by C. A. Harms
Puking up bile, which was all I had left to expel, was horrible.
“Popsicles, and oh, what about these?” She turned around, holding up those red, white, and blue things that I’d had before but couldn’t quick remember the name of with a smile on her face. “Rocket Pops. I remember these when I was little.”
Her excitement was written all over her face and I couldn’t help but smile. She could be with my brother, in fact, I was sure she would be, but she chose me. She’d been by my side since I gave her the news and all it took was one morning for her to witness my exorcist takeover to be convinced I needed her.
Truth was I did.
Ruby gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, I could get through this, and in the end I could be better than I believed I was. She gave me the confidence I lacked and the strength I needed.
I loved this girl more than I could ever express and again I quietly thanked my brother for bringing her into my life.
“You’ve got to stay hydrated.” The idea made my stomach roll but I knew she was right. So instead of wrinkling up my nose and gagging like most days, I nodded and she was immediately pleased.
Twenty minutes later we were pulling into the parking lot of my apartment building and she was gathering two bags out of her backseat. “I think we should make you a can of soup.” I close my eyes to ward off the nausea. “I can strain out the noodles and anything else so its simply broth to sip on. Maybe a few crackers?”
I wonder if the care Ruby provided me was what it would feel like had I had a mother growing up to offer those same things.
“I’ll try.” Ruby would make an amazing mom, without a doubt. Her father may have been a complete ass, but her mother was a gem. I could tell.
Side by side we walked toward my apartment, and when we reached the steps, I jumped in surprise when a tall figure stepped out of the darkness.
“Sorry.” Immediately the figure came closer and my heart raced. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Isaac offered a kind smile but all I could do was stare. What in the hell was he doing here?
“Hey Rubes.” He wasn’t dressed up, but instead wore a sweatshirt, sweats, and running shoes. A baseball cap turned around backwards only highlighted his strong cheek bones and dark eyes. “I don’t want to interrupt your night, but I was hoping I could talk to Jade for a minute.”
Ruby was an open book. My stomach tensed at the idea of her rambling off that she was going to head inside and cook me up some broth for my morning and all day sickness. Fear that she’d give away all my secrets without the ability to stop, I nudged her along and gave her a warning look. “I’ll be up in a minute.”
A nod, that was all she could give me.
“So her being here with you explains your brother’s broodiness.” When he offered me a smile my gaze dropped immediately to the dimple and I found myself wondering if our baby would be blessed with that same adorableness.
“Listen.” He stepped closer and I was reminded that now was not the time to have those thoughts. “I’ve been trying to come up with the right words, sitting here waiting for you to get home. But the truth is, honestly, I don’t think there are any. What I do know is that I need to apologize to you.”
“No, you don’t.” I didn’t want to hear it. I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that we could ever be more. I’m sorry that I can’t be the kind of guy you need me to be. I’m sorry that night happened, it was a mistake. None of those things would make me feel better.
“I do.” Isaac cautiously stepped closer. “Your brother is right, you do deserve so much more than I gave you or that any man has ever given you.”
I looked away, trying my best to ignore my emotions, because lately they’d been uncontrollable.
“I may not know you extremely well, but what I do know is that you’re kind and caring. The way you’ve been with everyone at the house, the girls, and most of the guys. You fit in, you’re part of our crowd, and I don’t want what took place between us to change that. I don’t want to be the reason why you don’t feel comfortable being there. If I stood here and said I regret that night, I’d be lying.” I shifted my gaze back at him, slightly surprised at his confession. “Any night with you is far from a mistake, Jade. It’s just how I went about it, and the fact that you’re Jay’s sister. I know I was loaded, and that the idea I could remember anything from that night would be a complete shock, but I do.”
Me too, is what I wanted to say, but instead I remained silent.
“Maybe I shouldn’t say this, but you are the first girl since being here that I’ve kissed and can’t stop thinking about doing it again.” I felt my breaths coming faster and I dug my fingernails into my palms to give me something else to focus on. “Somehow after that night, all the things I thought I needed, the ways I’d envisioned how it should be, it’s all blurred. I thought it was just the guilt of sleeping with Jay’s sister, but I think it’s more than that.”
Again I breathed slowly, trying to rein in every thought racing through my mind.
He’d be singing a different tune if he realized that our one night had not only left visions in his head but a bun in the oven. He’d run away screaming.
“I appreciate you coming here and saying all this.” Remain calm. “But I think we both know that had you not been drunk out of your mind and me being tipsy myself that night wouldn’t have happened.”
“Are you sure about that?”
Who is he and what has he done to the guy I woke up next to after a night of dirty sex? The same guy who ran from my brother, used me as a shield, and blurted out I don’t even remember with a crowd of people to witness his confession. Where was that guy?
“I know enough from Jay to know you both are pretty amazing, regardless of the shit hands you’ve been dealt. Your parents’ weaknesses have only managed to make the two of you stronger. I thought that weeks ago and even after our night I still think that. You are pretty great, Jade.” I smiled because I knew his compliment was genuine.
“Nothing’s saying we can’t be friends, right?” The way he bit his lip was severely distracting. It reminded me of that night, our night, when he was hovering above me with his eyes closed. I shook off the thought.
“Probably not wise.” Was I actually flirting? Was I crazy?
“One can never have too many friends,” he said, flirting back. The grin, that sweet boyish grin that I was sure had gotten him his way many a times was killer. “It’s a bonus when they’re as pretty as you.”
“So weak,” I crossed my arms over my chest and rolled my eyes, “and slightly cheesy. I truly thought you had better game than that. But truth is that I now know it’s because your partners are always tipsy, so your lines seem sweet and endearing.”
“No lines, Jade.” When Isaac reached out and moved my hair away from my face, I felt my chest grow tight. “I just think that your worth should never be in question. You need to realize how lucky some guy’s gonna be one day when he realizes that too. Don’t settle for anyone, you should never have to settle.”
Lowering his hand slowly, his fingertips skimmed over my jaw and again I felt lightheaded and my legs grew weak. This was not the Isaac I’d met so many times before. Cocky, arrogant, and frankly vile at times. This was a new side of him that I found myself wondering why he chose to keep him hidden.
Then it hit me, if he showed this side to the girls he’d been with, they would find it harder to walk away. Somehow coming off as a cold bastard with only his dick to lead his choices was better than making any girl believe he was more.
It was sad really, because this version, the one I was seeing, I sorta liked him a lot. He made me believe that the secret I held may be easier to face.
Chapter Twelve
Isaac
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Sitting back with my legs kicked up on the recliner, I stare at the television and ignore the seething Corbin standing at my side. “No mother should ever see that shit.”
There we
re snickers from all the guys as they watched the collage of videos I took the time to loop together. Egg tosses, to holding a dildo, which just so happened to be glued to his palm, oh, and then there was the blue surf fiasco. Okay, so Corbin was bucked naked in that one and you can hear him walking away asking his mom how to get food coloring off his body. It was epic. I probably should have deleted the part about him saying Candy was coming over and how everyone decided to make sexual comments, but hey, he asked for it.
Palmer was pissed at the reminder that her guy had been pretty active in the sack prior to them, but come on, she’d get over it.
Now Corbin and Clay’s mom was blowing up his phone and I had a feeling we’d be seeing her soon. I love me some twins’ momma, that woman could barbecue a fucking tennis shoe and it’d be a dream. So I’d get some southern cooking out of it and be able to witness an ongoing lecture to Corbin all in the same day. Win!
“Hey Ma.” The sound of Clay answering his phone brought his twin to an abrupt halt. It was the first time he’d been silent in the last ten minutes.
Okay, so I put the collage on YouTube, and yes, I sent the link to his mother and my entire address book. I thought it was genius if I do say so myself.
“Corb’s right here.” I chance a glance back at the silent twin and couldn’t hold back my laughter. The guy was turning an unflattering shade of green. “You wanna talk to him?”
Corb looked like a fucking bobblehead as he did a rapid shake from side to side. He even started backing up like at any second he was gonna bolt.
“Tomorrow at two, got it.” Oh shit. “Love you too, Ma.”
Clayton ended the call and his smile made this all the better. Like he’d fucking accomplished something out of this mess. “We gotta get her from the airport tomorrow at two.” Several of the guys broke out in laughter. “Oh, and she said that she is taking you to the clinic to get tested because she did not raise you to be a dirty little whore.”
I lost it, hunched over, loving it. It was the first time in weeks that I felt lighter. I didn’t know if Jade or Ruby told Jay about my visit to his sister’s but I felt like I’d gained back a small fraction of the respect he’d once held for me.
It was a start.
“Hey Clay, do you think Ma will cook us up some good BBQ?”
“Yeah, probably, but you should know that you’ve got it coming your way too.”
“Me?” I held out my hands. “What did I do?”
“She said that no one’s gonna exploit one of her babies like that.”
Ah shit, this may have backfired. Momma was sweet and gentle, but she could also be scary when determined.
***
I was lying on the couch watching a movie, Xavier and Morgan to my left and Clayton in the recliner with his girl’s boy in his lap asleep.
I myself was dozing in and out, knowing that I should get up and go to bed, but unable to force my body to do so.
The sound of someone’s hard footsteps above beating against the floor woke me from my haze. Jay went barreling past us, in search of his shoes as he stumbled and fell into the wall. A very concerned Ruby trailed behind looking slightly shocked. Almost like the time that she and Jay were woken up from a deep sleep with firecrackers and stink bombs. Her hair was a mess, her eyes wide as she too tried to put on her shoes still half asleep.
“Where did you find her?” Jay’s panicked question was enough to make my entire body go rigid. Fear laced his words. “Was she breathing?”
I was up off the couch, along with Xavier and Morgan, as we joined them in the entryway. Jay had tears in his eyes, a death grip on his phone as he waited for whoever it was on the other line.
I looked to Ruby, asking without speaking words what was going on. I was thankful she understood, until I heard her words that is.
“Some lady found Jade lying next to her car in the parking lot of her apartment building.” Ruby’s voice was shaky. “It doesn’t look like she was attacked but she called 911.”
I don’t wait for her to finish as I too start putting on my shoes. I may not have any rights to Jade, but damn it, I couldn’t control the urge to get to her and fast.
“I’m on my way, please tell her that.”
Jay ended the call and hurried outside. He couldn’t drive in his condition, it wasn’t safe. “Jay.” I gripped his shoulder and he shrugged me away. “Let me drive you, please.”
“I got it!” He was beyond a reasonable state but somehow Ruby reached him and again I found myself loving his girl a little more.
“Hey.” She stepped in his path and refused to back down. “Your sister can’t be here to say it so I’ll be her voice. You ending up in a ditch or worse will in no way help her, so get your head out of your ass. This is not up for debate, you are not driving like this. Now get in the damn car.” She pointed toward mine and I felt a sense of pride wash over me. Ruby could be a hard ass when needed.
Driving through the streets toward the hospital, I could hear Ruby consoling Jay. Her soft whispers were not meant for me but even I found peace in them.
Jay wasted no time when we arrived jumping out of my car and running toward the Emergency room entrance. Ruby chased after him. I got out to close the door before finding a place to park. The entire time I was thinking of Jade and the last time I’d seen her.
She looked tired, but still beautiful. I thought about bringing attention to it but I was not a foolish man. Well, not always, but specifically not this time. You never tell a woman she looks tired because that is code for somehow saying they looked bad. Now I wished I would have chanced it, because maybe it was the cause of this.
I joined Jay and Ruby in the waiting room of the ER, and by the way Jay was pacing, I assumed there was still no answer. “Anything?” No one spoke, Ruby just shook her head and looked toward the front desk where a few medical personnel stood. I found myself growing a little irritated.
Turning in that direction, I walked up to the counter and waited for what felt like forever for any of them to acknowledge me. When the younger woman finally stopped socializing long enough to ask if she could help me I tried to rein in my anger.
“Yes, you can.” I took in a slow, calming breath. “You can find some answers about a patient that was brought in by ambulance, first name Jade, last name Grady.”
“And you are?”
Snippy bitch. “I’m the best friend of her brother, who is her only real family and that makes me her family too.”
“I’m sure someone will be out to talk to him soon.” Is there some type of training that taught her to be so unattached to sympathy?
“Have you ever been on this side of the counter?” I was fully aware that I’d gained her attention and every other person around her, but I didn’t care. “Have you ever been the one who’s had to wait, the one treated as though your concerns don’t matter?” She faltered but only a small fraction. “Find some compassion and get the man some answers.” If I didn’t walk away now I’d regret my actions, I knew this.
Chapter Thirteen
Jade
“Ow.” Immediately I regret touching my head. The size of the knot surprised me but the pain that shot through my head was enough to make me pull back quickly.
“Jade,” came a soft whisper of my name. Everything was hazy and part of me felt as though I must be dreaming. The foggy feeling that surrounded me reminded me of that place a person resides when they can’t seem to wake up from a deep sleep. Then I felt a hand touch my arm and I knew the voice I heard is real. “Lay still, don’t try to move. Your head is going to feel heavy and most likely achy. You have a pretty prominent knot just above your right eye.”
Again on instinct I lifted my head and again regretted it.
“Do you remember what happened?”
Peeking through my squinted eyes I saw the soft-spoken woman hovering over me. Bright lights shone from across the room but near me it seemed dim, just one overhead light, and as I continued to observe I noticed a machine next to
me with tubes running off it.
Still saying nothing, I lifted my arm and noticed the IV, and that’s when I began to panic.
“It’s okay.” She once again offered a soothing touch and I froze, staring at her. “You are in the Emergency room at Shands Medical. Do you remember how you got here?”
“No.” My throat was extremely dry.
“A neighbor found you near your car passed out, and called for help.”
Immediately my hand went to my stomach and she followed the movement. “Everything’s fine.” Tears clouded my vision and I closed them to fight off the emotions. Relief, confusion even, because until that moment I’d not accepted that I was carrying a child. Yes, I knew, believe me I felt it daily with my bouts of excessive vomiting, but truly accepting it had not happened. “You were extremely dehydrated, and add that to the overload of hormones, we believe that was the cause of you fainting.”
I opened my eyes once more and noticed the name tag on her white coat.
Dr. Lora Mansfield.
“We would like to keep you overnight to monitor you and your baby, but as we see it, you should be okay to go home tomorrow.” I nodded. “If you’re feeling up to it, there are some people here to see you. They’ve been scaring the admitting staff with their worry. I know they would love nothing more than to see you.”
I nodded, but then it hit me hard and fast. “Wait.” Reaching out, I gripped her hand in my own and fear shot through me, making my heart race uncontrollably. Instantly I noticed the concern in her eyes as she checked the monitor at my side and moved in a little closer to me.
“Shh, calm down, Jade.” She seemed so delicate, so caring, and it helped a little. Until I remembered that I had people here waiting for me. People that must know the truth, people that I had not been able to tell. People most likely being my brother and Ruby, but Ruby knew. It was Jay that worried me.
