by Lisa Olsen
“Then stop asking me questions I can’t possibly answer.” I waited for him to step out of the way, not wanting to cause a scene, and he eventually stepped back with a shake of the head.
“Goodbye, Miss Evans. I hope you know what you’re doing.”
So did I…
*
I didn’t think, I just operated on instinct; I had to get some help. Without my scarf, the sun burned something fierce, and even with my collar turned up, I could tell I’d end up looking like strawberry jello if I didn’t get out of the sun soon. Luckily, I managed to get a cab without too much trouble and slumped as low in the seat as I could after giving Bishop’s address.
About halfway there I wondered if I’d made a huge mistake. Detective Lucas could be counting on me to lead him right to Bishop. I didn’t have it in me to sit up higher and look out the window for any sign of a tail, not that I knew how to spot one anyway. Instead, I hunkered down and hoped for the best, trusting Bishop to know how to handle it if trouble came with me.
After handing over the last of my cash on hand with an apology for the crummy tip, I paused in the cool, dark stairwell for long moments, savoring the absence of heat. I could only imagine what Bishop would think, finding me skulking around in his building, and I considered knocking instead of using my key. But all I could think of was getting into the safety of his apartment, and that overrode any thought of common courtesy. Besides, we were well past that, weren’t we? But for Jakob’s appearance, I might be living with him already.
The apartment was dark and silent as I popped the door open, a flashing light on the alarm keypad alerting me to remember to key in the code. He hadn’t changed it, and I punched the code in, rewarded by a single beep and a green light before I armed it again with me inside. Before I could turn around, I recognized the sound of a round being chambered in an automatic pistol (how had my life changed that I recognized that sound!) and I froze. I hadn’t gotten too deep into wondering if I should raise my hands when I heard Bishop’s groan of disgust and snuck a peek. Clad in only boxer briefs, he had a gun in each hand, thankfully not leveled at me as soon as he recognized me.
“Anja? What are you doing here? I thought you didn’t want my help.”
“I’m sorry,” I turned the rest of the way. “I didn’t know where else to go.”
“What happened?”
“I didn’t do anything wrong, but I swear, I think the cop is after me, he knows something. I mean, I did do something wrong, of course I did, but he couldn’t have known that. I didn’t want to risk compelling him without talking to you though. And he…” Bishop cut me off, which was probably for the best considering I didn’t make a whole lot of sense to anyone who didn’t know the story already.
“Slow down, and start at the beginning.”
I took a shaky breath, opening and closing my hands to keep them from trembling. In bits and pieces I told him about what I’d done to Evan (minimizing the details I didn’t think he’d want to know), and my conversation with Detective Lucas afterwards. “Bishop, he had your picture,” I repeated when I finished. “I thought you said your system scrubbed all references of you from the police database.”
“It does, but he could’ve obtained it somewhere else and not entered it into evidence anywhere. You said it looked like a surveillance photo?”
“Yes, I’m not sure if it was entirely identifiable unless someone already knew you.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“What do you mean by that?” I pressed, my gut telling me Detective Lucas was about to be on the wrong end of an interrogation.
“I mean… I’ll take care of it,” Bishop replied, talking to me as if I should be in special ed.
“You won’t hurt anyone, will you?”
Bishop let out a long sigh, “It all depends on what I find. Come here.” Assuming I’d follow him (which I did, not unlike a puppy who danced when her master called), he padded into the kitchen, rooting around in a drawer before he came up with a bottle of pills.
“What are those?”
“It’s another type of stim since the ones you’re using aren’t working so great anymore. Take one, just one a day, got it? If you double up on these you can cause erratic behavior and increased violent tendencies.”
My hand froze where only moments before I’d been reaching for the pills. “I don’t want them then.”
“Anja, don’t be ridiculous, take the pills.”
“No way. You know what happened to me today, if I start out on something stronger I’ll end up eating half the student body.”
“For the love of…” Bishop came closer, slapping the bottle of pills into my hand and curling my fingers around them. “That’s why you just take one of them.” His frown deepened, and I realized he was staring at my face in the dim light. “What happened to you?”
“I spent too much time out in the sun today and I had to use my scarf to stop the bleeding.” Taking the pills, I turned away, not wanting to him to see me all sunburned and icky, but he stopped me with the lightest of touches to my cheek.
“Did you come here straight from the hospital?” he asked, his tone gentler, and I nodded wearily. “Then you haven’t gone to ground yet?”
Not that I slept in the ground, but I knew what he meant. “I haven’t slept, I don’t think I could.” Prepared to hear him scold me for that, Bishop utterly surprised me by sweeping me into his arms, carrying me to his bedroom without another word. Too afraid to ask him what, if anything, it meant, I waited to see if he would join me, but after he tucked me into his bed, he started tugging on his clothes.
“I heard about your spat with Mason.”
I closed my eyes, imagining the way that particular story had gone over. “I’m really not in the mood for a lecture right now,” I grumbled.
“I would have done the same thing for my sister.”
My eyes popped open again, and I rolled onto my hip to face him. “You have a sister?”
“Had,” he said softly, “a long time ago. Adriana.”
“What happened to her?”
“She died.”
Of course she’d died, Bishop was older than I pretended to be, but something about the way he said it made me leave it alone. “I’m sorry,” I replied gravely. “I’m sorry about all of this. Dragging you back into this, messing things up with the police, attacking Evan like that.”
“You can’t apologize for who you are, Anja. The lion doesn’t apologize to the gazelle.”
“He does if he’s trying to become a vegetarian,” I tried for a weak joke, but Bishop didn’t look like he found it the least bit amusing.
“Trying to fool yourself into believing you’re something else is just begging for incidents like this.” He sat on the edge of the bed to tie his shoes. “If you’d let me teach you control, you wouldn’t be at the mercy of your hunger.”
“If I’d let you teach me?” I pushed back the covers as I sat up. “You’re the one who said you didn’t want to have anything more to do with me because Jakob’s showed his face.”
“And you’re still here anyway,” he glowered, and I reached for his hand before he could get away.
“Doesn’t that tell you something? I could have gone to Jakob for help. Heck, I could have gone away with him and left all of this behind.” Raising his hand to my tender cheek, I pressed a soft kiss to the center of his palm. “I don’t want Jakob, I want you.” I saw the naked longing on his face as my lips touched him, and for a long moment I thought he might kiss me back, but instead he pulled away.
“Well, we don’t always get what we want, do we?” Pulling his hand free, Bishop stood, strapping on his holster with short, angry movements. “I’m going to go do some damage control.”
“Wait, Bishop… please come back and talk to me about this.” I scooted to the edge of the bed to follow, but one look from him froze me in place.
“Get some rest, but when I get back, I don’t want to find you here.”
Chapter Sixteen
I didn’t think I’d be able to sleep at all, but my body had other ideas. It was well past sundown when I opened my eyes. Extending my senses, it was pretty easy to figure out I was all alone. He’d probably stay out late deliberately to make sure I was good and gone by the time he came back. Not wanting to move from the comfort of Bishop’s bed, I picked up his pillow, breathing in his scent as I hugged it to my body. How had things gotten so messed up between us? And why hadn’t I slept with him when I had the chance?
Lingering longer than I should have, I took a long, hot shower, helping myself to Bishop’s towels and toiletries. Luckily, my face didn’t look burned or even red from my exposure to the sun. Eventually I had to leave though, knowing he’d be angry if he returned and found me there. Out of cash, I walked home, glad to find Bridget there alone again.
“Aren’t those the same clothes you wore yesterday? Am I witnessing the walk of shame?” she teased as soon as I walked in the door.
“I wish.” I flopped down on the sofa. “I don’t suppose you can do me a favor when you get to work tonight, can you?”
“Are we looting corpses in the morgue? ‘Cause if we are, I’m totally in.”
“No,” I gave her a half hearted smile, still feeling kinda bummed. “I want to know how a patient is doing.”
“Why don’t you call admitting?”
“Because I don’t want anyone to know I’m asking.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m the one who put him in the hospital.” I winced as her eyes bulged from the pile of questions struggling to get out all at once. It felt good to be able to recap with her and not get any judgment. Whether it was from my standing compulsion not to freak out whenever I mentioned anything that had to do with being a vampire or her own natural temperament, Bridget didn’t bat an eye as I recounted my story.
As promised, she called about an hour after she got to work and reported that Evan was being held overnight for observation, but was expected to be released in the morning. Satisfied he was out of the woods, I debated whether or not to try and catch him after he was discharged or sneak in to see him at the hospital. In the end I decided to risk the hospital, it’d be far less trouble than trying to track down where he lived. For all I knew he had a live in girlfriend who’d ask all kinds of questions if I showed up there out of the blue and I didn’t want to complicate his life anymore than I had already.
Visiting hours were long over as I snuck into the hospital wearing a pair of Bridget’s maroon colored scrubs. I hadn’t asked her if I could borrow them, but hey, it was the least offensive thing I’d done all day. Heading straight up to Evan’s room, I tried to cultivate that tired, bored look on my face I saw on so many of the hospital staff at that time of night. Barring an emergency, they seemed to zone out the same as any other profession when things were quiet, and things were definitely quiet on the floor.
Half afraid I’d see Detective Lucas camped outside Evan’s door, I slipped into his room as quickly as I could manage without drawing attention to myself, pausing just inside the door to listen. Luckily, Evan didn’t share the room, and I heard his slow, even breathing as he lay there fast asleep.
Evan seemed a lot better than he had that afternoon, the dark smudges under his eyes had faded and he looked a lot less pale. I took a seat beside him, not sure if I should wake him up or let him sleep at first, but why else had I come all the way down there if not to talk to him?
Picking up his hand, I rubbed the inside of his wrist gently, gauging his reaction. If heavily medicated, he might not stir at all or make any sense if he did. Evan’s head shifted at the light touch, and I snapped on a low light, the better for him to see me.
“Evan?” I said softly, touching his wrist lightly again, rewarded by his squinty blink of confusion.
“Anja?”
“I’m sorry, I hate to wake you,” I patted his hand gently. “I had to find out if you’re alright.” So far he hadn’t screamed or looked alarmed in the slightest at recognizing me, that had to be a good thing.
“I’m… I’m alright, I guess,” he yawned, and I resisted the urge to yawn out of instinct even though I wasn’t the slightest bit tired. “What time is it?”
“It’s late. I probably shouldn’t be here, but I was just so worried. You scared the bejeezus out of me today.” Not a lie. “Do you um, do you remember what happened?”
His face crinkled again in confusion, “I… we were in the classroom talking and…”
“Yes?”
“It’s a bit blurry after that but… did you, did we kiss?”
“We did,” I admitted, biting my lip as I waited to see how he took that realization, ready to compel him at the first sign of disgust.
“I wish I could remember what led up to that, but if it was one sided, I apologize. I hope you know I’d never try to use my position to force you to…” he frowned, and I gave his hand a squeeze.
“Evan, it’s okay,” I cut him off, his guilt was killing me. “You didn’t do anything inappropriate, it was all me. I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”
“Uncomfortable?” he blinked. “No, I remember it being pretty wonderful, actually.” His fingers curved around mine, a lopsided grin tilting his face.
Uh oh. “Um, what else do you remember, after the kiss?”
“The kiss…” His face took on a dreamy smile, and I wondered how much he remembered of how intimately pressed we’d been against the wall. I was willing to bet he didn’t usually get to second base with his students in the middle of a classroom. “I must have fallen…” Evan’s expression crumpled. “At least that’s what they told me, it’s a bit foggy. I remember the kiss and you singing to me. I didn’t imagine that, did I?”
“No,” I breathed a sigh of relief. None of his memories pointed to any violence from me, which meant I could tell Detective Lucas to go jump.
“It was so beautiful. I thought you were an angel, come to take me to heaven.”
“You must have hit your head harder than I thought,” I frowned, a little disconcerted by the way he kept looking at me. “I should probably let you get some rest, I just wanted to make sure you’re really alright.”
“Can’t you stay a wee bit longer?” His hand held fast to mine and I hesitated. It was the least I owed him, right?
“Yes, I can stay a little longer,” I agreed with a smile. “But only if you try and get back to sleep.”
“Och, I slept nearly the whole day away, I’d rather sit up and talk to you,” his grin stretched wider.
“Alright, for a little while,” I agreed, knowing I’d be booted out if any nurses came along to check up on him. For the next hour or so we chatted about school and classes, people we both knew and music. Evan’s soft brogue and ready smile charmed me more than I should have let it, but it was nice to have a normal conversation with someone that didn’t revolve around blood and death, and we did have quite a lot in common. Still, I sensed when he started to tire, and the conversation wound down to a comfortable silence.
Finally I rose to my feet, giving his hand a squeeze. “I’m going to let you get some sleep now.”
“Sorry, didn’t mean to keep you here so late, will you be alright getting home?”
“I’ll be fine,” I promised. “I’m used to late nights and my friend works here in the hospital, she can give me a ride home.”
“Will I see you tomorrow, then?” He held onto my hand, and I hesitated, unsure what to say. I knew I had to nip any romantic notions he entertained in the bud, but at the same time, I didn’t want to use any compulsion on him either. Who knew what would happen if I messed around in his brain in the middle of a head injury?
“I think they’re going to make you take it easy tomorrow, you should try to concentrate on feeling better.”
“Seeing you would make me feel better,” he grinned and I gently tugged my hand free.
“Evan, I had a very nice time with you here tonight, and I’m really sorr
y you got hurt, more than I can say, but I’m not looking for any… romantic entanglements,” I finished for lack of a better description. Only after I’d said it did I cringe on the inside, now he’d think I went around kissing guys out of the blue! “I meant to say, I’m sort of, I’m just getting over someone and I’m not ready to start anything new right now,” not a lie.
“Right,” he nodded after a flicker of disappointment.
“You’re a really great guy, Evan. If you ever want to get together and talk about music or movies or whatever, I’d love to. I just don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me.”
“Understood,” he nodded grimly. “Thanks for stopping by, I enjoyed our visit.”
“I did too. Bye.” With an awkward wave, I slipped out the door. Evan probably wasn’t quite sure what to think about me, but better he be confused than know the truth. Sometimes I wished for that kind of ignorance too, but then again, who was I fooling? I’d probably drive myself nuts asking questions until I ended right back in the thick of things again. Moving with forced purpose, I got out of the hospital before I ran into anyone else, wondering if Bishop was anywhere nearby.
Bishop.
His name alone was still enough to produce a sigh of longing. Idly I wondered if he planned on contacting the detective or just trying to find out what Lucas knew about him first. How come every time Bishop said he’d “take care of it”, it made me nervous? Deciding I couldn’t spend my time worrying over it, I headed for home, eager to catch up on the new assignments I’d missed from taking Evan to the hospital before the Dean ratted me out to my parents again.
*
I avoided Evan at school after that. He wasn’t there the next day, but by Friday morning he was back in class, trying to catch my eye. I felt like a horrible, awful person for completely blowing him off. I knew only too well what it felt like to be on the opposite side of it, but I consoled myself in the knowledge that I did him a favor.
More importantly, I did get all my schoolwork caught up, which meant I didn’t have an excuse to put off Jakob any longer. I’d made plans to meet him at the coffee shop I normally went to with my sister, and the moment I woke up that night, I had the jitters. I picked out and discarded just about every piece of clothing I owned, going back and forth between trying to look nice and going for something as casual as possible to send the message it wasn’t really a date.
