‘Slow down, sweetheart. At this point I’m still trying to get you down the aisle. So right now I’m not thinking about the end of our marriage.’
Gently, he uncurled her fingers.
‘Is this about your father?’ he said quietly.
She shook her head, then nodded. ‘Sort of. Him and Connor. He was my last boyfriend. We worked together. He told a couple of people in the office some stuff about us, and then it all got out of hand.’
‘What stuff? And what do you mean by “out of hand”?’
She couldn’t meet his eyes. ‘Some of my colleagues went to the pub after work. Connor had been drinking, and he told them—well, he told them things about us. You know...what we’d done together, private things. The next day everyone was talking about me. It was so embarrassing. Even my boss knew. People I thought were my friends stopped talking to me, I was overlooked for a promotion, and then Connor dumped me.’
‘Then, quite frankly, he was an idiot,’ Ram said bluntly. Cupping her chin in his hand, he forced her face up to his. ‘Correction. He’s an idiot and a coward, and if ever I meet him I’ll tell him so—shortly after I’ve punched him.’
She couldn’t stop herself from smiling. ‘You don’t need to worry about me. I can fight my own battles.’
His gaze rested on her face, and he gripped her hand so tightly she could almost feel the energy and strength passing from his body into hers.
‘Not anymore. You’re with me now, Nola. Your battles are my battles. And, engaged or not, nothing anyone says or does is going to change that fact, so if you don’t want to say anything, then we won’t.’
Nola stared at him in silence. She knew how badly he wanted to get married, but he was offering to put his needs and feelings behind hers. Neither her father nor Connor had been willing to do that.
She couldn’t speak—not just because his words had taken her by surprise, but because she was terrified she would tell him that she loved him.
Finally, she shook her head. ‘I do want to announce it. But I think I should ring my mum and Anna first. I want them to know before anyone else.’
He dropped a kiss on her mouth. ‘Good idea. Why don’t you call them now? And then you’d better come into town with me after all, so you can choose a dress.’
* * *
It was the afternoon of the party.
Slipping her feet into a pair of beautiful dark red court shoes, Nola breathed out softly. She could hardly believe that in the next few hours she would be standing beside Ram as his fiancée. Just days ago they had been like two boxers, circling one another in the ring. But all that had changed since they’d made peace with their pasts, and she had never felt happier.
Or more satisfied.
Her face grew hot. It was crazy, but they just couldn’t seem to keep their hands off one another. Even when they weren’t making love they couldn’t stop touching—his hand on her hip, her fingers brushing against his face. And on the odd occasion when she forced Ram to do some work he’d stay close to her, using his laptop and making phone calls from the bed while she slept.
In fact this was probably the first time they’d been apart for days, and she was missing him so badly that it felt like an actual physical ache.
Her breath felt blunt and heavy in her throat. It was an ache that was compounded by the knowledge that, even though she loved him, Ram would never love her. She lifted her chin. But he did need her, and he felt responsible for her and the baby—and hadn’t she told him that duty was a kind of love?
But she couldn’t think about that now. There were other more pressing matters to consider and, heart pounding, she turned to face the full-length mirror. She stared almost dazedly at her reflection. It was the first time she had seen herself since having her hair and make-up done, and the transformation was astonishing. With her dark hair swept to one side, her shimmering smoky eye make-up and bright red lips, she looked poised and glamorous—not at all like the anxious young woman she was feeling inside.
Which was lucky, she thought, picking up her clutch bag with a rush of nervous excitement, because soon she would be facing Sydney’s A-listers as Ram’s bride-to-be.
Downstairs, Ram was flicking resignedly through the pages of a magazine. If Nola was anything like Pandora he was going to be in for a long wait. Or maybe he wasn’t! Already Nola had surprised him, by being sweetly excited by the party, whereas Pandora was just too much of a perfectionist to truly enjoy any public appearance. She saw only the flaws, however tiny or trifling. And of course that led inevitably to the reasons for those flaws.
His mouth tightened. Or rather the reason.
There was a movement behind him and, turning round, he felt his heartbeat stumble.
Nola was standing at the top of the stairs, wearing a beautiful pleated yellow silk dress that seemed to both cling and flow. It perfectly complemented her gleaming dark hair and crimson lips and, watching her walk towards him, he felt his breath catch fire as she stopped in front of him. She met his gaze, her blue eyes nervous, yet resolute.
‘You look like sunlight in that dress,’ he said softly and, reaching out he pulled her towards him. ‘You’re beautiful, Nola. Truly.’
‘You look pretty damn spectacular too,’ she said huskily.
The classic black dinner jacket fitted his muscular frame perfectly, and although all the male guests at the party would be similarly dressed, she knew that beside Ram they would look ordinary. His beauty and charisma would ensure that.
He glanced down at himself, then up to her face, his grey gaze dark and mocking. ‘I doubt anyone’s going to be looking at me.’
She shivered. ‘Hopefully they won’t be looking at me either.’
‘They can look. But they can’t touch.’
His arm tightened around her waist and she saw that his eyes were no longer mocking but intent and alert. Tipping her chin up, he cupped her face in his hand.
‘You’re mine. And I want everyone to know that. After tonight, they will.’
She felt her heart slip sideways, like a boat breaking free from its moorings. But of course he was just getting into the mood for the evening ahead, and it was her cue to do the same.
‘I’ll remind you of that later, when we’re dancing and I’m trampling on your toes,’ she said lightly. ‘You’ll be begging other men to take me off your hands.’
His face shifted, the corners of his mouth curving upwards, and his arms held her close against him.
‘And what will you be begging me to do?’
Their eyes met, and she felt her face grow warm. She hadn’t begged yet, but she hadn’t been far off it. Remembering how frantic she had felt last night, how desperate she had been for his touch, the frenzy of release, she swallowed.
‘We shouldn’t—’
He nodded. ‘I know. I just wish we could fast-forward tonight.’
She could hear the longing in his voice. ‘So do I. I wish it was just the two of us.’
‘It will be.’ He frowned. ‘I know you’re nervous. But I’ll be there with you, and if for some reason I’m not—well, I thought this might help. I hope you like it.’
He lifted her hand and Nola stared mutely as he slid a beautiful sapphire ring onto her finger.
A sweet, shimmering lightness began to spread through her body. ‘It—It’s a ring,’ she stammered.
His eyes glittered. ‘You sound surprised. What were you expecting?’
‘Nothing. I wasn’t expecting anything.’
‘We’re getting engaged tonight, sweetheart. There has to be a ring.’
She nodded, some of her happiness fading. He was right: there did have to be a ring.
‘Of course,’ she said quickly. ‘And it’s lovely. Really...’
‘Good.’ Pulling out his phone, he glanced down at the screen and grimaced. ‘In that case, I guess we should be going.’
* * *
Bypassing the queue of limousines and sports cars in the drive, Ram used the service entran
ce to reach the house. As they walked hand in hand towards the two huge marquees on the lawn Nola shivered. There were so many guests—several hundred at least.
‘Do your parents really know this many people?’ she asked, gazing nervously across the lawn.
He shrugged. ‘Socially, yes. Personally, I doubt they could tell you much more than their names and which clubs they belong to.’
He turned as a waiter passed by with a tray of champagne and grabbed two glasses.
‘I’m not drinking.’
‘I know. But just hold it—otherwise somebody will wonder why.’
He smiled down at her and she nodded dumbly. He was so aware, so in control of everything. In that respect this evening was no different for him than any other.
If only she could let him know how different it was for her.
But, much as she longed to tell him that she loved him, she knew it wasn’t the right time. For there was a tension about him, a remoteness, as though he was holding himself apart. It was the same tension she’d felt at lunch that day with his parents. And of course it was understandable. This was a big moment for him too.
The party passed in a blur of lights and faces. She knew nobody, but it seemed that everybody knew Ram, and so wanted to know her too. Clutching her glass of champagne, she smiled and chatted with one glamorous couple after another as Ram stood by her side, looking cool and absurdly handsome in his tuxedo as he talked in French to a tall, elderly grey-haired man who turned out to be the Canadian Ambassador.
Later, ignoring her protests, he led her onto the dance floor and, holding her against his body, he circled her between the other couples.
‘Are you having fun?’ he said softly into her ear.
She nodded. ‘Yes. I thought people might be a bit stiff and starchy. But everyone’s been really friendly.’
His eyes glittered like molten silver beneath the soft lights. ‘They like you.’
She shook her head. ‘They’re curious about me. It’s you they like.
‘And what about you? Do you like me?’
Around them the music and the laughter seemed to fade, as though someone had turned down the volume, and the urge to tell him her true feelings welled up inside her again. But she bit it down.
She smiled. ‘Yes, I like you.’
‘And you still want to marry me?’ He met her gaze, his grey eyes oddly serious. ‘It’s not too late to change your mind...’
She shook her head. ‘I want to marry you.’
‘Then maybe now is a good time to tell everyone that.’ Glancing round, he frowned. ‘We need my parents here, though. Let’s go and look for them.’
His hand was warm and firm around hers as he pulled her through the dancing couples and onto the lawn, but after ten minutes of looking they still hadn’t found Guy and Pandora.
Nodding curtly at the security guards, he led her into the main house.
‘My mother probably wanted to change her shoes or something. I’ll go and find them.’
His eyes were fixed on her face and, seeing the hesitancy there, she felt her heart tumble inside her chest.
Taking his hands in hers, she gave them a squeeze. ‘Why don’t I come with you? We can tell them together.’
There was a brief silence as he stared away across the empty hallway. Then his mouth twisted, and he shook his head. ‘It’s probably better if I go on my own.’
She nodded. ‘Okay. I’ll wait here.’
He kissed her gently on the lips. ‘I won’t be long.’
* * *
Walking swiftly through the house, Ram felt his heart start to pound.
He could hardly believe he’d managed to get this far. Bringing Nola to the party had felt like a huge step but this—this was something almost beyond his comprehension, beyond any expectations he’d had up until now.
It hardly seemed possible, but by the end of the night he would be officially engaged to Nola. Finally, with her help, he had managed to bury his past, and now he had a future he’d never imagined, with a wife and a baby—
Abruptly, his feet stilled on the thick carpet and his thoughts skidded forward, slamming into the side of his head with a sickening thud.
His heartbeat froze. Beneath the throb of music and laughter, he could hear raised voices. Somewhere in the house a man and woman were arguing loudly.
It was Guy and his mother.
His heart began beating again and, with the blood chilling in his veins, he walked towards the doorway to his mother’s room. The voices grew louder and more unrestrained as he got closer.
And then he heard his mother laugh.
Only it wasn’t a happy sound.
‘You just can’t help yourself, can you? Couldn’t you have a little self-control? Just for one night?’
‘Maybe you should have a little less, darling. It’s a party—not a military tattoo.’
Ram winced. Guy sounded belligerent. And drunk.
For a moment he hesitated. There had been so many of these arguments during his life. Surely it wouldn’t matter if he walked away from this one? But as his mother started to cry he braced his shoulders and walked into the bedroom.
‘Oh, here’s the cavalry.’ Turning, Guy squinted across the room at him. ‘Don’t start, Ram. You don’t pay me enough to take part in that gala performance downstairs.’
‘But I pay you enough to treat my mother with respect,’ he said coolly. ‘However, if you don’t think you can manage to do that, maybe I’ll just have to cut back your allowance. No point in paying for something I’m not actually getting.’
For a moment Guy held his gaze defiantly, but then finally he shrugged and looked away. ‘Fine. But if you think I’m going to deal with her in this state—’
‘I’ll deal with my mother.’ Ram forced himself to stay calm. ‘Why don’t you go and enjoy the party? Eat some food...have a soft drink. Oh, and Guy? I meant what I said about treating my mother with respect.’
Grumbling, still avoiding Ram’s eyes, Guy stumbled from the room.
Heart aching, Ram stared across the room to where his mother sat crying on the bed. Crossing the room, he crouched down in front of her and stroked her hair away from her face.
‘Don’t worry about him. He’s been drinking, that’s all. And he’s had to get up before noon to make a couple of phone calls so he’s probably exhausted.’
She tried to smile through her tears. ‘That must be it.’
‘It is. Now, here. Take this.’ Reaching into his pocket, Ram pulled out a handkerchief and held it out to her. ‘It’s clean. I promise.’
Taking the handkerchief, Pandora wiped her eyes carefully. ‘I just wanted it to be perfect, Ramsay. For one night.’
‘And it is. Everyone’s having a wonderful time.’
She shook her head, pressing her hand against his. ‘You’re not. You’ll say you are, but I know you’re not.’
Ram swallowed. Whenever his mother and Guy argued there was a pattern. She would get angry, then cry, and then she would redo her make-up and carry on as if nothing had happened. But tonight was different, for he could never remember her talking about him or his feelings.
He looked at her uncertainly. ‘You’re right—normally. But it’s different tonight. I really am enjoying myself.’
His mother smiled.
‘That’s because of Nola. She’s the difference and you’re different with her. Happier.’ She squeezed his hand. ‘I was happy like that when I found out I was pregnant with you. I know it sounds crazy, but when that line turned blue I just sat and looked at it, and those few hours when it was just you and me were the happiest of my life. I knew then that you’d be handsome and smart and strong.’
A tear rolled down her cheek.
‘I just wish I’d been stronger.’
Ram dragged a hand through his hair. He felt her pain like a weight. ‘You were strong, Mother.’
Shaking her head, she let the tears fall. ‘I should never have married Guy. I should have had
the courage to stand up to your grandfather. I should have waited for someone who wanted me and loved me for who I was.’
Looking up into Ram’s eyes, she twisted her lips.
‘But I was scared to give all this up. So I settled for a man who was paid to marry me and a marriage that’s made me feel trapped and humiliated for thirty years.’
She bit her lip.
‘I’m sorry, darling, for acting so selfishly, and for blaming you.’
Ram couldn’t breathe.
His mother was apologising.
For so long he’d been so angry with her. Never to her face, because despite everything—the hysterics, the way she lashed out at him when she was upset—he loved her desperately. Instead he’d deliberately, repeatedly, and publicly scorned the very idea of becoming a husband and a father.
And he’d done that to punish her. For giving him a ‘father’ like Guy, for making choices that had taken away his choices, even though she’d been little more than a child herself.
‘Don’t,’ he whispered. ‘It wasn’t your fault.’
‘It was. It is.’ Reaching out, Pandora gently stroked his face. ‘And I can’t change the past. But I don’t want you to repeat my mistakes. Promise me, Ramsay, that you won’t do what Guy and I did. Relationships can’t be forced. There has to be love.’
‘I know.’
He spoke mechanically, but inside he felt hollow, for he knew his mother was right. Relationships couldn’t be forced—and yet wasn’t that exactly what he’d done to Nola? Right from the start he’d been intent on having his own way—overriding her at every turn, kidnapping her at the airport, pressuring her to get married.
He’d even ‘persuaded’ her into announcing their engagement tonight, despite knowing that she was nervous about taking that step.
His breath felt like lead in his throat. Whatever he might like to believe, the facts were undeniable. Nola wasn’t marrying him through choice or love. Just like his mother, for her it would be a marriage of convenience. A marriage of duty.
Gazing into his mother’s tear-stained face, he made up his mind.
He’d never wanted anything more than to give his child a secure home, a future, a name. But he couldn’t marry Nola.
Now all he needed to do was find her and tell her that as soon as possible.
Kidnapped for the Tycoon's Baby Page 15
