Although I was mostly doing okay, there were definite gaps in my learning that put me at a disadvantage. In my child development class, I had recently read that childhood crisis takes up to ninety percent of working memory.
That explained a lot.
But I was not going to give myself a pass. What’s done was done.
I told myself if I could do it then, I certainly could do it now.
I had this.
Just not today. I didn’t have it today.
Today was a pain in my ass.
I sighed as I looked at the mountain of work ahead of me, and took another look at my watch. The tutor I had hired from a poster in the bookstore was five minutes late and I was paying by the hour.
Then I looked at my phone buzzing with a text message. It was Reno telling me he might be late.
Reno.
Hope springs eternal.
Reno had been as good as his word. Even after that first day he had continued to give me rides back and forth to school.
While my vehicle sat waiting for the alternator, Reno had told me it was a good idea for the Jeep to have a tune-up. Once I consented to the tune-up, the boys found a whole lot of other things that needed to be replaced or repaired. The Jeep was only a few years old, and Diego had loved it. Since I had firsthand knowledge of just how well my brother-in-law took care of the things that he loved, I was kind of confused at the growing list of replacements and repairs that kept my ride away from me and on the back of Reno’s bike.
But then again a lot about Reno and me was confusing.
For the last few weeks, Reno and I had been on what I guessed you could call a learning curve. We were learning to get back to a place where we had never been before. It was new, strange, and at times oddly frustrating—a place where we were careful with one another. I wasn’t even sure how we had gotten here. Or how long it would last.
From that first ride to class, Reno never brought me right home after school. We would run errands together, go out for lunch, or just take a ride through parts of the area that I had never been to before. On the weekends, if I had a shift to do at Reds, he would pick me up and hang out for a sandwich or a beer. Then he would be there to bring me home.
Reno didn’t spend all of his time with me though; our nights were our own. I spent my nights knee-deep in books. I had no idea who or what Reno spent his nights knee-deep in.
I couldn’t get the scene of him and Cherry out of my mind. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t. It hurt me every time I thought about it. The fact that I knew Cherry was a permanent fixture around the club didn’t help much.
And for Reno’s part, he did nothing to ease my mind. He never asked for my nights and when he dropped me off, he didn’t linger. When we were on the bike, he never leaned into me or let his hand casually brush against my leg like he used to. And apart from that first day, he never held my hand when he walked me to class.
Reno never touched me anymore, even by accident.
CHAPTER 22
Claire?”
I looked up from my studies and recognized the guy with the dreads Reno had asked for directions from my first day on the campus. He was standing by the table. I’d lost five minutes to thoughts of Reno?
I nodded. “Yep, that’s me. Are you my tutor?”
The guy smiled and held out his hand. “Sure am. My name is Julian.”
As we shook hands, he looked at me closely. “Hey, I think I ran into you a while back with some big dude, yeah?”
I nodded.
“How’s it going? You finding your way around okay?”
I shrugged. “I still get confused sometimes.”
“It’s a jungle out there.” He nodded in agreement, then flashed me a smile.
I smiled back. Julian was younger than I was, but not by much. On the skinny side, he sported a full head of light brown dreadlocks, eyes the color of Christmas coal, and skin like warm cinnamon. His wrist bore an array of hemp bracelets, and his shirt read, “I can’t keep calm. I’m a Jamaican.”
“Are you originally from Jamaica?” I asked.
“Yah, mahn.” He grinned. “Mi baan a Jamaican Yardi,” he said in a perfect accent.
I arched an eyebrow and grinned back.
“I was born in Jamaica, but moved here with my mom when I was a kid. I still have family there and go back between semesters,” he said in perfect English.
“And apparently you go back and forth between accents too,” I teased him.
He shrugged. “Yah, mahn.” Then he winked. “It gets me the girls.”
Julian changed his focus to the paper on the table, skimmed through it, and then looked at the comments on the last page.
He glanced up at me. “Dr. Charto’s a raving bitch. I had her last semester. I got her gig down. I can definitely help you with this. I got Bob Marley tied up outside. You mind if we sit on the quad and do this?”
“I’m guessing Bob Marley is your dog?” I asked.
He just looked at me with that bright white smile again. I shook my head and wondered what I had gotten myself into. But I let Julian help me pack up my stuff and I followed him outside where I was introduced to Bob Marley, who was tied up just outside the door. He was an adorable chocolate lab puppy who wagged his tail ferociously at the sight of his owner.
Julian and I sat out on one of the picnic tables that littered the main lawn of the college and I showed him all my notes and the research I had done. “Do you think you can help me get where I need to be?”
He concentrated for a minute then looked at me and nodded. “No worries. You actually got all the facts you need right here. We can make this work. We gonna mash this shit up.”
I had no idea what that meant, but it sounded optimistic. Julian and I spent the better part of the next hour “mashing it up,” which evidently meant working our asses off.
To my great relief, Julian really seemed to know what he was talking about. Once into it, he lost his Jamaican yah, mahn swagger and took his tutoring job seriously. But he tempered that seriousness with a great sense of humor. Just listening to him make jokes about what a pain in the ass some of the professors were made me feel better about myself as a student. He was charging me twenty bucks an hour, and as far as I was concerned, he was worth twice that.
“Yeah. See this paragraph here? Move it about three down and the flow is better. Then you want to throw that statistic table in somewhere near the bottom.” Julian was focused on my laptop screen.
I pointed at the screen. “Right there?”
“No. Right there.” He grabbed my index finger and slid it down to the bottom of the screen. We were shoulder to shoulder. “Now right here you want to stick in a pie chart. That bitch loves the pie charts for real. Pie chart will get you a couple of extra points. Bar graph will just piss her off. That’s it. Now add some color and you’re good to go.” Julian let go of my hand, but leaned in close as we both watched the program work its magic.
At Julian’s instruction I manipulated some more things in the document. Then I paused and looked at him.
“Go for it.” He nodded.
I pressed the send button and grinned with relief. Julian gave me a high five.
“See? You totally rock this.” Julian grinned at me. “And you got a great smile. Listen, don’t worry about this shit. You catch on quick. And if you need more help after today, I’m just a phone call away.”
“Thanks, I feel much better.” I started digging in my wallet for the money to pay him.
“Feel better about what?” I looked up surprised to find Reno looking down at me.
“Hey.” I smiled up at him from the picnic table and looked at my watch. “Wow. Is it that time already?’
“Yeah, it’s that time.” Reno had a tone.
I smiled tentatively at him.
He didn’t smile back. Geesh.
“What’s she feeling so much better about?” he asked again, but this time his focus was on my tutor. The glare in Reno’s eyes said, “Who
the fuck is this?” but thank God his mouth remained in a tight line.
“Hey, man. I’m Julian. I’m Claire’s tutor.” Julian stuck out his hand. “I just helped her tweak a few things in her assignment.”
Reno looked at Julian for a minute. Then he stuck out his hand too.
I watched as Reno’s man paw engulfed Julian’s hand. He winced just before Reno let go.
“Hey, man. I’m just the hired help. No need to crush it.” Julian grinned as he held up his hands in surrender. “But I get it.” He nodded and then looked at me. “I totally get it.”
I felt my face color with embarrassment.
“How much she owe you?” Reno growled.
“Nah. We’re good. It’s cool. She can get me next time.” Julian made himself busy stuffing his things in his backpack.
Reno reached past him and stuffed a bill in his bag. Julian looked at the bill, then looked back at Reno.
“Seriously, dude, it was only about an hour. That’s wayyy too much green.” He looked at me. “Claire, seriously, you can get me next time.”
Before I could answer Reno answered for me.
“There won’t be a next time. But seriously thanks for your help, dude.” Reno crossed his arms. “Now I’m guessing you got somewhere else you need to be.”
I watched my tutor, and probably my only chance of ever getting an A, untie his dog and skedaddle away from me as fast as he could. Despite his protests, I knew how tight money was for a college student. He was probably afraid that Reno was going to change his mind and take back whatever exorbitant payoff he had just slipped into his bag. Or he was afraid that Reno was going to the beat the shit out of him.
I turned from the rapidly exiting Julian to the firmly planted Reno. “Really?” I hissed. “What was that?”
“You get what you need from that guy?” Reno stood with his arms still folded and flexed against his chest.
“From my tutor, you mean?”
“Okay, you want to call him that, we’ll call him that. You get what you need?”
“Yeah. I got what I need.” I glared at him.
“Then there’s not a problem.”
“Yeah. Okay. Not a problem.” I collected my work papers, while I fought back both tears threatening and my need to scratch out Reno’s eyes.
“What’s the deal here, Claire?” Reno’s voice rumbled close to my ear.
I went nose to nose with him. “The deal here, Reno, is that there is a problem. A big one. You just scared off my tutor. And I needed him.”
“They got women for that,” he growled.
“What?” I pulled back and looked at him, stunned.
Oh no. He. Did. Not.
“They got women for that,” Reno repeated.
I just stared at him. “I heard what you said, I just can’t believe you said it,” I hissed. I grabbed my bag and started walking away from him.
“Bike’s over this way, Claire,” Reno called out to me.
“I’m taking the bus, Reno,” I spat back.
All of a sudden he was walking beside me.
“Don’t you have someone else you need to go scare today?” I snarled.
“Babe,” he said.
“No? Well, too bad. Let’s see if I can help you out with that. I’m going to the grocery store later. The bag boy sometimes brings the heavy stuff out to my car. You could probably rough him up a little bit,” I said.
“Very funny,” Reno said.
I stopped and swung around then to look at him.
“Actually, it’s not funny. There is nothing funny about it. I am drowning here, Reno. I am paying thousands of dollars for just this semester alone, and I am not even a month in and I am drowning.”
“You’re smart, Babe, you’ll get there. Shit. They let you in, didn’t they?” He looked at me warily.
“Yeah, they let me in. Doesn’t mean they are gonna let me stay in. There are academic standards.” I narrowed my eyes at him.
I threw my book bag down, rifled through it, and found the source of my shame and frustration.
“And this does not meet those standards.” I fisted the paper and waved it in his face. “It’s a D. Not an A or a B or even a goddamn C. It’s a D. And the worst part is I don’t even know what I did wrong. Julian knows what he is doing and he agreed to help me. He is a tutor, for chrissakes. That’s what he does. As a matter of fact, I was lucky that I could get him. You just messed that up for me.”
“Well you can just get him back, then. He said you could call him.” Reno squinted and he rubbed the back of his neck.
“Yeah. And you think he’s gonna come running knowing my big bad boyfriend is waiting around the corner to break the bones in his hand and pay him off to stay away?” I snarled. “Just forget it.”
“Your boyfriend?” Reno grinned.
“I didn’t say boyfriend.” I looked at him, startled.
“Yeah, Babe. You did. You said boyfriend.”
“Oh, shut up.” I started to walk away again.
“Okay, so maybe I overreacted a little. But he had his hands all over you.” He was walking beside me.
I rolled my eyes and kept walking.
“If you really need his help. I’ll call him for you. He won’t say no to me,” Reno continued.
“Yeah. Good idea. That’ll work,” I snarled.
“Come on, Babe. You know you aren’t getting on that bus.” Reno was in front of me now, walking backwards.
“Watch me.” I kept walking.
“Hey, you hungry?”
I glared at him. Then my stomach growled.
“Yeah, you’re hungry.” He smirked.
“The only thing I am hungry for is knowledge,” I huffed with deliberate drama.
Reno stopped short in front of me, and when I almost bumped into him, he grabbed me by the arms.
“Knowledge. That’s good. That’s real good, Babe.” He smirked again. “I get it. I can do knowledge. Call a truce long enough to get your ass on my bike and let me take you out for a sandwich, okay? And if you are a real good girl, I’ll teach ya a few things on the way.”
I just shook my head. Because really, that was kind of funny, and despite the very frustrating and embarrassing thing that had just happened with Julian, I needed a laugh, a sandwich, and a few minutes to stop worrying about school. So I gave in; after all, a girl has got to eat.
CHAPTER 23
I’m fucking starving.” Reno grabbed the waitress by the elbow and ordered a couple of sandwiches and two coffees for the two of us.
She served the coffees right away and dimpled at him. I took a minute to see him through her eyes and I didn’t blame her. Being mad at him didn’t change the fact that he was one seriously good-looking guy.
Then, because I needed something to do other than look at him, I took a gulp of the scalding hot coffee.
My eyes went bright with the effort it took to force it down.
“Hot?” Reno’s eyes smiled at me.
“Just a little.” I frowned.
He held my eyes for a minute, then picked up one of my General Psychology books. To my surprise, Reno began to thumb through it.
“So how’s it going, so far? Do you think these books are going to help you figure shit out?” He looked from the book to me.
Reno was familiar with my quest for the normal.
“It’s not like that.” I waved at the book. “It’s just an entry-level course.”
“Really? Let’s take a look. Yeah, I see what you mean, but, hey, chapter thirteen looks kind of interesting. There’s a whole section here on stimulus. You a little foggy on what stimulation is, Claire?” He grinned.
“Very funny. Give it to me, Reno.”
As I reached for the textbook, Reno held it up and away from me. His eyes twinkled and his tone turned teasing. Annoyed, I reached up to take the book back from him. When I did, he surprised me by putting his hand against my cheek and drawing me to him.
Then with his mouth against my ear, he wh
ispered.
“Just say the word, Claire. And I’ll be happy to give it to you.”
And there it was. The tingle that set my whole body on edge. Damn it.
I made another swipe for the book.
“Stop it Reno. Stimulus and stimulation are two entirely different things and you know it. You know it’s not the same.” I grabbed the book, exasperated.
“Yeah, Babe, it’s not the same for me either.” He looked hard at me.
“Well, you could have fooled me.” Despite all my good intentions not to let him bait me, I let him bait me.
“What?” Reno asked.
“Cherry still hanging out at the clubhouse?” I asked. If the tutor was fair game, then so was the stripper.
“Who?” Reno honestly looked confused.
I looked around quickly to make sure no one else was watching us, then I pointed to my nipples and made small circular motions with my index fingers.
“You know, Miss Flame Thrower,” I snarled.
Reno stared at me for a minute, then burst out laughing.
“Baby, you know what that was.”
“No, baby, actually I don’t. But I’d like to know, I really would,” I huffed, because really when it came down to it, I had no idea where Reno and Cherry stood. Or where Reno and I stood.
Reno stopped smiling and he looked at me. “You would, huh?”
“No, just forget it, Reno,” I said with exasperation. “Let’s just keep on pretending at whatever this is.”
“Pretending at whatever this is?” He narrowed his eyes at me. “Really? That’s how you see this?” Reno’s eyes met mine for what seemed to be forever. He threw a twenty down on the table and pulled me up from my seat.
Chasing Claire (Hells Saints Motorcycle Club) Page 10
