by Sayde Grace
He said it was natural to him. It hurt more not to shift than it did to finish it out. She’d always thought he lied about it to keep her from worrying, but after hearing the voice in her head screaming for her to change, she knew he had spoken the truth.
Her body ached just thinking about fighting off the urge to shift. Every nerve in her body trembled with anticipation when Jasper opened the large steel door leading to the training room.
“Jasper?” Her heart rate increased when she stepped inside the concrete room. It looked to be nearly as large as the living room, only it held no comforts. Instead, to one side, there were weight-lifting machines, treadmills, and other various exercise machines.
“It’s ok. I’m going to talk you through it all. Once your shift is done, I’ll shift. We’ll stay here the first time, and the next time you shift, we’ll go for a run. But first I want you to get to know yourself in wolf form. You need to learn your body movements, your instincts, and get used to the new sight and hearing. Like everything else you do in your life, you’ll adjust to it and prevail.” His smile and voice both held more pride than she’d ever seen or heard.
Sidda tried to smile at him. Inside, she was anything but sure. Jasper had always told her she could do anything, but this was stretching the limits. She closed her eyes to listen to the voice of her wolf. The voice whispered encouraging words of confidence. She wanted to be free, and Sidda no longer wanted to fight the urge to release her.
Sidda nodded at Jasper. “All right, pup, what should I do first?”
“Get naked.” He waggled his eyebrows at her.
She put her hands on her hips and cocked one to the side. “Jasper.”
He laughed. “You gotta be naked to shift. Well, you don’t have to be, but if you aren’t, you’ll ruin your clothes.”
“All right, but you stay away from me. If you come over here and touch me, both of us know how it will end, and it won’t be with me shifting.” She grinned.
“You’re right about that, but I won’t touch you. You’ve got to shift, and I need to also. It’s been a hell of a few days, and I’m a little twitchy.”
“Twitchy?” She wanted to laugh at the big bad wolf using a word like twitchy.
“Yeah. I get cabin fever if I go too long without shifting or if I get stressed too much.” He rolled his shoulders. “Okay, everything off, and get ready.”
Her body hummed with energy. Even though her mind still couldn’t grasp she was truly a Luna, her body knew. The voice in her head sighed when she let loose her last bit of apprehension along with her clothes. Sidda’s skin tingled, and she shut her eyes when her vision began to blur.
“Don’t fight it. This shift will be fast and easy. She’s been waiting twenty-three years to be released and wants out bad.” Jasper’s thick voice broke the silence in the room.“Keep your eyes closed and let her take over. This isn’t something you can do. She’s the wolf. She’ll take care of it.”
“Wait, what do you mean? I’m in charge of my own body. It’s me, all of it.” Sidda trembled, unable to stop her body’s reaction to the calling to shift.
“No, your wolf is her own. She stays dormant inside you until you shift, then things are swapped. You’ll be the one who’s a whisper, who only gets glimpses of everything. The more you shift, the more you get to know your wolf and she you. The more you know your wolf, the more dominant you’ll be during the shift.”
“But, right now, I won’t have any control? She could go crazy and kill you?” Panic swelled within Sidda. She didn’t want to shift, not if there was a chance of hurting someone.
“You aren’t that type of Luna. She isn’t going to do those things. She’s a part of you. You won’t do anything as a wolf you wouldn’t do as a human. Well, you might get the urge to let me take you as a wolf but…”
“Oh shut up. I don’t even want to think about that possibility.” But she did. The idea felt so wrong yet so right. Her wolf loved the idea of what he’d joked about, but Sidda shook the idea off. She couldn’t do the nasty as a wolf, could she?
“Really? Hmmm, I was thinking it would be a great possibility. You know, let our wolves get to know each other.” His smirk made her laugh. “Come on, relax. You’ll be just fine, and if not, I’m here to make sure you’re fine.”
“All right, but if things go crazy, try not to whammy me again. I’ve had enough involuntary sleep the last few days.”
His laugh filled her ears, and her wolf giggled. She really needed to explain to her wolf they did not giggle, especially at Jasper. He’d never let her live that down.
Sidda inhaled, closing her eyes tight and diving deep inside her head. There in the back lay her wolf’s thoughts. She did want out. The pressure of her spirit surging forward ready to burst from Sidda’s skin made her quiver.
“Breathe, just breathe through it. Don’t fight,” Jasper whispered in calming tones next to her.
She nodded and breathed in deep again. If the wolf needed to take over, and Jasper would make sure nothing bad happened, she could do this. Giving her will over, her brain fuzzed, and her skin prickled. Bones began to crack and pop. Sidda opened her eyes, panic starting to sweep through her. Auburn hair sprouted from her skin in long, coarse lengths. With each centimeter it grew, her skin burned.
Pain sliced through her face as the bones in her skull began to shape and reshape. She threw her hands to cover it, only they weren’t cooperating. She no longer had hands, but paws. Terror ate her inside out, but there was nothing she could do. Her wolf really had pushed her to the back of the mind. She no longer had control over her body. Inside, her body screamed with pain. Jasper had been full of complete shit. Shifting hurt.
Blood rushed to her ears, drowning out all sound except her own breathing. Bones lengthened, and some split to shorten while she sank to her knees. Putting her head to the hard floor, she focused on breathing and tried to push the pain away and accept her wolf. Jasper’s words came to mind. If she fought this, it would hurt worse. The pain was already excruciating, and she couldn’t take it anymore. Sighing, she let go. Sidda let her wolf have all of herself.
Bones stopped popping, hair quit growing, and the pain ebbed to nothing. Inside Sidda’s small section in her brain, she looked through veiled eyes. Jasper stood near her smiling broadly. His lips curled into a wicked smile showing perfect white teeth. He bent down near her, and his hand reached out. Inside, Sidda cringed, not knowing what to do, but her wolf strode forward. Glancing at the floor, she gaped as two large paws hit the hard ground. Holy shit. She really had shifted. Now what the hell was she supposed to do?
“You are more amazing than I’d dreamed. Come on, you gotta see yourself.” His hand stroked her back.
Sidda arched her back to meet his touch. Strangely, every fiber in her body wanted him to stroke her again. Her wolf giggled once more, and that was it. Sidda had to gain some control here. This silly creature would let Jasper do whatever he wanted. Instead of pushing back to Sidda’s little corner, she willed her wolf to ease back a bit. Instantly, they shared movements, and with each flex of her muscles and bones, Sidda accepted her fate. She was a wolf.
The power of that statement soared through her. Accepting herself brought her wolf closer. No longer did they feel like two separate entities sharing one body. Now they felt almost one. Her wolf’s thoughts were Sidda’s, and Sidda’s the wolf’s. No longer did Sidda care about anything except the freedom and strength she had.
Sidda peeked around Jasper’s naked body. A lean auburn-colored wolf with glowing green eyes stared back at her. Wow. He stepped aside, and she marched straight to the mirror. She cocked her head to the side. She wanted to laugh, but no sound came from her throat. She glanced back at Jasper, who grinned and walked toward her.
Sidda’s energy hummed in his mind.“Can you hear me still?” she asked.
“Surprisingly, I can. You must have bonded with your wolf. I don’t think you would be able to talk with me otherwise.”
“
I guess so. I’m so free and feel so powerful.”
He laughed and rubbed her behind the ears. If she had been a werecat, she’d have purred. His touch was strong, yet gentle, and sent tingles through her. She swore if she picked up her leg and shook it like a dog being petted, she’d hurt him later no matter how good it felt now.
She flexed her muscles and turned sideways, getting a good view of herself. Her lean body was lithe. The hair covering her shimmered in the bright overhead lights. Its length swayed with each movement. Her tongue slipped out of her muzzle, and the bright red of it shocked her. She’d never thought of a tongue being that red.
Sidda glanced to her side, and Jasper still stood gazing. Her wolf wanted out to play, and she had no problem with that. She sat back on her haunches, her muscles stretching in different ways than normal, and then launched herself at Jasper. Her front paws hit him in the chest, and he went down hard. His back landed with a thud on the ground, and she pushed both paws onto his broad chest to keep him there. With a wicked thought, she dipped her head down near his and licked him from jawbone to eyebrow. Inside, she laughed as he scrunched his face and cringed. Strangely though, he tasted good, like warm butterscotch. Hmm, she loved butterscotch candy. She opened her muzzle to take another swipe at him, but his hand closed around it, and he shook his head.
“You will pay for that later.” He wiped the drool from his face with the back of his hand.
He put his hands on her chest and shoved her ever so gently off of him. She didn’t care if she paid for that or not, it had been fun as hell!
“I’ve never done anything like that to you before, that was just wrong.”
Oh, how he lied, and they both knew it. He’d drooled on her more than once, especially during the last few days.
“I might have drooled on you, but I’ve never done that.”
She didn’t care what he thought. This was fun. All the worry, self-doubt, and stress of the last twenty-four hours had vanished the second she’d let go. And let go was exactly what she wanted to do. She needed to run, to feel her muscles stretching and straining with liberty. The smell of sweat, dust, and dried blood filled her nose as she loped into the training area of the room. She stopped in the center to survey her surroundings.
The room held just enough space for her to run in a large circle a few times, but what fun would that be? No, she needed space and fresh air. She whined, her vocal cords vibrated in her throat tickling her nose. She sneezed, sending snot outward near where Jasper stood.
“Jasper, let’s go out and run. I can’t do that in here. I want to smell the earth, the trees, even the wind. Please.”
“Not tonight. Tomorrow we can, but tonight, I want to see how you move. I’m going to shift, and then we will run through a few fight exercises.” His body was stiff and tense, like he was waiting for something to go wrong.
She whined again. She really wanted to run. But then kicking his ass would be all right too. She still owed him for kidnapping her.
“I told you it’s not kidnapping if I took you home, and this is your home.” He lowered his head, and within seconds, he was nearly transformed into his wolf.
When one paw slammed into the floor followed by the other, she moved closer. She circled him, smelling his earthy pine scent. He turned his head to watch her, and she stopped to bow her head. What the crap? Why would she do that? She tried to raise her head, but her wolf nearly screamed inside her head not to. She froze. For whatever reason, she wasn’t supposed to raise her head, so she reluctantly obeyed.
Jasper howled next to her. The tone echoed and vibrated inside the room. Her hair stood on end, and she fought the urge to howl too. He turned in her direction to circle. She stood as still as she could, barely breathing. His large paws came within inches of her, and her heart pounded in her chest. He cocked his head to the side, and his muzzle swept across hers before he licked the end. She held her breath, trying to fight the urge to turn away. But once that small urge passed, excitement roared. Her Alpha had just shown a great deal of affection and respect. She was his, he hers, and he was showing it.
“I thought we’d already been over that.” Jasper’s voice filtered through the haze of excitement.
“Well, we have, but this is different. Why didn’t she want me to raise my head?”
“Your wolf was showing me respect.”
“All right, that just makes perfect sense.” Sidda rolled her eyes, letting her sarcasm flow. He shook his snout. “What now? Do I get to take you down again?”
“You can try.” He growled before nudging her in the side to walk. “I want you to start at the end of this room and sprint to the other side, come back toward me, and see if you can catch me.”
A challenge. She loved a good challenge, and by God, she’d catch him somehow. She’d seen Jasper run before, and he was fast, but her wolf was leaner, which gave her reason to believe she’d be faster. The large room became smaller when she lunged forward, heading in the other direction. She loped toward the wall, and her muscles began to loosen and relax more. Her body lithe, her movements became fluid. She inhaled, held the breath, and then raced forward. She ran toward the wall in a high lope, and right before she got to it, she jumped, spun and pushed off of it with her back paws.
Her front paws landed with a loud crash onto the floor, but before she could adjust and run toward the other side, she was knocked to the ground. Jasper stood over her.
“First lesson, never take your eyes off your opponent.”
“You aren’t my opponent, are you?” Her breath came in short shallow gasps as he continued to hold her down. Fuck, he weighed a ton.
“Right now I am. I want to see your strength, cleverness, and weakness. You’re fast. Let’s see if you can escape.” His head lowered, and his mouth crushed down on her neck.
She whimpered in pain. Jasper had her throat in his mouth, and by god, it hurt. She writhed under him, shaking her head and pushing against him and the floor with her paws. Her air supply was cut off by his unforgiving teeth. Writhing and bucking wasn’t working. Jasper wouldn’t hurt her, not really, but he was testing her. She had to pass this test or he’d never believe she could take care of herself.
First, the bond link had to be silenced. Sidda knew Jasper wanted to test her, the link between them might be private but the Blue Moon Pack members were known to have special abilities. Some could read minds of others, and not just their mates. If the Blue Moon wolves had those powers, then chances were another Pack might have some similar. She couldn’t have him knowing her thoughts before she attacked him. She focused hard on bringing up a wall in her mind, a large steel wall where no one got in and no one got out. She closed her eyes, still concentrating on that wall, and then she rolled. With every ounce of her being, she rolled to one side and continued to drive her paws into the ground and throw all her weight to one side. In a matter of seconds, Jasper’s mouth loosened as he lost balance and fell. She jumped up and pinned him to the ground with her paws and body weight. He could move her if he truly wanted, but with her well-placed back paw, he wasn’t going anywhere. Not if he ever wanted to have feeling in his ball sac again.
Under her, he groaned when her paw pressed hard on his prized parts. She leaned down and licked his muzzle before she clamped her teeth down on his throat. He could still move, but it’d come at great pain, and she knew this session of training had ended. Energy surrounded them both and triggered her shift back to human. He winked at her before his body began to shift.
Chapter Eleven
Jasper could have flipped her under him and screwed her brains out right then. Her wolf was magnificent. Her boldness and strength blew him away. Sidda learned quick, always had, and this had been no different. The shock of having her pull up that steel wall she’d used to shield her thoughts with still tingled in him. Every attempt he’d made to drive past it had bounced back on him.
He’d hoped she wouldn’t learn that trick. Now he’d have to tell her that this would be the
only time she could use that trick, otherwise his beast would stay uneasy about his mate. He wanted her thoughts open to him, and soon, she’d be able to see all of his as well. Then they’d be completely bonded. A smile spread across his face at the thought.
She flopped off of him as she trembled from her shift. Her breasts heaved with each harsh breath. Her skin glowed with a fine sheen of sweat, and her tan held a twinge of pink.
“You always did learn quick.” He laughed and nipped her bottom lip.
She smiled up at him and shook her head. “That was the strangest and most exciting thing that has ever happened to me. Did you trigger my shift or did I do it somehow? I was having fun.” She propped herself up on both elbows.
“That was the most exciting thing ever to happen to you?” He raised his eyebrows at her.
Her face blushed a bright red, and she chewed on her bottom lip. “Well, next to the other.”
He couldn’t resist teasing her. She was bold in so many ways but had never been able to discuss sex without turning a pretty shade of red. The color was quickly turning into one of his favorites.
Jasper brushed her hair from her face. “You did good. I wanted to keep training, but not at the risk of my balls, and your paw had started to hurt me there, so I triggered your shift.” He winked at her.
“Well, my throat wasn’t exactly feeling great when you tried to crush it.” She rose from the floor and put both hands on her hips.
“I was teaching you. What did your wolf want to do then?”
She chewed on her lip a little more and glanced around the room. He walked to the bench near the far wall to grab her clothes. He pulled on his jeans while she quickly covered herself. He smiled and grabbed her hand to tug her to the bench. He sat next to her, holding her hand in his. She still hadn’t dropped that wall.
“Sidda, I need you do to something for me.” He rubbed his hands across his jeans, wiping the sweat from his hands. Crap, he’d never been nervous around her before. Why now? No, that was a stupid question because he knew why. If she told him no on this request, his wolf would go ape shit on her.
