by Blue Saffire
Susan’s gaze, though warm, held a piercing quality to it, and it left Melia feeling naked and threatened. This woman had Luka’s affections, and Melia couldn’t help but feel the primordial competitiveness that has existed between women competing for the same man since time immemorial. She was fully aware of the ridiculousness of this feeling since she had shared nothing with Luka.
“Hi. I’m Susan.” She clasped Melia’s hand with both of her thin ones. “You must be Melia.”
Melia nodded, feeling out of place, skittish.
Susan’s smile spread across her face and shone from her eyes. “Welcome to our home, I hope you like your new room!”
“Yes, it’s beautiful. It’s more than I could have hoped for.”
“That’s great to hear. I know Luka will be sad to not have his ‘special place’ anymore, but I for one am so glad that you’re here.” Susan sat on the corner of the bed and clutched her chest for a second surveying Melia. “You’re even prettier than the picture that came with your file,”
The woman was direct; her words were blunt, but gently given. The kindness shamed Melia and she flushed and mumbled a thank you. She became acutely aware of her dirty overalls, the bandana that held her hair back and out of her face while she had been moving. The words seemed so genuine and Melia wondered if this woman could be for real. “Not even all the dust and grime in the world could dull your shine.”
The words startled her, and Susan gently laughed at Melia’s surprise. “Luka says I’m a mind reader.” Susan arched an eyebrow and smiled devilishly. “Maybe I am a witch.”
Melia smiled, the woman’s charm putting her a little more at ease. “Thank you…for…opening your home and being so kind and welcoming.”
Susan made a vague hand gesture to dismiss the comment. “We are so thankful for you. Your presence will be so helpful and take some of the strain off of Luka and me. You’ve already breathed so much life into the stagnant air of this house!”
Melia opened her suitcase and felt a bit overwhelmed. So often, when faced with so many things in front of her that needed to be put in their place, she ended up sitting among her belongings for hours without touching a single object.
“So, Melia, where are you from?”
Melia smiled a sad smile. “I’m from… a little bit here, a little bit there. I’m not really from anywhere, if you know what I mean.”
Susan smiled solemnly. “Yeah, I was a bit lost before I met Luka, too. His infinite patience while I worked out the tangled mess in my head was so important to my finding myself.” Susan longingly trailed her fingers over Melia’s clothes. “You don’t have to wear a uniform here, you know. We’re really not that formal.”
Melia nodded. “Are you ever afraid?” Melia knew the question was bold, but something Susan had said put her at ease.
Susan looked up at Melia and searched her face. She seemed tired, sad. However, there was still a peaceful strength to her. “Afraid? Of dying…not anymore. I’ve made my peace with God or the universe, or whatever is out there orchestrating or watching this mess.” Susan fell silent for a moment. “I was angry, at first. Of course, I didn’t think it was fair. I ate right. I didn’t smoke. Did everything I was supposed to do, and I’m going to die anyway. Now, I kind of wish I had smoked the cigarette, eaten the foods. Fuck it, I’m going down anyway, right?” Susan’s laugh had a hint of bitterness in it. “No, I’m not afraid of dying. It’s the pain, the lingering death. It was my worst nightmare. I’ve never really been afraid of dying; I’ve lived a relatively blessed life. But I didn’t want to linger and I didn’t want it to hurt, and that’s exactly what it is. A lingering, bone crushing tiredness and pain all of the time. The pain. That’s a fear. I worry also, about Luka. What he’s going to do after I’m gone. He obsesses. I’m worried that he will waste away mourning me for the rest of time, and it doesn’t have to be that way. There were so many things I left undone, I will leave undone. Things I wanted to do and won’t be able to do anymore. Somehow, I think he feels that if I can’t do it, he won’t be able to do it either. That’s what I’m afraid of. I’m dying. My struggle will be over soon, but those of the ones I love, their struggle is only getting harder for the time being.” Susan’s breath came a bit unevenly for a moment. Then she lifted her head and smiled impishly. “I’m worried Luka won’t be able to find himself a submissive.”
Melia placed a stack of clothes in the drawer next to her bed. “What is a submissive?”
“Well, Luka is into a special kind of sexual relationship.” Susan laughed as Melia dropped a bag of her toiletries on the floor.
Melia picked it up with trembling hands and swallowed loudly. “Special?”
“Yeah, you know, bondage? Domination.” Susan was obviously relishing the slow trickle of information she was giving Melia. She was going to make her ask every uncomfortable question. Melia could tell she was enjoying herself, but could also see that Susan was not toying with her maliciously. Her interest was piqued and she decided to play along.
“Really? Luka seems so vanilla in real life.”
“Oh yeah, but in bed it’s a completely different story. He is shy in his day-to-day life, a bit closed up and reserved. It won’t be easy for him to meet a new person, let alone a new person who’s into BDSM.”
“Did you like it before you met him?”
“Oh yeah, we both were. But we did a bit of research to really understand better what our options were. Together, we kind of crafted a perfect collection of toys and things we both enjoy.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Only as much as I want it to.”
Melia felt her heart pounding as she listened fascinated by what Susan was saying.
Susan shrugged. “Yeah, it’s not the same since I got sick. I bruise easy, I can’t handle as much as I used to. Surprisingly though, it helps with the pain. The pleasurable pain kind of blocks the awful in-my-bones-and-joints pain that I feel most of the time. It’s not really as bad as what most people imagine it is. There are extremes to everything, of course. But BDSM and accepting that that’s what I’m into, was an integral part of getting to know myself.”
Melia nodded and struggled to imagine Luka binding or hurting anyone. Despite his constant frown and gloomy attitude, Luka had a gentle air about him. He didn’t look like he could hurt a fly, let alone inflict pain on a woman he loved.
“You know, you’d make a brilliant submissive,” Susan murmured.
“Me?” Melia shook her head. “I mean, I don’t know anything about it, but I think maybe I’m too independent for that.”
“Yeah, but that’s not what BDSM is about! Plenty of independent and strong women like it! Some are subs, some are Dommes, but really anyone can like it.”
“Hmm.”
Susan began to cough violently, her entire body shaking, a light layer of sweat developing on her forehead. She waved away any help from Melia and slowly got to her feet. “I’m tired. I’m going to take a nap before dinner. I’m fine. I just don’t get much of an opportunity to talk to anyone new very often. So, I think I may have overextended myself. Get settled in, you’re not on the clock yet.” Susan gave Melia a hug and shuffled out of the room.
Melia wondered at the little woman who had just left her. She was so wiry, so strong, so lively! Somehow, despite the fact that she was the one who was dying, she had more of the spark of life in her than Luka did — even though he would be the one to bury her.
Melia smiled to herself as she finished putting the last of her clothes away. Luka: a sex maniac? She imagined his slightly sharper than normal teeth grazing her skin, him dominating her. Whatever that meant. She felt herself grow aroused and she resolved to look more into the matter — even if Luka wasn’t for her.
When Melia had cleared her bed she took her computer out. Taking a deep breath, she opened a browser, and typed in ‘BDSM.’ The first images excited her, pictures of bound and blindfolded women yielding themselves, entrusting themselves entirely to their l
overs. But they became progressively more and more disturbing. Women with looks of agonizing pain on their faces. Needles and scat? Whatever that was, Melia didn’t want any part of it. Luka didn’t seem capable of doing those things, and Susan didn’t seem like the kind of woman who would allow it.
In the end, the idea of BDSM intrigued her and she wanted to know more. She had fought her whole life to be independent, to never again put her future in the hands of a man who would more than likely up and leave whenever it became convenient. She would never again put herself in a situation where she had zero control over what someone could do to her. But being able to relinquish control for a second seemed… amazing. Being able to trust somebody entirely, mind, soul, and body, knowing that they had your pleasure in the palm of their hand, sent a massive thrill through Melia’s body. The idea of Luka doing the things she had seen in the pictures made her breath catch, and her clit swell.
Melia quickly snapped her computer shut, and finished putting away the rest of her belongings.
5
The smells of the welcome dinner Luka and Susan had prepared for her wafted into her bedroom. Melia realized she was hungry and quickly jumped into the guest room’s shower. The warm water cascaded down her body, and she looked up, letting the stream pour over her face, into her mouth. Not only was she hungry, but she was grateful to have her own bathroom. She hadn’t realized how grimy and dusty she felt. After her shower, she considered the clothing she had in the drawers. She wanted to honor the fact that Luka and Susan had gone out of their way to make her feel welcome. Often, people treated home-aides like servants and she had gotten used to feeling largely invisible... She didn’t have a lot of nice clothes, and she felt a pang of shame at not being able to dress a bit better. Perhaps a uniform would have been better
Finally, she settled on a white dress with a light understated floral pattern. She tied a light brown belt around her waist and strapped on some gladiator-style sandals that matched the belt. Melia let her hair down and shook it out a bit, the locks shining in the light. She took a quick peek in the mirror, feeling confident that she looked as polished as she could get herself and went downstairs. The dinner table was set beautifully, Susan ushering Melia into her seat before disappearing into the kitchen. Moments later, she brought out a bottle of wine and poured herself and Melia a cup.
“Cheers!” Susan caught Melia’s mildly mortified look and laughed. “I’m going to die anyway, Melia. I might as well enjoy the little time I have left.”
Melia couldn’t argue with that logic so she smiled and drank to Susan’s health. “I was helping Luka in the kitchen, but I’m afraid that I was more in the way than anything else. My days of being useful in there are over! It’s a good thing I taught Luka everything he knows.”
Luka came into the room with a large bowl of toasted baguette slices and another bowl of something Melia couldn’t see.
“I’m going to take you on a culinary journey around the world!” Luka smiled, his eyes shining.
Melia had never seen him so happy, so in his own element.
“Luka is making some of our favorite dishes from the around the world trip we did for our honeymoon. This is the meal he makes when he wants to impress somebody!”
The bread bowl in Luka’s hand clattered to the table. He looked up and smiled with a faint blushing of his cheeks. He wiped his hand on his pants and tried to compose himself. “This is Chilean-style ceviche. Do you like fish, Melia?” The sight of his blue, penetrating eyes made Melia shift in her seat.
“Yeah, I love ceviche,” she said nervously.
“Great, you’re in for a treat,” squealed Susan.
The ceviche was amazing. Melia closed her eyes in pleasure and couldn’t help but emit low moans and sighs. The fish had been cooked in lime juice and was firm to the touch but yielded to pressure so it almost spread on the bread. Luka had garnished the ceviche with fresh cilantro, finely diced onion, garlic, and orange peppers; it had just the right level of spiciness to raise Melia’s temperature slightly and make her reach for her wine.
“It’s good isn’t it?” Susan beamed at Melia, who could only nod blissfully. She hadn’t eaten this well in ages.
“It sure beats the hell out of frozen TV dinners, I’ll tell you that much.”
Susan laughed and clapped her hands. “You’re right, Luka, she does say the funniest things!”
Melia felt a twinge of embarrassment but it quickly faded as she realized that yet again, Susan had meant no harm with her comment. Susan seemed to enjoy how the food.
Luka brought out their three dinner plates balanced on his arm restaurant-style. Once they were seated, Luka smiled and grabbed Susan’s hand. “We’re not religious people, but before we eat we like to say a little prayer of thanks out into the world in hopes that maybe there’s someone or something out there to hear it. Susan does it best, so without further ado.”
Susan reached for Melia’s hand and bowed her head. “We want to give thanks for this new addition to our home. Thank you to you Melia for the help you will give our family in the coming weeks.” Susan squeezed Melia’s hand. “Thank you for, and bless the hands that made this food,” Melia noticed Susan squeeze Luka’s hand. “Thank you for giving us the chance to eat this food together. The end.” Susan laughed.
“So, Mr. Rossiter, what are we eating?”
“Please, Melia, call me Luka.” He smiled and Melia saw the reflection of Susan’s warmth in him. “Its red wine braised beef over a potato and turnip extra cheesy au gratin, and a reduction of the braising liquid.”
The first bite melted in Melia’s mouth like butter. She closed her eyes tight and squirmed in her seat.
“I’m glad you seem to like it,” the sight of Melia wriggling in ecstasy over his food in her mouth made him wonder what her face would be like with his cock in her mouth. The thought so distracted him that he almost knocked his wine glass over. He cleared his throat. “We ate something similar in Paris during our honeymoon trip.”
“Sounds like an amazing time,” said Melia, the smile fading from her face. But neither Susan nor Luka seemed to notice. Luka had lost himself in Susan’s face and Melia was quickly feeling like a voyeur.
“Do you remember, that time, you tried to order food at that restaurant and your French was so, so, so bad that the waiter impatiently told you he spoke English?” Susan threw her head back and laughed a wide, toothy chuckle. “Excuse me sir, but I think you will understand my English better than I understand your French, it is very bad!” Susan mocked Luka in her imitation of a French accent. He smiled.
This person was so different from the person he was when he was with Melia, and this realization made the food catch in her throat. Melia coughed a bit.
Susan turned to Melia and asked her if she was all right. “Have you ever traveled, Melia?”
Melia shook her head and wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Never really had the money or the time, I guess.”
Susan nodded grimly. “If my grandmother hadn’t died and left me a sizeable inheritance we wouldn’t have been able to afford it either. But I think money is meant to be spent not hoarded, so I thought there was no better way than to spend it running around the world with the man that I love.” She smiled and kissed Luka.
Their love seemed so strong. Melia wished she had someone in her life that would love her the way Susan and Luka cared for one another. The thought of her overwhelming loneliness overtook her. She looked at her plate; she hadn’t eaten a lot but she didn’t
want to be rude. “I think… I’m very tired now. I should lie down. The food was amazing. Thank you so much.”
Susan looked concerned. “Are you sure? Luka made a mixed berry cobbler and it’s really just about one of the most amazing things you could put in your mouth.”
Melia shook her head politely.
“Okay, well we’ll save you a piece for tomorrow! I’m sure that moving and packing and unpacking must have tired you out, I don’t know why we didn’t
think of that! We should have ordered in today and left the dinner for tomorrow.”
Melia mustered as big of a smile as she could. “No, no, this was perfect. I just didn’t realize how tired I was. Really, it was amazing. And I will see you tomorrow morning. Have a wonderful night, and thank you again for the food.”
Melia retreated to her room and lay on her bed for a long time. The sounds of laughter, the murmur of words exchanged between two reminiscing lovers, and the clatter of plates rose up to her even with the door to her bedroom closed. Being surrounded by Luka’s spirit—one she thought she understood a bit better now—made her feel even lonelier than she had at the dinner table. She curled into a ball and fell asleep thinking of how Luka’s smile had lit up his face, how the frown that seemed to dominate it when he was around her had been nonexistent throughout his interactions with his wife. Had she imagined every instant where she felt a connection between them? It seemed so childish and one-sided. Luka was married, his wife was her patient, and Melia had grown tired of making the same bad choices that landed her in the beds of other women’s boyfriends and husbands.
As she drifted to sleep, Melia resolved to forget about Luka in anything other than a professional capacity.
6
Melia settled into her life at the Rossiter residence as if she had been a fixture there forever. She helped in the kitchen, with tidying up the house, and took more care with Susan than she had with any of her previous patients. She tried to tell herself it was because she had grown fond of her and that the women had established a friendship between them that strengthened every day. But taking care of Susan had made her feel closer to Luka too. Caring for someone that she knew Luka cared so deeply for made her feel like somehow she was serving him as well.
