Unfortunately the damn stuff wasn't doing the job.
He'd unplugged the phone two... maybe three... days ago. He didn't want to talk to anybody. He didn't want to see anybody. He just wished the jerk hammering on his door would give up and go somewhere else.
The steady pounding continued, despite the muffling effect of the pillow.
"All right, all right!" he finally muttered, throwing the pillow across the room and rising. His head kept a pounding counterpart to the noise on the front door. He fumbled for his jeans and drew them up to his waist. They hung loosely, reminding him that he'd been skipping a few meals lately.
The room was dark, which didn't mean much since he'd kept the drapes pulled. He had no idea what day it was, or what time it was. He didn't much care.
Rather than turn on a light, he felt his way along the hallway until he reached the front door.
He attempted to peer through the security peephole but couldn't focus. He finally gave it up. "Who is it?" he demanded gruffly through the door.
"Lorenzo."
Zeke blinked in disbelief. Lorenzo? He fumbled with the lock and jerked the door open in disbelief. His former employer stood before him, nattily dressed as always, looking as though he was prepared to camp in the hallway if necessary.
"Are you the one who's been making all that racket?" His puzzlement slightly softened his distinctly hostile tone. But not by much. ,
"May I come in?" Lorenzo asked politely.
"Why?" was the bald response.
Lorenzo's mouth twitched slightly. "Because I prefer talking to you somewhere other than the hallway—" he glanced around him "—private though it may seem at the moment."
Zeke ran his hand through his hair, shook his head in an attempt to clear it, then shrugged and stepped away from the door. "Come in, if you want," he said, turning away. "I'll be back in a minute."
It took longer than a minute for him to shower and shave, but he needed the time to adjust to his unexpected company, to get awake, and to prepare himself to face whatever Lorenzo had felt was important enough to come to Washington to tell him.
He looked at the bloodshot eyes of the man in the mirror and shook his head in disgust. He looked like hell. He hadn't shaved in days and winced as he nicked himself, wondering if he'd forgotten how to shave. He reminded himself that there was no need to hurry. Obviously Lorenzo didn't intend to go anywhere until he'd said his piece.
Zeke grabbed a towel and gingerly patted his face dry. He combed his wet hair, noticing that he needed a haircut. Then he went into the bedroom and found a clean shirt hanging in the closet. The shirt and a clean pair of jeans made him feel almost human again.
Without bothering to search for socks or shoes he headed toward the living room, pausing in the doorway. Lorenzo stood at the window looking out. Without turning around, he said, "Nice view of the city."
Zeke glanced out the window, finally registering the blackness outside. He went into the kitchen area that was separated from the living room by a bar. "You want some coffee?" he asked, reaching for the canister.
Lorenzo turned and nodded. "Yes, thank you."
"When did you get in?"
"Yesterday. I've been trying to reach you for several days now, but there was no answer."
He glanced around the room and saw the phone sitting on a side table, unplugged. "I'm beginning to understand why."
Zeke made no comment. He measured coffee and water as though no one else were around.
"You look like hell, Zeke," Lorenzo finally said.
Zeke glanced up, his gaze meeting Lorenzo's briefly before he looked away. He reached for a couple of coffee mugs, filled and carried them into the living room. After offering one to Lorenzo, he sat down in the large overstuffed chair.
"So how did you find me?" he finally asked.
Lorenzo sat down on the sofa across from him and leaned back with a sigh. "It wasn't easy. I had to go over your resume and call some of the numbers listed. It took me two days until I was finally connected to Frank Carpenter."
Zeke had been staring at his coffee during Lorenzo's explanation, but glanced up in surprise at the mention of Frank's name., He straightened in the chair. "Frank told you where I lived?"
Lorenzo smiled. "Is it supposed to be a secret?"
Not a secret, exactly, but Frank was notoriously closemouthed about things. He strictly adhered to the "need to know" policy in the business. "I'm just surprised."
"I went to his office this morning m hopes of getting some clarity on the situation." "What situation?"
"On your showing up to work for me, then not returning."
Zeke relaxed into his chair once more and drawled, "I hope he gave you what you were looking for."
He was taken by surprise once again when Lorenzo nodded. "He helped me to see the big picture. Actually, he was a great deal of help. He gave me enough solid evidence on Benito Perez to turn him over to authorities when I return home. He said it was the least he could do since I had paid the salary for the man who obtained the information. I understand he was part of my kitchen help." Lorenzo's smile was filled with self-mockery. "I owe your government for their help in getting that particular matter resolved."
"Frank was a regular chatterbox, wasn't he?" Zeke muttered, shaking his head.
"Under the circumstances, he felt your organization owed me more than an apology for their infiltrating my operation. I'll admit that being able to rid myself of Perez goes a long way to placate my anger at the loss of my privacy."
"I'm sure Frank appreciated your viewing the matter in such a positive light." Zeke took another sip from his coffee, slowly feeling the caffeine work its magic in his body.
"I'm a businessman, Zeke. I don't have to like a situation to understand why it was necessary. I had no idea I was under suspicion for distributing drugs. When you first appeared, my only concern was that you weren't planted there by my adversary." He paused to drink from his cup before continuing. "Once I discovered your background, I knew you wouldn't have been recruited to sabotage my business. It never occurred to me that I was your target."
The coffee helped to clear Zeke's head. He went back to the kitchen and returned with the carafe, refilling both cups.
Once he sat down again, Lorenzo said, "You were a great help to me, Zeke. I want you to know that. Regardless of the reason you hired out to me, I owe you a debt of gratitude.. .not only for the way you set up the new security system, but also the way you took care of Angela."
Zeke flinched at the mention of the name he had known would eventually become part of their conversation. "Oh, I took care of her, all right," he muttered into his cup before draining half its contents.
Lorenzo sighed. "What's between you and Angela is none of my business, I know, but when two people I care about are so desperately unhappy, I feel it imperative to do whatever I can to help."
Zeke eyed the man across from him. "Are you implying I'm desperately unhappy about something?" His gruff voice once again had an edge of hostility.
"I've seen you in better shape than this," Lorenzo replied.
"I'm on my own time now, doing what I want to do."
"Which is?"
Zeke shrugged. "Resting between assignments."
"Ah." Lorenzo set his cup down and made a steeple with his fingers. "Then you don't intend to return to Monterrey to learn my business?"
Zeke stared at him in disbelief. "You mean you still want me to work with you?"
"Yes."
Zeke couldn't think of anything to say about this totally unexpected development. After a moment he shook his head abruptly, his laugh sounding harsh and unamused. "Right. I can just see how that would work."
"Why wouldn't it?"
His irritation at his need to explain was echoed in his voice. "I have no intention of going anywhere near Angie."
"Why?"
Zeke scowled at the other man's obtuseness. "Why?" he repeated, his voice rising. "In case she hasn't mentioned it to yo
u, she wants no part of me or our hasty marriage. She's convinced I was just using her to get to you."
"Were you?" Lorenzo asked mildly.
"Hell, no! I didn't need to use her for anything. I was already set up with you before she ever showed up." Unable to sit still, Zeke sprang from his chair and began to pace. "What was going on with us had nothing to do with the job I was hired to do, either for you or the government!"
"Did you ever explain that to her?" Lorenzo asked in the same mild manner.
"Ha! She never gave me a chance! She jumped to all kinds of conclusions—" he turned and glared at Lorenzo "—most of which were wrong, I might add. Just because I couldn't tell her the truth about why I was there, she decided she couldn't trust me." He stalked over to the bar and poured himself a double shot of bourbon. "Which is fine with me!" He lifted the glass to his mouth.
"I can see that," Lorenzo quietly replied. "Is that why you've crawled into that bottle, because you don't care that your new wife doesn't trust you?"
Zeke lowered the glass and glared at Lorenzo. "I never asked her to trust me."
"Maybe you should have."
"Maybe I should have done a lot of things that I didn't do." He glanced distastefully at the full glass he held in his hand and slammed it down, spinning away from the bar and going to stand in front of the window. "I sure as hell know I did a lot of things that I shouldn't have. But you don't have to worry, I'm paying for every damn one of them!"
"I'm really surprised at you, Zeke. You never struck me as the kind of man to sit around and sulk."
Zeke stiffened, feeling the steadily building rage within threatening to break through. Sulk? The man had the audacity to accuse him of some infantile attitude when he— Slowly he turned to look at Lorenzo, who was comfortably leaning back on the sofa, watching him.
"Is that what you think?" Zeke managed to say between his clenched teeth.
"What I think is that you have the opportunity of a lifetime to come in and learn my business with the idea that you will take over when I retire, and that you would prefer to throw that opportunity away rather than face one rather petite individual and tell her the truth about yourself and the job you were hired to do."
"Why should I waste my time? The conclusion she jumped to, while not really right, isn't nearly as bad as the fact that I was actively gathering evidence to put her beloved uncle behind bars. I don't consider my unwillingness to beat a dead horse the same thing as sulking."
"I see. It's lack of courage, then?"
"You know, Lorenzo, you're really beginning to irritate me," Zeke replied in a menacing understatement of his mood.
Lorenzo's grin was filled with humor. "God, I hope so! It beats that whipped-dog look you wore when I first laid eyes on you. What's wrong with feeling some honest anger?"
Zeke couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You mean you've been deliberately provoking me?"
"Something like that. More like pulling the tiger's tail in an effort to wake you up."
"I'm awake, you son of a—" Zeke threw up his hands and turned away.
"Angie's dealing with her own pain, you know."
"Good for Angie," Zeke threw over his shoulder, looking at the lights of D.C.
"What happened between the two of you happened very quickly. That doesn't mean that it was any less real than a long-term courtship. I'm doubly impressed that you removed her from danger, even more so when I realize you thought some of the danger might be generated by me."
"Oh, yeah. I just barged right in, in my shiny savior suit, and carried her off on my trusty steed."
"You did what you thought best in a dangerous situation."
"Good for me. Sainthood is the logical next step, wouldn't you say?"
Lorenzo laughed. "Somehow I don't think we have to worry about that just yet."
Without turning around, Zeke muttered, "I'm real glad you find me so damned amusing."
Silence settled in the room and for several minutes Lorenzo found no reason to interrupt it. Eventually he said, "You've never been in love before, have you?"
"Who says I'm in love?" Zeke said to the window.
"It's a scary place to be. I for one have always run whenever I found myself in danger of falling in love. I have a hunch you would have run, as well, if you hadn't been committed to doing your job. As I see it, you have a couple of options. You can use Angie's leaving you as an excuse to not have to deal with these new and very confusing feelings you're experiencing, or you can face up to them, deal with them, and do whatever you can to make your relationship with her work."
Zeke didn't say anything.
"So." Lorenzo stood. "I have done what I came to Washington to do. My good judgment in hiring you has been confirmed. My offer to keep you on the payroll has been extended. Whatever you decide from here is up to you."
Zeke didn't turn around.
"I can let myself out," Lorenzo added, heading toward the door. He opened the door and looked at the man standing with his back to the room. "Thanks for the coffee...and good luck, whatever you decide." Quietly he closed the door behind him.
Zeke continued to stare out the window, relieved to be alone once again.
Lorenzo might be a wizard in the business world, but he knew nothing about relationships. Oh, he was good at dishing out advice, but he'd never bothered to commit himself to a woman.
Zeke's mistake was in marrying Angie in the first place. Why had he been so quixotic? There had been no reason to—
Wait a minute. Hadn't he argued the point that she could be pregnant? Hadn't he wanted to protect her in case their lovemaking had—
How could he have forgotten? Would she tell him if she was pregnant? Maybe she wouldn't want to be around the father of her child, even if she were pregnant.
He could call and talk with her. He could ask her point-blank if she was going to have his child. Lorenzo couldn't be more wrong in his observations. He wasn't sulking and he certainly wasn't a coward.
He just couldn't remember a time in his.life when he'd felt so much pain.
Chapter 11
He found his car in the long-term parking lot at the McAllen airport. It would probably cost him a fortune to pay the charges, tut there was no reason to abandon the car he'd bought when he first returned to Texas several months ago.
Zeke had spent several miserable days in his apartment in an effort to forget or ignore Lorenzo's comments, but in the end he knew that Lorenzo was right.
He was a coward.
From the time he'd first met Angie, he'd had difficulty keeping his hands off her. Now that he knew exactly how she felt in his arms, he was afraid that not even with his renowned self-control could he handle being in her presence without grabbing her and insisting that she forgive him.
He hated to admit that he'd been hiding in his apartment like some animal in his lair, licking his wounds. Whether he liked the idea or not, he knew that he had to face Angie and tell her exactly what he had done and why.
He'd rather face the KGB any day.
He crossed into Mexico a little after one o'clock and headed south. Despite the danger inherent in the many assignments he'd covered over the years, he had never experienced such a gut-level dread. He hated what he was feeling because he felt so helpless. His future was all wrapped up in the hands of the woman he'd been unable to resist from the time he'd first seen a photograph of her.
He resented her control over his life, but his resentment couldn't take away the love he felt for her.
By the time he reached Lorenzo's compound, he felt grim. A brief glance into the car mirror revealed that he looked just like he felt. The guard at the gate grinned and waved him inside. Once he parked the car in front of the house, his jaw was clenched and his muscles taut.
He stood by the car and stretched, deciding not to remove his aviator sunglasses. His eyes still looked like road maps with their multitude of red lines. Zeke took a deep breath and walked to the front door. It opened after his first rap.
"Zeke! Hey, welcome back. It's great to see you, man. We've missed you around here."
Zeke nodded. "I had some business to take care of. You know how it is."
"Sure, sure. Just glad you're back. Lorenzo's in his office."
"Oh. Well, uh-thanks."
He supposed he needed to tell Lorenzo that he was back. He started down the hallway and was even with the salon doorway when he saw movement inside. He glanced into the room and froze. Angie was arranging flowers at one of the tables, flowers she'd obviously just brought inside from the courtyard, since the French doors stood open.
He drank in the sight of her, his eyes darting quickly to trace her profile from her head to her feet. She looked thinner than he'd ever seen her.. .and pale. His breath caught in his throat. Was she ill?
Still hovering in the doorway, he said, "Hello, Angie," in a quiet voice.
She spun around with a muffled cry, knocking some of the flowers to the floor.
"Zeke!"
Now that she was facing him, he could see the dark smudges beneath her eyes. He walked into the room, stopping a few feet from her. "How have you been?"
She rested her hand on her chest. He could see a tremor in her fingers. "I didn't know you were coming," was all she said in reply.
"Didn't you? I figure we have some things to discuss."
Her eyes widened slightly, and he realized that his tone sounded menacing. He glanced around. "Could we sit down somewhere?" Before you fall down, he wanted to add. This close he could see that she was shaking.
She edged over to one of the nearby chairs and sat. He pulled another one near so that they sat facing each other. "Are you afraid of me?" he demanded.
Angie looked surprised. "Of course not. I've never been afraid of you."
"So why are you shaking in your boots like the bogeyman just walked into the room?"
She dropped her head, but he saw the slight tilt of her lips and the slight relaxing of her shoulders. "You surprised me, that's all. Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"
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