“Jiminy Christmas,” Diana said, covering her mouth with her hand.
“It looks like you’re about two months along.”
Two months. She’d gotten pregnant in Nicaragua.
Asher. Asher! She’d been so shocked that she’d forgotten about Asher. If she was freaked out, what would he say? She couldn’t think about that right now.
The tech took a bunch of images of her uterus and surrounding organs. After Diana was dressed again, she sat there, in a daze, until Dr. Galvin returned.
“Well, it’s official,” Dr. Galvin said. “You’re living proof that no birth control method works one hundred percent of the time.”
“It’s just… I can’t believe this. Two years of trying with my ex-husband, and nothing. Now I’m older, have even worse endo, and used a condom… and I’m knocked up!”
Dr. Galvin smiled. “Well, it’s possible that your endometriosis has improved. We took a lot of images and I found no sign of that cyst.”
Diana stared again. “Really? It’s gone?”
“It’s gone.”
“But the endo’s not gone too, is it?”
“We can’t see that through ultrasound… we’d have to do surgery and get in there to know for sure… but if you aren’t experiencing much pain, we can assume something you’re doing is working. Which may explain why you were able to get pregnant.”
All of a sudden, fear stabbed at Diana. “What if I lose it again?”
Dr. Galvin offered a compassionate smile. “You’re already two months along, two months and a few days, so that’s good. In another four weeks, you’re out of the woods. We can talk about other ways to increase your odds of seeing the pregnancy through. I assume that’s what you want.”
Diana nodded. “It’s not what I was ready for, but yes. It’s absolutely what I want.”
Diana went home and called her friends to say she couldn’t go hiking with them. She had too much on her mind and couldn’t imagine being around others.
She wanted the baby. Of course she wanted it!
But what timing! She’d wanted a baby for ages, and the one time she’d decided to hold off, the fertility gods came and gave her one despite all her careful efforts. For criminy’s sake, maybe she was Venus after all, goddess of fertility who only needed a medicine woman’s touch to get pregnant. She couldn’t help but laugh out loud at that. The question was, would Asher find it funny?
They were doing so well. They’d had a great time abroad and were happy just enjoying their time together. And while children were always part of her plan, Asher made it clear he wasn’t ready yet. Neither was she, really.
She couldn’t take it anymore. She grabbed her phone and called Teagan. She thought about calling Mel, but that little vixen had proven herself untrustworthy and would probably go straight to Asher and tell him. No, she needed someone she could trust.
“Diana! Hey!” came Teagan’s voice.
“Hey. How are you? How’s Aaron?”
“I’m good, just sending another manuscript off to the editor. Aaron’s in Afghanistan but he’ll be home this weekend. How are you?”
Diana sighed. “I’m pregnant.”
A pause. Then, “Oh my God! Oh my God, Diana!”
“I know, I know. I’m freaking out.” Diana told Teagan everything—the news about her improved endo, her unexpected surprise, and about their futile condom use.
“That’s amazing news about the endo. Although the condom thing is pretty frightening… maybe I should talk Aaron into getting a vasectomy.”
“Yeah. Do that. If I can get knocked up, anyone can. But girl, I am scared shitless. I didn’t even know I was pregnant. Who knows what I was doing or drinking that might cause me to lose it?”
“Have faith, D. Your treatment has worked and you’re pretty far along now. How long until you can breathe easy?”
“Almost four more weeks. But to be honest, that’s not my biggest worry. It’s Ash. He isn’t ready for this and he’s going to flip out.”
“I don’t know. He didn’t seem all that high on commitment, either, and now look at him. When you find the right person…”
“Yeah, but this is a baby. There’s no changing your mind with a child. We haven’t even talked about our future, at least in any concrete terms. We don’t even live in the same city! I’m terrified that he’ll feel the walls closing in on him and…” Diana’s voice broke.
“You’re really scared, aren’t you?”
“I’m terrified. We hit a big snag before, when we got pushed toward something we weren’t ready for, and I love him so much—”
“Diana, listen. When Aaron and I were dating, I let fear mess with my head. Remember that? And it was all for nothing. The one time there was a real problem, it ended up being a blessing in disguise. Whatever happens, you got this. Asher loves you and he loves kids. He’ll come around. And if the worst happens and he doesn’t, you’ll deal with that. No matter what, you’ll have a child, something you’ve always wanted. Don’t live in fear. Just like they said in Dune, fear is the mind-killer.”
Tears ran down Diana’s face. “You’re right. You’re so right. Thank you for setting me straight, Doctor McAlister.”
Teagan laughed. “I’ll send you my bill. I’m not cheap, you know.”
Diana didn’t sleep well that night. Her mind raced with thoughts about the pregnancy, Asher, and the future. She wasn’t gripped with fear anymore, but it was still a bit overwhelming.
Asher called to see how her appointment went. She only told him the news about her cyst disappearing. He was really happy about that, saying once again that Mariah “knows her shit.”
She hated hiding the truth from him. She just needed some time to process it all before she headed to Red Rim to tell Asher. She begged off going that weekend to visit, saying that she needed to spend some time with her family. Which was actually true. Asher was fine with that; he had plenty to do himself with biking season in full swing again. They would have to satisfy themselves with their nightly phone and Skype calls. It wouldn’t be easy to hide the truth; she’d never been good at hiding her emotions and Asher always knew when something was off.
But the extra week and a half would buy her time to figure out what to say. Most of all, it would buy her more confidence that the pregnancy would make it. Yes, she was scared of Asher’s reaction, but putting him through the emotional rollercoaster of getting excited and then losing it… she couldn’t do that to him.
As each day passed, Diana remembered Teagan’s lecture. If she lost the baby, they could try again when the timing was better. If she lost another or couldn’t get pregnant again, they could move forward with what they’d talked about many times—adopting children who needed a good home. It would all be okay.
And when Friday of the following week rolled around, Diana packed up her car and headed west.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
By the time Diana reached Ash’s house, he was already at home and putting away groceries.
“Honey, I’m home,” she quipped as she came into the kitchen.
Asher stopped what he was doing and gave her a hug and a big kiss. He looked her up and down. “I’m looking forward to warmer weather, when you aren’t covering up that beautiful form in fleece jackets.”
Diana giggled, wondering if he’d still feel the same way when her belly swelled up. If it swelled up. “You went shopping!” She’d given him a shopping list, promising to cook for him when she arrived.
“I did. You look tired, though. We can blow off cooking and go get Thai food…”
Diana let out a sigh of relief. “You are a god. I am so tired. It’s been a long week.”
Indeed.
“The weather’s going to be nice tomorrow,” Asher said, putting away the rest of the groceries. “Looks like the gang’s talking about riding Elijah Canyon. You know what’s special about Elijah Canyon, right?” He smiled.
Diana smiled back. “Of course. It’s where we first met, and wh
ere you first eye-fucked me and then told me I had skillz. With a z.”
Asher got a devilish gleam in his eye. “Oh, you liked it.”
Diana laughed. “I kind of did, actually.”
“You up for it?”
Diana hesitated. She couldn’t risk a bike crash right now. “Do you mind if I don’t go?”
Asher’s smile faded. “You don’t want to ride?”
Diana took a deep breath. She needed to tell Asher. But she didn’t want to tell him tonight, when she was tired. This was important, and she needed the perfect setting. That’s when she had an idea. “Of course I want to go. But I strained my shoulder at the gym and being on the bike hurts like hell. I thought it would be better by today, but it still hurts and I want to make sure it heals.” An elaborate lie. But one Asher would believe.
Asher eyed her shoulder. “Yeah, don’t mess with that. That shit will haunt you for months.” He paused. “Maybe you can hike and meet us up there, or something.”
Diana nodded. Exactly.
Later that night, when they had sex, Diana tried not to worry about the baby. It was perfectly fine to have sex during pregnancy, of course. But even with Teagan’s lecture, Diana was intent on worrying about every damned thing for two more weeks. When Asher slipped on the condom, Diana wanted to laugh. Boy, was she going to have a lot to explain later.
The next day was a gorgeous April day, perfect for riding. Diana dressed herself, kissed Asher goodbye, and drove to the Elijah Canyon trailhead. She hiked up the familiar trail, memories of their ride last August returning to her. It looked a little different now, the shrubs and trees with new springtime leaves, the temperature much gentler. Finally, she reached the intersection to the Grandview Trail, where Asher had waited for her and remarked upon her skill. She looked out over the beautiful view of the valley and its fiery red rock. And she sat down and waited.
As time ticked by, nervousness set in. Finally, she heard voices, and soon a bike emerged from around a corner. Annie. When Annie got to the intersection, she glanced at Diana.
“Hey, girl!” Annie said. “What are you doing up here?”
“Oh, I can’t ride, but I can use my legs.”
“Ash said you injured your shoulder?”
“Something like that,” she said, already tired of lying. “I was just going to say hi to you all before I headed back down.”
Soon, Diego pulled up, followed by Asher and J.T. When Asher spotted her, he grinned. “There you are.”
Diana smiled and went over to give him a kiss. “Can I talk to you?”
Asher raised his eyebrows, recognizing her tone. He turned to their friends. “You guys go on ahead.”
Off they went, leaving her alone with Asher. Suddenly, Diana was terrified, all the fear she’d held off for almost two weeks rushing her all at once.
“What’s wrong?” Asher said, eyeing her from behind his sunglasses.
Tears rolled down Diana’s face. “I’m pregnant.”
Asher stared at her for what seemed like forever, the surprise on his face clear, even with his shades on. “Holy fucking shit. Are you sure?”
Diana nodded. She pulled the small ultrasound image from her pack and handed it to him.
He studied it, face still in disbelief. “Have you had any symptoms?”
“Other than some fatigue, no! I had no idea until I went to the doctor. They always take a urine sample to check for pregnancy… you know, just in case.”
“But we used protection!” he said, sounding a bit indignant.
“I know! Ash, I’ve been terrified to tell you. I know you’re not ready—”
Asher got off his bike and leaned it against the rock. He took off his helmet and shades and threw his arms around her, hugging her tight with his muscular body, damp with sweat. When he pulled away, his eyes looked wild with excitement. “You’re pregnant? You’re really pregnant?”
“I am. Aren’t you freaked out?”
“Of course I’m freaked out! But I’m fucking happy! We’re having a kid!”
“But it’s so soon—”
“There’s nothing we can do about that. It’s not like we weren’t careful. At least this way we don’t have to deal with the hassle and expense of adoption.” He grinned.
Diana laughed at that. “We’re about to have a damned kid before we’re ready, before we even live in the same city, and you’re glad it’ll save us money?”
Asher laughed too. “Seriously? You’re pregnant?” She nodded. “How far along?”
“Ten weeks now. You knocked me up in Nicaragua.”
Asher got a smug look on his face. Then he scowled. “Wait a minute. You saw your doctor, what, the week before last? And you waited this long to tell me? What the fuck?”
Diana cringed. “I’m sorry, sweetie. It was such a shock and I needed to process it. And I was scared it would upset you.”
He took her face in his hands. “I’m not upset. And now that I know we’re having a kid, I want a damned kid.”
Diana smiled, relief flooding her.
Then he hesitated again. “Wait. Is your shoulder really hurt?”
Diana bit her lip. “No. I’m sorry I lied. I wanted to tell you in the right way. And I wanted to wait until… there was less risk.”
“How long before we can feel secure?”
“Two more weeks.”
He gave her a look. “You should’ve told me.”
“I know. But I was scared. I didn’t want you to face the agony of getting your hopes up and then having them ruined. Trust me, Ash, I’ve been through it twice and it’s the worst.”
He shook his head. “No, Diana. Next time, you tell me. We’ll ride the crash together. I’m not your douchebag ex-husband. I can handle it.”
Diana smiled, tears coming to her eyes again. Asher was right. He wasn’t her ex. He was someone she could trust to stand by her. “I know you can, sweetie. I promise I won’t do it again.”
Asher sat down, stretching his legs out before him. Diana did too. “We have a lot to do, and springtime rush is already here.” He paused. “Diana, I know Junction is your hometown. But I love it here, and I feel like this is our place. Would you be willing to move?”
Diana nodded. “I love it here, too. It is our place. I’m done with Junction.”
“What about your job?”
“Yeah,” she sighed. “That. I can see what Red Rim schools has, but that’s pretty unlikely.”
“What about starting your own practice? It was on your list…”
It was! How could she have forgotten?
“It’s perfect,” he went on. “Flexible hours, which is great for when you have a kid, and better for travel, too.”
“You’ll still want to travel, even with the baby?”
He made a face. “Fuck yeah. You said you wanted your kids to see the real world, and our kids are going to see it, damn it.”
Diana caressed Asher’s handsome face. “How did I get so lucky? You’re going to be the best dad ever.”
Asher kissed her, holding her close to him. After a while, they both stood up.
“Can you catch up to the others?” she said.
Asher shook his head. “I’m coming down with you. I’ll ride ahead and wait for you where I can.”
Diana smiled.
And together they headed down the trail, and into their future.
Epilogue
Diana shut the door behind ten-year-old Becca, whose mother waited out front in her car. Becca was Diana’s last client of the day, which was good because she was beyond tired.
She sank down into her chair, carefully, as her giant belly loved to make something as simple as sitting down a real challenge. After shutting down her computer, she locked up her office and walked home. As tired as she was, it felt good to walk. She’d missed an entire season of mountain biking in Red Rim, but she’d done her best to stay fit by hiking and riding a regular bike.
She missed her mountain bike. She missed bumping along th
e rocks and cruising over the slickrock with Asher and their friends. But it was a necessary sacrifice to achieve a lifelong dream. She smiled and patted her belly.
When she got home, Asher was cooking.
“Hey, Venus,” he said. “You look tired.”
“I am, sweetie.”
“Can I do anything for you?”
“Get this baby out of me?”
Asher grinned. “Well, there’s one good way to induce labor…”
Diana gave a tired laugh. “Go ahead. I’ll do anything. That’s assuming you even want to have sex with bloated Venus…” She sank onto the couch and closed her eyes.
Asher came over and sat down next to her, a grin on his face. “You’re not bloated. You’re beautiful. And it’s any day now before he makes his grand entrance.”
She smacked him. “You don’t know it’s a he.”
They wouldn’t let the doctor tell them the baby’s sex. Ash wanted to be surprised and so did she. The old her would have wanted to know, would have wanted to plan ahead for how to decorate and all the rest. But the new her loved the adventure of waiting until the big day.
“It’s a he,” Asher insisted. “I’d bet all my bikes on it.”
“Are you going to go all Mormon on me and want your firstborn to be male?”
He made a face. “No. I’d be happy with all girls. I just… I don’t know. I have a strong feeling it’s a boy.”
Later that night, a sharp pain woke Diana out of a deep sleep. She lay there for several minutes. Then another sharp pain.
She shook Asher. “Ash. Wake up.”
Asher sat up suddenly, like he knew.
“It’s time, sweetie.”
Twelve hours later, sweaty and exhausted, the doctor handed Diana a tiny, squalling baby with a head of dark hair.
A healthy baby boy.
Diana held their son, kissing him on his head, inhaling his beautiful baby scent. She looked to Asher, waiting for him to give her that smug look he got when he was right. But he didn’t. He just stood there, tears in his eyes, one escaping down his tanned face. She smiled and he returned the smile, blinking a couple of times before hastily wiping his tears away.
Wild Inside (Four Corners Book 2) Page 20
