But thinking about it helped get my mind off my second biggest dilemma, which I found sitting on my old front porch in a rocking chair, holding a bottle of beer.
“Joe!” Ashley and Mikey squealed while Muffy barked with excitement.
Traitors.
My niece threw open her door, abandoning her brother as she bolted for my ex-boyfriend, Muffy fast on her heels. Joe set his bottle on the table and stood to greet her. Ashley leaped for him, and he scooped her up into a hug, spinning her around.
“How’s my little Asherella?”
She giggled. “It’s not Asherella, Joe. It’s Cinderella.”
“Ashes. Cinders. Same thing.” He walked down the steps to the front yard and set her down. His huge grin faded as he watched me free Mikey from his car seat and deposit him on the ground.
“Joe!” Mikey shouted and ran for him.
Joe knelt and hugged the little boy a moment longer than I would have expected, then stood and took a step toward me. “Hi, Rose,” he finally said.
He was wearing jeans and a tan jacket. The brown thermal shirt he wore underneath made the natural copper highlights in his dark brown hair stand out. When we were together, the sight of him had always stolen my breath away. Today was no exception, but the reasons were much different than they’d been before.
I’d last seen Joe almost two weeks ago, when he’d pulled into the driveway of this house to tell me that he was moving back to Henryetta and taking the sheriff’s job. I’d handled that just fine. And the last time I’d seen him before that was four weeks ago in the woods after he’d shown up to save Mason and me from Daniel Crocker. But seeing him with the kids was my undoing. A lump burned in my throat as memories of all our dreams rushed into my head. We’d talked about a future that had included children, but it had all come crashing down when the time came for Joe to pay the piper—his father, who had gotten him out of jam after jam. Joe’s parents demanded that he cut all ties with me unless I gave up all the important, but socially unacceptable, people in my life so Joe could run for the state senate. In the end, we both knew I couldn’t do it, no matter how much we loved each other. And Joe couldn’t have told his father he wouldn’t cooperate because J.R. Simmons had trumped up some false charges against me, Violet, and Mike, and had threatened to make them public unless Joe played his game.
So Joe left me behind broken-hearted and had run off on the campaign trail with his long-time ex-girlfriend Hilary at his side. And in his bed. I could understand why he’d agree to a pretend engagement—Joe had told me that a single man had little chance of getting elected in our neck of the woods—but I couldn’t accept that he’d let Hilary snare him into a real relationship. Again. He’d fallen back into his toxic entanglement with her time and time again over the past ten years. In fact, Mason’s sister had paid the price with her life.
No, Joe McAllister—the man with whom I’d fallen in love—was not the man in front of me right now. He never had been. It had just taken me a while to figure it out.
I swallowed the lump. “What are you doing on my front porch?”
His mouth twisted into an ornery grin, but it was obvious his heart wasn’t in it. “If I remember correctly, this is no longer your front porch. Did you move back in?”
“No.”
Ashley tugged on his jacket. “Joe, can we play hide-and-seek?”
He looked down at her, his face softening. “Not right now. I need to talk to Rose for a minute and your daddy is coming to get you. Why don’t you make sure you have Mr. Snuffles in your bag?”
“All right,” she muttered in disappointment.
“And could you take your brother and Muffy with you? The DVD Mikey likes is ready for him to watch. Just press play.”
“Okay, Joe,” she said, taking Mikey’s hand and leading him inside, Muffy following obediently behind as if she’d understood Joe’s words.
How much time did he spend with my niece and nephew anyway? “You still have a key to my house?” It occurred to me that I’d never gotten it back.
“Yeah, Violet told me to keep it.”
“What are you doing here, Joe?” I asked with a firmer tone.
“I talked to Mason this afternoon.”
“So? You could have called me.”
“Would you have taken the call?”
Before this afternoon, probably not.
“See?” he said when I didn’t answer. “Look, Rose. I know you’re still angry with me, and you have every right to be, but I’d never let my feelings for you get in the way of protecting you or preventing a crime. Surely you won’t let your animosity for me get in the way of either of those things.”
I knew he was right, but the way he’d wormed his way back into Ashley and Mikey’s life pissed me off. And I was about to throttle Violet for letting him. When Joe realized I was never going back to him, he’d probably leave Henryetta and Fenton County the first chance he got, crushing their little hearts a second time.
But what did I expect? Joe Simmons left broken hearts everywhere he went. Sometimes literally.
I turned away and stared at the house where he was living again. It looked so much quieter now that my friend Heidi Joy and her brood of kids had moved out. But I had to admit that his car looked like it belonged in the gravel driveway.
My hair was still pulled back in a ponytail, but several strands had worked loose. The breeze swept them into my face, so I reached up and tucked them behind my ears before I turned back to him. “So Mason told you about the bank robbery?”
Anger filled his eyes and his hands clenched into fists. “What were you thinking by studying them like that, Rose? I called Taylor after I talked to Mason and he said one of the guys was about to take you in the back and kill you!”
“No, he wasn’t, Joe. He was taking me in the back to—”
His voice softened. “To hurt you, Rose. He was worried you could identify him. You’re at risk…again.”
I shook my head in dismay. “What would you have had me do, Joe? Bury my head into the floor?”
He closed the distance between us and grabbed my upper arms. “Yes. That’s exactly what you should have done. When will you learn to be more careful?”
I looked up at him, my eyes narrowing. “And is that what you would have done? Ignored them?”
Irritation flickered across his face. “No. Of course not. But I’m a law enforcement officer.”
“You don’t carry your gun everywhere you go. At least you didn’t when you were with me. What if you’d been in that bank with no gun? Would you have buried your head into the floor then?”
“No.”
I jerked my arms out of his grasp. “Then don’t ask me to do something you wouldn’t.”
He spun away, cursing under his breath, then turned back to me. “Well, here we are again. You stumbling into danger and getting your life threatened. How many times do we have to go through this same song and dance, Rose?”
I gasped and crossed my arms over my chest. “How dare you? You don’t have to go through anything. What happens to me has nothing to do with you because we are no longer together!”
“I still love you, Rose! Of course this affects me.”
Rage billowed in my chest. “You love me? You slept with Hilary! How many times did you sleep with her, Joe?” The words coming out of my mouth were black and ugly. And totally unlike me.
Joe’s eyes widened before he recovered. “We were split up, Rose. I thought you were with Jonah.”
And the fact that he’d actually believed I was sleeping with my friend Jonah was an insult. But I’d heard it all before…we were just rehashing the conversation we’d had when he visited the nursery for a campaign stop several weeks ago. Tears blurred my eyes and I shook my head. Pushing past him, I marched up the steps to the front porch. “I can’t do this right now. I have too much else on my plate.”
“You can’t walk away from me, Rose,” he called after me. “Your life is in danger.”
I
spun around, my hands on my hips. “Then why didn’t you send the mug shots to Mason like he asked? If you really cared about me, you would have already done it.”
“It’s not just the mug shots. You’re out on that farm all alone—”
“I’m not alone! I have Mason.”
His face twisted into an ugly sneer. “You blast me for sleeping with someone else, when I thought there was no hope for us—”
“Not just someone. Hilary!”
“—but you didn’t waste any time setting up house with the assistant district attorney.”
“I didn’t start seeing Mason until after you confirmed you were sleeping with her. Besides, his condo was burned down by Daniel Crocker. He had no other place to stay.”
“Really?” he sneered. “He had no other place to stay?”
I looked up at the ceiling of the porch and took a deep breath before leveling my gaze on him. “What do you want, Joe?” My voice was calmer, making my words sound cold. “You’re standing here insulting me when you claim to want me back. What do you want?”
He bolted up the porch steps, not stopping until he was standing directly in front of me. “I want you.”
I bit my lip and shook my head. “That is a non-issue, so if you’re standing here hoping to plead your case, then turn around, pack up your car, and drive back to El Dorado.”
His face hardened, but he didn’t budge.
“So other than that, why are you here right now?”
“I want to protect you.”
“Then send Mason the mug shots.”
“No.” His voice was firm. “I’ll show you the mug shots, and then we’ll set up some type of protective detail with the sheriff’s department for when you’re out on the farm.”
I released a sarcastic laugh. “Yeah, because that worked out so well last time.”
“Things are different. Several deputies were corrupt and in league with Crocker, but the department has been cleaned out now, and anyone watching you would really protect you this time.”
While Mason had suggested the same thing, I was still nervous about trusting the sheriff’s office. “Just let me look at the mug shots. Hopefully, I’ll find the guy on the first try and you can go arrest him. Then we’ll talk about the detail.”
He took several breaths before answering. “Fine. We’ll go with that plan for now.”
“So when are we going to look at the mug shots?”
“I haven’t pulled them yet, but I can do that now and come out to the farm tonight.”
I shook my head. “No. I’ll come to your office.”
“Everyone in the sheriff’s department knows you’re dating Mason. And they also know that you and I used to date. How’s it going to look if you come to my office and we close the door?”
I closed my eyes. I knew Joe didn’t give a rat’s ass how it looked. But he knew that I wouldn’t want to hurt Mason’s reputation and he was using that fact in his favor. “Fine. Come out tonight.”
“I’ll cook you dinner if you’d like. I know you love my chicken parmesan.”
“No. This is not a date. You bring the mug shots, I’ll look through them, and then you leave.”
“You have to eat, Rose.”
“Stop it, Joe, or I won’t let you come at all.”
“Fine, no need to get worked up.” He grinned, making me instantly regret my agreement. “I can bring them out to you at around seven.”
“Okay.” I turned around and grabbed the doorknob.
“Rose.”
I paused and looked over my shoulder.
“It’s good to see you again. I’ve missed you.” Then he turned around and walked down the steps.
I went inside and closed the door, pressing my back to the wood. What had I just gotten myself into?
Chapter Six
I dug out my phone and called Mason, grateful that he answered on the first ring. “You were right about Joe.”
He paused. “So he called you?”
“No. I had to pick up Violet’s kids and bring them to her house because Mike got tied up. Joe was waiting on Violet’s front porch. Waiting for me.”
“How’d he know you would be there?”
“Violet. I’m sure she told him.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he told her why he wanted to talk to me.” But it was just about more than I could take. She could have at least warned me. I’d never felt more betrayed by her in my life, and that was saying something.
“How’d it go? Are you okay?”
“It was ugly. But I’m fine.”
“I called him right after you left, but he didn’t say much. He just told me that he’d think about it and get back to me. I’m sorry, Rose. I should have warned you.”
“It’s not your fault.” I tried to stuff down my frustration. “He says he’ll bring the mug shots out to the farm tonight.”
“The farm?”
“He says it will look bad if I show up at his office and he shuts the door.”
Mason was quiet for several seconds before he exploded. “Goddamn him. I knew he’d take advantage of the situation, but I should have realized he’d go above and beyond my expectations. That self-centered, egotistical, entitled bastard.”
I wasn’t sure what to say.
“Did he say what time he’s coming?”
“Seven.”
He groaned. “I have a meeting at seven. With the sheriff.” He cursed again. “But then he knew that. He did this on purpose.”
“I’ll cancel.”
“You can’t. We need you to ID the guy so they can catch him.”
“Just hurry home when you can, okay?”
“I will. Call me if you need me.”
I hung up and spent the next half hour with the kids before Mike knocked on the front door. Ashley ran to it and threw it open.
“Daddy!”
I was sitting on the sofa with Mikey on my lap, so I stood and set the little boy down. “Hi, Mike.” It was hard to believe that I hadn’t seen him since Halloween. “How are things going with you and Violet?”
He grimaced. “She hasn’t kept you informed of our progress?”
“No. We don’t talk too much outside of work lately.”
His smile fell. “Things really have changed between you two.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, we’re still going to a counselor, but it’s rocky.” He lowered his voice so the kids couldn’t hear. “I think she might be seeing Brody again. Ashley mentions that Mommy goes to the store a lot but doesn’t come home with any bags.” He took a deep breath. “For now, I think it’s best if we don’t spend much time together outside of therapy.” He bent down and picked up Mikey. “I’m still trying to forgive her. And if she’s seeing Brody again—especially since he’s back with his wife—I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive her.”
I gave him a kiss on the cheek. It hadn’t occurred to me that Violet might be seeing the mayor again, but I wasn’t exactly surprised. “I’m sorry you’re going through this, Mike, but I’m always here for you. You deserve better.” I pulled Ashley into a hug. “I have to go, but I’ll see you later.”
“Bye, Aunt Rose.”
Although we were almost out of food, I skipped going to the store and headed straight home with Muffy. Mason had his meeting, which meant he’d probably order something from Merilee’s, and my stomach was too worked up for me to consider eating. Instead, I grabbed a package of crackers out of the pantry and considered reading one of the business books on my nightstand, but something else was pulling me. I dug my birth mother’s diary out of the dresser in Dora’s old bedroom, where I’d originally found it. Muffy had chosen this bedroom for me when we first stayed on the farm, and it was the room Mason and I now shared.
When Mason and I were under protective custody, I’d taken the opportunity to explore my birth mother’s house while we waited for Crocker to be apprehended. It was the first time I’d ever been there. My uncle, who had be
en the executer of my estate until I discovered the truth about my birth mother, had kept everything almost exactly the way it had been when Dora left for work the day of her car accident. When I was less than two months old.
I’d found the diary and a box of photos and, most shocking of all, the nursery Dora had made for me. I’d read a few of her diary entries and examined some of the photos, but most of her private things were still untouched. I’d been busy after our nightmare with Crocker came to a close, so I hadn’t had time to properly explore these remnants. But now, as I waited for Joe to come and attempt to disrupt my life once again, I wanted to read the entries in which my birth mother grappled with the biggest decisions of her life.
Muffy hopped up on the canopy bed that had been Dora’s and curled into a ball in the middle of the queen-sized mattress. I’d kept most of the furniture in the house, only replacing the living room set. My sofa and chair were only a few months old and Dora’s had been uncomfortable. But now the bed looked enticing. It wasn’t even six yet, but I was exhausted after my crazy day. I lay down and rolled onto my side, opening the diary to the first page.
Dora had started journaling in high school. The first entries said the journal was a project for her junior English class. But she wrote in it sporadically through the rest of high school and even after she graduated.
Her first entry was general, but enlightening. Dora was an only child and her parents had died in a car accident when she was five. She barely remembered them, which bothered her more than she let on to most people. She’d moved in with her grandparents here on the family farm, but her grandfather had died her freshman year of high school. Her biggest fear was her grandmother dying and leaving her alone. Her greatest joy was her horses.
My eyelids were heavy, so I closed the cover and rested my eyes. When I woke up, the room was dark. I heard banging on the back kitchen door, followed by the sound of breaking glass.
I sat upright in bed, my chest tightening. Where was my phone? Fear shot through me when I realized I’d left it downstairs in the kitchen. I was on my own.
Thirty-Two and a Half Complications Page 6
