by Leah Silver
Table of Contents
Levi
Death is a predatory asshole
Possession is two-thirds of the chaos
That time I stabbed a junior dick weasel
Twatwaffles are delicious with a side of epiphany
Ed
Shockingly, the other side of the veil isn’t very homey
Don’t put snake charmer on my resume
Scum-sucking gutter slut, and other terms of endearment
Fanning the flames of hope
Ike
That damned white rabbit and his trap doors
I’m not a mailman, so don’t make me go postal on your ass
The Jolly Green Giant is a cunt cake, and so are his sprouts
Saved by the white rabbit
Oscar
Rock, meet hard place
Those pink elephants are a bitch
Merry
Out of the frying pan, into the fire
Where are Sebastian and Flounder when you need them?
There’s a reason why you don’t open Pandora’s box
Whatever you do, don’t disturb the demon
The Mother knows, I ain’t no Sally Sunshine
About the Author
Also by Leah Silver
Break of Magic
The Demon Hunter Trilogy: Book 2
Leah Silver
Copyright © 2018 by Leah Silver
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
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Contents
1. Levi
2. Death is a predatory asshole
3. Possession is two-thirds of the chaos
4. That time I stabbed a junior dick weasel
5. Twatwaffles are delicious with a side of epiphany
6. Ed
7. Shockingly, the other side of the veil isn’t very homey
8. Don’t put snake charmer on my resume
9. Scum-sucking gutter slut, and other terms of endearment
10. Fanning the flames of hope
11. Ike
12. That damned white rabbit and his trap doors
13. I’m not a mailman, so don’t make me go postal on your ass
14. The Jolly Green Giant is a cunt cake, and so are his sprouts
15. Saved by the white rabbit
16. Oscar
17. Rock, meet hard place
18. Those pink elephants are a bitch
19. Merry
20. Out of the frying pan, into the fire
21. Where are Sebastian and Flounder when you need them?
22. There’s a reason why you don’t open Pandora’s box
23. Whatever you do, don’t disturb the demon
24. The Mother knows, I ain’t no Sally Sunshine
About the Author
Also by Leah Silver
Levi
Knock, knock, knockin’ on death’s door
The smell of death hung heavily in the air.
“This way, Dr. Pietz.” The doctor led us down a sterile hall to what looked like an industrial elevator. The further Sara and I got, the fewer people were bustling around. Before every doorway, the doctor waved his badge in front of a black scanner on the wall, and I could hear locks clunking to life.
“They’ll get you badges today,” he assured me. He seemed uneasy as he handed Sara and me masks, which was odd for a human in my presence.
“My security clearance is the least of my concerns, Doctor. And please, call me Levi,” I said, making sure to lay the sincerity on thick to set his mind at ease.
He glanced over his shoulder at me when we arrived at the elevator. “Can you help me with this?” he asked, and I assisted him in shoving the lift gate up.
Once we were inside, he became even more agitated. Some humans had a bit of a sixth sense about supernaturals. Maybe that was his problem. At any rate, he needed to calm down, so I let my charms go to work.
It was difficult to describe how it felt when I was charming someone. I wouldn’t lie; it was fun to have that level of control. Sara shifted slightly, as if she could feel what I was doing. Merry always said she could—that it gave her goose bumps. I smiled at the thought of her before speaking to the nervous doctor. “How long have you worked here?”
He glanced over at me, shifting his weight a bit less than he had been a few moments ago. It was working. Humans were so easy. “Too long,” he said with a snort. The elevator clunked to a halt on the very bottom floor.
“Isn’t the morgue down here?” I asked.
“Yes. It’s no coincidence these patients were sequestered down here.” He struggled with the gate until I went to his aid, pushing the rusty metal thing up easily. Vampires were considerably stronger than humans, after all. “I have to tell you, I’ve been a physician for over thirty years, fifteen of them spent right here in New Orleans. I’ve seen some weird things, but nothing like this before. Ever.”
His hand shook when he punched in a code outside the door, then waved his badge in front of the scanner. I put a hand on his shoulder, and he about leapt out of his skin. “Hey, it’s all right. I’m here to help.”
“Thing is, Doc, I’m not sure you can.”
As the doors opened with a whoosh, they brought death right to our faces. Sara covered her mouth immediately.
“Holy mother of Bael,” she said.
I hid my grin at her curse. She was very young and still learning. But I was sure if she hung around me long enough she’d learn quickly. “I’m pretty sure Bael doesn’t have a mother,” I said, bringing the surgical mask to my face. The doctor remained noticeably behind.
“I’ll…uh…leave you to it. Just one thing—you’ll have to pass through quarantine before you can go topside again. This door doesn’t open from the inside. Quarantine is on the other side of that door on the end.” He didn’t wait for me to respond before retreating the way we came.
Of course the humans would be afraid of the disease spreading, but I was reasonably sure this plague wouldn’t affect them in the least. If anyone was going to get sick, it would be me. And I had every intention of staying healthy. I had a sweet ass waiting for me when this was over.
The room was lined with beds on both sides, as well as a row down the center. It reminded me of a military sick bay. All told, there were nearly thirty bodies covered in those telltale black splotches.
It didn’t smell of rotting flesh. No, that wasn’t what happened to vampires. It smelled of rotting souls, and the odor triggered every flight response I possessed. As a pathologist, it was an odd response. But as a vampire facing the mortality of my own race, I supposed it made perfect sense.
As the doors whooshed shut behind the human doctor, I turned to Sara, whose eyes were watering from the stench. “Well, let’s get to work.”
Sara had been infected and saved by the same man. Devlin. Merry had killed him after he told us where the serum to save Sara was buried. But there had only been one vial. Not enough to study or use to create a duplicate. But Sara would be the key. I had no doubt.
Unfortunately, my key looked like she was getting woozy. I ushered her to a room off the sick bay. “Let’s go in here. We can set up our lab away from the infected. Hopefully, it will be away from the smell, too.”
“I feel like I’ll never unsmell that.” She kept a hand over her face, even when the door was shut tight behind us.
“No, probably not.” I’d seen a lot of death in my centuries on this earth, but nothing like that before. It was a lot for anyone in the medical field. I couldn’t imagine how bad it
was for a teenage vampire.
Quickly, she sat down in a hard chair along the back wall as far from the sick bay as she could get. I began to wonder if her coming with me had been a good idea.
“What do you think my mom is doing?” she asked, looking at me with those green eyes. Eyes that looked a lot like her mother’s. Eyes that made me miss that woman in a way I’d never experienced before.
“Knowing her, she’s slaying demons. She’ll have saved the world and be back in time for dinner.” That made her smile. Win.
I walked around the room, exploring the cabinets, shelves, and counters. It was very well equipped with microscopes, medicines, fluids, two small refrigerators, several computers, sinks, and various other medical supplies. “Yes, I think this will do quite well,” I said more to myself than Sara.
“Do you think she’ll be okay?” Sara’s voice was smaller than it had been a moment ago, and I knew I was going to have to tune into her a little more.
Instinctually, I let some of my charm roll off my arms in her direction to soothe her, but much like her mother, it had the opposite effect. “Don’t use your charms on me because you’re too lazy to have an actual conversation,” she snapped.
I straightened and really studied at her. Yes, she was several centuries old, but she’d been turned as a teenager, forever trapped in that mind and body. Fear radiated off her, making my skin itch. Rubbing at my arms, I crossed the room. I leaned on an island across from her.
“I think she’ll be fine, Sara. I really do. More than fine, in fact. Your mother was made for this. I know she doesn’t thinks she was. She feels out of place and out of her element, but don’t let her self-doubt creep into your mind. She’s a superstar. And she will save us all.” I felt the truth in my words. After all, if she failed, all vampires would die. That wasn’t an option I was willing to entertain. She would succeed, and I would get another round in bed with her when this was over.
“And we’re gonna help her.” I held up a syringe.
Sara swallowed, knowing what was coming next.
Okay, so maybe my timing was a bit off. I was always chastising Ed for his poor timing, but this time, I put my foot in it. Sara lay on the floor…after awkwardly sliding off her chair when she passed out. I’d been trying to get a blood sample, but she was fairly uncooperative, which wasn’t like her. Before I could set the syringe down and help, her eyes rolled back and boom. She was out.
I crouched and pushed her brown locks away from her face when she came to. “Well, that was rather unflattering.”
She glared, and I flashed a charming smile. But just like her mother, it only fueled her fire. “Some knight in shining armor you are.”
I helped her sit up, and she leaned against the counters next to the chair she’d once been occupying. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
Her eyes were wild with fear as she worked to compose herself. I sighed, working hard to rein in my patience. The people on the other side of those doors would die in a matter of hours if we didn’t get moving. I didn’t have time for a teenage crisis. And yet, there I sat. Face to face with it.
“No. I don’t want to do this at all. I want to go home. With my mom. I don’t want to be at death’s doorstep, courting him with every move we make. And I certainly don’t want my mother to be fighting some super race to save supernatural creatures.” A tear escaped her, and she swiped angrily at it.
I sat next to her, leaning against the same cabinet, the knobs digging into my back. Even when I shifted, I couldn’t seem to get away from them. She was a lot smaller, and she fit perfectly into the space. I eyed the chair longingly, but figured I’d better stay put.
“Listen, no one wants to be doing this. Well, except maybe me. But even I’m not excited about the circumstances these opportunities came with.”
“Opportunities? What do you mean? You’re enjoying this?” she demanded.
“I’m presented with the chance to save our race. It’s something I’ve built my whole life around. Every decision I’ve made in the past few centuries has led me to this point in time, with you. Of course I’m excited. Because I’m certain we’ll succeed.”
“What if we don’t? What if you get sick? Or Mom is killed? Or any number of things worse than that? It’s not like this road we’re walking is straight and narrow.”
I had to get her spiral under control, but I wasn’t entirely sure how to do that without my charms. With Merry, it came more naturally. As similar as the two were, they certainly weren’t the same person.
“Sara, you were so eager to come and help. What’s going on?”
“I just…”
It was painful to let her finish her thought. I was tempted to prompt her. Fill in the empty space. Something. I restrained myself, though. In doing so, I had time to smooth out my black button-down shirt before she finally spoke.
“I’ve never seen death like that.” Her eyes went to the double doors that held the sick bay.
“Your mother didn’t handle it well, either. When she saw it on you, I mean, if that makes you feel any better.” It wasn’t entirely untrue. Merry had gone crazy trying to save her daughter, but it hadn’t been because of her appearance. She’d been afraid Sara would die, and she’d have to live an eternity without her.
“All of those people out there have family, covens, friends, people who care. Someone who will be left behind, just like my mom would have been if you all hadn’t saved me.” Her voice was sad and distant.
“Which is why we have to hurry up and save them.”
Ed hadn’t had the time or resources to put that many patients in suspension, not as he had with Sara. We had less than twenty-four hours to make some progress before we’d have to wait for a new batch of sickies to come across our desks. And who knew what part of the world they would be in. We had to nip this in the bud. Quickly.
Slowly, Sara climbed into the chair, her face hardened and resolved.
“That’s my girl,” I said when she held out her arm, pointedly staring away from me. “I promise I’m quite good at this. I won’t hurt you.”
She snorted. “There you go with the charms again. Or was that just arrogance?”
I didn’t even try to hide my smile. “Zingers just like your mother.” Carefully, I guided the needle into her arm and retracted her blood. What flowed into the vial almost made me jerk my hand away.
I must’ve gasped because Sara turned to me, jostling the needle a bit. “What?” she demanded.
“I just…” I was having trouble forming words. Her blood was…like nothing I’d ever seen. “Sara, have you ever had your blood taken before?”
“No. Why would I need to? It’s not like vampires routinely need medical care.”
When the vial was full, I popped it off and replaced it with another. I took seven vials from her before I was satisfied. I didn’t want her to be too rundown, particularly since I needed her help.
Taking a single vial out of the rack, I held it up to the light. It shined back at me, too light to be called a true silver, but the resemblance still made me want to recoil a bit.
She watched me carefully, but I wasn’t sure what to say to her. I got a fresh needle and inserted it into my own arm, drawing out a single vial of blood.
I held the two next to each other, and the contrast was striking. She gasped when I showed them to her.
“Why are they so different?” she asked.
My blood was black as the night vampires were created. Hers, on the other hand, was almost beautiful, certainly pulsing with magic. It shimmered in the light, inexplicably unusual.
“I’m not sure, to be honest.”
“What’s this? Something you don’t have an answer for?”
I glanced at her to see her smiling at me, teasing. But I couldn’t bring myself to do much more than choke out a heartless chuckle. What had happened? Had the disease done this to her? Or was she like this before? The simplest explanation had me leaning toward the plague, but the scientist in
me knew not to eliminate anything without solid evidence.
There was one way to find out. “Excuse me a moment,” I said before rushing into the sick bay. A bed near the door caught my attention. Where the sick patient had been when we’d gone into our workspace, there was now only a pile of ash.
“Brilliant,” I muttered, walking to the next closest bed. It was a man, one who was very far gone. His skin was completely covered in blackness. He called for death with his very existence.
Tears silently fell from the corners of his eyes. I had a tough time making out his irises among the poison. Slowly, he turned to me when I went to draw blood.
“You can’t stop this.” His voice was thick and heavy, as if the hand of death was strangling him as he spoke.
“Oh, ye of little faith,” I said while trying to get the needle in his arm. But the needle broke off in my struggle, and I looked at him. He smiled, his teeth black, and choked out a laugh, getting dark spittle on his white hospital gown before he turned to ash in my hand.
I sighed heavily. “Well, that was an inconvenience.” I moved to the next bed. This man wasn’t so far gone. His eyes were untouched by the plague, and some of his pale skin still showed through the blackness.
“He’s right, you know. You can’t stop this. They’re coming for you.”
I pulled out a fresh syringe, and then poked the needle into a clean patch in his arm. It resisted some, but certainly didn’t come close to breaking the needle as the last patient had. “Who are they?” I asked, completely disinterested in his answer.
Conveniently, he clammed up. I chalked his information—if it could even be called that—up to delirium from the disease. Carefully, I filled the vial. It came out completely different from mine and Sara’s. Well, that wasn’t true. It wasn’t that dissimilar from my own blood, at least in color. But it was…thicker. Like sludge. As if the disease was stopping it in its tracks.
