I just didn’t realize how lonely it was up there until she came along. Once you reach a certain level, it’s not about how many things you can buy—how many properties, cars, priceless works of art—it’s how far and hard can you push yourself. But Louis isn’t there yet, either financially or mentally. I suspect he might be looking at shortcuts to the top, which means I’ll have to let him go regardless.
His discomfort is evident, but I make no effort to dispel it. He should know that I’m unhappy with him.
“Let’s get to work then.”
He enters the office quickly, and we get down to business. I take two meetings in the morning and review a report my team of investment analysts had done. A tech firm in Seattle was working on wearable technology and another company was making advancements in light refracting clothes that can render one invisible to the naked eye. Unless I get prototypes, I’m not investing millions in either company.
“I think the military tech firm is more interesting only because it has more upside. Government contracts are great because they are constantly overpaying,” Louis says as we sit in my office sifting through the morning presentations.
“So our entire investment strategy hinges on how good the company is at fleecing the US government out of its money?”
He shrugs. “Someone’s going to benefit from that stupidity. Why not us?”
“Why not indeed?” I say dryly. “Both these companies can be outpaced tomorrow. There’s a competing cloaking technology being developed as we speak, and we don’t have enough information to make an educated guess as to which is going to prevail. I’m not willing to back either until I’ve got a good sense about which will be VHS and which will be Betamax.”
“What about the wearable tech?” Louis urges. He’s eager to make some sort of deal today, as if he can’t wait to spend Kerr Inc. money regardless of whether the deal makes sense. I test an idea that I’ve been debating for the last month. Sophie Corielli’s death has affected me strongly, but in a different way than it affected her daughter.
I no longer want to spend every day shut up in my office. I’ve done little traveling except for work. I’ve done little entertaining except for work. I’ve reached the pinnacle of the financial world at the relatively young age of thirty-two because all I’ve done since the age of thirteen is work. I’d wake up thinking about ways to make money and execute those ideas until I was too tired to stand. Then I’d dream about more ways to make money.
But now my dreams are full of Tiny and the life we could have together. I’ve made enough money. Now it’s time to enjoy it.
“I’m thinking of winding down Kerr Inc.”
“Winding it down?” Louis shoots out of his chair and leans his hands on my desk, a giant thing made of my favorite wood, walnut. Thankfully, there’s enough space between the two of us that I avoid being drenched by his saliva-filled horror. “You can’t wind this down. You love it. It’s your life!”
I toss the prospectus for the military firm on the desk and wander over to the windows. From the thirty-fourth floor, I can see Staten Island and the ferries. I wonder if Tiny has ever visited the Statue of Liberty. I haven’t. I can count on one hand the number of New York City monuments I’ve visited.
The Empire State Building—but only because a woman I was dating wanted to have sex up there. What was her name again? Bettina? I remember the initial thrill of the possibility of being caught, but Bettina kept pushing the envelope. A dark corner on the top of the observation deck after I’d slipped the security guard a Benjamin was fine for me. I hadn’t balked at screwing her on a Sunday morning at the Standard overlooking the High Line. But when I figured out she enjoyed exhibitionism far more than she enjoyed my cock, I sent her a nice tennis bracelet from Tiffany’s and told her that there was someone out there better than me.
Funny how the thrill of those illicit activities weren’t even a tenth as exciting as just thinking about fucking Tiny.
“Was my life,” I corrected him, not bothering to look back. “It’s just money. You and I both have enough to enjoy every little luxury even if we never work again.”
“Maybe you do, but I don’t,” Louis retorts.
This confession draws me away from the view of the harbor. He’s red-faced and not a little anxious. He fiddles with his tie and doesn’t look me in the eye.
“What is it?” I sigh. “Women? Drugs? Gambling?”
“None of them. I just haven’t been at this as long as you have,” he mumbles.
“Maybe I’d believe that if you’d look at me when you said that instead of talking to your tie tack.”
“Sorry if my ambition is making you upset,” he snarls. From chagrin to attack in less than a minute, Louis is leaking defensiveness all over the floor.
Disappointment sets in. The lure of more was going to take another man down. Although on that subject, I’m the last who should talk. I’ve been making money hand over fist because I’m good at it. It used to fill my days and my nights with something akin to gratification, but now I realize it was a false sense of happiness. Things are nothing compared to a person. Louis’s downfall is as much my fault as his own. I’d hired him, and because I’d failed to be a good mentor, I was going to lose him. I decide to change the subject as much for Louis’s sake as for mine.
“How about investing in a cycling company? Green measures are expanding and cycling is becoming more popular. Why don’t you check it out?”
Louis doesn’t respond immediately. A raised eyebrow finally jerks him to attention. “I’ll get right on that.”
“Good. I’ll expect a report in the morning.” Without waiting for a response, I pick up my landline to begin the eradication of the one black mark in my life. Tiny is right. I’ve allowed this to linger far too long. A little pressure on his wallet and he’d leave his family just to save his own skin.
“Howe speaking.”
“Richard. It’s Ian Kerr. How are you?”
“Good. I’m surprised you’re calling. Surprised but pleased. What can I do for you?” His uneasiness is evident.
“I could bullshit you all day, Howe, but you should know that you are a—” How had Tiny put it? Oh yes. “A boil on the ass of humanity.”
He starts to sputter. “Just because you have had a modicum of success does not mean you can speak to me—”
I cut him off. “Of course I can. Your family barely has two dimes to rub together. You probably don’t look at your bills or your mail. No doubt you’ve hired someone you can’t afford to do that for you. But if you had, you’d notice that all of your bills are sent from one company. IKK Asset Management.”
I hear only his heavy breathing on the phone. This is fun. I should have done this years ago. “IKK stands for Ian Kincaid Kerr,” I explain.
“B-b-but why?” he stutters.
My good humor is wiped away. “You know why. I’m going to give you an opportunity to do the decent thing. Divorce your wife, renounce your family. Leave the city. I don’t care where you live, but do it quietly because if I hear even one whisper of your name, I’ll end you. Start making arrangements. The longer it takes you to leave town, the more debt I will call in.”
“Surely whatever harm you think I’ve done to you can be ameliorated in some fashion. Ian, old boy, we should meet. In person,” he yelps.
“I can barely stomach talking to you on the phone.”
I hang up. Why I hadn’t threatened Howe earlier I don’t even know. Some misguided idea of chivalry; not wanting to do to Cecilia Howe what Richard had done to my mother. Foolish reasons in retrospect.
The conversation should have left me elated, but instead my stomach is churning. I need to see Tiny, but I don’t know if I should confess after she’d admired my restraint this morning. I run a hand down my face. I’ve rarely been uncertain before, because I’ve lived life without fear.
Now I
have her, and I’m fucking terrified I’ll lose her, and then I’ll be empty again.
She picks up on the fourth ring sounding harried.
“Ian, hi, can you hold for a minute?”
“Sure.” No. I want to see you immediately. I need to hold you.
After a moment she returns. “Sorry. I don’t think I’m made for dispatching. If you’re calling for an afternoon break, I can’t. I feel overwhelmed, and I don’t want to leave the desk. And I’m afraid if I do wander out of the office, I’ll never return. Also you need to eat lunch at a normal time like a normal person instead of at three in the afternoon.” She lowers her voice to a whisper. “How can you stand to work inside all the time?”
“You get used to it.” I push aside the disappointment. I’ll see her tonight. It’s soon enough.
“Blergh. I don’t want to get used to it. I miss biking.” Her voice sounds plaintive.
I don’t bring up the topic of not working at all because I don’t want to get into another argument, but the biking issue is one I can address. “I was thinking I should invest in a cycling company. What was the name of that bike you liked in the SoHo store?”
“You can do that? You can just decide, hey, I want to buy a company because my girlfriend likes what they make?”
“Yes, I can do that.” My lips curve into a smile. She’s probably shaking her head right now.
“That’s weird. Very weird. I’ve got to go. Don’t buy any companies that I like.”
“Why not?”
“Because! You can’t go spending money like that just because I think they make cool stuff.”
“That’s exactly how people should invest, Tiny. You buy things that people around you like because that means that those companies are developing not only brand loyalty but producing a product that meets market desires. It’s an important part of market research.”
“Really? Well, I guess that’s why you’re making millions a day and I’m a bike courier.”
“You’re not a courier anymore.”
Silence.
“Thanks for the reminder. Look, I’ve got to go.”
With that, she disconnects.
Fuck. I screwed that up.
“By the glower on your face, I’m guessing you’re having lunch with me today,” Louis says with forced cheer. I can see he wants to put aside the morning’s uncomfortableness.
“Your powers of observation are legendary.” I drawl but willingly go along. There’s no need to fight with Louis. I’ve come to a decision about him.
“It’s part of why you pay me so much. Come on, I’ll buy you lunch and you can explain why you’re wearing that loud monstrosity of a suit.” Louis stands at the office door and pushes it open.
Heaving to my feet, I finger the lapel. “Tiny picked it out.”
He rolls his eyes. “She is overtaking your life.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” My phone dings and I see it’s a text from Tiny. It’s a small series of pictures. Tiny is dyslexic, so when she texts it’s usually emojis. I refuse to feel weird about that, given it’s the best way for us to communicate. The image of a bicycle, water, and sun next to a sandwich tell me that she wants to go the beach this weekend, bike around, and then eat. I look forward to it. Clicking on the emoji icon for my phone, I search for one that says yes. I settle for the thumbs up.
“You’re worse than a preteen,” Louis says impatiently.
“Louis, if I wanted your opinion, I’d ask for it.” Sticking my phone into my breast pocket, I exit the office. Louis is on my heels. Pausing at Rose’s desk, I say, “We’re off to lunch, but we’ll be back for the SunCorp presentation.”
We cab it to Morimoto’s for lunch since I’ve instructed Steve to sit outside Jake Tanner’s office and make sure no one harms Tiny. I wonder if she’s figured out that he’s been reassigned to bodyguard duty. I’m guessing no because she hasn’t said anything about him to me, and she’s not the type to accept being followed without some discussion.
When she’s not so raw from her mother’s death, and she’s more certain about what she wants to do with her future, we can talk about the safety measures I’d like her to take. For now, I want to keep the lifestyle changes from scaring her off, but if she’s going to be with me she’s going to have to accept that power and a lot of money attract a lot of desperate people.
Steve’s doesn’t like the subterfuge, but he’s keeping quiet for now because discretion is part of his job description.
After ordering, my mind wanders to Tiny again. Steve should deliver her some lunch. Feeding that woman is my new obsession. Along with fucking her, of course. I text Jake.
Are you feeding my woman?
If I say yes, will you view it as an act of aggression and threaten to kill me?
Not today. I’m more concerned that she’s eating. She wouldn’t leave her desk.
I’m pretty sure she hates this job even though she’s doing fine.
Is it her dyslexia?
No, it’s that she has a desk. I have men like that. Hate desks. Can’t work behind them.
Keep your men away from her.
Wait, is it your name on the door here? I thought it was mine. It’s cute, you thinking you can order me around.
The only thing I’d like to order is lunch for Tiny. If it’s too much of a burden for you, then I’ll have Steve do it.
It pains me that you’d use a prime machine like Steve to run errands. She’s already had lunch with her friend, but I can get your six-figure bodyguard to buy her a sandwich from ‘wichcraft, so stop texting me and go buy some company and harass those employees rather than mine.
“In my fantasies you’re currently texting Kaga, asking his advice on SunCorp,” Louis interrupts.
I text Thanks to Jake and then slip my phone into my pocket.
“Your fantasy life sucks then.” I take a sip of Perrier and pick up my chopsticks.
“Don’t you feel like you’ve been drifting these past couple of months?”
Deliberately, I place my utensils back on the table and fold my hands together. Piercing Louis with a look, I ask, “Are you bored, Louis? Because if you’re bored and don’t like the pace of our acquisitions, I am happy to write out a letter of recommendation that you can use to shop for your next job.”
My threat has its intended effect. He clears his throat after a minute. “So it’s like that,” he says with disappointment.
“It’s like that,” I say softly.
“Then no, I’m happy with whatever pace you set.” He gives me a tight smile.
“Great. You and Anna should have dinner with us some night. Let me know when you’re free.”
“Thanks.”
The rest of lunch is spent in silence, but I do text Kaga on the cab ride back, not to pacify Louis but because the chase has always excited me.
The meeting with SunCorp goes long, and it’s not until six that we manage to shunt everyone out of the office. Kaga had left a message with Rose halfway through that he’d heard good things about SunCorp and that the management team was enlightened. I did like them and thought that the investment might make sense, which was why our meeting ran over.
In the washroom attached to my office, I quickly wipe off the residue of the day. I don’t have the time to take a shower even though the attached bathroom contains one. Having a bathroom wasn’t a luxury but a necessity. There were weeks that I would sleep in the office, trying to establish myself, trying to absorb reams of data so I could best decide which investment was the best one.
I’ve been overclocking my engine for years, and Louis has been with me for the past five. It wasn’t unusual for us to work on deals for seventy-two hours at a time, only allowing a few power naps to make sure we weren’t so tired that we’d miss something important. And then there were the week-long regulatory
meetings when we actually were in the process of acquiring, not just investing. I shouldn’t have been so hard on him. Ever since I met Tiny, my entire schedule has been off. Acquisitions aren’t as exciting as they once were.
I hunger for something different now, more physical, more personal. The more time I spend away from her, the more I realize how none of this is very important. Not whether SunCorp can accelerate the harnessing of solar energy and increase stored wattage power and definitely not whether that military tech firm can create an invisible cloak. None of it compares to her.
I’d probably enjoy myself more if I was sitting in the corner of Jake’s front office watching her than enduring any of these meetings. Although I’m not sure how long I’d last before I’d have her bent over the desk.
The mere thought of her ass-up, her thighs wet with arousal, and her tits pressed against the wood desk, makes my pants uncomfortably tight. I decide not to relieve myself. I’ll be home soon.
CHAPTER 5
Tiny looks exhausted when I arrive home. We eat in near silence, and she doesn’t begin talking until we’re in the living room enjoying a little after-dinner wine.
“I feel like a fool complaining about how tired I am when my ass was stuck in a chair the whole day,” she says. I set my glass on the table and gesture for her to turn around so I can rub her tense shoulder muscles.
“Exerting a lot of energy is exhausting. Doesn’t matter if it is physical, mental, or emotional.”
“I used to bike sixty miles a day, and I never felt like this.” Groaning, she dips her head forward in a wordless gesture for me to continue.
Giving her a gentle push forward, I help her into a prone position on the long sectional cushions in the living room. “Let me help you.”
She lies there while I unfasten her pants and remove her shirt.
“I don’t think being Jake’s dispatcher is the right thing for me. I’m making so many errors taking messages and my notes are filled with pictures because it takes me more time to write out a word, but it’s like forcing everyone to play Pictionary with me. I feel stupid. I hate that feeling.”
Taking Control (Kerr Chronicles #2) Page 5
