by C. A. Harms
I couldn’t hold back, not anymore. I rose up, placed my hands on his chest, and watched as the man beneath fell apart slowly. It was exactly like he said, perfection.
Chapter Thirty
Isaac
I was pleasantly surprised when a female walked into the room where Jade lay half naked. Apparently Dr. Dickhead was called out on an emergency c-section and his colleague would be seeing my girl today. I fought the urge to ask her if she could just keep it that way until the delivery. There was still something very unsettling about another guy down between Jade’s legs. It inflicted all kinds of crazy shit in my mind.
I knew that wouldn’t go away.
But I held my tongue and instead listened to everything this doctor had to say. For once I was able to focus rather than trying to hold back the irritation when some man touched Jade and smiled at her. Most of the time I spent the appointment trying not to punch the fucker for groping my woman.
“We’re gonna move down the hall so that you two can see this little miracle. How does that sound?”
Simultaneously, both Jade and I said, “Good.”
We were both filled with anxiety and excitement. We’d both said that the sex didn’t matter, but secretly I was hoping for a boy. Not that I wouldn’t love a little girl the same, one who looked just like her mommy. But having a daughter was terrifying too. I was a guy and I knew what guys fantasize about. All I could imagine was living a life where every single time any man glanced at my little girl I’d be forced to fight the urge to commit murder.
I’d spend the rest of my life on edge. Hell, I’d probably lock her up in a room with no windows to save my sanity. Not to mention save the lives of many men, because if she turned out to look like Jade, we’d all be in a heap of trouble.
“You ready for this?” Jade asked as she squeezed my hand, regaining my attention. Without answering her, I leaned in and kissed her softly.
Lately I’d spent more time at her place than my own and I’d learned all her little tics and even picked up on some of her insecurities. I’d noticed more than I’d liked the many times she second guessed herself. Or the ways that she stayed away when she felt like she’d said or done something wrong.
It drove me fucking insane. I hated that she’d been made to feel like she was less than amazing.
“Let’s go see our baby, baby.” Gripping the back of her neck, I held her lips to mine. The words were on the tip of my tongue, just like they had been so many times before. I’d fallen for Jade, I’d pictured my future, I’d made plans and they all revolved around her and our child. I wanted to spoil her, I wanted her to wake up every day and know without a doubt in her mind that she was loved beyond words.
I fucking adored her and it only managed to grow each day.
Entering the room, I held out my hand and helped her up onto the table. The technician joined us a few minutes later. After repositioning the screen, tucking a paper sheet beneath the band of Jade’s yoga pants, and squirting gel onto her tummy, we all focused on the monitor.
I watched, fully focused on the picture. It was so much clearer than last time. It was kinda crazy as she measured certain distances, verifying that Jade was at the stage we believed her to be. Everything was exactly as it should be, or so the technician said.
Frankly, I could barely register anything but the rapid beat of my heart.
That was my kid.
“We wanted to know the sex, correct?”
Jade didn’t speak, but instead looked up at me, smiling. “Yes,” I replied. Slowly I took in a deep breath and held her hand firmly in my own.
The room fell silent, only the sounds of our breathing as she once again began moving the wand around on Jade’s belly. Then she stopped and I still wasn’t sure what we were looking at.
“Congratulations.” I looked at Jade and then we both looked at the woman. “Looks like you have a son.”
The whooshing sound in my ears, the heat that filled my neck made me feel light-headed. A son. I blinked, trying to clear the darkness, but all I could feel was a tingling sensation throughout my entire body.
“Isaac?” I could hear my name but I couldn’t respond. Everything felt hazy. “Isaac?”
Light filled the darkness and I blinked as I looked around.
“Are you okay?” A dark-haired woman hovered above me as Jade looked at me over the side of the table. The technician that I was eye level with only seconds ago was standing at Jade’s side. “Can you stand?”
Stand? That’s when I took a second to look around. “What the hell am I doing on the floor?”
Jade giggled and then quickly covered her mouth.
I allowed the other woman to hold my arm as I carefully stood and braced myself on the table. I looked at the screen, no longer seeing our son there. I looked at the technician, the lady at my side, and then the floor as it all played out in my mind.
“No,” I whispered and again Jade giggled. “I didn’t.”
“Oh, you did.” She covered her mouth with her hand to hide the laughter bubbling from her lips. I hung my head, feeling my cheeks heat with embarrassment. Then the reality of the situation hit me and suddenly no longer to stop myself, I too was laughing at my reaction.
“If you can’t make it through a sonogram without passing out, how do you expect to make it through a birth?”
“This doesn’t leave this room.” Arching my brow, I expected her to nod in agreement but she did a complete one-eighty instead.
“Please, by now its halfway across campus and being uploaded to the internet.” She held up her phone, turned it around, and there on the screen was me plastered to the floor with my mouthed gaped open.
When I looked back at her, she shrugged innocently. “Hey, you wanted me to change my screen saver.”
She’d pay for this later. I’d have her on her back begging for mercy. Well, begging at least.
***
“We’re selling the motorhome.” I stood in Jade’s kitchen, leaning back against the countertop with my phone held to my ear. I watched as she moved things around on the screen of her computer, completely lost in her design. I loved watching her work, she was unbelievably talented. “We thought we’d lease an apartment near you and stay put until our grandson is born.”
“Wait, what?” I looked away from Jade, who was creating said designs in nothing more than her panties and a tank top, and tried to focus on my mother’s words.
“I said we’re selling the motorhome.”
“But you love traveling.”
“Yes,” she said and I could sense her smile. My mother was an open book, even from hundreds of miles away. “But we don’t want to miss a second of our grandchild’s life and we want to be close for you and Jade.” They’d only seen Jade over a few Skype calls but it didn’t stop my mother from falling in love with her.
“The traveling was only meant to be until our son decided to settle down. We’d always planned on coming back when that happened.”
“Bet you never thought it’d be this soon.” I didn’t either, but I could honestly say I wouldn’t change it if I could.
“No, but I can’t say I’m disappointed either.” I imagined my mother would spoil my son and Jade. The idea of that made me overjoyed. “We’ve found a condo about thirty minutes from you. I’ve already been shopping for furniture and maybe a few things for my grandson.”
It didn’t surprise me, I knew she’d been wanting to since the very second we told her it was a boy. Mostly likely she had her cart full of things and was just waiting to hit purchase.
I listened to her ramble on a little longer before we said our goodbyes and I sauntered across the small space to stand behind Jade. Rubbing her shoulders, she leaned her head back and I took the opportunity to press my lips to hers.
“Let’s go to bed,” she whispered.
“Are you tired?”
Standing up, she turned around to face me and draped her arms over my shoulders. “Not at all.” Stepping in closer, s
he pressed her body to mine and without hesitation I started backing us up toward the bed. She didn’t have to say anything more, I’d give her anything she wanted, anytime she wanted it. I’d give her everything.
Chapter Thirty-One
Jade
“This is adorable.” I turned around to find Blake holding up the tiniest pair of bib overalls I’d ever seen. “I’m getting them.” Tucking them under her arm, she turned back to the rack and pulled out a red onesie. “And this.”
Holding them out, she smiled proudly. “From Aunty Blake and Uncle Eli.”
She marched off toward the register and I peeked back over my shoulder to see Ruby still sorting through the baby clothes, mumbling something I couldn’t quite hear. “Yes!” She bounced in glee as she turned around and held out a bright blue onesie and a gray one. “These are perfect.” Turning them around to face me, I covered my mouth and snickered.
My Auntie loves me more than tacos and If you think I’m a stud you should see my Uncle.
She too took off before I had the chance to say a word and I was left alone, knowing without a doubt that this little man was going to be spoiled rotten. Not only had Isaac’s mom been going crazy, but our baby also had the biggest extended family I knew. The girls were shopping nonstop and the guys were all already planning out the things they would teach him. Even Emelie’s little boy was excited to get a little boy cousin. I’d never felt more loved than I did now. It meant more than I could ever express that my baby would feel that love too.
“Wow.” My happiness was interrupted when I glanced over my shoulder to see Tara staring at me from a few feet away. Her brows were arched, her lips puckered out in a not so attractive way. Not to mention she wore more makeup on her face than any one person should and I knew it was to cover up markings she’d suffered at the hands of Alex. I’d been there before and I knew all the old tricks. “So that’s how you trapped him, you got yourself knocked up.”
“Excuse me?”
“I was wondering how a girl like you could possibly convince a guy like the one I saw you with to stick around for longer than one night. But now I see that you gave him no choice. It’s stick around and save the kid from a fucked up life alone with you or walk away and feel like an ass for not protecting his child.”
Irritation flowed through me like a hot wave, leaving my stomach twisted in knots and my handing trembling.
“I see that you’re still a punching bag for your sorry piece of shit boyfriend.” Tara and I were once friends, she used to let me cry on her shoulder when I’d been left alone to feel like I was worthless. She pretended to care, but in reality she’d probably been screwing Alex behind my back the entire time we were together. Truth was, I knew she probably wasn’t the only one either.
“That poor kid doesn’t have a chance, not with you as the mom.”
I fisted my hands at my sides, hitting her would do nothing, but I wanted to so badly.
“You tried trapping Alex, but thankfully that backfired.”
“Backfired!” My adrenaline was pumping and I was thrust back into that time of my life. A time when I hit bottom, when I felt like I’d never dig myself out of that deep dark hole I’d fallen into.
“Miscarried, backfired, whatever.” She crossed her arms over her chest and cocked out her hip. When did she become so cold? I looked over my shoulder, hoping that Blake and Ruby were both far enough away that they’d not been able to hear her words, but they were both staring at Tara with equal hate. I felt sick, because I’d never told anyone about that time, not even my brother. It was a secret I’d held, a pain I’d felt alone.
“Guess this guy wasn’t so lucky.” She laughed and I hung my head, fighting off the ugly demons inside. Reminding myself that I did nothing to deserve this hate. She was angry, and that anger was being reflected on the wrong person. She was delusional to believe that Alex actually cared, I was in that same state once. I’d believed all the lies, forgave him every single time he’d begged and promised to never hurt me again.
In a big way I felt sorry for Tara.
“I suggest you walk away.” Jerking my head up, I was shocked to find Ruby toe to toe with Tara. Our quiet little mouse seemed to spring into motion. Blake stood at her side and she too appeared ready to do whatever needed to be done.
“Aw, a little army.” Tara was an idiot, honestly I’d never realized it until now just how warped she was. “I bet this guy’s out banging every girl he can find too.” She laughed, but not in a fun-loving kind of way, more of a sadistic way that made my heart race. Stepping forward, she got in Ruby’s face and both Blake and I moved in closer. “You’re probably one of the many her man is fucking behind her back.”
It all happened so fast, Tara arched back and threw out her arm. Blake and I both grabbed Ruby and shifted her away, and in the end, I was the one that was struck.
My face was on fire, and it felt like my teeth rattled.
There was a commotion and I stumbled back, bracing myself on the wall to my left, placing my hand over my stomach protectively as I twisted my body to the side. A ringing sound filled my ears.
This day just took a wrong turn and we were now lost somewhere in what the fuck land. Wow!
***
The lukewarm bag of peas was removed from my cheek and I opened my eyes just in time to see Isaac gently replacing it with a new frozen one. I flinched the moment it came in contact with my cheek.
“Cold.” The contact point was more to my cheekbone, but the movement of talking made my entire face ache.
“I know.” Isaac lifted my legs and sat down before lowering them to his lap. “That’s the point, keep them on your face.”
A few seconds passed, him looking at me, me feeling a little self-conscious, but forcing a smile to play it all off like I was okay. He’d been informed of it all, he was there when all three of us gave our stories to the cops, word for word. It didn’t help that when Isaac showed up Tara decided that was a good time to once again bring up the fact that I’d already lost one bastard baby, maybe he’d get lucky and I’d lose this one too. Then he’d be free.
A murderous look filled Isaac’s eyes when she shouted those very words, but he’d yet to say anything regarding the matter. A big part of me hoped he’d let it go.
“Do you need anything else?”
Shaking my head, I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the uneasy feelings that settled in my stomach.
“Why, when someone hits you in the cheek, does it feel like it rattles your entire brain?” I meant for the words to break the eerie silence and maybe detour the conversation away from the elephant in the room. But when Isaac said absolutely nothing, I opened my eyes to find him staring at me.
“What?” I could see this going south fast.
“It really pisses me off that you know this from experience and you’re not just talking about today.” His jaw ticked with irritation, his legs bounced, vibrating my entire body. “How many times?”
“Um,” I tried to pull my legs from his lap but he didn’t allow me to.
“How many times did he hit you?”
Tears filled my eyes and I looked down toward my lap. I didn’t want to talk about this.
“You do know that if I ever see him again I’m—”
“Not going to do anything.” For the first time since he asked me about Alex’s abuse, I looked directly at him. “I won’t let my past interfere with your future.” Isaac didn’t seem pleased with my words. The way his nostrils flared as he stared at my cheek and he continued to bounce his leg made me nervous. “Ask me.” It was completely against what I was feeling inside but I knew how badly I needed to rearrange the direction of this conversation. “About what you heard Tara say. I know you want to know.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Isaac
I’d never thought of hitting a woman, never once had the desire to hurt one, until I showed up to find that Tara had hit Jade. She may have been aiming for Ruby, but she’d hit Jade.
Fury. Uncontrollable fury!
I wanted to strangle her, and that only grew when she shouted words I knew broke Jade. I could see it in her eyes, in the way her body sagged in defeat when she looked up at me.
She’d been pregnant before.
Hell, yes, I wanted to know. I had all kinds of visuals rolling around in my mind. Did he cause her to lose the baby?
“It wasn’t because of being abused, I think it was more stress.” I held her stare, my body continuing to hum with anger. “The doctor said it was early, said that it was nothing that I’d done, but that was during a dark time for me.”
I remained silent, letting her talk because I could sense it was difficult. It seemed as if she needed to get it all out.
“Jay and I weren’t exactly talking because he wanted me to leave Alex. I felt guilty for always being his problem, so I stayed. It was a mess. Not to mention my father was off somewhere with his newest fling and I couldn’t reach him. My mother is worthless and I felt like I had nowhere else to go.” Jade’s lower lip trembled and my chest grew tight with the emotions it caused. “Alex accused me of cheating, said the baby wasn’t his. He packed my things and threw them out into the hallway of the apartment. That night I slept in the lobby curled in a corner. It was scary, but I was hidden well enough. He found me the next morning, after he was leading some blonde out the front door of the building.”
I fisted my hand and Jade reached out, threading her fingers through mine. The fucker left his pregnant girlfriend sleeping in a ratty corner while he fucked someone else all night.
“I remember him looking at me like I was nothing. And at that time I felt like it was true.”
“Stop.” Jesus, my head felt like it was going to explode. I gripped her around the waist and pulled her onto my lap, burying my head in the crook of her neck. For a few silent minutes I simply breathed her in. Feeling her chest rise and fall with each breath she took. I needed this calm, or I was going to lose it.
