to the ground from the brilliance of the near-full moon. Between the occasional passing of cars on the highway, Tori could hear the rustling of the trees in the winter breeze when she closed her eyes.

  "You're not even shivering and you don't have on a coat," Zach said.

  "I'm not that cold." Tori opened her eyes and inhaled another breath of woodsy air. "It's so peaceful right here."

  Zach stood beside her. He'd always been so focused on getting from one city to the next, he never made the time to notice the earth's beauty.

  Tori pointed to the hills off into the distance. "Look how the moon shines a blue light on everything. When we were driving, I could see the farmlands covered with snow in the moonlight. I felt so at peace. Sometimes, when I get fed up with school, I wish I could take Stephen and run away and live in the country."

  "Is that why you decided to go to school up by Lenox in the middle of the mountains instead of Boston?"

  "Maybe a little. But if I had to spend all my time in the Berkshire Mountains so far from civilization, I think I'd go stir crazy."

  Zach could understand that more than she'd ever know. He'd been going stir crazy for hours sitting in the rig, feeling Tori's heat, sensing her unspoken anxiety over why he'd stopped touching her. She deserved an answer. An honest answer.

  "Tori, about today. I wish I had more to offer you than a ride in a beat-up rig. You deserve better. And I don't make promises I can't keep—"

  Tori shushed him by bringing one small finger up to his lips. What he recognized in her expression reflected his own feelings. He still saw the same hunger that needed to be fulfilled in the way her lips naturally pouted and demanded to be kissed again. And soon.

  "I just wanted to be sure you knew we'd have no tomorrow before we did anything we'd regret. We sort of got carried away earlier. I thought maybe we'd need to cool things before you decided if you really wanted to be with me." Before Zach finished his speech, he found himself wrapping his arms around her.

  Tori eased into his embrace. "Right now, being here with you, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

  A pool of heat welled within him. Hearing Tori speak those words made him instinctively squeeze her more tightly. The inner fervor they shared would keep them warm enough to enjoy the serenity of the winter night for a while longer.

  Tori looked up at him. "I don't know what we're getting ourselves into, but is it so wrong?" she asked. Her hands settled against his chest, warming the layers of his clothing, warming his heart.

  "No. It's not wrong." He took her hands in his and kissed her palms. He told her what they both had to hear. He eased one hand free to stroke the lovely curves of her strong dancer's body. "You're trembling now."

  "I-I know. But it's not from the cold," Tori answered as she shuddered from his touch. He unfastened the knot at the bottom of the tiny cotton shirt that separated him from what he had been craving since the last time he'd touched her. His hand caressed one of her breasts sheathed in a lacy bra, firm yet infinitely soft to his touch.

  He watched with pleasure as Tori arched against him under the moonlight. He felt her breathing quicken through the rising and falling of the plumpness cupped in his hand.

  No, this was not wrong, he knew. This was not merely physical, nor fleeting. This was something—someone—he had been yearning for his whole life, although he had never known her name until a few nights before. Until recently, he hadn't even known what she looked like, except in his dreams.

  Zach had never found what he searched for in another woman until he met Tori. And he would not allow her to slip through his fingers... at least not for now. He cradled her head in his hands and kissed her to make sure she was real, and not just the image he had dreamed about for so long.

  Together, their bodies rocked and swayed to their own slow sultry rhythm until they found their way inside the bunker. As he laid her onto the bed, he gently broke away from her.

  "Where are you going?" Tori protested, her arms reaching out for him.

  From the cubbyhole, Zach pulled out a small emergency hurricane lamp and lit it until its dim glow illuminated the room with hazy warmth.

  "I want to see every inch of you." Zach pressed his weight on her while revealing the lacy bra that separated his hand from the smoothness of her skin. A moment later, he removed the lacy barrier and stared in awe at Tori's naked beauty.

  "You don't look like you've ever had a baby."

  "Well, that was a few years ago. I worked hard to get back into shape. Who would hire an out-of-shape ballet instructor?"

  Tori was by no means out of shape. With one finger, Zach traced an imaginary line from her breast bone down her belly. The gesture made her gasp with anticipation. He stopped, relishing her anticipation. He brought his hand to the curve of her breast and with one fingertip, traced along its swell, watching how her nipple instantly peaked at his touch.

  She extended her arms again to welcome his pressing weight and the warmth of his body. Then, with agonizing slowness, she peeled away his clothing until his chest hair teased her own soft skin. Her sighs grew throaty as her hands reached around to the small of his back and drew him close to her.

  The cold world outside melted away as he set his sights only on Tori. Seeing her in the warm light of the lamp filled him with a heat that he had to control—or burst in a furious release of yearning.

  He tilted his head and kissed her. It had already been too long since he'd felt her lips on his. The urgency in his kiss grew. He was hungry to taste more of her. She parted her mouth and offered him what he sought so desperately.

  Then Zach's hands explored her everywhere, leaving searing paths along her body. And she explored his body, knowing and loving every contour of his torso, from the breadth of his shoulders to his tapered waist to the length of his legs.

  He broke from her lips and planted dewy kisses on one breast before suckling. Loving her breast with his hot tongue, his mastery sent her senses reeling. His skilled mouth alone coaxed out a hot need in her she'd never felt before. She ached and writhed under his body.

  Tori's heightened response pushed Zach recklessly to the edge. He wanted to savor this and wanted to be sure that it felt right for her. He wanted to feel every inch of her, both inside and out. And when she eagerly positioned her hips under him just so, he could feel her pulsing hotly under him. It was more than he could bear.

  He eased into her, gently at first, but then gasped at her moist heat. She moved her body rhythmically under him and gripped his backside more fervently.

  "Tori, you're so tight."

  "Just don't stop. I think I'd die if you stopped now."

  "Darlin', I couldn't stop now if my life depended on it."

  Losing his senses, he thrust into her, joining with her, body and soul.

  Tori let out a cry as waves of sensual delight gripped her. Her body bucked and her spasms tightened around his hardened shaft even more.

  He rocked into her and a fierce carnal desire pounded through him. He couldn't hold back as Tori climaxed and moaned, sending him skyrocketing to new heights. When she brought him past the brink, he slammed his hips against hers, fulfilling his pent-up desire for her in one sweet moment of ultimate release.

  He cried her name then and covered her with kisses, until they altogether forgot the world on the other side of the bunker door.

  Roused from a profound sleep the next morning, Zach lay still. The muscles in his body relaxed for the first time in weeks. Never had he enjoyed such a rest during the holiday season with his scheduled workload and clandestine activities.

  He looked at Tori's lovely face nestled on his chest. They had become one.

  As his thoughts peacefully lingered on th
eir union, his relaxed body sank more deeply into this tranquil state. Even if he wanted to, he would be unable to command his muscles to move away from Tori, who lay wrapped around him, lost in slumber. And if he could move his sated muscles, he could never order his heart to separate from her right then anyway.

  He closed his eyes to listen to Tori's small breaths as she slept. Somehow, somewhere along the line, he'd fallen for her and fallen hard. But it didn't matter when. He only cared that he rested beside her, enjoying her warmth.

  Still, he never dreamed that the heavy stir he felt deep in his chest could ever be love. How could it? He'd sworn off that sort of thing. And yet, he found himself staring down at her, completely mesmerized by every breath she took.

  He pushed away the invasive thought that jabbed him... the thought that she would leave him soon. After the next few hours of driving, she would walk out of his life. Zach tried to ignore that sinking realization.

  Tori stirred in his arms. She nuzzled her head against his and opened her sleepy eyes. "Hey, stranger, what are you doing up so early?"

  "It's not that early actually," Zach answered and a small kindling of desire flared within him. He stroked her cheek, watching in wonder as she stretched into wakefulness.

  As she came to life and covered his chest with sleepy kisses, his own hunger for her grew. With an acute realization that his time with Tori would be too short, an urgency overtook him. Time with Tori became as precious as she was.

  He gathered her in his arms and lifted her up on top of him. Tori straddled his waist and leaned down to sweep her mane of hair across his chest. Her teasing only added to his urgency, swelling to the point of near release. If she kept this up much longer, he wouldn't last but a heartbeat. Tori squeezed her thighs tightly against Zach's and lowered herself onto him.

  It was Zach's turn to utter a moan as Tori took in his hardened heat. He watched her sway above him. He watched her angelic face soften in response to her own sensual pleasure. And he watched her body writhe and rock faster and faster until he felt the waves of her climax overcome her.