Love and Let Die mam-5

by Lexi Blake

  He trusted his team—Alex and Eve and Li and Jake, and even that fucker Adam. He trusted Grace and Serena and Avery because they loved his brothers, but that was the extent of it. He hadn’t known Simon long enough, and he trusted Jesse as far as he could throw the little fucker.

  Charlie was proof positive that he couldn’t trust anyone outside his circle.

  “Come on, man. I’ve never seen you the way you were last night.”

  He sent his brother a questioning look. “Did I behave in some way I shouldn’t have?”

  Sean ran a frustrated hand through his hair and sat back. “No. You sat. You drank. You yelled at me when I tried to turn off the music. You were utterly stoic and refused to talk about anything except your pizza. Which I’m honestly surprised you managed to keep down. I had to make that crust from scratch, you know. If you’re going to force me to cook in the middle of the night, let’s talk about stocking your kitchen. I had to call Alex in with supplies. How do you survive on Fruity Pebbles and days-old Chinese food?”

  He ate at the office more often than not. Grace smuggled whatever Sean had cooked the night before into the fridge at the office and everyone knew that if they took that food, Ian would murder them.

  God, his life had become a pathetic circle of sleeping, eating at his desk, and forcing himself to work out. He’d been sleepwalking through life for years because of that woman. It had to stop. If her showing up on his doorstep had taught him one thing, it was that it was time to let her go.

  “I need to take a sub. That’s my problem. I need someone to take care of the everyday shit and then I’ll be okay. I’ll tell Ryan I’m taking applications.” That would do it. He’d been a pussy about his own needs for years. He needed a full-time submissive who would take care of the house, deal with the inanities of life, make sure he was fed, and see to his sexual needs. In exchange, he would offer financial support and his own unique brand of discipline.

  Yes, that was what he should do. Maybe he would take two subs. He had a lot of needs.

  Sean’s eyes had gone wide again. “I think that would be a mistake.”

  “I would think you would be thrilled. I rely on Grace far too much.”

  Sean sighed a little, the same way he would when he was younger and admitting something he’d done wrong. “Grace loves you. She doesn’t mind. And I make extra. I know you think she’s risking my wrath, but I’ve always known she was feeding you. As mad as I’ve been at you, you’ve always been my brother. I won’t let you starve. God knows you didn’t let me.”

  Their shared childhood sat between them. Their father had left them high and dry, and their mother had needed someone to tell her what to do. Ian had been forced to take over. He’d had to get a job and bring in money while he finished high school and made sure Sean had what he needed. There had been plenty of times during those years when there wasn’t enough food, and Ian had made sure Sean went to bed full to the detriment of his own stomach. He’d had to do it. Sean was younger. Sean had needed him. He’d known that from the moment Sean had been born. “That doesn’t matter now.”

  “You have no idea how that attitude bugs me, but I’ll let it go. I’m glad you let Grace help. Kris won’t take Grace’s head off. I worry about what she’ll do if you start auditioning subs. You have a wife. They tend to get pissy about other women taking their place.”

  “She’s not my wife.” He’d forgotten briefly that Sean had already met Charlie. They had worked together in Florida. “And her name isn’t Kris.”

  Sean’s blue eyes rolled. “I know. Sorry. Charlotte. I wish everyone would just stick to one name. I’ve been out of the game too long to remember everyone’s fake names. My sous chef is named Hans. I don’t know his last name. I don’t need to. It’s just Hans. One name per person, please.”

  His head was pounding. Hangovers sucked ass. “Good for you and Hans. I hope you’ll be very happy together.”

  “Yeah, well, the point is you won’t be happy when Charlotte starts beheading the subs at Sanctum. She seems like a nice woman, but there’s a crazy bitch in there, too.”

  He’d seen the crazy bitch in her from the first moment. It had been right there in those crystal blue eyes. Yeah, that was kind of why he’d loved her. Wanted her. Wanted to fuck her. That was all. “She’ll be gone soon.”

  Once she realized he wouldn’t give her what she wanted, she would move on and he could forget her again.

  Except he’d never managed to forget her in the first place.

  “Does she know that? Because I don’t think she got the memo,” Sean said. “Look, why don’t you tell me the story from the beginning? Where did you meet her?”

  He had no intention of rehashing old history. Something was wrong. It played around in his mind. He was missing something important. “She was at a club. I fucked her. She wouldn’t go away. Then she died. Story over.”

  “God, you’re obnoxious. You married the woman. There has to be more.”

  What the hell was he missing? “I’m not joining your pussy-whipped men’s therapy group, Sean.”

  Sean shot him the finger. “It’s called a poker club, asshole, and we wouldn’t have you.”

  The bacon. That was the problem. He got still, forcing himself to really listen. Someone was cooking, and it sure as hell wasn’t Sean. “Did you bring Hans with you?”

  Sean waved that idea off. “Nah, that’s Alex.”

  Motherfucker. He rose to his feet, his head only threatening to crack wide open. A man couldn’t simply drink himself to death quietly around here. No. His friends had to show up to watch the show. “He’s supposed to be on his honeymoon.”

  Alex’s big body was suddenly in the doorway. “Eve and I canceled. This is so much more important.”

  God, Alex was going to kill him. He really was going to vomit. “I don’t need anyone to hold my fucking hand.”

  “Oh, no. You misunderstand. I wasn’t talking about being here for you emotionally. I know you would never let me do that. I was talking about how much fun it’s going to be to watch you deal with Kris…Charlotte. Eve and I agreed watching this shit go down is going to be way better than Hawaii.”

  Now he sent his best friend his happy middle finger. “Fuck you, Alex.”

  “Come on, man. You were always there for me. You have woman troubles. You can lean on me.”

  “You make it sound like I’m menstruating, Alex.”

  Sean nodded. “That would explain the mood swings, and so very much of my childhood.”

  He sent his brother a look that should have had him running. “I don’t have mood swings. I just hate everything. See, that’s what they mean by even tempered.”

  Alex just chuckled. “I think Eve would disagree, but it’s good to see last night didn’t change you. I worried your beloved would come back from the dead and you would be a changed man, all hearts and flowers.”

  “She’s lucky I didn’t kill her.” He hadn’t really even thought about it. He’d had a gun in his hand. He’d had someone who betrayed him in his sights, but no, he’d just convinced her to give him a blow job and insulted her and sent her away. Maybe Alex was right. He was totally going soft. If he didn’t watch out he would be at Sean’s Thursday night “poker” club which was really just an excuse to drink imported girlie beer and discuss their feelings. They played poker so they could nominally call themselves men.

  He should have shot her. Then he could be in a nice comfy jail cell far away from his meddling friends.

  Alex frowned a little. “I was actually surprised she wasn’t still here. I thought you wanted to question her. I came over to make sure she wasn’t tied up somewhere.”

  But if he’d tied her up, he wouldn’t have been able to leave her alone. He would have spanked that juicy ass of hers and it wouldn’t have been long before he shoved his cock up her tiny asshole.

  God, he’d never fucked her ass. He’d been training her for it when she’d “died.” That’s what he should have gotten out of her. H
e should have gotten some nasty anal sex.

  “I don’t care what she has to say.” He wasn’t going to talk about what was going through his head. Alex didn’t need to know he still had a perverse obsession with his ex’s ass.

  “Ian, she’s smart,” Alex pointed out. “If she says she has a line on Nelson, we should check it out.”

  “She was working for Nelson, so we can’t believe her. She’s also a criminal.”

  “I don’t think she does that anymore. You didn’t see her in Florida.” Alex leaned against the doorjamb. “I think she’s been trying to redeem herself. For you.”

  Getting remarried had made mush of his best friend’s brain. “She’s a liar. She fucked me for money and information, and that’s why she’s here now.”

  Sean whistled. “Tell me you didn’t call her a whore.”

  Ian shrugged. He tried not to lie to his brother.

  “Fuck,” Sean cursed and reached into his pocket, pulling out what looked like a stack of twenties.

  Alex took it with a shake of his head. “I told you.” He turned to Ian. “We had a bet on how you got the shiner.”

  “Fuck you both. Get out of my house.” He stalked toward the bathroom. He needed a shower. He needed to get back on an even keel. Whatever Charlie was trying to do by contacting his brother, it didn’t matter because it wouldn’t fucking work.

  “Don’t feel bad. It’s how he says I love you,” Sean explained to Alex.

  Alex laughed, shaking his head. “Breakfast is ready when you can stomach it, brother.”

  He slammed the door. Those two wouldn’t go away. He might be able to scare Adam into leaving. Jake would follow orders. Simon didn’t care enough to fuck with him, but Sean and Alex wouldn’t believe him even if he threatened to shoot them both.

  Maybe he needed to rethink the whole “inner circle of trust” thing. It was kind of biting him in the ass now. He should be able to wallow in his misery, but no, he had to deal with this crap.

  He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Damn, he looked like shit. He reached up and touched his left eye. It wasn’t horrible, but it had bruised. Charlie knew how to throw a punch.

  He didn’t like to think about how many she’d taken. There it was again, that gnawing guilt that he wasn’t going to give into.

  He turned on the shower, not bothering to let the water heat up. He didn’t fucking need any heat. Ice. He needed to remind himself that he had ice in his veins. He shrugged out of his slacks. He’d apparently passed out still wearing them.

  What the fuck had that woman done to him? He’d lost control. He never lost control. He’d gotten drunk and blacked out. Even during all the years of mourning her loss, he always remembered every moment. Once a year, on the day she died, he would listen to that fucking song and drink Scotch and remind himself why he wouldn’t let another woman in. Not once had he passed out and forgotten the majority of the evening. It was dangerous. It was stupid.

  She was going to kill him in the end.

  He stepped into the shower, his head still pounding. The cold blasted his system, but he welcomed it. At the very least, it shriveled up his cock some. The damn thing hadn’t gone down since the moment she’d walked in.

  Despite the ache in his head and his rolling gut, the minute he’d thought of Charlie, his cock had gotten hard as a rock.

  It didn’t matter because she was gone, and he wouldn’t let her in again. If she showed up, he would call the cops. That little criminal mastermind wouldn’t want to see the police. Despite what Alex said, he knew damn well she was still working some sort of con. It was just who she was.

  And he was a professional with a job to do. He couldn’t let Charlie get in his way.

  “Coffee?” Alex held out a mug. “Holy shit. Is that cold water?”

  No one left him alone. Not even when he was naked. He took the coffee, downing about half the mug before handing it back. “Yeah. It’s the only way to wake up. I’ll take that breakfast to go. You’re going to be sorry you missed your honeymoon because all that’s going to happen today is another meeting. Call and make sure everyone’s at the office. I have some intelligence to check out about Eli Nelson.”

  “Oh, everyone’s at the office already. They’re in the meeting.”

  Ian stared at his friend. “What meeting? I didn’t call a meeting, and you were supposed to be on a plane. Has Adam decided to start a coup, because let me tell you, I’m in the mood to put someone on their ass.”

  “Uhm, your wife called a meeting. Seems she thinks she owns half of McKay-Taggart and she said since the boss was sleeping one off, she would take over for the day.”

  The cold water could no longer touch him. “She wouldn’t fucking dare.”

  “Oh, she dares. See, totally worth missing out on vacation,” Alex said with a grin.

  Ian turned off the water. He wouldn’t bother getting clean. It was going to be a bloody kind of day.

  * * * *

  “Give me one good reason why I’m sitting here.” Simon Weston’s clipped British accent cut through the quiet of the conference room.

  “Because I’m your boss and I told you to be here.” The best way to get through a rough sea was to plow straight ahead. Charlie had gotten through many a tough situation because she just acted like she owned the place.

  She wondered if her asshole Master’s head was aching. He’d been downing Scotch like it was going out of style the night before. She knew he kind of deserved it with all the name calling and such, but she couldn’t help but wish she was there to take care of him. Sean better have done his job and taken care of his brother. They were family. It was what family did.

  Or at least that was what Ian had taught her. Family didn’t give up. Family kept going even when one of them was a complete nitwit jerkwad who called his wife a whore.

  Simon was staring at her as though mentally fitting her for a straightjacket. “I don’t know about that.”

  Eve McKay set down her ever-present travel mug of coffee, a grin on her face. “Come on, Simon. You know why you’re here. You’re curious. Just like the rest of us.”

  Adam clapped his hands and tossed his body into one of the chairs. “I’m thrilled. I think Kris is going to set Ian on his ass, and I’ve been waiting for that.”

  She liked Adam, but she had to side with her Master. Despite the whole punching him in the face thing—which she would totally do again—she was trying to be a good submissive and that meant siding with her Master. It was obvious he had some difficult employees. “You should respect Ian, Adam.”

  Adam frowned. “I thought you would be more fun than this.”

  Eve leaned over. “Alex told me Ian has a black eye.”

  Adam fist pumped. “Fuck, yeah. You go, girl.”

  Serena slapped at her husband’s arm. “Be polite.”

  Jake was on the other side of Serena, a mug of coffee in his hand. “He doesn’t know how. He thinks tact is a made-up word.”

  Adam frowned. “Well, we all know tact just means lying about shit. How many of us cheered when we found out Kris was Ian’s long lost wife? Come on.”

  Eve, Jake, and Serena raised their hands.

  “Well, I was just pissed to find out she’d lied about her name.” Jesse Murdoch was sitting beside Simon, a sour look on his face.

  “I was undercover.” She didn’t really like Jesse. He’d totally shot her.

  “So was I but I used my real name. It’s confusing to keep changing names,” Jesse shot back.

  He was a little behind the curve, but she’d sworn to be kinder to all of God’s creatures, even the slow ones. “Sorry, Jesse. It’s Charlotte. I’ll try to be more clear in the future so you know the full name of the woman you’re shooting and leaving horrific scars on.”

  She was perfectly satisfied with the way he blanched.

  Simon chuckled under his breath. “She’s got you there. Don’t be such a fucking idiot. I’m your damn sponsor. Don’t make me look bad.”


  “I’m only here to find out what you know about Eli Nelson.” Liam O’Donnell wasn’t playing around.

  God, she felt like shit when she looked at him. The only way to deal with Liam was honesty. “I know I’m the reason he had the chance to blow up the apartment you were in and send your brother running with the bearer bonds. You might not believe it, but I didn’t know what he was planning. He didn’t let me in on it.”

  Liam hadn’t brought his wife with him. Charlie knew this wasn’t entertainment for him. This was serious. She’d betrayed more than just Ian. “Would it have changed a damn thing knowing what would happen?”

  She hated the answer but had to be truthful. “No. Eli Nelson had my sister by then.”

  “Your sister, Chelsea Dennis. She was taken from her elementary school in North Carolina by her father, Vladimir Denisovitch, and brought to Moscow. He kidnapped her right off the playground. You were older. Did he use your sister to get you to go with him? Or were you afraid because he’d murdered your mother by then?” Adam asked, proving just how smart he was.

  Charlie felt her jaw drop. She thought Chelsea had buried that information. “How do you know that?”

  “Is your sister the hacker?” Adam’s eyes flared as though he’d found a challenge.

  Charlie nodded. “She’s the best in the world.”

  Adam sat back. “Second best. Tell her she didn’t go far enough. No information is ever really lost. You just have to know which threads to follow and which lead to nowhere. I have amazing instincts. It’s not just about talent. I’d met you. I didn’t know if it was you or someone else who had covered the tracks. I made an educated guess. Can she walk? Her medical records were inconclusive.”

  Charlie took a deep breath. God, he’d found out far more than she’d expected. “She has a pronounced limp.”

  Adam’s voice had a gravely tone, as though he was deeply sympathetic. “From the compound fractures of both the tibia and the fibula in each leg. I can’t imagine the pain of that. She was left like that for a long period of time? I found the X-rays online. They showed a healing process. The doctors had to refracture the legs to set them. She was ten?”