by Casey, Ryan
In the end, there was nothing more important than that.
Hayden felt a hand on his right arm. He turned and saw Miriam looking at him.
He could see her face in the dim light now. And he could see that she was smiling.
“You’ve done good,” she said.
She squeezed his arm a little tighter.
“Thank—”
A sound rattled through the tunnel. A sound accompanied by a bright flash of light. It knocked Hayden right back. Knocked Miriam away too. Sent them all flying to the ground.
Hayden didn’t understand what’d happened as his head cracked against the solid ground. He tasted blood as he bit through his tongue. His ears rang. The smell of smoke and a build in heat intensified.
“Miriam!” he shouted. “Amy!” But he couldn’t even hear his own voice.
He could just about see someone at the exit of the tunnel. Just about see them standing there, looking through the flames, staring down at him.
He didn’t have to see their faces to know who it was.
He saw some scaffolding to his right falling.
Saw it creaking down, tumbling to the ground, smashing all over…
Shit.
Miriam and Amy were under it.
Miriam and Amy were fucking under it.
He stood there and watched the flames build, listened to the foundations of the tunnel creak, smelled the stench of impending death in the air.
They’d blown the tunnel up.
Gary’s people had blown the tunnel up.
And it was caving in.
Fast.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Hayden threw himself at Miriam and Amy as they lay underneath the fallen rubble.
The air was thick with dust and smoke. It was so intense that Hayden could hardly breathe. His ears still rang away, like someone was constantly firing pistols by the sides of his head, no respite in sight. His mouth was filled with the taste of blood.
But as the tunnel collapsed around him, he knew there was only one thing that really mattered more than anything else.
Miriam and Amy’s safety.
“Miriam!” He reached the side of the rubble that’d fallen down onto the pair of them. He had images of seeing sharp shards of metal sticking into their flesh. Of looking into their eyes as they blubbered their final words, blood oozing from their lips. The sheer thought made him sick with fear, sick with rage.
Gary had done this. Gary and his people had done this.
They were trying to tear everything he cared about apart.
He reached down by the side of Miriam. Grabbed the scaffolding. He couldn’t stop coughing as the smoke from the fire gathered at the back of his mouth. He knew he’d pass out soon through smoke poisoning. And if he did or didn’t, the fire that was building around the mouth of the tunnel would spread to his position, eat him up.
He didn’t care.
He just had to save Miriam and Amy.
He just had to do everything he could to get them out of here.
He pulled the scaffolding up. Pulled it with all his weight, with every bit of force in his body. He felt his hands cracking. Felt blood pooling down them as the cold metal dug into his skin.
But still he kept on lifting.
Kept on dragging that metal up with every last resource inside him.
“Hay—Hayden.”
When he heard Miriam’s voice, he almost dropped the damned scaffolding.
He looked down. Saw her eyes were open. Not only that, but Amy’s eyes were open too.
They were alive. They were both alive.
He was getting them out of here.
“Quick,” he said, straining to hold the scaffolding up. “You’re—you’re gonna have to crawl from under there.”
“My head hurts,” Amy said. Her bottom lip was shaking. But there were no tears in her eyes. Blood on her forehead, too, and a bout of concussion no doubt. But no tears in her eyes.
She was strong. She was a fighter.
She was going to get through this.
“What—what happened?” Miriam asked, as she helped Amy out from under the scaffolding.
Hayden let it drop from his hands. He faced the tunnel exit. It was covered in debris and flames. “Gary,” he said.
“What?”
“Gary. Gary’s people. They did this.”
“Fuck,” Miriam said. “They’re—they’re fucking psychopaths.”
Hayden took in a deep breath. “No. They just want what we want.”
“What?”
“They just want what we want.”
“How can you possibly say they just want—”
“They just want to keep each other safe. That’s what matters to them. Just like it matters to us.”
Miriam was silent. She didn’t reply to Hayden. Just stood beside him, watching as the exit from the tunnel—the last safe exit from New Britain—fell apart.
“We have to go back,” Hayden said.
He turned. Looked both Miriam and Amy in their eyes. It was still dark in here, so he could only just make out the disappointment glowing in the oncoming fire lights.
“I know it’s not ideal,” Hayden said. “I know we wanted to get out of this place. But there’s no leaving. Not right now.”
For the first time in saying these words, Hayden felt a genuine disappointment at not being able to leave New Britain. He never used to. A part of him used to feel relieved that he could stay here, right in his perfect little bubble, as Miriam called it. That he could lock himself away again and forget about the horrors of the outside world.
But not anymore.
Now, Hayden felt frustration at having to return to this place. He felt disappointment. Pain.
Because he knew he wasn’t going back to a safe place anymore.
He was going back to somewhere even more dangerous than the outside.
“It’s all we have,” Hayden added, as he started to jog back in the direction of New Britain. “I wish… I wish it wasn’t, but it’s all we have. Now come on. We need to get back before this place falls completely.”
Miriam stood still for a few moments. Stood still, just staring at Hayden, as if she was trying to weigh up his motivations, get a read on him.
Then she nodded.
Tightened her grip around Amy’s hand.
Together, the three of them ran back towards New Britain. Back into the abyss.
As they ran, a strange feeling welled up inside Hayden. An unfamiliar feeling, certainly one he wasn’t used to.
He felt a sense of pride.
Pride, because he knew that even though they were heading back to New Britain, they were doing the uncomfortable thing. The thing he really didn’t want to do. It would’ve been more like him to stay in this tunnel and hide—to just hope it didn’t collapse on him, on all of them.
But instead, he was running back.
He was going back to somewhere that wasn’t safe. Somewhere dangerous.
And he didn’t know what the future held for him. For any of them.
Only one thing was for sure.
He’d die fighting for his people.
He’d die making sure they got to safety.
He’d—
“Hayden!”
He heard Miriam’s shout and he didn’t understand it at first.
Not until he felt the sharp pain crack into his head.
Tasted blood in his mouth.
He saw the rock fall to his right. His sense of balance distorted. And as it did, Hayden’s eyes flashed. Memories filled his mind. Memories of being in that deep, black coma-like state after shooting the infection into his veins.
Memories of all the people who had been immunised, who were now infected, hungry.
Memories of the look in Martha’s eyes when he’d been about to put her down.
The words she’d said.
“You’re going to get everyone killed.”
“Hayden!”
He felt himself falling.
Felt himself hit the ground beside him.
More images flashed into his mind.
Clarice.
Clarice with the blade to her neck.
Blood spurting out of her jugular as Ally sliced her head from her shoulders.
He felt the pain of having to smother his mum. Of having to put down his zombified dad.
He felt it all building up, right back to that moment he’d found Annabelle hanging all those years ago.
“You’re going to get everyone killed.”
He heard Martha’s voice. And then he saw her. Saw her walking towards him, guts dangling from her torso, blood oozing down her mouth.
He felt hunger build inside.
An urge.
An urge to bite.
An urge to feast.
An urge to—
He felt a crack on his face.
He blinked. And suddenly, he wasn’t surrounded by darkness anymore.
He was outside. The late afternoon sky still glowed a little sun. The air was cool, but it was fresh. The smell of smoke that had lingered in the air just moments ago was gone.
“He’s awake,” Miriam said. “Thank God.”
Hayden rubbed the back of his neck. It ached like mad.
“You keep yourself still,” Miriam said. “It’s okay. We’ve got you. We’ve got you.”
Hayden opened his mouth to say something to Miriam. To thank her. Or to tell her he loved her. Something along those lines.
But then the ache in the back of his neck spread to his head.
His vision blurred.
Then blackened.
Darkness surrounded him.
Chapter Thirty
Hayden knew where he was, but he couldn’t place it.
He knew he’d been here before. He’d been sitting on the grass like this. The grass was warm. Slightly damp, but warm. The sun above was strong, and he could feel its heat spreading through his skin, all over his body. He was wearing swimming trunks. They had Batman on them. They too were slightly damp from the swimming pool he must’ve been in not long ago.
He could smell the chlorine in the air. He always liked that smell. Always took him back to those summer days as a child. But as he looked down at his legs, at his body, he realised he was a child. He was that child he’d longed to be so many times. Before she died. Before Annabelle…
He turned to his left and he saw her sitting there.
She was beautiful. He’d always found her beautiful even though she was his sister. Not in a weird way. Just in a way that made him feel proud that she was his big sister. The boys in his year always used to stare at her, too. Always used to whisper behind her back, love in their eyes. And that made Hayden feel good, in a way. Because he knew that with a sister that beautiful, no one would ever hurt him.
“You’re scared of the water aren’t you, short-arse?”
Hayden heard Annabelle’s voice. It was soft. Dreamlike. She smiled at him. Smiled, her curly blonde hair waving in the breeze. Her chestnut eyes were warm—so warm that he could feel them crackling through his skin as she looked at him. Somewhere in the distance, Hayden could hear laughter. The laughter of kids playing. Enjoying themselves. Splashing about in the pool.
“Shut it,” Hayden said. He felt the words leaving his lips, but they left as if he’d spoken them before. As if they were replaying from a memory a long time ago.
“It’s true, though,” Annabelle said. She moved closer, and her voice grew more real. “I’ve seen what you’re like. Only staying in the shallow end.”
“I like the shallow end.”
“I can see that. But there’s nothing to be scared of. You’ve got your rubber ring. You’ve got your armbands. There’s no monsters down in the deep water. So what’s scaring you?”
Hayden looked back at the pool. He saw the children playing, laughing. They were okay with him. Not his best friends, but they were okay. He looked at that deeper end where they were all splashing about, nothing underneath them for support, and he felt his stomach turn like it did when he ate something funny at Nan’s that time.
“I just don’t like having nothing under my feet,” Hayden said. “Nothing to fall on.”
“Wow,” Annabelle. “For a little kid, that’s pretty deep.”
Hayden knew it was deep, too. He wasn’t sure if he’d said those exact words back in this conversation all those years ago, but he knew it must’ve been something along those lines.
“You know, I lied,” Annabelle said.
“About what?”
“When I told you there were no monsters. There are monsters. Real nasty monsters.”
She turned to Hayden, fire in her eyes. Hayden started to feel a bit excited. He always liked it when Annabelle told him stories. She told them way better than Mum and Dad. Not that Mum and Dad didn’t tell good stories—they just were never as exciting as Annabelle’s. Sometimes Annabelle told stories that scared him. That made the hairs on the back of his neck stand—
Swinging from a rope—
Eyes popping out of her eye sockets—
Green vomit drooling down her perfect face—
Sometimes he told the other kids those stories too. But not all of them. Because he felt like some of those stories were his. That they were just for his ears.
But Annabelle didn’t tell him another scary story. Not this time.
Instead, she leaned close and said, “The worst monsters of all are the ones inside your head.”
He heard those words, dreamlike and shaky, and he felt himself drifting to another place. The smell of the chlorine was slipping away. The sounds of the kids playing were disappearing. He felt like this entire word was collapsing around him.
He remembered what he’d asked Annabelle back then on that summer’s day, as the brightness of the sun turned to thick darkness. He’d asked her what she’d meant. And he remembered exactly what she’d told him.
“One day, you’ll understand.”
He understood now. He knew exactly what his sister meant now.
He saw her soft, shaky hair flowing in the breeze.
Her chestnut eyes.
That smile, so radiant and strong, with the little gap between her teeth.
He saw it, and he wanted to stay with Annabelle forever. He wanted to stay right by her side.
But he knew he wouldn’t. Because Annabelle was gone. She was going away from his dreams, just like she always did.
When Hayden opened his eyes, it wasn’t a sudden thing. He didn’t take a sharp breath of air, or gasp, or sit bolt upright, or anything like that.
He just opened his eyes and calmly looked around.
Miriam was by his side. She wasn’t facing him.
Amy, however, was.
Hayden saw her eyes widen. Saw a little grin spread across her face. “He’s—he’s awake.”
Miriam turned around. And Hayden saw the relief in her eyes, too.
“Jesus Christ,” she said, rubbing her hands against his chest. She looked like she didn’t know what to do with herself. “Jesus Christ, Hayden. We thought we’d lost you. We thought we’d frigging lost you.”
Hayden cleared his throat and smiled. He looked around. He was still in the same spot he’d drifted away not long ago. It was a little darker now, a little cooler. He could hear voices somewhere in the distance, inside New Britain. Every now and then, the rattle of gunfire.
“Are you okay?” Miriam asked. “You look…”
Hayden went to speak.
And then he felt something.
Felt something strange in his blood-tasting mouth as he stood, his head still spinning.
He spat it out of his mouth. Spat the thing he’d felt onto his palm.
As he looked at it, he felt his stomach turn.
Half a tooth rested in the palm of his hand. Half a tooth, cracked away.
Hayden started to shake. He suddenly realised how weak he felt. How feverish he felt. And what it meant. He knew what the feverish feeling meant. And the cracked
tooth—sure, that could just be from the tunnel escape. But it could also be for another reason, too.
“What is it?”
Hayden closed his palm. He forced a smile, as sick and rotten as he felt. “Nothing. We… we should—”
“I know what it was,” Miriam said.
Hayden stopped. He didn’t want to have this conversation with Miriam. He just wanted to get to shelter. Lay low somewhere and figure out their next step. “We need to move.”
“Hayden, I have to be honest with you. I have to be frank with you.”
She didn’t finish speaking. She waited for Hayden to turn around and look at her before she continued.
He saw a new look in her eyes. A look of pity. And a look of fear, too.
“Miriam, I—”
“You look like you’re turning,” she said. “Into one of them.”
Miriam might’ve been right. She might’ve been wrong.
But nothing compared to their next discovery.
Chapter Thirty-One
They reached the radio room by nightfall.
It was pitch black outside and in. The blackness outside was more prominent than ever due to the sheer lack of life left inside New Britain. It was always such a light place. Kind of like a Butlins holiday park, only without the shittiness. A place that never slept.
Except now, it wasn’t just sleeping. It was in critical care. Spluttering away on life support.
The darkness of the radio room came down to the fact that Hayden couldn’t bring himself to turn any lights on. None of them could. It was too dangerous, and it would draw attention to their position.
They had to just lay low. Just keep it quiet and keep it low key.
They couldn’t risk anything. Not after how far they’d come. How hard they’d fought.
Hayden saw Miriam looking at him from the other side of the room. It was dark, sure, but he just knew she was looking at him. It was the middle of the night and the pair of them—well, all of them—were supposed to be sleeping. But how could any of them get any sleep at all?
Better to just stay awake. To just keep guard, keep aware.
There was no telling what might be waiting to hunt them down just feet away.
Every now and then, Hayden heard gunfire crackle around New Britain. He heard voices. Heard dull footsteps and groans. He knew they were pinned down in here. He accepted it.
