by R. W. Holmes
“To sore to get out of the way” Gael answered honestly. “But not too sore to pick up a bottle from the bar and smash it over the guy's head. I'm glad the bartender saw it all play out, or I probably would have been charged for assault and had my scholarship revoked when Mandy called the cops on me. I haven't so much as looked at one of those dating websites since.”
“Golly... my reason seems pretty bad now” said Emily.
“There it is again!” exclaimed Gael. “First the cheese and crackers, and now golly!”
Emily turned her nose up and looked away. “I like saying those things” she replied defensively. “They're cute.”
“They're damn adorable” agreed Gael. “You should use those on your next date.”
“Hah!” Emily balked in amusement. “I don't get to date anymore. I travel too much now.”
Gael's smirk faded slightly, and the realization that Emily had gone out of her way to bring up dating struck him in the chest, right in that abstract place where ones heart intersected with an organ that existed purely to make someone the worst kind of excited and nervous at the same time.
“Are you cold?” Emily said next.
Gael reached down beside himself and draped a blanket over his and Emily's shoulders, before making the decision to leave his arm draped around her with it. A feeling that could only be described as childish delight filled Gael when Emily leaned into it, but his fear of somehow screwing things up kept him quiet.
“Normal” Emily murmured longingly. “You were right. Both of us can 'go home and leave it at the door'. Most people see me do that and they think I'm a freak with nerves of steel. Really, I just can't live any other way.”
Gael shrugged. “I just figured you weren't all that afraid of dying.”
“I guess that's true” said Emily. “Is that why you handle it all so well?”
“No” replied Gael. “It's not so much that I'm not afraid of dying as it is that I've done a terrible job of living. If it weren't for all the lives I'd accidentally ruined along the way, I think I'd be kind of glad for the change of pace.”
The following morning came with the sound of snoring and a splitting headache.
'I... am hungover' Gael thought woefully to himself.
Memories of the previous night came flooding back to Gael then, starting with the first few drinks he and Emily had enjoyed during their movie, and then moving on to heavier things for reasons he couldn't quite remember.
Gael sat up then, and felt a form stirring beside him when Emily turned over and continued sleeping.
“Oh...” he muttered awkwardly.
Gael bit his lip as his memories from last night sharpened lightly, and every bit of Emily still hidden beneath the blanket came flooding back to him.
“Sheets” Gael muttered as he got out of bed and drearily scooped up yesterday's underwear. “Need to wash the sheets, and buy more underwear... And breakfast!”
A sharp snort from below the loft made Gael jump, and Zinerva stirred from her odd sleeping position, which was on the floor and leaning against the couch.
“Who said food?” grumbled Zinerva.
Gael smirked as his imp friend stood up and stretched, before turning around to look at Shay as she continued her deep, peaceful slumber on the couch.
“Not you...” Zinerva murmured confusedly.
“Up here” Gael called hoarsely.
“Oh... Good morning” said Zinerva. “Last night was weird. Shay beat the crap out of me because I wanted to join you.”
“Yeah, don't do that” Gael whispered back as he slowly descended from the loft. “You wanna help me get breakfast for everyone?”
Zinerva nodded and stretched, but stretched too far and ended up toppling back flat onto her rear end.
“I don't think alcohol is for me” she said with a scowl.
“Really?” Gael queried in surprise. “I was convinced you'd love it.”
“I make just as many bad decisions on my own, and there's no hangover afterward” replied Zinerva. “And now I'm going to try breakfast food, and if it isn't the wondrous creation the internet insists it is then I'll be getting revenge.”
“Revenge?” Gael asked as he put on some more clothes. “On who? The entire internet?”
“Yes.”
“That's impossible” said Gael.
“Don't be ridiculous!” scoffed Zinerva. “The internet has weaknesses. Like cats! Yeah, I'll strangle a cat!”
Gael shook his head ashamedly and went to put on his shoes next. “It's a good thing breakfast food is all it's cracked up to be, or I'd have to worry.”
Not twenty minutes after Gael left the house, Emily found herself waking up alone, slightly confused, and kind of... sticky.
“Gross” she muttered groggily, before scooting across the bed to a nearby nightstand and scooping up her phone. “Itinerary?”
“Nine-fifteen A.M., call Argyle” the phone replied in a pleasant, electronic feminine voice. “It is currently ten-thirty.”
“Well then you should probably call Argyle” groaned Emily. “Also, what the hell did I do last night?”
“Calling Argyle” the phone started. “GPS records for the previous night indicate you never-,”
“Shut up” snapped Emily. “I wasn't asking you...”
“You totally hit it off” Shay called from down below. “And then you started drinking, and you hit it off even more, and then you started hitting each other. With your pelvises.”
“Yeah, I kind of figured as-” Emily started.
“Hello?” a meek, somewhat uncertain voice called out.
“Oh! Argyle!” exclaimed Emily, her hands nearly dropping her phone as she hurriedly turned it to speaker mode. “I'm so sorry, last night was crazy. I only just woke up.”
“It's fine” Argyle replied nervously. “Really, don't worry about it. What is it you wanted to know?”
“Wow, Argyle sounds pissed” Shay called up worriedly.
“There was a, uh, an incident at the Gander job I did yesterday” replied Emily. “I lost the Four-Seal Scroll, and now the R'lyehans have it.”
“They have something that's worthless then” Argyle replied suspiciously. “Why would that matter? It sounds like you got them off your tail by throwing a little junk at them.”
“That's not how it went down, though” explained Emily. “Angelica, the demonologist who was supposed to be dead? Actual horseman of the apocalypse Death had her soul and demanded she do something for him to get it back, and somehow that meant giving the scroll to Allen Olmstead.”
“Okay...” Argyle murmured awkwardly. “I'm, uh, I'm gonna look into that.”
“Wait, Argyle, no!” snapped Emily. “Argyle does not go near R'lyehans, that's a rule. I just want a little long range surveillance on where Allen Olmstead is going.”
“No one else is available to check it out, and you're a planet away” Argyle replied adamantly. “It's fine. I promise, it'll be nothing more than a little intel gathering.”
“Argyle! NO!” screamed Emily.
The phone clicked, and the line went dead.
“Oh my fucking God, I'm going to tear off that sheepish little edgelord's head the next time I see him!” Emily bellowed angrily.
Shay fluttered up to the loft and looked at Emily in bewilderment. “What the heck is an edgelord?”
Emily sighed and said, “It's someone who tries to be edgy all the time.”
Shay nodded and frowned. “I'm an edgelord too, aren't I?”
“What? No!” snapped Emily. “I mean, around other fairies sometimes, but in general? No. Absolutely not.”
The door to the studio apartment opened then, and Zinerva skipped her way in.
“Breakfast is ready!” she said excitedly.
“Oh God, yes” Emily said as she skillfully made her way down from the loft and put on pants all at the same time.
“Argyle” hissed Shay.
“Argyle is a grown man, and he's an entire planet away!
” snapped Emily. “Let's worry after food.”
As was common in most mornings, it came time to have breakfast, and even a thousand years later the humans of the world, or worlds, would occasionally make the effort to enjoy it in grand fashion.
A platter of scrambled eggs sat in the center of Angelica's kitchen table, surrounded on all sides by heaps of bacon, sausage, toast; some toasted, some french; as well as two pitchers of orange juice, and even a hastily baked quiche.
“What the Hell!?” Kennedy exclaimed as he and Cypress, the last two of 'the group' to arrive, took their seats at the table. “Who made all this.”
“Gael did” replied Angelica.
“I used to cook for my grandmother, and she ran a bed and breakfast” Gael replied with a shrug. “Best job I ever had.”
“More like best job you ever did” said Shay. “Can you poach eggs too? Or do omelets?”
“Yeah, I can do omelets” replied Gael. “Never tried poaching an egg, though. Also, where's Kiki?”
“Who's Kiki?” Kennedy asked in alarm.
“Have you seen an ugly little troll creature stomping about?” asked Emily.
“Yeah, actually” Kennedy said awkwardly. “I asked it if it was supposed to be here and it said yeah, so I just assumed it was someone you all knew.”
The harsh, almost violent pitter patter of steps rang throughout the building as Kiki came running from nowhere and emerged from a door no one had even bothered opening yet.
“Oh come on... Was I not invited?” Kiki asked despairingly.
“No, you are” said Gael. “But no one knew where you were. Were you sleeping in a closet?”
“No, I was in the basement” said Kiki. “You don't know your own building has a basement?”
“We do now” Gael, Angelica, and Kennedy all replied in unison.
Cypress sat up in his seat a little as the creepy little creature that was Kiki took the sole remaining seat next to him. “Is anyone going to tell Kennedy and I who she is?” he asked in disgust.
“That's our new head of security” said Gael. “She works for room, board, quality hot dogs, and not being treated like an eyesore.”
“I'm aware that I am one” Kiki said quickly. “Really, I came to terms with that a long time ago, but, you know, be nice about it.”
“Uh huh...” grumbled Cypress.
“You're cute, though” Kiki added far too eagerly to Cypress. “I've been around a long time, you know. Long enough to have seen other incubi... Those ones were all wise to me, but you're not. I know all your weaknesses, handsome.”
Cypress stared back at Kiki, a blank, pale look on his face. He then turned to Kennedy and whispered, “She's done something to me. I hate being here, but I can't run away.”
“That's called fear” replied Kennedy. “You're terrified of her.”
“I take that as a compliment” Kiki declared proudly.
“Gael, I need to do some 'work'” Emily said suddenly. “And I'd like you to come, because it concerns Argyle.”
“Argyle?” Gael queried curiously.
“Isn't that the guy you said had his own shoggoth?” asked Kennedy.
“Yes, very good” replied Emily.
“That's up for debate” Cypress murmured pessimistically. “Those things are dangerous.”
“Yes, also very good” Emily admitted sheepishly. “But Argyle has had his since he was born, and it's never done anything counterproductive to his wishes. He also hates the R'lyehans for their interest in him, and when I brought up what happened with Allen, he insisted on going to investigate. It's Outcast policy not to let Argyle get to close to the R'lyehans... It never ends well.”
“I wanna go” Zinerva said to Gael.
“I do too” Gael replied with a smile. “The more I come back to this place, the more it will feel like home.”
“Wow... Didn't take you long to settle in” Kennedy said bitterly. “Can you not be so cheery while some of us are, you know, telling our families we might not ever see them again in person?”
“Uh... I mean, Gael, he does have a point” Angelica added concernedly. “Have you not tried to contact your family since we got here?”
“No” said Gael. “There's going to be a funeral when I don't turn up, and then I'll be dead to them.”
“That's cold” Kennedy said disapprovingly.
“I want them to get on with their lives” countered Gael. “I'm from a working family, and I don't mean any offense to you two when I say that. I just don't see the point in stressing them out with that, especially when they're going to have the support of everyone else who lost someone at Enterprise Island.”
Zinerva, whose listening in was halfhearted at best, looked up in surprise when Gael stood up with his plate and began to leave the room.
“Wait!” she called, before clamoring to go after him with her own plate.
Kennedy looked to Angelica curiously as they heard the two ascend the building, before finally hearing Gael's loft door open and close shut in the distance.
“Do you think he hates his family?” he asked her.
“I don't know” replied Angelica. “Maybe he really loves them?”
“I didn't sense any hate or disdain in him when he spoke of his family” offered Cypress.
“Right... I'm, uh, gonna call a cab” Emily chimed in quickly. “I need to make sure my ship is ready for a flight.”
“Well hey, you and Gael are close now, right?” asked Kennedy. “Can you find out what's wrong with him.”
“I'd rather not get involved” Emily said quickly.
“Yeah...” Shay added as she descended on Emily's plate like a vulture and took as many mouthfuls of food as she could. “Than's fo' b'ekf'st.”
“Chew your food!” snapped Artemis.
“Silly goat man, I'm a princess!” Shay called as she followed Emily out the door. “I decide what's proper.”
Artemis audibly growled as the door closed shut
“I'm going to have a word with her...” he grumbled angrily.
“Over what?” asked Angelica. “Being a slob?”
“Yes!” hissed Artemis. “Etiquette is important.”
“Why would a murderous lunatic care about etiquette!?” snapped Angelica.
Artemis scoffed aloud and looked away. “I have never engaged with anyone but an enemy combatant.”
“I wasn't an enemy, though” Angelica replied bitterly. “You killed me-,”
“Because I was your slave” said Artemis. “And I would not be shackled. So long as I feel I am not a slave, facing Death again will be a worse fate than suffering your company and demands.”
Angelica glared back at Artemis suspiciously for a moment, before Kennedy cleared his throat.
“You know, he uh... He never actually attacked anyone that didn't come at him first” he said awkwardly.
Artemis and Cypress looked on as Kennedy's testimony had absolutely no positive impact on Angelica's disposition. Instead, a bitter, indignant grimace consumed Angelica's visage as she stood up from the table and took her leave.
“Sorry, bro” Kennedy said to Artemis. “I don't think forgiving someone for killing you is very easy.”
Artemis shook his head. “You creatures who summoned us are supposed to be our equals. If that is true, then she is not upset with me for killing her. She is upset over having a constant reminder of her greatest, most costly failure.”
An hour after finishing their breakfast, Zinerva sat idly before the loft's large, thin, clear plastic TV and did her absolute best to ignore the morning that had just come and gone.
She failed.
“So you were kind of-,” she started.
“Let's not talk about that” Gael called back from his bed immediately.
“I just wanna know if you hate them or not” said Zinerva. “I mean, what if they track us down? How am I supposed to act?”
Gael groaned and sat up, turning away from the screen of his computer and the several windows
on it currently displaying supposed information on demons.
“Listen,” he started as he descended to the main floor of the loft. “I don't want the others to know this, but I don't have a family. I was raised alone by my grandmother, and she died a year before I left for college. Can you imagine how they would all feel if they realized that, after everything that happened, I've ended up with more than I had before their lives were ruined? Because if you haven't noticed, my life hasn't been ruined.”
Zinerva immediately burst out laughing, and even went so far as to clutch at her side and roll around on the floor as the mirth took her.
“It's not that funny” said Gael.
“It's extremely funny!” snapped Zinerva. “Oh your God, am I your family? Gael, there's someone you trust more than me, right? Because I'm a demon. A kind of demon that's famous for being untrustworthy! The most fun I have is playing on peoples' insecurities.”
“Good” said Gael. “Because yes, you are. You're literally the only person I trust one-hundred percent. Hell, my grandmother saw a shrink for kleptomania, so technically I trust you even more than I trusted her.”
“That's really sad” said Zinerva.
“Yeah, and if you're smart, you'll realize that if we piss off Angelica and Kennedy badly enough we'll be out on the street with no money and nowhere to live” replied Gael. “Understand?”
“No, Gael, I mean it” Zinerva said seriously. “That's really sad. I'm not trustworthy.”
“Yes you are” replied Gael.
“I don't have to do what you say anymore!” Zinerva insisted frantically.
“If you're so untrustworthy, then why are you telling me any of this?” asked Gael. “Why not just take advantage of my naivety?”
“I have eventually betrayed everyone else I've ever met” replied Zinerva. “Everyone. Eventually, I'm going to get bored and do something indescribably awful to you. It's better if I don't know your secrets when that time comes.”
Gael nodded back at Zinerva, his expression stony and unmoving. “I'll forgive you” he decided.
Zinerva paused. “What?”
“I said, I'll forgive you” repeated Gael.
