But then she remembered other things. Asher flirting with the other woman at the festival. His mocking her jealousy. His making it crystal clear that he cared for her but didn’t want what she wanted. Even if he cared for her, it wasn’t enough. If it weren’t for Matthew, she might be tempted to try. But Matthew had come back into her life, and he was what she needed. He was right for her.
“It’s too late,” she said quietly. “I’m engaged. What we had… it’s not enough. You love your freedom, and I need the marriage certificate and the picket fence. I’ve spent my adult life dating men with issues, hoping they’d change and give me what I want. Now, I have someone who has changed and has offered me everything I want. And I’m going to take it.”
He shook his head, pointing a finger at her. “You’re making the biggest fucking mistake of your life.”
Asher shoved his chair aside, and walked out the door.
Chapter Twenty-One
Diana sat in her office, her hands shaking and her mind racing.
“Everything okay?”
She started at the unexpected voice. Lena stood in her doorway.
Diana forced a smile. “Yes. Everything’s fine.”
“I’d guess he was an angry parent, but I don’t recognize him…”
“No. He’s… an old friend. We had a misunderstanding.”
Lena nodded and went back to her desk. Diana knew she probably hadn’t fooled Lena. Male friends don’t storm out angrily like that, no matter what the problem. And Asher was no friend. He’d always been more than that, from the moment she met him. Especially now that he’d confessed the truth about how he felt.
They’d had something between them. Something powerful. Something she couldn’t see until she was already in the thick of it. At the time, she’d been too busy enjoying herself—and guarding herself—to see it. Every time she’d thought it was done, it wasn’t done. Their connection had taken on a life of its own. All of it was like nothing she’d ever experienced.
And he’d felt it too.
Both had gotten more than they bargained for… in every good way, but in one bad way.
Mutual feelings or not, they were different. Too different.
Could she be with a man like Asher? Live with a man like Asher? Bear his children? More importantly, could he be satisfied with the mundanities of family life, with diaper changes and temper tantrums and soccer practice? It was one thing to show kids how to fix a bike or to avoid abusing their brakes on the downhill, but it was quite another to deal with the everyday aspects of parenting. A free spirit like Asher would implode, would feel the walls closing in on him.
Matthew, on the other hand, wouldn’t. He hadn’t. He’d proven himself a family man, a man who wanted commitment and all that came with it. Matthew wasn’t Asher—he’d never made her feel like Asher had, in or out of the bedroom. But her mother had always taught her that you don’t choose a man based on who’s more exciting or better in bed; you choose the one who can give you a family. Everyone knew that.
Diana sighed. She would have to forget Asher, forget what happened and what he’d said.
Diana sat on her couch on a snowy Sunday, sipping her tea and watching the Broncos game. The stack of manila file folders glared at her from her coffee table.
Print-outs of various wedding and reception venues throughout Grand Junction and its surrounds. Numerous meal options for each venue, from chicken cordon bleu to Italian buffet. Bios of various ministers who were traditional enough for a respectable wedding, but not so traditional as to drum up bad memories for Matthew. Bands and DJs for the reception. Countless bakeries offering everything from classic white fondant with pearls to cupcakes with toothpicks that had dirty jokes attached to them.
Matthew had done much of the legwork, printing it all out for her rather than sending her dozens of links. Her mother had added to the pile by sending her ideas for flowers, each more absurd and over-the-top than the next, reminding Diana of a gaudy mob funeral. In yet another folder, Diana had stored printed screenshots of wedding gowns, all white and frilly and expensive. She used to think they were so beautiful; now, they seemed excessive. All of it did. Excessive and exhausting. Plus, she’d done all this before and had forgotten how much of a hassle it was.
What was wrong with her? Sure, wedding planning was stressful. But weren’t brides supposed to love tasting cakes and finding the dress, at least?
Last night, drinking wine with Matthew in bed, she’d joked that they should just say “screw it” and run off to Vegas. Matthew laughed at that, but shook his head.
“We’re beginning our life together. We need a real wedding,” he’d said.
“It’s just so much work. And so much planning. And so much money! Think of the places we could travel with that money! We could go to India, or to Costa Rica, or even Morocco!”
Matthew made a face. “For our honeymoon? With the super-long flights and the jet lag? Not to mention the lack of air conditioning, the bad roads, and the fact that everyone who travels to those places winds up with some kind of stomach bug…. Wouldn’t you rather go to some gorgeous island with turquoise waters, where we could lie around on the beach and then go make love for hours?”
Diana giggled. “That doesn’t sound so bad either. But don’t you want to see the world? I mean, I’ve lived in Junction my whole life and you have too. I’ve only been to Europe. There’s this whole other world out there.”
He shrugged. “I suppose. But right now, all I want to focus on is you, my boys, and my job. Maybe someday we can travel abroad… in nice hotels with AC.”
Diana picked up her dress folder, gazing at the beautiful white gowns. She sighed and put the folder down, getting up to reheat the gluten- and dairy-free gnocchi with Italian sausage she’d made the night before. Rational or not, she felt better on Mariah’s recommended diet. She needed to stick to it, not just for her sake but for Matthew’s too. Endo wrecked her first marriage, and she wouldn’t let it wreck this one. She still worried about that cyst, and soon she’d have to get an another ultrasound to see if it had grown even bigger. If her pain remained manageable, she could put off the surgery until after the wedding, when they could start thinking about trying to get pregnant.
She sat down to eat and pulled out her iPad to check Facebook. No pictures of her ex’s babies this time, thank goodness. Teagan had posted a pic of her latest book. Their friend Hannah had taken a couple of breathtaking shots of a mountain sunset on one of her runs. Mel had posted about her mom being mad that she didn’t come home to Junction for Thanksgiving.
No posts from Asher. No pics, no comments, nothing. Was he riding his bike on sunny days? Visiting Ogden to see his family? Preparing to venture somewhere exotic after the holidays? Where would he go? She imagined herself going with him, with their most basic clothing and their hiking shoes, touring some foreign country where the locals didn’t speak English and the food was strange. She imagined Asher communicating with the locals, trying any food they offered, never caring about things like AC or hotel star ratings. Then she shook such thoughts away. Having fantasies was one thing. Believing they could come true was quite another.
Curious what Asher had posted last and hoping he was doing well, she typed his name into the search field. But when she hit enter, Asher’s profile didn’t come up. Soon, she realized why. They were no longer friends. He’d unfriended her.
Diana closed her iPad, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach. He’d unfriended her! She angered him so much that he wanted nothing to do with her!
But maybe that was for the best. She had to move forward with her life, and he with his.
Diana rushed around her kitchen, getting everything prepared for having Matthew over for dinner. She’d made Matthew’s favorite: roasted whole chicken with rosemary, au gratin potatoes, and asparagus. Plus homemade rolls and his favorite brownie dessert. Matthew strolled into the kitchen, eyeing her two glass dishes of potatoes.
“What’s with two potato dishes?�
�
“One is au gratin, and the other is faux au gratin for me. No diary.”
“Well, at least you’re eating gluten.” He pointed to the rolls.
“Those are for you, sweetie.”
Matthew looked skeptical. “You made rolls just for me? You love bread. You can’t bend the rules?”
“When I bend the rules, I’m in pain. So I’m sticking with the diet to see if it keeps working.”
“I don’t see why it would. There’s no research to suggest that dairy or gluten have anything to do with endometriosis. And yes, I looked it up. Are you sure you want to trust some lady who doesn’t even have a medical degree?”
Diana put the asparagus into the pan of water. “I used to think the same thing. But so far, she’s been right.”
“Okay, if you say so…”
After dinner, they took their drinks, Matthew’s brownies, and Diana’s gourmet chocolate and sat down on her couch.
“That was good, baby. Thank you.”
Diana smiled and gave Matthew a kiss. “You’re welcome, sweetie.”
Matthew set his wine glass down. “About the wedding… I know it’s a lot to take on, but we should at least set a date. The good venues are already getting booked up and we need time to plan and think about taking time off work. Our families and friends need to plan too, including everyone in the wedding party. And the boys’ mom will need time to adjust. You know how she is. Not to mention that if you want to get started on having a baby, we shouldn’t put that off.”
Diana nodded, taking a deep breath to quell the anxiety rising in her. “You’re right.”
“I said I would help, and I meant it.”
“I know you will. When were you thinking?”
“Late May, or June. That gives us enough time. School’s out for the summer, which means the boys are free and you’re less busy.”
Diana nodded again. So much to do in so little time. She needed a dress. And bridesmaids dresses. Shit, what would the bridesmaids wear?
Before she could express any of her worries, Matthew went over and began rifling under his jacket. He produced a bright pink gift bag and set it in front of her before he sat back down.
Diana couldn’t help but smile. “What’s this?”
“An early Christmas gift.”
Diana reached into the bag and pulled out an envelope. She opened it, and inside was a folded card on fancy card stock. She read the card, which said she had an appointment that weekend with Penrose Bridal Studio, the most beautiful of the options she’d found.
“How did you know?” she cried.
“I peeked in your dress folder. You’d marked more stars on the dresses that came from that shop. They’re waiting for you… and they already have my credit card number.”
Diana brought her hands to her mouth. “Oh my goodness, Matthew! They’re probably so expensive!”
“I want you to have the dress you want. I know it’s four hours to Denver, but I figured you could visit one of your girlfriends and make a weekend of it. Dress shopping and wedding planning and all that. And they can help with the bridesmaids dresses too.”
“Thank you, sweetie!” Diana gave Matthew a giant hug, any anxious feelings now forgotten.
The next day, Diana called Teagan.
“Hey, D!”
“Teagan! How are you? How was Iceland?”
“It was cold, but gorgeous. And…”
“And?”
“We’re engaged.”
“Oh my goodness, Teagan!” Diana cried, jumping up and down. “I’m so happy for you! How’d he do it? Tell me everything.”
Teagan told Diana about Aaron’s proposal under the Northern Lights, and Diana shook her head. “Oh, Teagan. That sounds amazing. I’m so jealous.”
“Why? You’re still getting married, right?”
“Oh, yes, of course. But that proposal! Getting to see the aurora borealis. I mean, I can’t even talk Matthew into traveling abroad for our honeymoon.”
Teagan scoffed. “Press it. That dude still owes you. And it’s not like Iceland is some Third World adventure…”
“So when’s the big day?”
“Oh, God, I’m still getting used to wearing a ring on my finger. I can’t even fathom thinking that far ahead.”
“Yeah. I know exactly what you mean. I have less than six months to plan an entire wedding.”
“Can I help?”
“Well, I’m going to be in Denver this weekend. Didn’t you say you were coming to visit in December?”
“I was hoping to, but Aaron had to leave town again and I have to watch Patton. I just found out and was going to call you.”
Diana sighed. “Shit. I miss you.”
“I miss you too, D. But why are you going to the Eastern Slope?”
“Wedding dress shopping. Matthew found this gorgeous boutique near downtown—not far from your place, actually—and set up an appointment for me. He thought I could make a weekend of it. I was hoping you’d help me. Especially since you’re going to be my maid of honor…”
“I can try to drive up there and bring Patton with me…”
“No, sweetie. Don’t do that. I was just hoping for some girl support. I would wait, but getting this out of the way would take a lot of the pressure off…”
“You know who you should call? Hannah. She’s only forty minutes away, and you guys could stay at my condo for the weekend.”
“What a great idea! That will give me time to talk her into being a bridesmaid.” She sighed. “Good gravy. Why do people have bridesmaids? I didn’t even have bridesmaids at my first wedding!”
“It’ll be fine. Ask Hannah and Mel and anyone else you want, and I’ll coordinate with them on the dresses once you’ve picked out what you want us to wear. Once the day gets closer, I’ll come up there and help you in person. Okay?”
Diana breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you so much, sweetie. The question is, how much alcohol will I have to bribe Hannah with to tear her away from the trails so she can sit in some snooty bridal shop?”
Teagan laughed. “You know she hates anything wedding, so a lot. Better throw in some food, too. You know how much that girl eats.”
Diana guffawed at that. “I know, right?”
“You have the code to my place. Use it all you want. Just remember to lock up and turn down the heat when you leave.”
“Will do, sweetie.”
After Diana hung up, she called Hannah, expecting to get her voicemail.
“Well, if it isn’t Doctor Fiorelli,” came a soothing, quiet voice.
“Hannah! How are you?”
“Glad to hear from you. How’s your betrothal?”
“Stressful. Please, please, please tell me you’ll be a bridesmaid…” Diana held her breath, grimacing.
A pause. “Of course I will, D.”
Diana jumped up and down. “Oh thank you, thank you! I know you hate weddings.”
“I despise weddings. But I love you.”
“Oh, you are so sweet! I will make it up to you, I promise. By the way, I can’t believe I actually caught you and you aren’t out running.”
Hannah snickered. “I just got home. Haven’t even taken my shoes off.”
“Lucky me. So… have any plans this weekend?”
Chapter Twenty-Two
There was a knock at the door. Diana smiled, opening it to find a tallish woman with a long blonde ponytail, her athletic figure dressed in skinny jeans, a down coat, and hi-tops.
“Hannah!” Diana threw her arms around her friend, whom she hadn’t seen since spring. Even through Hannah’s coat, Diana could feel her thin, wiry frame as she hugged her. “Good gravy, sweetie! You’re so thin. You’re eating enough, right?”
Hannah put her palms up. “I swear, D. I eat like a teenage boy.”
Diana giggled at that. “Good. Your Italian friend can’t deal with the thought of you not eating properly.” She took a deep breath, putting her hands on Hannah’s arms. “Ready to brave
the wedding dress experience?”
“You said they have alcohol, right?”
“They do! Which is good, because I could use some too.”
Hannah drove them to the shop Matthew had selected. It was an elegant place in a little neighborhood shopping area filled with bright holiday lights. Diana led Hannah inside, and they met with Elena, one of the shop’s consultants, who flitted excitedly about and got them each a glass of champagne. When Hannah took hers, she winked at Diana.
Elena took one look at Diana’s hourglass figure and smiled. “Oh, we have many options for a figure like yours, Miss Fiorelli!” she gushed. “Let’s have you both take a seat in our bridal lounge.” She led them back to a larger room filled with ornate little couches and chairs. “Can I get you some bottled spring water? Or some more champagne?” she added, glancing at Hannah’s mostly-emptied glass.
“Champagne would be great,” Hannah said.
Diana squelched a laugh as they sat down in cream-colored fabric chairs while Elena refilled their glasses.
“I’ll be back in a jiffy!” Elena said before she dashed off.
They took off their coats, and Hannah looked around with curious eyes. “So this is what these places look like on the inside.”
“Everything you hoped for?” Diana quipped.
“And more.”
Within no time, Elena returned with several dresses. “I brought a few different styles, Miss Fiorelli. Try them; you’ll know very quickly if a style doesn’t suit you. And don’t worry if it doesn’t fit perfectly. Once you find your dress, we’ll alter it. Just ring the bell if you’d like assistance!” And off she went.
Diana turned to Hannah with wide eyes, and Hannah laughed, motioning to her. “Get those clothes off, girl, and show me some white wedding.”
Diana went into the large dressing area and stripped down to her panties. The first dress she tried was just… wrong. It was so low cut that, with a bust like hers, the wedding guests would see nothing but cleavage. But she emerged anyway, just to see Hannah’s reaction.
Wild Inside (Four Corners Book 2) Page 16
