“Someone reported us to the department of health. I need to know the truth. Have you spoken with anyone at all about it? Even a friend? Please tell me it wasn’t you.”
Matthew’s dark eyes stared steadily into mine. “It wasn’t. I swear it. Do you believe me?”
I nodded, rain streaming down my cheeks, because I saw the truth in his eyes. “Yes, I do.”
He gave me a little crooked smile. “Can we go inside? My noodles are getting soggy.”
I followed him into the house, feeling guilty for dripping on the beautiful wooden floors. Matthew put down his food, grabbed a fluffy white towel from the bathroom, and wrapped me in it, rubbing his hands up and down my arms to dry me off.
“When I saw you outside, I thought you were here to yell at me about kissing you and demand an apology, but I won’t do it. I can’t. In fact, I refuse to apologize for it.”
I stared at him, understanding for the first time exactly why I’d come. I put my cold hand on his cheek. “I don’t want an apology.”
“You don’t?”
I shook my head. “No. I want you to kiss me again.”
He stared at me, his eyes scanning my face, before he groaned and brushed his mouth softly against mine. It felt like it had in the garden. Perfect. Magical. I wrapped my arms around his waist, wanting him closer. He was almost as wet as me but still delightfully warm. He murmured my name against my lips as his fingers tangled in my hair.
At first, he was gentle and sweet, but soon his kisses grew into something stronger. Deeper. His tongue touched mine, demanding a response, and I answered him. My heart pounded in my chest, and I squashed any niggling feelings of doubt immediately. I knew the truth. I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted anything.
Lightning flashed through the windows, and thunder crashed as the storm outside grew in intensity along with our kiss. I shoved Matthew’s jacket down over his shoulders. He pulled off my soggy hoodie. My hands went under his shirt, caressing the firm muscles of his chest and back, touching the smooth expanse of his naked skin. I lifted his T-shirt over his head and threw that on the floor as well.
He pulled back from me, his breathing unsteady, his face illuminated by the flashes of lightning. “Are you sure?”
The do-or-die moment, but I’d already made my decision. “Yes.” I whispered the words against his lips. “But this is about tonight. I can’t promise you anything else.”
Matthew’s lips twitched. “Are you using me for sex, Miss Campbell? Am I a one-night stand?”
I shook my head, my voice soft. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
He laced his fingers in mine and brought my hand up to his mouth so he could kiss it, echoing the words he’d heard me tell Chad in the kitchen. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll take you any way I can get you.”
He gave me a naughty smile that made my heart flutter. When he took my hand and pulled me upstairs, I experienced a moment of alarm. His big bed in the middle of the room made this seem more real somehow, and sort of scary, but soon Matthew kissed me again and I forgot about everything but him.
He pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it onto the floor before unbuttoning my shorts and sliding them down my legs. My hands went to his jeans. I struggled with the button, but I was determined and finally got it opened after uttering a muffled curse.
He laughed as he pushed his jeans to the floor. “Success,” he said.
His boxers soon followed, and I froze for a moment, staring at him in all his naked glory, but then he kissed me again, and all my trepidations evaporated like morning mist. He unhooked my bra, and we stood against each other, skin to skin, the most beautiful thing I’d ever felt. When Matthew leaned forward to take my breast in his mouth, I tangled my fingers in his hair and gasped, arching my back. I pressed against him, aching for him.
He pulled off my panties and led me slowly to the bed. He kissed and caressed me, building my need to a fever pitch. When he slid a finger inside me, we both groaned.
He grabbed a condom from his bedside table and moved on top of me. My thighs cradled him, his legs warm and hairy against my smooth ones. His body was all hard planes and angles. I was soft and small. But we fit perfectly together.
I felt him at my entrance and he paused, hovering above me. “Are you sure, Fiona?”
“Don’t stop, Matthew. Please.”
I wanted him inside me so badly. I lifted my hips, and the sharp rush of pleasure I felt as he entered me made me gasp.
He slid out of me ever so slightly and then back in. He was being cautious, gentle, but I didn’t want him to be careful. I wanted everything Matthew had and wanted to give him everything I had too. I wanted to lose myself in him, if only for one night. My mouth found his earlobe, and I bit it.
“Fiona.” My name came out as a moan from his lips as he thrust faster and harder and gave me my wish. I lost myself in him. Nothing else existed. I inhaled sharply and felt myself shatter into a million pieces. I held on to him tightly. I’d had sex before, but this was different. What he made me feel was huge and unknown. When he gasped and shuddered against me, I knew. For the first time in my life, I was not in control. This was real magic, and I was powerless against it.
Chapter Sixteen
Always listen to your conscience
unless it’s telling you to skip dessert.
~Aunt Francesca~
I should have been plagued by guilt, but I couldn’t take back what I’d done, and even if I could, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Curled up in Matthew’s arms, I felt utterly content. He touched me, stroking my arms and back, murmuring softly in my ear. He ran his fingers up my neck and placed little kisses on my forehead. His hands trembled as he pushed my hair out of my face and looked deeply into my eyes.
“Fiona,” he said, swallowing hard. “You are . . .” He shook his head, emotional and adorable. “Thank you.”
I grinned. “I should thank you. That was . . . quite enjoyable.”
I put my face in his neck and kissed him there. He smelled nice, like soap and spice and something singularly his own scent.
He chuckled, and I felt the rumble of his laughter against my lips. “High praise indeed. ‘Quite enjoyable.’ Like a visit with your grandparents or something.”
I swatted his arm. “You understood what I meant. It was perfect. Incredible. Fantastic. Are you satisfied now?”
Matthew’s face grew serious. “I didn’t mean to rush you into anything. I know you just broke up with Scott . . .”
My cheeks got pink. “There is something you should know. Something I haven’t told anyone.” I let out a breath. “I never slept with Scott. We dated, but . . .”
My voice trailed off. I couldn’t finish. What could I say? That karma had intervened and kept me from making the biggest mistake of my life? Nope. I was not about to go there.
Matthew stared at me so intently I felt exposed. “Why me, Fiona? You didn’t even like me at first.”
“I guess you grew on me.” I kissed the tip of his nose with a smile, not ready for a serious discussion. “You’re kind of cute. A decent guitar player. And pretty smart too.”
“Wait a second. I’m a decent guitar player?” He looked so appalled I giggled.
“And you’re honest.” I reached out and touched his cheek. “It boils down to trust. I don’t know much about you, but I know you’d never lie to me, Matthew. It means something to me . . . something important.”
A shadow fluttered across Matthew’s eyes. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I wanted this. I wanted you. So badly. Part of me still wonders if this is real or if it’s some kind of crazy dream.”
Panic rose like a wave in my chest, the same way it had when Scott discussed our future together. “I . . . I don’t know what to tell you . . .”
Matthew must have heard the fear in my voice. He pulled me even closer. “It’s okay, Fiona. I needed to say it, but I don’t expect anything in return. You were honest with me when you came here, and I get it. T
his is a one-time thing. I won’t pressure you for anything you aren’t ready and willing to give me.”
I kissed his shoulder, wanting to change the subject. This was making me too emotional and conflicted, and I hated feeling emotional and conflicted. My eyes went to the skylight above his bed. The storm had passed, and the stars were popping out. On one wall was a giant window with a view of the river. The building retained its Victorian charm but had plenty of modern touches.
“This place is beautiful,” I said, frowning, as a disturbing thought occurred to me. “It must be expensive to live here. How do you manage it?”
Matthew stroked my hair. I felt his heart beating against my cheek and found it soothing. “It belongs to a . . . friend. I’m using it for the summer.”
“Nice friend,” I said, lifting my head to see his face. “Is it a girl friend or a guy friend?”
“Guy. Would you have been jealous if it had been a girl?”
“No,” I said with a scowl, and he laughed.
“Are you hungry? I have noodles.”
We went downstairs. I wrapped myself in a sheet, and Matthew wore his boxers. He opened the bag he’d been carrying when I saw him outside and reheated the food. After he tossed our wet clothes into the dryer, we sat on stools in the kitchen and talked, feeding each other with chopsticks. Matthew did a better job since half of the noodles I tried to feed him slapped him on the face. We turned it into a game, and we had to lick the sauce off if the noodle missed its target. It started out as something silly, but when I dripped some sauce on Matthew’s stomach and licked it off, it turned into something else completely. Soon the sheet and the boxers were gone, and after a delightful experience involving licking sauce off various surfaces, we were back in Matthew’s bed.
I’d never realized sex could be so much fun. Matthew made me laugh, and he awoke a passion and hunger inside of me I didn’t know existed. I couldn’t stop touching him. He intoxicated me, making me feel wild, uninhibited, and just a little irresponsible.
I sent a quick text to my mom telling her I’d met up with friends and would stay the night. She wouldn’t care; she trusted me. I’d never given her a reason not to before. Suddenly, I had secrets. It felt a little strange.
The next morning, I woke naked in Matthew’s arms, kissing him, still half-asleep. He pushed me onto my back, held my hands above my head, and entered me without saying a word. My body immediately responded, arching against his in seconds.
Afterward, he rested on top of me, staying inside me as long as he could. He gave me slow, deliberate kisses, his eyes taking in every detail of my face as he said goodbye with his lips and his hands. I’d told him this was for one night only, but the look in his eyes nearly crushed me.
“Have I done a terrible thing to you, Matthew?”
He shook his head. “Last night was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“I’m a bad person.” The tears slid out the corners of my eyes and down the sides of my face. “I should have taken your feelings into account, but I’ve been a mess lately. I haven’t been thinking straight. I had a huge fight with Scott yesterday.”
Matthew pulled away. He turned and sat on the edge of the bed, his back to me. “Wait a second. Was last night about revenge?”
“No.” I reached for him, but he pulled on his boxers and walked across the room. He stood by the window, his back to me, staring out at the river.
I got up and slid my arms around his waist, putting my face on his back. “Last night had nothing to do with Scott. It was about you and me. I’ve wanted this since the first day I met you, although I refused to acknowledge it at the time.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
Matthew took one of my hands off his stomach and kissed my fingers one by one. “Then why does this have to be a one-night thing?”
“I have feelings for you, Matthew, but I need to get my head straight first.” I took a deep breath. “And you have to understand; growing up around my mom and all her friends makes me cautious. I won’t be the only adult in yet another relationship. I refuse to do it.”
Matthew turned to me, his dark eyes hurt. “Is that what you think will happen?”
“I don’t know, and it’s what scares me.” To my great shock, I burst into tears. I was not normally a crier, but I seemed to weep at the drop of a hat lately.
Matthew pulled me gently into his arms and held me, making soothing noises as he stroked my back. When the storm finally passed and I got myself back under control, I stared at him.
“I’m the awful person in this situation, and yet you’re comforting me.”
He gave me a little smile. “I’m nice like that.”
I put my hand on his cheek. “You are.”
He leaned forward and kissed me gently on the lips, like I was the most fragile porcelain and he was afraid I might break. “You aren’t an awful person. You’re a confused person. And I’m going to give you some space.”
I stuck my lip out in a pout. “Right now?”
He gave me a sexy, lazy grin. “Maybe not right now . . .”
Later, we showered, and I dressed in my clothes. Matthew had taken them from the dryer at some point while I slept and placed them carefully near the bed. I felt fresh and clean and more like myself, but also different. I wasn’t the same person as yesterday. Last night had changed me.
I looked in his mirror, trying to see the difference. My eyes were a little red from crying, and my skin glowed pink from the hours of loving and the warm shower, but externally I was still me. A strange feeling to look at my old familiar face with new eyes.
Matthew wanted to drive me home, but I needed time to pull my thoughts together. Showing up at the shop with Matthew would cause a lot of questions I wasn’t ready to answer.
We held each other quietly as I prepared to leave. He kissed me until my knees wobbled and then rested his forehead against mine, his hands cupping my face. “No matter what you decide, no matter what happens in the future, what happened between us was perfect. Remember that.” His voice held a hard edge to it, which almost frightened me. It felt final.
I nodded, my eyes filling with tears once again. “Goodbye, Matthew.” I put my hand on the doorknob and opened it, although the temptation to grab him and kiss him again was strong.
As I began the long, slow walk home, I felt Matthew’s eyes on my back but didn’t turn around. I was afraid I wouldn’t be strong enough to go if I did.
I texted my mom to let her know I was on my way. She said it was slow in the shop and told me to take my time. I had tons of messages and missed calls from Scott but ignored them. I decided a trip to the farmers’ market would clear my mind.
I strolled around the market, buying fresh veggies and fruits, chatting with friends, and enjoying the sunshine on a summer day. Even though I wasn’t sure what to do about Matthew, I couldn’t seem to stop sighing as I thought about what happened last night. He was right. It had been perfect. Every bit of it. Well, except for the part when I had to say goodbye.
Sally waved to me, and I went over to speak with her. She’d bought fresh flowers and put one behind my ear. “You’re glowing, Fiona. I guess that’s what happens when you’re in love.”
I nodded, my cheeks getting pink. “Right. Love.”
“Yes, love,” gushed Sally. “The best thing in the whole wide world. It makes you feel like you’re floating on air, doesn’t it?”
“Uh, sure.”
She put her hands on my upper arms. “I almost forgot to tell you the most fantastic news. Our Moses woke up this morning.”
“He did?” Tears of relief filled my eyes. Maybe he was going to be okay after all. It was actually more than I’d dared hope for. “Really? What happened?
“He asked for a drink and went back to sleep. Not much but a start.”
I grinned. “That’s wonderful.”
A short, balding man with a dark moustache waiting in line to buy a pie from Mr. Yoder kept lookin
g over at Sally. When I caught her giving him a smile and a flirtatious little wink, I grabbed her sleeve.
“Is that him?”
Sally nodded, putting her hand over her heart rather dramatically. “Ralph. My dream man. Isn’t he gorgeous?”
Ralph wasn’t exactly a male model. He did have warm brown eyes and a kind smile, and he obviously was madly in love with Sally. “He’s glowing too. Every time he looks at you, Sally.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Aren’t you the sweetest little thing? Come here, I want you to meet him.”
Ralph was lovely. Soft-spoken and sweet, he treated Sally like a priceless gem. There was something subtly beautiful about them in the way they touched and the look in their eyes. I would have missed it before, but now I understood.
I said goodbye and walked home, a worrisome thought forming in my mind. If I could tell in a second Sally and Ralph were in love, it would be pretty obvious I had feelings for Matthew, because I did have feelings for him. Big ones.
I’d never been able to disguise my emotions. Auntie Mags had tried to teach me poker and failed miserably. She said I showed my thoughts as clear as day on my face and should play gin rummy instead.
I walked in through the side of the garden, sat down on a chair, and stared into space. I hadn’t slept with Matthew to satisfy a physical urge, although he’d done the job. He was wrong for me in every possible way, but I had to admit he was special to me. And if anyone saw me with him, they’d know it immediately. I’d jumped into the deep end without my floaties on, and now I wasn’t sure if I could swim.
Had Aunt Francesca felt like this with her steel baron? Had my mom felt like this with my father? Could this be what my mom had been trying to explain to me?
Suddenly, it felt a little hard for me to breathe, and my heart pounded erratically, like something was stuck deep in the middle of my chest. I had to put my head between my knees. It was the strangest thing I’d ever felt, and for a moment, I thought I might be dying. I could almost hear the story on the evening news.
Otherwise healthy, if slightly unstable, twenty-five-year-old woman dies unexpectedly of a heart attack in the back garden of her mother’s café after having a mind-blowing sexual encounter with a virtual stranger. Story at eleven.
The Enchanted Garden Cafe (South Side Stories Book 1) Page 15
