“Where’s yours?” she said, looking around.
“That’s the last one. I guess we miscounted.”
“You need one, too. You can’t just get in like that.” She glanced at the churning water.
He shrugged. “I’ve done this hundreds of times. I’ll be fine.”
“Have you ever done it without a vest?”
“I promise not to die.”
She laughed. “Okay, if you promise.”
He grinned, kissed the tip of her nose, and then jogged over to Ethan, calling out a question that had to do with some kayaking term she’d never heard before.
She murmured to Erika, “Kayaks don’t really…roll over, do they?” She shuddered, thinking of something she’d read on her BlackBerry before she’d fallen asleep in the SUV earlier.
Erika squeezed her shoulder and said with a grin in her tone, “Only if you want them to.”
“Great,” Whitney said, staring down at the turbulent water again.
Erika laughed and tugged at her hand. “It’ll be fun.”
She sure hoped so.
* * *
Once they were done with the river and back at the campsite, Whitney sat by the fire Ethan and Chace had started with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She’d really had a great time. Chace had been right. Being out there had been kind of exhilarating, and she definitely hadn’t thought about the firm at all while she’d been tucked into a kayak with Chace, out on the rapids.
Chace had hiked down to the cars to get something. Some of the others were napping. Ethan came out of his tent and sat next to her.
“You know, I never really thought he’d get over Kelly this quickly, but it seems he has,” Ethan said. “He’s really crazy about you.”
“You think so?” Whitney smiled, remembering how sure and solid Chace had felt behind her in the kayak earlier. She’d felt so safe in there with him. That was saying a lot, considering how formidable kayaking the rapids had seemed before they got out there. Chace had been so capable and confident the whole time.
Ethan nodded. “I’ve known him for a long time. Trust me.”
Whitney stared at the bright orange and yellow flames, listened to the crackle of the wood.
“He’s like a brother to me. I want to see him with someone who makes him happy.” He rubbed his hands together and held them out toward the fire. “You seem to do that.”
“I care about him. A lot.” Her heart jumped a little after admitting that. It was true, but she hadn’t said it aloud to anybody. Not to Erika or Rob. Not even to Chace—not really.
“Yeah. I can tell. I’m glad.”
“You think he still cares about Kelly?” She turned to him. “You’d know. You’re his best friend.”
Ethan swallowed hard and kept his eyes on his hands. “I think you have nothing to worry about when it comes to her.” He turned and looked directly at her. “I mean that.”
He seemed so desperate for her to believe him. Hopefully, it was just concern for Chace that made him seem that way.
* * *
That night Whitney and Chace lay next to each other in their sleeping bags. He turned on his side and propped his head up with his hand so that he could look down at her.
“Did you have a good time today?” he asked.
“Great time,” she said, reaching for his hand. He gave it. She pulled it to her chest and interlocked their fingers. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. “You’ve been kind of quiet this evening.” She’d noticed him arguing with Ethan earlier. Ever since then, he hadn’t said much.
“Yeah,” he said.
“Everything okay?”
“Oh. Yeah.”
“You sure?”
He leaned close and kissed her neck. “It’s gonna get cold tonight.”
“Is it?”
“Yeah. And I don’t think you want to be in there all alone when it does.” He unzipped her sleeping bag.
“What are you doing?”
“We should share our sleeping bags with each other.” He climbed out of his sleeping bag.
“There are people right outside.”
He chuckled. “They aren’t ‘right outside.’ Besides, the tent’s not see-through.” He reached under her shirt, touching her bare skin. She shivered with pleasure.
“I guess you’re right about that.” She let him slip her shirt over her head.
“I’m definitely right about that.” He rubbed his thumb over the fabric of her bra, teasing her nipples.
She moaned and moved closer to him.
“This is all I’ve been thinking about all day,” he said.
“But you still haven’t told me…oh. That feels good,” she said. He slid her pants down her legs and pulled her panties aside. Then, after pushing his own pants down, he was inside of her, pushing hard against her. She needed him, and he seemed to sense that, going harder and deeper until she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out for him. Hoping he would never stop, she dug her fingernails into his shoulders, grabbed the fabric of his T-shirt in her fists.
His breathing was ragged in her ear. She wrapped her legs around him, wanting to pull him as close as possible to her. In that moment, she forgot about everything except for the fact that she had to have him.
Chapter 26: Not in a Million Years
Whitney had a great weekend in the mountains, but the week following was a rocky one. Of course, there was the disaster of having to work with Kim after that horrible eval. Her mom was embroiled in drama with Aunt Cheryl. Apparently Jo needed some plumbing work done in the guest bathroom, and Aunt Cheryl’s boyfriend was a handyman. Jo didn’t want him to do it, and that was causing trouble between Jo and Aunt Cheryl.
Thank goodness the work week was over because it had been a particularly heinous one. She’d noticed several subtle but unmistakable snubs from partners who’d generally been friendly to her before. She was one of the few senior associates going for partner who hadn’t been invited to the Nationals game that afternoon, for one thing. And there’d been other things, too—missing lunch invites, meetings she found out about after the fact, and cold shoulders. Plus, Kim always had a discouraging word for her.
She hoped Chace would be there when she got home. He spent more time at her place than he did at his lately. Seeing him was getting to be the only bright spot in her life, even though Kim’s words about not having time for relationships constantly nagged at the back of her mind.
With heavy steps matching her morose thoughts, she trudged home from the metro stop.
When she opened the front door, she spied Chace in the kitchen. He was making chicken salad out of leftover rotisserie chicken she’d brought home the night before.
“Thank goodness you’re here,” Whitney said, going straight into the kitchen without even taking off her coat and wrapping her arms around him.
“Hey, you okay?” He hugged her back and kissed the top of her head.
“I just had a crappy day. Week. Everything.” Whitney murmured her words into his shirt, breathing in deeply the scent of his cologne mixed with that of the spices and herbs that still hung in the air.
“I’m sorry,” he said, rubbing her back through the coat.
She reached up and kissed him fiercely. She led him to the living room without ever separating their lips. She tossed her coat aside and pulled him down to the couch with her.
“I need you so much. When I’m with you, nothing else matters. And I need that,” Whitney whispered, holding him close. He kissed her. She deepened the kiss, hungry for him. She pushed him back on the couch and pressed her body to his.
He caressed her neck and then the tops of her shoulders, but his mouth remained on hers. She pressed her body to his, needing to feel how much he wanted her.
She pulled back a little. She traced his lips with her fingers, letting them migrate across his jaw line, back to his ears. He was always there for her. He was always what she needed. She thought back to the past weekend in the mountains.
To what she’d shared with Chace and to what Ethan had told her. She couldn’t hold herself back from saying it any longer and wondered why she’d done so for so long in the first place. “I love you, Chace. So much.”
Chace’s Adam’s apple worked wildly in his throat, and a panicked look grew in his eyes. For one horrible moment, she thought she’d said the wrong thing. Then he said, “I love you, too.”
She kissed him, and he didn’t kiss back as fully as he had earlier. “Is something wrong?” She smoothed his hair back from his temple with her finger as she spoke.
Chace sat up and pulled her onto his lap. He gave her a troubled look. “I have something to tell you. I should have told you a long time ago.” He put his arm around her waist, but he averted his eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t. But after what you just said…it can’t wait any longer.”
Whitney tried to get off his lap, but he tightened his hold on her. Panic swept over her. She couldn’t take more disappointment that day. She was at maximum capacity. He was scaring her. “What is it?”
Chace took her hands in his. “Kelly’s pregnant. And it might be mine.”
Whitney pulled her hands from his. “What?”
“She got pregnant before we broke up. She was—with both of us during that time. I didn’t know about him. We were having unprotected sex. She was supposed to be on the pill.” He took a deep breath and relaxed his hold on her waist. “She told me right after New Year’s. I was afraid that if I told you then, it would scare you off.”
“That was my decision to make.” Whitney got off the couch and started pacing the living room. “She’s—she’s pregnant? You’ve known for two months? And you didn’t say one word to me?” She wanted to scream, but she repressed the urge. “Not one word.”
“She goes to the doctor next week. She’s gonna have a test so we know whose it is.” Chace ran his hands through his hair.
“And you were going to tell me when? Were you just going to show up one day at my door, bouncing a baby on your hip and say, ‘surprise, I’m a father?’ ” She’d almost risked everything for him. What a fool she’d been.
“I was looking for a way to tell you, but nothing ever seemed right.”
“Well, hiding it from me sure wasn’t.” She walked across the room. “Why would you do this?”
“None of this changes how I feel about you.”
“How do you know how you’ll feel once that baby’s born if it’s yours? How do you know you won’t want to be a happy family?”
“See? This is what I wanted to avoid.” He jumped up from the couch. “Kelly and I are done, and I knew you’d start this dumb stuff about me supposedly having leftover feelings for her.”
“It’s not dumb. You were together for—”
“Two years. Yes. I know. Do you know how often you say that? I should start keeping count.” He laughed bitterly. “That doesn’t matter. I only want to be with you.”
“You still shouldn’t have hidden this. You should have let me make the decision.”
“And risk losing you forever over some idea you’ve concocted in your head that has absolutely no basis in reality?”
“It was selfish of you to decide what I should know and what I shouldn’t.”
“And it’s selfish of you to always put your job first. That job comes before everything in life for you. Including me or—well—anyone else. Besides, you’re short-sighted when it comes to Kelly. Maybe if you ever listened instead of assuming you know every thought I’m going to have before I have it, I wouldn’t have been so hesitant to tell you.”
“So now it’s my fault?”
“I’m just saying you should listen to somebody besides yourself sometimes.”
What right did he have to judge her? “Get out. I don’t want you or your babies or your lies. Any of it.” She held the door open and pointed into the hallway.
“You know I’m right. That’s why you’re so pissed.” Chace grabbed his camera bag and coat as he spoke.
“I know you’re an ass.” She slammed the door after him.
She refused to feel bad about it. She’d almost ruined her life because of him. Now she knew the right decision to make. He was no longer clouding her judgment.
She had to work harder. Of course she wanted to be a partner. Her job was what mattered. That and the people who depended on her. Not some lying, stupid man who didn’t even live in the real world.
She couldn’t stay there. She couldn’t stand the sight of her condo. Plus, if she wanted to get back in Kim’s good graces, she had a lot of work to do.
She gathered her things, including a pillow for the cot she kept in her office and a change of clothes. She would shower at her firm’s gym. She would get in a good workout, too. Between that and pulling an all-nighter, she should feel much closer to her old self and have a much better outlook on life soon.
Chapter 27: The Test
Kelly asked Chace to go with her to the doctor. She didn’t want to go alone. Even Amy didn’t know—no one knew except her, the doctor, and Chace. And of course she couldn’t ask Hank. At first, Chace had said no. But after his blow-up with Whitney, he decided he might as well.
It would probably be kind of cruel to let Kelly go through that alone anyway. She really had seemed scared the few times he talked to her on the phone. And he guessed he was scared, too. At least they could be scared together. Plus, he had to get his DNA to the doctor somehow. It seemed stupid to make a separate trip down there just to do that.
They met in Richmond, since that was where her doctor was. He parked, checked in with the nurse, and sat tensely next to her until he was called back to give his DNA sample.
The waiting room was drab, full of browns and grays. Two other women were there. One wore a hoodie and the hood kept her face from view. The other one was obviously pregnant and she kept yelling at her two kids to calm down. They ignored her and wreaked havoc in the waiting room instead.
After getting his cheek swabbed, Chace went back into the waiting room and sat next to Kelly. She was wringing her hands in her lap. She wore a loose-fitting sweater and baggy jeans. He’d never seen her in anything that wasn’t slim-fitting and designer. It was kind of jarring.
“So, what have you been telling him? He’s had to notice by now,” Chace said.
Kelly shrugged. “That it’s winter weight and I need to get my butt back in the gym. I’ve been faking my period. Now that we live together, it’s an issue, I guess. I don’t know if he pays attention to such things, but just in case.”
“So how are you going to explain it if you are? Surprise, I’m not fat, I’m pregnant? Just kidding?”
“I mean, I’ll just tell him I didn’t know I was, I guess. I’ll worry about that later,” Kelly said, rubbing her hand over her chin. “Right now, I just want to get through taking the test.” She looked tired. Faded.
Chace sighed, pressing his hands to his eyes.
“And what did you tell your girlfriend about you being here?” Kelly asked. She sounded a little bitter when she said the word “girlfriend.”
“She doesn’t know. She doesn’t care. We broke up. Happy?”
Kelly put her hand on his knee. “Despite what you want to believe about me, Chace, I really do want you to be happy. You deserve it.”
Sure she did. He grumbled a reply. Luckily, the nurse called them back at that moment, and he didn’t have to worry about her pestering him for a real response. The doctor was very nice. He explained the test to them before performing it. Chace held Kelly’s hand when he inserted the needle, because she’d always hated those.
Afterwards Chace took her to McDonalds, which she’d always hated before but now claimed to crave. She devoured more food than he’d ever seen her eat in her life while he watched, sipping on a cup of coffee. He’d mostly lost his appetite ever since his fight with Whitney.
Kelly looked at him after polishing off her third Big N’ Tasty. “It’s pretty late. And it’s cold and raining and you look exhausted. I
don’t think you should drive back to D.C. tonight.”
He hunched over and finished his coffee with one long gulp. “I wasn’t planning on it.”
Kelly gave him a look similar to the one she’d given her meal a little while ago. “We could get a room together. I could go back to River Run tomorrow.”
Chace raised his eyebrows. “I don’t think that’d be a good idea. In fact, I think it’d be a really, really bad one.”
“We wouldn’t have to do anything. Unless you wanted to. You know, for old time’s sake. I just want to spend some time with you. I miss you.” She touched his arm.
He moved out of her range and slipped out of the booth, getting to his feet. “Uh, no. That’s not going to happen.”
“Don’t you miss me?”
“Not like that, I don’t. You made your decision. In retrospect, it’s probably the best one for both of us.”
“Nobody’ll have to know. I mean, you broke up with her anyway.”
“That’s not the point. Besides, you’re still in a relationship. And anyway, that’s not the point. That part of our relationship? Over.” Chace put extra emphasis on both syllables of the last word he spoke.
“We might have a baby together. You can’t get rid of me completely.”
“I explained to you already that, if it’s mine, the baby is the one and only link I have with you.”
“But we were so good together.” She pouted.
“Key word being ‘were.’ ”
“So you’re going to stay all alone at a motel tonight?”
“No. I’m going to Ethan’s.”
“Ethan.” She rolled her eyes.
“Yes, Ethan. My friend.” He saw why Ethan had never liked Kelly. He began to wonder if she had ever made a move on his best friend. She was quite the poly-amorous type, apparently. Or maybe it was the pregnancy hormones. Either way, he had to get away from her.
“Well, fine. I guess I’ll let you know when I get the results,” Kelly said, glaring at him.
Holding Her Breath (Indigo) Page 21
