Logan wasn’t sure if Cori knew the meaning, but assumed, like most females, she wasn’t clueless. All he could do was hope this subtle act would represent what was in his heart without having to reveal why. Not like I can sweep her into my arms, kiss her, and say, “Hey guess what, we’re not related.”
As he knocked on her door, he wondered if he should’ve called first. Yesterday he’d definitely caught her off guard, as she wasn’t dressed for company. However, he wasn’t opposed to her attire either.
As he heard the door being unlocked, his smile widened. There was no other place he wanted to be right now, and holding her again in his arms was going to feel like heaven.
It was like a punch in the gut when he saw her. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her cheeks drenched with tears. Oh, God. He rushed inside, shut the door, and pulled her into his arms, letting the roses fall to the floor.
“Sweetheart, what’s the matter? What happened?”
Her body shook, and her words were beyond comprehension. Logan needed to let her get past whatever was ripping her heart apart. All he could do was pray it wasn’t him and wait until she was ready to talk.
He wanted to take her to the couch and hold her on his lap. Instead, he stood where they were and gently rubbed her back as she clung to him, sobbing. He could feel her hot tears penetrate his cotton shirt. It was as though his skin burned from her sadness. Nothing in his life had ever made him feel like he was going to break down and cry. But knowing she was hurting caused him enough pain to bring him to tears too.
That was the moment he realized her happiness meant everything to him. Never would he want to do or say anything to make her cry. Whatever it is now, I promise I’ll find a way to make it better.
As her sobs slowly stopped, he knew it was time to walk her to the couch where they could talk. Logan had to resist the urge to wipe her face and kiss those tears away. This wasn’t about what he wanted. He needed to be there for her, listen to her, show her he could be more than he thought he was capable of.
Once they sat down, she blew her nose and said, “I’m really sorry about losing it in front of you like that. I’m normally better at containing myself than this. It’s just that . . . I was overwhelmed with something, and it broke my heart.”
“I can see that. Do you want to tell me about it?” His voice was soft and tender, as he reached out and touched her hand.
“Oh, Logan, it’s not so easy. I’m not sure where to start. But if I do, I’m afraid that . . . you’ll hate me.”
He wanted to reassure her that could never happen. Just seeing her cry was hard, so imagining her not being in his life was like a knife to his heart. “Sweetheart, I could never hate you. I don’t think you know what you’ve come to mean to me.”
She looked up at him, and her eyes went from green to the deepest blue he’d ever remembered seeing. He could see there was so much going on within her right now that it was not the time to tell her everything. That would be like brushing aside what she was trying to deal with. The night was young; what he had to say could wait.
“You can tell me anything, Cori.” He brushed away a strand of hair that clung to her cheek and tucked it behind her ear. “I promise not to hate you.”
Cori nodded and sat back on the couch, pulling her hands away and folding them in front of her. She didn’t meet his eyes as she spoke, “I spent the day with Morgan today. We took Tyler for a bike ride, and he had a great time.”
He knew that wasn’t why she was crying, but he’d let her tell the story as she needed to. “That sounds like a nice way to spend a Saturday.”
“It was. When we were done, we went back to her house and . . . talked for a while.”
Talked? He knew that was dangerous. Morgan wasn’t one to hold back, and she surely didn’t believe in secrets. It wasn’t if Morgan said anything, it was what she told Cori. “What did you talk about?” He could see Cori’s fingers tremble as she became even more nervous. He knew Morgan wouldn’t lie, so whatever was said, at least it was true. That didn’t mean it was any less ugly. “Cori, please sweetheart, just trust and believe. I won’t hate you.” I never could. You’re ingrained in my soul.
For the first time, she looked at him. “She told me about Shaun’s mother. About all the mothers.” Her torment started again as fresh tears ran down her cheeks.
Logan had to admit, he wasn’t ready to discuss that with her. Not now and maybe never. It was something he avoided even thinking about. Our mothers. My mother. And what my father did. How was he going to explain to her what was still such a raw wound deep in him? He did the impossible for so many but how a family heals from such horrific things was still a mystery.
“Cori, I know that must’ve . . . been quite a surprise to you.”
“You mean shock. Total disbelief, it’s so sad, but I know it’s true,” she choked out.
He nodded. “I wish it wasn’t. I’m not sure what is worse, knowing the truth or living without the answers.”
Cori reached out and touched his hand. He wanted to shut down and change the subject. It’s how he’d handled this so far with his siblings. Maybe it was a good thing she’d heard it from Morgan. He’d thought about what it’d be like to have to say the words to her. They were words the rest of his family exchanged with their spouses, but until now, he didn’t have anyone he thought he could share this with or who’d help him carry the ache. From the look in Cori’s eyes, she was that person.
They’d never exchanged word of love, but he knew, just knew, that somewhere through this crazy life they’d both been living, they’d found their perfect match. It was ironic that this revelation was taking place during one of the most painful conversations he’d ever had. Maybe that’s why I can, because I need to be strong for us both.
“I’m glad Morgan told you, Cori. There wasn’t any way I could have gotten those words out. That man has, in one lifetime, hurt more people than anyone can count. Destroyed the lives of women and their families and never blinked an eye. How could he bring such . . . evil to a country that had been built on family values and people helping each other? Instead, he showed them what money and power could buy. Their virgin daughters.” He knew his tone reflected only a shadow of the disgust that ran through every cell of his being.
Her eyes were wide, and she sat silently watching him. Did she hate him for being the son of such a bastard? Logan couldn’t blame her if she did. Too many times he looked in the mirror and hated himself. They weren’t his deeds, his sins, yet he carried them internally.
“Even before I knew—any of us knew—what our father had done to Tabiq, I’d dedicated my life to helping others. That’s why I became a surgeon, to help heal physical pain, even if I couldn’t fix the emotional aspect. It was where I buried all my own afflictions. After Bennett uncovered the truth, I knew I could spend the rest of my life performing surgeries and never come close to making up for what James had done.”
Cori said softly, “You’re not James.”
“No I’m not, but I’m a Henderson. My existence is based on someone else’s pain. I know I didn’t do it, but subconsciously I can’t bring myself to meet my mother. If she can ever be found that is. I’m sure Morgan told you that Bennett hasn’t been able to locate her.”
She shook her head. He’d figured that was part of the reason why she’d been crying, for him. The entire situation had been enough to break even the strongest person. If you have a heart that beats, how could it not feel all this?
“That doesn’t mean he won’t find her.”
That’s what he wanted to hear, but he somehow knew that wasn’t going to happen. Bennett had traced her to being brought to the US and delivering him. Nothing after that. “No one has ever seen or heard from her again. Somehow I know it has to do with me.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Bennett found the midwife who’d been on my father’s payroll all those years ago. She told him that the woman, my mother, had refused to give up her child. She f
ought kicking and screaming and said she’d die before letting me go. Here I am, and she’s nowhere to be found. What else can I assume? My father never would’ve risked her coming back after me. I know he did something to her because she wanted me that much.”
“I don’t know what to say, Logan. It’s got to be . . .”
He understood her lack of ability to come up with the right word. Even for a journalist, it’s impossible to find the right way to describe this.
That was when something clicked. Cori wanted the big story, one that would rocket her to the top. This sure as hell would. Every news station and paper would be fighting for this.
“You wanted an interview, and this is what you found. The Henderson name makes women and children cower and hide. We’re monsters.” His voice was filled with bitterness. Bitterness toward her, his father, his grandmother . . . anyone associated with why he was so fucked up. He’d been slowly lowering his walls with her. Allowing her in to see what made him tick. But if she printed this story, if she told the world how evil the Hendersons actually were, there would be no future for them. Somehow, what should have made his future certain held no sway over what he felt now. Protect yourself first. He was going to lose the one person he loved because he didn’t know how to do anything but push people away. You can’t hurt them and they can’t hurt you that way.
Cori sat back with a look of surprise on her face. “I can’t believe you think that I’d . . . that I could ever share that with anyone.”
“Cori, you’re a reporter who found me for this exact reason. So tell me, what has changed? Not interested in becoming an instant celebrity and making a boatload of money doing it?” Logan got up. It was all too real for him. He needed to go for a walk or a drive or anything. This conversation was suffocating him; he needed space.
When he got to the door, he saw the pink roses he’d brought for her. Picking them up, he remembered why he got them.
Because I’m so damn happy she’s in my life.
For the first time there was something in his heart that went beyond familial love. And he wanted to experience that. To know the acceptance and unconditional love Brice knew. Well, Dean, Shaun, Alex, Zoey . . . all of them knew. And the woman before him? She was far too exceptional. Intelligent, sassy, beautiful. God. I can’t.
He couldn’t walk out that door. If he did, he was walking away from her.
Turning around, he went to the couch and handed her the flowers. “Cori, I’m sorry. These flowers are for you. Maybe we can start tonight over again.”
She smiled up at him as she took the flowers. “I’d like that.”
He sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and she rested her head on his. Neither spoke. So much had already been said. They still had each other, and right now that was all that mattered.
Cori wished she could fix his deep-seated pain. It was impossible. No words would ever heal that, but what she could do was make sure she wasn’t the one who broke the story. Things like that always got out somehow, but they would never come from her. That promotion meant nothing to her without him in her life.
It was more than him and her. His entire family would suffer. They took her in and showed her kindness and trust. No amount of money would be worth what would happen to them if she spoke out.
She tried telling Logan that, but did he honestly believe her? Trusting someone with such a secret was hard. Cori wasn’t sure if she could’ve done the same. But for Logan, I’d do anything. They sat on the couch all night, holding each other until they fell asleep. She wanted so much more, but at that moment all either of them were capable of was showing they were there; they weren’t letting go.
The sun was coming up and a new day had arrived. They were supposed to go to Brice and Lena’s for brunch. There was no way he was going to want her to attend, not after last night. This was still so fresh and raw. She needed to come up with an excuse for not going, so he wouldn’t have to come up with one for why he didn’t want her there. No matter what, he probably wishes that conversation never took place. And if he finds out that I only knew a small part of it and let him keep talking, he will hate me for sure.
Pretending to cough, she said, “I think I’ve caught your cold. I think I should spend the day in bed. You need to go home and get ready for your family gathering.” That was so believable. There’s nothing more contagious than the common cold.
Logan arched a brow and chuckled, “My cold? Are you sure it’s mine?”
“Positive.”
He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips and said, “Then I think you’ll be okay.”
Cori pulled back slightly and looked at him long and hard. He was toying with her, and she didn’t know why. Then she added another cough to show him she truly was sick. “I’m not sure about that. I wouldn’t want to give this to your family.”
Smiling Logan said, “If it’s mine, you won’t.”
“Just because you’re a top neurosurgeon doesn’t mean you know everything.”
“You’re right, but if it’s my cold you have so suddenly developed, then I’m not concerned one bit.”
“And why is that?” Cori huffed.
“Because I was never sick.”
She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or pissed. He’d lied to her. “I was up most of the night worried about you, and you’re telling me it was all a . . . lie?”
“Yes. And I promise to tell you about it another time. We had enough sharing last night.”
She looked at him, filled with doubt. What could honestly be harder to talk about than what they’d discussed last night? From here on in it should be smooth sailing. Who am I kidding? He’s a Henderson, and I’m a Sparks; nothing is ever easy for either of our families.
“And what do I get if I agree?”
He pulled her into his arms, kissed her again, then said, “How about we discuss the terms tonight after we spend the afternoon with the family.”
She didn’t miss the fact he didn’t say, my family. Was he saying she meant as much to him as he did to her? Cori felt her heart flutter with hope, something she always avoided. But right now, next to love, hope was her strongest emotion. It scared her. Hope was filled with empty promises that usually led to disappointment. As she looked into his dark eyes, she knew it wasn’t hope she was feeling. It was the words echoing in her soul. Trust and believe. Cori knew she did with all her heart.
“Then I suggest we get ready, because I don’t want to have to explain to Morgan why I’m wearing the same clothes as yesterday.”
Logan laughed. “In that case, we could just skip it.”
Cori was tempted to take him up on that offer. Staying home with him in her arms all day sounded nearly perfect. That wasn’t what he needed right now, though. Logan might not know it, but he needed his family as much as he wanted her. And in some ways, she needed them too.
“Sorry, Logan. I heard what a feast Lena puts on, and I’m hungry.”
He caved and told her he’d be back to pick her up in two hours. She hated to see him go but needed a bit of time to herself. It wasn’t for what he might think. She picked up her laptop and went to the file that said Henderson on it. Her mouse hovered over it for a few minutes, thinking of the many hours she’d put into compiling all that information. For so long it had consumed her. For too long. She had much more that could be added to the already large amount of data. In one click of the mouse, she hit delete, and it was gone. Then she opened the trash file and hit empty.
That didn’t mean she’d forgotten about Grandpa Joe’s death. She just knew a man like Logan had been through enough already. It wasn’t any of their faults that James may have done this. Bringing it up to them would only be adding fuel to a burning fire within them.
It wasn’t easy, but this was what her grandpa would’ve wanted. For the anger and bitterness to go so healing could begin. Grandpa, I wish I could’ve found some justice for you. I wish I could’ve found some for Logan. Maybe in the end all we can
hope for is some peace.
A single tear rolled down her cheek. Cori felt as though a weight had been lifted off her. That chapter of her life had closed. She only wanted to look toward the future. One with Logan Henderson.
Chapter Fifteen
‡
Logan had expected someone to say something at brunch, but no one did. There was one quick mention of Uncle Shaun and Uncle Bennett not being there, but other than that it probably was the best brunch he’d ever attended with the family.
As they were saying their goodbyes, Morgan grabbed hold of his arm and ushered him into the other room. She apologized for prattling on with Cori the day before. Logan assured her that there was no issue at all. He wished that were the case. He still hadn’t let the family know what she knew. If they had known, brunch would’ve been much different. And when Bennett returns and finds out Cori knows, he’ll definitely tell them.
He had to be proactive. Which one would flip the most was hard to guess. Shaun was still going to be on his high from meeting his mother. Zoey had other things she was focused on. Alex was a writer, so in some ways they actually might connect. Dean and Brice were an entirely different story. They were less forgiving. The only thing that kept them from being complete assholes was the women they married. I wonder if marriage would change me too?
That wasn’t something he’d ever considered. As his family got married, he assumed it wasn’t for him. He was married to his work. Logan never needed or wanted anything more. That changed once he met Cori. He wasn’t sure he wanted marriage, but he knew for the first time in his life it wasn’t out of the picture.
He turned to her as he drove and noticed she’d fallen asleep. Although they’d dozed last night, it had been restless and uncomfortable, to say the least. The only plus was having her in his arms. Today his back ached, and he had a kink in his neck that wouldn’t go away. Dean was kind enough to have made mention that he was walking like an old man. Part of him agreed. It had to be more than an uncomfortable position that was doing him in. Most likely the extreme level of stress.
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