“Yes, I will. I finish at two o'clock, I'll be home when Bernie comes home at night, and all afternoon with Jane.” It was hard to find fault with that, and the maitre d' came to lead them to their table then. When they sat down, she questioned them about the wisdom of living together before their wedding. She didn't think it was good for Jane, she said primly, as Liz blushed. He had told her it was only for two days and she was somewhat mollified, but everything was cause for comment that night. Not that the night was so different from any other. Ruth Fine always made comment on anything she chose to.
“Christ, and she wonders why I hate seeing her,” he said to Liz afterwards. Even his father's efforts to make the evening go more smoothly hadn't appeased him.
“She can't help it, sweetheart. You're her only child.”
“That's the best argument I've heard for having twelve of them. She drives me nuts sometimes. No, make that all the time.” He looked less than amused and Liz smiled at him.
“She'll relax. Or at least I hope she will. Did I pass the test?”
“Brilliantly.” He reached over and slid a hand up her dress. “My father was drooling over your legs all night. Every time you moved, I saw him look down at them.”
“He's very sweet. And he's a very interesting man. He was explaining several complicated surgical techniques to me and I think I actually understood them. I had some very nice talks with him while you talked to your mother.”
“He loves talking about his work.” Bernie looked at her tenderly. But he was still annoyed at his mother. She had been such a pain in the ass all night, but she always was. She loved torturing him. And now she had Liz to torture too, and maybe even Jane. The very thought depressed him.
He poured himself a drink before they went to bed that night, and they sat in front of the fire, talking of their wedding plans. He was going to dress at a friend's the next day. And Liz would dress at the house with Jane, and Tracy was coming, and she would go to the temple with them. Bernie was picking his parents up separately in a limousine. Bill Robbins, Liz' architect friend with the house at Stinson Beach, was giving her away. They had been friends for years, and although they didn't see much of each other, he was a serious man, and she liked him. And he seemed the appropriate choice for that role in her wedding.
They were both feeling mellow and happy as they stared at the fire and talked.
“I still feel badly about leaving Jane for three weeks,” he confessed to her.
“Don't,” she said, laying her head back against him. “We have a right to it. We've hardly had any time alone.” She was right of course but he still remembered how sad Jane had looked earlier that night when she had objected to staying with Tracy.
“She's so little though …she's only five …what does she know from honeymoons?”
Liz smiled at him with a sigh. She was sorry to leave her too. She seldom had before. But this time she felt she had to for their sakes, and she had come to terms with that. She was comfortable about it now, but it pleased her that he was so concerned about how Jane felt. He was going to be a wonderful father. “You're a big softie, you know that. A giant marshmallow.” She loved that about him. He was the sweetest man in the world, and when Jane turned up in their bed again that night, he lifted her in gently so they wouldn't wake her mother up, and he cuddled her close to him. She was beginning to feel like his own child, and he was surprised himself at the love he had for her. They tiptoed out of bed the next day, brushed their teeth side by side, and made breakfast for Liz, and brought it to her on a tray with a rose in a vase that Bernie put there for her.
“Happy wedding day!” they intoned simultaneously, and she looked up with a sleepy smile.
“Happy wedding day, you guys …when did you get up?” She looked at Bernie, then at Jane, and suspected there was a conspiracy she didn't know about, but neither of them would confess and she sat up to eat the breakfast they had made.
Bernie disappeared after that, and went to his friend's to dress. The wedding was at noon, and they had plenty of time, as Liz carefully braided Jane's hair with thin white satin ribbons. She put on the beautiful white velvet dress they had chosen together at Wolffs, and Liz put a little crown of baby's breath in her hair. She wore little white socks, and brand-new black patent leather Mary Janes, and a navy blue wool coat Bernie had bought in Paris for her. She looked like a little angel as she stood at the door, waiting for Liz, who took her hand and walked outside to the waiting limousine Bernie had ordered for her. She wore a white satin Dior dress, with big bell sleeves and a skirt that stopped at her ankles, so one could see the equally exquisite Dior shoes. Everything she wore was the color of antique ivory, including the matching headpiece that held back her hair as it cascaded down her back like a young girl's. She looked incredible and Tracy looked at her with tears in her eyes.
“May you always be as happy as you are right now, Liz.” She brushed away her tears and smiled down at Jane. “Your mom sure looks good, doesn't she?”
“She does.” Jane gazed at her mother admiringly. She was the prettiest lady she had ever seen.
“And so do you.” Tracy gently touched the braids, remembering her own little girl, and they got into the car and drove to Arguello Boulevard and got out at Temple Emanuel. It was beautiful, and there was something awesome about it as they walked inside. Liz felt her breath catch and her heart pound as she squeezed Jane's hand tight, and the little girl looked up at her as they exchanged a smile. It was a big day for both of them.
Bill Robbins was waiting for her in a dark blue suit, his sober gray beard and kind eyes making him look like a church elder, and the guests were already sitting in the pews as the music began, and suddenly Liz realized what was happening. It had all been like a dream up till then, and now suddenly it was real, and as she looked down the aisle, she saw Bernie standing there, with Paul Berman next to him, and the Fines in the front pew. But it was only Bernie she saw now, bearded, handsome, dignified, waiting for her, as she walked slowly down the aisle to him, to begin her new life.
Chapter 12
The reception at the Alta Mira was a great success, and everyone seemed to have a good time as they stood on the terrace and looked at the view. It wasn't as elaborate as one of the big hotels might have been but it had more charm and Liz had always loved the quaintness of it, and Bernie agreed with her. Even his mother couldn't find fault with anything. Bernie danced with her for the first dance, and his father with Liz and then they switched, and after a little while, Paul Berman cut in on him, and Bernie danced with Tracy while Paul danced with Liz. And after that Bernie danced with Jane, who was thrilled to be included in the ritual. “So what do you think, old girl? Is everything okay?” “Yup.” She looked happier again, but he was still worried about leaving her when they went away. He was taking his brand-new parental responsibilities to heart and Liz had teased him about it again the night before. She worried about Jane too, and she had hardly ever left her in the past five years, but she knew that she'd be safe with Tracy, and they had a right to their honeymoon after all.
“I'm Jewish, what do you expect?” He had claimed finally. “Guilt is important to me.”
“Use it on something else. She'll be fine.” And after his dance with her, he led her to the buffet and helped her collect everything she wanted there, and he deposited her next to her new grandmother and went off to dance with his wife again.
“Hello.” Jane looked up at Ruth, who was staring carefully at her. “I like your hat. What kind of fur is it?” Ruth was somewhat taken aback at the question, but she thought her a pretty child, and fairly polite from what she'd seen of her so far.
“It's mink.”
“It looks nice with your dress …the dress is the same color as your eyes. Did you know that?” She was fascinated by her as she looked at every detail, and in spite of herself Ruth smiled at her.
“You have beautiful blue eyes.”
“Thank you. They're like my mom's. My father is dead, you kn
ow.” She said it matter-of-factly, with her mouth half full of roast beef, and suddenly Ruth felt sorry for her. It couldn't have been an easy life for Liz or the girl before Bernie came along. She saw Bernie in the light of a savior now, but so did Liz, so there was no harm in that. Neither Liz nor Jane would have disagreed with her. Only Bernie might.
“I'm sorry to hear about your dad.” She didn't know what else to say.
“Me too. But I have a new daddy now.” She looked proudly at Bernard, and Ruth's eyes filled with tears. And then Jane looked unexpectedly at Ruth. “You're the only grandmother I have, you know.”
“Oh.” She was embarrassed for the child to see her cry. And she reached out and touched her little hand. “That's very nice. You're my only grandchild too.” Jane smiled up at her adoringly and squeezed her hand.
“I'm glad you're so nice to me. I was scared before we met.” Bernie had introduced them that morning at the temple, very carefully. “I thought maybe you'd be real old, or mean or something.”
Ruth looked horrified. “Did Bernie say that to you?”
“No.” She shook her head. “He said you were wonderful.” Ruth beamed at her. The child was adorable, and she patted her hand and caught a cookie off a passing tray and handed it to her. Jane broke the cookie in two, and handed her the remaining half, which Ruth ate, still holding her hand. The two were fast friends by the time Liz went to change out of her wedding gown. And as Jane saw her mother disappear and realized what time it was, she suddenly began to cry silently, as Bernie caught a glimpse of her from across the room, and came hurrying to her side.
“What's the matter, sweetheart?” His mother had gone for a last dance with the father of the groom. Bernie bent and put an arm around her.
“I don't want you and Mommy to go.” Her voice was a tiny wail, and he felt his heart breaking in half.
“We won't be gone that long.” But three weeks seemed an eternity to her, and he wasn't sure he disagreed with her. It seemed like a hell of a long time to leave her with someone else, and as Tracy approached, Jane only cried more, and a moment later Ruth had returned, and Jane clung to her as though she'd always known her.
“Good lord, what's happening?” Bernie explained and Ruth looked sorry for her. “Why don't you take her along?” She whispered to her son.
“I'm not sure Liz would think that's such a great idea…. It is our honeymoon. …”
His mother looked at him reproachfully and then down at the crying child. “Could you forgive yourself for that? Could you really have a good time thinking about her?” He grinned at her.
“I love you, Mom.” Guilt did it every time. And a moment later he went to find Liz and told her what he thought.
“You can't take her with us. We don't have anything packed, we don't even have a room for her at the hotel.”
“So we'll get one…. We'll stay somewhere else if we have to. …”
“What if we can't get another room?”
“Then she'll sleep with us.” He grinned. “And we'll take another honeymoon.”
“Bernard Fine …what's happened to you?” But she was smiling at him, grateful to have found a man who loved her child so much. She had had qualms about leaving her anyway, and in some ways this was easier. “Okay. Now what? Do we run home and pack?”
“As fast as we can.” He glanced at his watch, and then ran out to the reception again, kissed his mother hastily, shook hands with Paul Berman, and his father, and swept Jane into his arms as Liz appeared and the rice began to fly. Jane looked frightened suddenly, as though she didn't understand and thought he was saying goodbye, but he tightened his arms around her and whispered in her ear. “You're coming with us. Just close your eyes so you don't get rice in them.” She squeezed them tightly shut and grinned happily as he held her in one powerful arm, and grabbed Liz' hand with his free hand, and they raced for the door as rose petals and rice flew, and a moment later they were in the limousine, speeding back to San Francisco.
It took them ten minutes to pack Jane's things, including all the bathing suits he'd bought her the summer before, and they made the plane on time. There was one seat left in first class, and he bought it for Jane, hoping they would be as lucky at the hotel, and Jane grinned at them as she boarded the plane. Sweet victory! She was going with them. She bounced happily on Bernie's lap, and then slept peacefully in her mother's arms as they flew west. They had all gotten married. And Bernie leaned over and kissed Liz gently on the lips as the lights in the plane went down so the movie could come on.
“I love you, Mrs. Fine.”
“I love you,” she mouthed so as not to wake the sleeping child. And she nestled her head gently against his and dozed until they reached Hawaii. They spent the night in Waikiki and the next day flew on to Kona on the island of Hawaii. They had reservations at the Mauna Kea Resort Hotel, and the gods were smiling on them. They were able to get one room adjoining theirs by turning in the suite Bernie had reserved for them, but at least they didn't have to share a room with the child, not that it mattered in the end. There was a monster under her bed at Mauna Kea too, and she spent most nights sleeping between them in the big bed, as the sun came up over the palm trees. It was a honeymoon they shared, all three of them, and a story Bernie knew they would tell for years as he grinned sheepishly over her head at Liz at night, and sometimes they just lay in bed and laughed at how funny it was.
“Paris, in the spring, I swear!” He held up a hand like a good boy scout and she laughed at him.
“Until she cries again.”
“No, this time, I promise … no guilt!”
“Ha!” But she didn't mind. She was glad. She leaned over Jane's sleeping form and kissed him again. This was their life after all, and they shared it with Jane. It was a heavenly three weeks and the three of them returned from “their” honeymoon brown and happy and relaxed and Jane bragged to everyone that she had gone on her Mommy's honeymoon. It was a memory the three of them would cherish forever.
Chapter 13
The months after Hawaii seemed to fly, and they were busy all the time. Bernie was scheduling all the summer and fall shows for the store, planning for new merchandise, having meetings with people from New York. Liz was busy with the house, and she always seemed to be cooking, baking, or sewing for him. There was absolutely nothing the woman didn't do. She also entertained for him, and did everything herself. She even grew roses in the little garden on Buchanan Street, and she and Jane had a vegetable garden on the deck which Tracy had helped them start. Life seemed very full these days, and April came along almost immediately. It was time for him to go to New York on a trip for the store, and then on to Europe as he did every year at that time. Liz had never been to New York or Europe before and he could hardly wait to take her. In some ways, he was tempted to take Jane too, but he had promised Liz this would be their real honeymoon, and an excellent solution had come along. He had planned the trip so that Liz would be on vacation from school for two weeks, and Jane was, too, of course, so they were taking her to stay with Grandma and Grandpa Fine, and she was so excited about that, she hardly seemed to mind that she wasn't going to Europe with them.
“And …” she announced on the plane, “we're going to Radio City Music Hall!” It was to be a triumphant tour. The Museum of Natural History to see the dinosaurs, which she was studying in school, the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty. She could hardly wait, and neither could Ruth, from what Bernie could gather on the phone. Their phone calls were much easier these days. Liz was constantly calling Ruth just to say hello and give her the news, which took the pressure off him, and all his mother wanted to do was talk to Jane anyway. It was amazing that she liked the child so much, but Jane doted on her. She loved the idea of having a grandmother now, and she had asked Bernie very solemnly one day if she could use his name in school.
“Of course.” He had been stunned when she asked, but she had been serious. And she had become Jane Fine officially in school the next day. She h
ad come home beaming at him. “Now I'm married to you too,” she said. But Liz seemed pleased as well, and she was relieved to know that Jane would be in good hands while they were away. Tracy would have been her first choice at home, but she and Jane didn't always get along these days. Jane was becoming more sophisticated than their old friend, which made Tracy laugh. She was relaxed about it, and happy that the threesome were as happy as they obviously were.
And in New York, “Grandma Ruth” was waiting for the plane at Kennedy.
“How's my little sweetheart?” For the first time in his life, Bernie felt no one hanging on his neck with those words and for a moment it felt strange to him, and then he watched Jane fly into his mother's arms and it brought tears to his eyes as he shook his father's hand and Liz kissed them hello, and then he gave his mother a hug, and Liz kissed her too, and the five of them went home to Scarsdale chattering and talking all at once. It was as though suddenly they had become a family instead of enemies, and he realized that Liz had done that for them. She had a remarkable way of touching everyone, and he saw her smiling at his mother in the car as the two women exchanged a knowing look about something Jane had said, and then they smiled. It was a relief to know that his parents had accepted her. He had been afraid they never would, but he hadn't realized the impact that being grandparents would have on them.
“And now my name is just like yours,” she announced proudly in the car, and then got serious. “It's a lot easier to spell. I never could spell the other one.” She grinned toothlessly. She had just lost her first tooth that week, and told her grandmother how much the tooth fairy had brought.
“Fifty cents?” Ruth was clearly impressed. “It used to be only ten cents.”
“That was in the olden days,” Jane said with disgust, and then kissing her grandmother's cheek, she whispered to her. “I'll buy you an ice cream cone, Grandma.” As her heart melted in the child's small hands.
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