by Casey, Ryan
Who threw itself onto her.
Who pressed her down into the ground and clenched her wrists into the dirt.
She thought the infected had bitten her. Thought that her time was up. But in a mad rush, she’d managed to shake herself free of it. Fire at its head, three times, as painful as those actions were.
And she’d watched as he rolled off her. Rolled over in the dirt.
She knew right then that something was wrong. That something was awfully wrong.
Because the man she shot was her husband.
Only it couldn’t be her husband. It just couldn’t, because—
Another noise. This time to the right. Amanda stopped this time. Squinted through the trees. She could just about make them out now, the clouds making way for the moonlight above. She panted. Tried to ease her breaths, to calm her racing heart. Her feet stung after all the running she’d put herself through.
But she had to get back to New Britain.
She had to tell them what she’d witnessed. What she’d seen.
She was about to take another breath when she saw the branches of the trees opposite her move.
She froze. Froze completely. Like ice had covered her body.
She watched as the branches swayed. Listened to the approaching footsteps.
She knew what she had to do. Knew there was only one thing she could do.
She put her hand on the gun. Lifted it. Pointed it into the trees.
Waited.
She waited and waited. And the longer she waited, unable to run through fear, the more Amanda wondered if maybe she’d just imagined what she’d seen. If her mind was playing tricks on her. It was a perfectly valid assumption to make. After all, with what she’d been through, it wasn’t too surreal to think an element of fantasy might be creeping into this.
She’d seen stranger things tonight. Witnessed stranger things.
And that’s why she couldn’t allow herself to get caught. That’s why she couldn’t die, not here, not now.
Not while she had a secret to share.
She held the gun. Pointed it a little longer right at that spot.
Waited.
Still nothing.
She couldn’t wait here forever. She had to make a move. She had to—
She heard something behind her.
Something racing towards her.
Footsteps.
This time, she didn’t turn and point the gun.
She didn’t wait. Not for anything.
She just started running again.
She pelted through the trees. She could still hear the footsteps behind her, but they were too close for her to take the time to turn and aim.
She had to keep running.
She had to keep going.
She couldn’t stop, no matter what.
She felt the branches of the trees lashing at her face. She thought about the people back at New Britain that she cared about. Her son, Alex. All her friends—Gary, Peter, Anita. All of them were waiting for her to get back. All of them were counting on her.
And she had news that could help them. News that could save them.
She couldn’t let them down. It was her duty to protect them.
She wasn’t sure whether she could still hear the footsteps behind her. Wasn’t sure whether the gasping she could hear was her own or someone else’s—something else’s.
Didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore.
She just had to get back to New Britain.
She just had to get back to—
She saw the trees part right beside her.
And then she saw the walls of New Britain right ahead.
She stopped. Stopped for a second. Just long enough that she heard the footsteps definitely pacing her way.
And then she started running again.
Running faster than she’d ever run before.
Because she had to get back. She had to get to her people. She had to tell them what she knew. To protect them. To—
She felt something. Something sharp, right between her eyes.
For a split second of awareness, Amanda knew what’d happened. She’d seen the flash at the top of the wall. She’d heard the blast.
She’d been shot.
But that moment of awareness didn’t last long.
Milliseconds later, she dropped to her knees.
Landed on the ground.
Blackness surrounded her.
The secret died with her.
Chapter Five
Hayden felt the needle prick his forearm and he bit his lip through the pain.
“Never gets any more pleasant,” he said.
The labbie, a woman called Millie, just smiled at him with a flat expression. She had golden hair, was pretty petite. Quite a nice looking girl in truth. But she was always under the thumb of Daniel, the guy who’d discovered the immunisation in the first place, along with his bunch of wacky scientists.
Hayden could never tell when Daniel was happy or annoyed.
But he could tell from Millie’s transparent mannerisms whether he was in trouble or not.
Right now, Millie was acting weird. That wasn’t a good sign for Hayden.
Two days had passed since the attack outside the walls. There’d been a delayed response to events. First, there was shock. Misunderstanding. Of course, the people in the upper echelons of New Britain tried to keep the attack quiet. But realistically, how could they? People had died. Two had gone missing. News like that didn’t stay quiet, not in the old world, and especially not in the new one.
They’d found Amanda’s body, at least. Found her amongst the shot-down infected from that night before. That was something. It was closure.
“Daniel wants a word with you,” Millie said. She pushed the canister of blood along in front of her.
Hayden felt sickly, dizzy. The bright lights of this windowless lab room combined with the blood loss never had him feeling a million pounds. But he smiled at Millie anyway. Nodded. “Thanks.”
“Try not to move around too quickly. And when you get home, you should—”
“Eat something sweet and sugary,” Hayden interrupted. “Right.”
He smiled at Millie again. Tried to get an honest expression out of her too. He hoped maybe she’d let him go. That maybe she’d spare him the conversation with Daniel.
The door outside the lab room opened. Daniel stepped out, walked towards Hayden.
He might’ve known. You never got away from Daniel that easily. Never.
“Hayden,” Daniel said. He walked into the room wearing his usual black suit. His smile was constant, even when he wasn’t best pleased, which Hayden always found a nightmare. He spoke softly, but with authority. There was always a smell of premium aftershave about him.
Again, another thing that annoyed the hell out of Hayden.
Hayden stood. He stuck a plaster on his arm. He felt a little dizzy, but took a few steadying breaths and eased to his feet. “I was just heading—”
“The attack. Outside the walls.”
Daniel’s frankness never ceased to amaze Hayden. Unlike most people, he didn’t dance around topics. He didn’t take the typical British humble approach and attempt to disguise his words.
He just stood there with that smile of his and brought it up, frank as he could.
“Yeah. We haven’t had a chance to talk about that properly,” Hayden said, rubbing the back of his neck.
“For what it’s worth, I think you made the right call.”
Hayden narrowed his eyes. “What?”
“Going outside those walls and chasing after Amanda. It would’ve been reckless. The moment she stepped into those woods… well, if what you saw is really as dreadful as you make it out to be, then you did the right thing not putting yourself in jeopardy.”
Daniel walked over to the side of the chair where Hayden had sat for his blood extraction. The combination of the blood loss and the surprise at Daniel’s words made Hayden’s head spin.
“You’re important, H
ayden. Important regardless of what you saw outside the gates. You’re the first person we managed to cure. The only person we’ve ever completely reversed the effects of the virus in, and gone on to live a relatively normal life. Your safety is paramount. You made the right decision for the people of New Britain.”
Hayden nodded. He felt his cheeks heating up. He’d felt a strange sense of guilt before speaking to Daniel. Now, he wasn’t so sure. He felt justified. Justified in his actions.
He felt like leaving Amanda to get chased into the woods was the right decision. Not just for him, like Miriam claimed it was. But for this entire place. For everyone.
“On which note, considering this is just an isolated incident, I’m thinking it’s time we returned you from your role up there guarding the wall and put you to more effective use.”
A knot built in Hayden’s stomach. He didn’t like it when Daniel was mysterious. “More effective use?”
Daniel sat. Interlocked his palms. “I’m thinking we should get you out into the world. Start tracking down fellow survivors. Fellow groups. We’ve immunised the vast majority of residents inside New Britain. Isn’t it time we thought about immunising those who aren’t so fortunate to be in our company? I think you’d lead a scouting team brilliantly.”
Hayden felt his muscles tighten. A bitter taste filled his mouth.
Memories of the outside.
Being outside, the people out there.
His sister, Clarice.
The way Ally chopped her head from her shoulders.
The man driving the bus. Sarah’s death.
All of them merging together.
All of them, people. Groups.
All of them products of the outside world.
Hayden felt sweat building on his forehead. He scratched at his nose. “I—I don’t—”
“Of course, it would be nice to find the people who’ve gone missing lately, wouldn’t it?”
Hayden could only stare.
Daniel smiled back. “Perhaps they’re still out there. Out there with another group. Living their lives. Do you think that’s possible, Hayden?”
Hayden wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t sure how much Daniel actually knew and how much he was just toying with him. “I think that’d put the people inside New Britain in danger.”
“I’m starting to see that.”
“What does that mean?”
Daniel kept his eyes on Hayden. And although that smile was still there, for the first time, Hayden thought he saw a darkness creeping through it. The look of suspicion. “I know what happened on the night of Amanda’s disappearance, Hayden. And I’m starting to wonder if it wasn’t such an isolated event.”
Hayden felt the hairs on the back of his neck sticking up. He knew he had to try something. Something to get out of this place. Something to get away from here. “I need to get back. Lie down.”
He walked away from Daniel, towards the lab door.
“I know you’ve let people die, Hayden. I know it’s not an isolated event. And while your motives may be proper, your methods are not. You do not have the right to play God, as much as a god to these people as you may be. Don’t you see that?”
Hayden stopped. He stopped by the door. He wanted to open up to Daniel. He wanted to tell him why he’d done what he’d done. Daniel might understand, but who else would?
How would he explain to the people of New Britain that he’d killed his own people to keep this place safe?
“I need to go,” Hayden repeated. He started to walk.
“Think about my words. Think about them very carefully. This place isn’t just yours. It isn’t surviving on your rules. Sometimes, you have to have faith—”
“I’ve had my faith pissed on too many times to screw around anymore,” Hayden spat.
He didn’t intend for the words to come out quite so venomous. But he knew the second he spoke them that Daniel would know the truth now. He’d know exactly what Hayden had done to Amanda.
He thought back to his night shift as he walked away from the labs.
Thought back to raising that gun.
To seeing her—Amanda—running towards the walls of New Britain. Infected behind her.
Chasing her.
But no. He told himself as he aimed that gun at Amanda that he thought she was one of them. He told himself that he was worried about what she might be bringing back to the place he loved, the place he had to protect with his life, so he’d done what he had to do.
There was no way it looked like he’d shot Amanda dead as she ran for her life.
There was no way it looked like he’d killed her to protect New Britain.
Because that’s all he was doing. Protecting New Britain. Keeping his people safe.
That’s all he cared about.
He’d not done the right thing. But he’d done the only thing.
Hadn’t he?
Chapter Six
Hayden took a sip of his beer and tried to forget everything.
It was still early morning, but it felt like the day had dragged on. Outside, through the dusty windows of the Red Lion pub, Hayden saw the sun shining brightly. Part of it made him happy. Made him grateful for where he was, for the life he was living.
But what Daniel said. His suspicions about Hayden putting Amanda down—an uninfected Amanda.
It was getting to him.
Hayden looked around the pub. It was pretty quiet inside, which made sense for this time of morning. The bartender, Mike, walked around with a smile on his face, enjoying his life. Because that’s how it should be in here. People should be able to enjoy their lives. To forget about the horrors outside the walls and just zone out.
But the events of the last few days had reminded Hayden that it wasn’t so easy to switch off. Once you stepped back into the life—the life of the outsider—you couldn’t just change your colours again all that easily.
Which was why he could never become that outsider again. Ever.
That’s just why he had to stay here. Inside New Britain. Never to venture out. Comfort zone or whatever, it was where he was safe, where Miriam and the people he cared about were safe, and that was the most important thing.
He took another sip of the beer. It tasted acidic. He used to be able to knock loads of beers back, lose himself to its calming, numbing state. And as he sat there, staring at the glass as the sun shone in the window and through it, he thought about just how much he’d changed from the old waste of space he used to be. Sitting around in his boxers, waking up in his own sweat and puke. He was a waste of breath. A waste of oxygen. He’d grown so much since the world ended. What a horrible way to look at the downfall of humanity.
That’s why Miriam was wrong about him and his “comfort zone”. She didn’t know the old him. She didn’t know what he used to be like. How far he’d come. How long he’d spent just trying to fit in somewhere. To find somewhere he could truly call home.
And that’s why he never wanted to leave it.
That’s why he’d shot Amanda.
Because he’d seen what the infected were doing out there. How they were acting. And he didn’t want to risk anything to do with it getting inside these walls. Ever.
As long as enough people believed that Amanda was infected when Hayden shot her, everything would be okay. There wouldn’t be a story.
As long as Daniel let it drop, everything would be fine.
He went to take another sip of his beer when he heard the door to the pub open.
He didn’t turn around. Didn’t look to see who it was. Not at first.
But when he heard his voice, he knew exactly who it was.
“Bit early for a drink, don’t you think?”
Hayden put the glass down. He turned. Nodded. “Try having half a pint of blood pulled out of you every week. Think I’ve earned it.”
Gary didn’t smile back at Hayden. He didn’t smile at much, in truth. He pulled up a barstool, sat right beside Hayden. Considering Hayden saw a bit of
Gary—they were both rotating shifts on defending the wall—he realised right then how little he actually knew him.
Other than Gary was a good friend of Amanda’s. A very good friend.
That’s what worried Hayden.
“Nice day to be stuck inside,” Gary said.
Hayden nodded. He tried to make eye contact with Gary. Tried to figure out whether he was just messing with him or whether he knew something about Amanda, too. He’d been there when the attack broke out. When Amanda disappeared into the woods, and Hayden told him she was gone—that they were all gone.
But then a group had been outside the following morning. Pulled Amanda’s body back in. Found the gunshot in her head. No sign of other infected around her.
Although there was no real trace of wrongdoing, he knew Daniel suspected something wasn’t right. So what about Gary?
“You know what I find strange?” Gary said.
Hayden braced himself for whatever barrage Gary was preparing. He wasn’t a guy to mess with. Better built than Hayden. Had this handlebar tache that made him look even more intimidating. “Go on.”
“Humour me for a second,” Gary said. He shuffled closer to Hayden. “You’re on watch. You see the scouting team out there get attacked. Killed, right then. Right?”
Hayden swallowed. “I didn’t say I saw them all—”
“No, you did,” Gary said. “You said you saw every one of ’em as good as dead. Even Amanda.”
“I saw her get chased into the woods.”
“But you didn’t see ’em attack Amanda, did you?”
“I think it’s safe to assume they were going to attack her after—”
“But you didn’t, did you?”
Hayden closed his mouth. Waited a few seconds. There was nothing he could say other than the truth. “No.”
Gary nodded. “So you don’t see Amanda die. But you tell me there’s no point going after her. None at all. And then that same night, you pop a bullet through her head.”
“I didn’t know it was her. She must’ve been running towards me. With the other infected.”
“So she was infected?”
Hayden nodded. “She definitely looked—”
“You know, without a shadow of a doubt that she was infected?”
