by Hester Young
Though still unclear about where she’s going with this, I play along. “Their actions,” I say. “How they treat you. What does this have to do with you and Lise?”
“I’ve always been the one who loved her most,” Jocelyn says. “I watched out for her. After my mom’s accident, there was no one else. My mom was learning to live her whole life again, and it was too much for my dad. He just . . . checked out. I was the one who took care of things. I did everything so Lise wouldn’t have to.”
“You’ve shouldered a lot of responsibilities for your family, Jocelyn. I know that.”
“No, you have no idea. I do half her fucking homework so she doesn’t fail out of school. I lie for her when she sneaks out to hook up with these stupid druggies who couldn’t give two shits about her. She thought she might be pregnant last year, and you know who bought her a test? You know who stood there with her, waiting for a little minus sign to appear, telling her whatever happened, we’d deal with it? It wasn’t my mother. It wasn’t my dad. And it sure as hell wasn’t the rando she’d been screwing.”
“You’ve spent your life protecting her. I get it.”
“That’s love. Not touchy-feely, blab-about-it love, but real, get-stuff-done love. The kind that matters.”
“Where is she?” I murmur. “Where did you take her?”
“Leave my family alone.”
“If you tell me what happened that night, maybe I can make that call.”
“It should be my call. I love my sister more than anyone. My actions prove it, don’t they? So if I tell you to drop this, then drop it. Maybe you think you’re helping my parents, but you’re not. All you can do is make things much, much worse for them.”
I try to imagine what situation Lise might’ve found herself in to make her want to run away forever, to make starting over the only attractive option. Is there a situation so horrible I would rather believe my child dead than know her true circumstances? I run through the possibilities. Prostitution? Addiction? Participation in a terrorist organization? I’d rather know. I’d always rather know.
“I know she came to you. I know she thought you could fix it.”
Silence.
Jocelyn sits perfectly erect, awaiting my next move. When it becomes apparent she has no intention of answering, I appeal to her better nature.
“If you don’t tell people the truth, Elijah Yoon will spend his entire life with a cloud of suspicion hanging over his head.”
Jocelyn closes her eyes. “Yeah, well, that’s the least of Elijah’s problems.”
“So that’s it? You know exactly where your sister is, but you’d rather just sit back and watch your parents suffer?”
“My parents are the ones that I’m protecting!” She grips the arms of her chair. “Lise made her choices, and nobody can undo them. Not me, and not you, either.”
For a second, I’m torn. What if Jocelyn is right? What if Lise’s going into hiding really was the best thing for the whole Nakagawa family? The truth can be an ugly, unwieldy thing. Once unleashed, there’s no going back.
But then I think of Lise. You can’t throw an immature sixteen-year-old out into the world and expect her to float. Lise’s vulnerable. Even if she’s safe now, she’ll eventually need help. Expecting Jocelyn to single-handedly shoulder this burden is unfair to everyone.
“I don’t want to hurt anyone, Jocelyn. But people are already hurting.”
She moves to the edge of her chair. “You didn’t come here today to talk to my dad, did you?”
“No, I guess I didn’t.”
“You need to leave now.”
“Jocelyn.”
She shakes her head. “Don’t bother coming back. When my father hears about this, your article is dust.”
“You need to tell them. Whatever you know, you need to tell them.”
“I’m not going to say a thing, and neither are you.” She rises purposefully from her seat. “Not unless you want drug charges thrown at you.”
“What?” I stare at her. “What are you talking about?”
“That cookie you ate with Brayden. It takes a long time for THC to break down in your system. You’d still test positive for marijuana.”
My lips part, but no words come out. She’s really going there. I can’t imagine anyone in law enforcement caring if Jocelyn went running to them about one measly cookie, but the sheer audacity of it—that’s a side of her I hadn’t anticipated. She has all the ferocity of a mama bear, which is admirable up until the moment she’s charging you.
I head for the door and gather up my shoes, warm feelings for this girl rapidly evaporating.
“Nice to see you, too,” I mutter, and the door bangs shut behind me.
* * *
• • •
A FEW HOURS LATER, I get a call from Victor. I let it go to voicemail. The message he leaves is angry and rambling, but on three points, he is clear.
My profile of him will never see the light of day.
I am not, under any circumstances, to have contact with his daughter again.
I am a lying, manipulative “media whore.”
I delete the message, a little regretful that I don’t drink.
twenty-three
That night, sitting out on our balcony, Rae and I see the lights in the woods again. It’s half past midnight; we’ve been fighting off sleep for more than an hour, hoping for—and half dreading—some sign of life in the dense growth. And now here it is.
Blink. Blink. Blink. Three flashes in slow succession, and then darkness. That same familiar pattern, although tonight I see no answering signal. Not yet.
“He’s giving her the go-ahead,” I say. “He’s telling her that it’s safe to come out of hiding.”
Rae stands and leans against the rail, inspecting the woods. “You really think Lise’s out there? That Elijah’s been helping her all this time?”
“Him or Jocelyn, yeah. Maybe they’re working together.” Just thinking about Jocelyn makes me twitch. I have no doubt that she or Victor will soon be in touch with my magazine to register some kind of complaint. The fallout could be bad.
“Jocelyn basically admitted to knowing where her sister is and helping her disappear,” I tell Rae. “She believes she’s protecting the family somehow.”
“You think she dumped her sister on Elijah? Just kind of handed her over and was like, ‘Hey, she’s yours now, I’m out’?”
“I think someone is in those woods right now and we need to know who.”
The cloudless night sky stretches out above us, a vast well of stars. I have never seen the heavens so clear and so infinite, not even in the Arizona desert. No wonder astronomers from across the world flock to this island.
“Maybe they’re signaling to us,” Rae says, uneasy about the flashlight. “Could be some perv trying to lure us to our deaths. Your stalker, maybe.” She shifts her weight. “It would be dumb for the two of us to go rushing out there.”
“Very dumb,” I agree. “Downright dangerous.”
“Right.” She lets out a sigh of relief.
“We can’t both go. You need to stay here and keep an eye on things. To call for help if things get dicey.”
Rae tugs at my shirt, alarmed. “You aren’t suggesting you go in there alone, are you?”
I don’t love the idea myself, but what choice do we have? I can’t put Rae at risk, and someone needs to see what’s going on. If Lise’s alive out there, I have to know.
“It’ll be fine,” I tell Rae with more confidence than I feel. “I have my phone now. I’ll call you and keep it on speaker while I’m out there. You’ll hear everything that happens.”
“Like the sound of someone attacking you from behind with a shovel? No way. No. Way.”
The lights begin again from more or less the same position in the woods. Blink. Blink. Blink. Still, t
hey get no response. Perhaps tonight’s meeting went awry and someone didn’t show up. I shudder. What if it’s Lise flashing those lights? Or Jocelyn? My dream could be unfolding this very minute. Someone could be crouched in a bush, ready to move on the unsuspecting twin. My final vision by the hammock comes flooding back in all its unwanted detail. Her hair spilling from his fingers. Her bare back shuddering against his touch.
I have to act now.
“I’ll check in with you every couple minutes,” I promise Rae. “I’ll—tap on the phone three times. If you don’t hear me tapping, then something’s gone wrong, and you call the police.”
“This is your life!” Rae protests. “We are not allowing for the possibility of something going wrong!”
She’s too late. I’m already climbing over the balcony’s edge, sliding my body over the rail and easing my grip downward. If Watching Guy can climb this trellis, so can I, damn it.
“Are you crazy?!” Rae hisses. “Charlie! Get back here!”
I find a foothold and descend. Once safely on the ground, I pull my phone out of my pocket, dial her number, and start jogging toward the woods. The next round of lights has begun to flash.
Blink. Blink. Blink.
Rae answers her phone with a squawk. “What are you doing? This is totally—”
“Shhh!” I whisper. “No talking, or I hang up on you!”
“If I hear anything weird, I’m calling 911,” she warns, but she doesn’t speak again.
I can picture her gazing into the field after me, certain she’s sent me to my doom. Maybe she’s right.
I shove the phone into my pocket, trying to keep the speaker exposed. Even in the dark, the field is bright enough to navigate, silvery grass beneath a pallid moon. The woods are a different story. I locate one of the pathways and enter, but the thick tree cover suffocates the moon and starlight. Not fifty feet in, I trip on a root and skin my knee.
“Charlie?” Rae’s voice drifts up from my pocket, muffled but terrified by whatever thumping sounds I just produced.
I tap the speaker three times with a fingertip and she goes silent.
I have two choices: stumble wildly through the dark or use my phone as a flashlight, thereby alerting anyone here to my presence. Not a good pair of options. I knew going in that this wasn’t my best and brightest plan, but it’s got even bigger holes than I realized.
Before I can choose, the signal begins again several yards away from behind a tree. Blink. Blink. Blink. I can’t see the person responsible from this angle, but if I get a little closer, I might catch them during the next round.
I move in the approximate direction of the lights, my footsteps not exactly ninjalike as they crash through the brush.
Whatever advantage I held through surprise has been lost with all my tramping around. The flashlight bearer knows I’m out there. For a moment, I think I see someone, a shadow ducking in and out of other shadows, though I can’t judge the distance. I hold my breath. Against the night’s resounding chorus of coquís, someone rustles invisibly toward me. My hand goes to my phone.
A light blinks on, this time directly at me, and does not flicker out.
“Who are you?” a male voice demands, but I can’t see his face, not with the blinding white flashlight shining in my eyes. “What are you doing here?”
I shield my face, trying to dodge the intense beam. “I saw lights in the woods. I thought maybe someone was hurt.”
He lowers the light. “You’re that woman. The one staying at Koa House.”
“That’s right.” As my eyes grow accustomed to the dark again, I begin to pick up some of his features: shaggy hair, a lean frame. “Elijah?” I wonder if Rae’s getting this or if she’s already panicked, hung up, and dialed the local police.
“This is my land,” Elijah says coldly, “and you’re trespassing.”
I hold up my hands, assessing the threat this kid might pose. He’s hardly friendly, but I wouldn’t expect him to be, given the circumstances. “Not trying to stir up problems. I just wanted to make sure nobody was in trouble. Who are you signaling to, anyway?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Is somebody out here?”
He pauses. “Have you seen someone?”
“Your little brother has. A guy who hides in trees.”
“A guy?” Elijah’s not expecting this. “When? Recently?”
“Hard to say. Raph’s concept of time is pretty fluid.” I steal a glance at my phone, realize the call with Rae is still connected. I tap three times on the speaker, relieved to know she’s with me.
“Raph probably saw someone over the summer,” Elijah says. “One of my friends.”
“Kai, maybe?”
“Maybe.”
“Any reason Kai would be sneaking around your land?” I’m curious if he knows that Jocelyn and Kai were using his hammock as a love den.
Elijah sweeps his flashlight across the surrounding trees as if searching for more intruders. “If Kai was here, it wasn’t sneaking. We were friends. He was welcome here.”
Welcome, I suspect, is an overstatement. “Your mom was okay with these visits?”
“My mom?” He snorts. “She doesn’t want anyone on our land. Especially not you.” He raises the light to my face again as if daring me to tell on him. “If you know what’s good for you, you won’t be back. There’s nothing here for you, so just go home.”
“Elijah, I’d like to help you.” My words come out in a rush. “I know what people think you did to Lise, and I know that they’re wrong. If she’s out here, please, you need to tell someone.”
“Tell someone? Like who? You?” His tone is a mixture of incredulity and anger. “Go home, haole. You can’t help me, and you sure can’t help Lise. Can’t even keep track of your own phone, can you?”
A chill runs up my back. “That was you?”
“You’re not the only one who can trespass on private property.”
I shiver, suddenly reminded that we’re out here alone, that I have no weapon, that this kid is widely suspected of murder. He doesn’t seem like a stalker type, the kind who would be photographing me unaware and lurking while I bathe, but who the hell knows?
“What did you want with my phone?”
Elijah draws his lights across the trees in a slow loop as if he suspects someone might be watching. “Internet,” he says. “I wanted Internet.”
I play along—now is not the time to bring up those creepy photos. “Well, sure. That makes sense. You must feel disconnected, living way out here.”
“Nobody ever tells me what’s going on,” he mumbles. “Lise always said you can find anything on the Internet. I just wanted to know if they’re still looking for her.”
I can’t tell who they are. The police? Lise’s parents? Either way, he doesn’t sound like he expects her to be found.
“Elijah,” I whisper. “Is Lise out here?”
“You think I killed her,” he says. “You think she’s buried under a tree somewhere, don’t you?”
“No,” I say, although it sounds terrifyingly plausible coming from the lips of this wild-eyed boy in the dark.
“I didn’t hurt her,” he says. “Something was going on with her that night, something weird. But she made it home safe. I saw her go inside.” He pounds his flashlight against a tree, frustrated. “I just don’t get why she broke up with me. She couldn’t even give me a reason. How do you wake up one day and not love someone anymore? And then she just vanishes. Where would she even go? How does that make any sense?”
“It doesn’t,” I say. “I think you’re right. Something was going on with her.” If he’s lying, he’s doing a convincing job of it, confusing me further. “Why are you out here tonight?”
“The lights,” he says. “I keep seeing the lights. I go out here, trying to find them, but I never
do. Sometimes they get so close, and then . . . nothing. No one’s there.”
“You think it’s her,” I realize.
“I don’t know who it is,” he says. “I just know if she’s alive, she’ll come back. We had a plan, okay? We were going to work at Ono Place and rent a room together. She promised she wouldn’t leave me here. And Lise never broke a promise.”
The poor kid. Whatever mess Lise found herself in, whatever crisis she was running from, Elijah remains clueless. He may have loved this girl, but he didn’t know her secrets.
“I’m sure she never meant to break her promise to you,” I tell him. “I think she got herself in trouble and just didn’t see a way out. I think she went to Jocelyn for help.”
“Jocelyn?” He refuses to entertain such a betrayal. “No. That’s not . . . if something was wrong, she would’ve come to me. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He takes a few aggressive steps toward me, brandishing the flashlight like a club. “Get off my land! Now.”
I take out my phone and flip on the flashlight, shining it in the direction I came from. “I’m leaving the island Sunday night,” I call over my shoulder. “If you hear anything from Lise or find out who’s been flashing these lights, let me know, would you?”
Behind me, Elijah’s light blinks out. I can no longer see him, no longer tell exactly where he’s hiding, but I hear his words, clear as a bell, from somewhere in the trees: “Screw you.”
* * *
• • •
“THAT WENT WELL.” Rae stands in the Tree Fern Room smiling when I return. “You and Elijah Yoon, what a nice little chat.”
I topple onto her bed, one hand on my still-racing heart. “I almost peed myself.”
“Yeah, that moment when I heard some random guy’s voice calling to you in the dark? Coulda used a defibrillator. But of all the outcomes I was imagining when you ran off into the woods, this is by far the best.”
“Except I learned nothing.”
“You learned one of the parties responsible for those flashing lights,” Rae points out. “Kinda sad, isn’t it? It’s like he just wanders around the woods at night all lovelorn on the off chance his ex-girlfriend is going to appear.”
