by D. C. Gomez
Shorty looked at me then back to the scene in front. “All hell broke loose.” He eyed my guns very suspiciously. “I hope you have a bigger gun.”
“Bigger? Shorty, what do I look like, Clint Eastwood?” These were the biggest paint guns on the market.
“Well boss lady, they are about to make your day. You better give them hell.”
I wasn’t sure if I was flattered or annoyed that Shorty gave me so much credit. He gave me a serious head nod and a fist pump. It was official; I was on my own.
“Don’t die, boss lady. I got your back.”
“From the truck?” I gave him a quizzical look for good measures.
“Hey, I didn’t say how far.” He did have a point on that.
“Fine, I’m out.” The situation was not going to solve itself, so it was now or never.
I considered the best plan of attack, then decided straight on was just as good as any. Why hide? I was the only one armed. I walked around the truck and started shooting at everything that was moving. We were practicing the 82nd Airborne’s model, shoot them all and let God sort them out. I didn’t have time to distinguish between friend and foe. If they were moving, they were going down. I made it across the street, faster than I hoped. The parking lot of Windsor Place looked like the scene out of a horror film. Zombies were everywhere. Some were attacking one another; others were chasing the poor civilians who were still normal. Others were banging on doors. Did the accountant drop a pie wagon here?
I made it to the middle of the parking lot, shooting zombies left and right. My favorite pair of lovebirds was running in my direction, but this time they were fully zombie. I liked them better when they were naked and scared. I hope this concoction didn’t have any long-lasting effects because it was the second time in less than twenty-four hours I was knocking these two out. I sensed more than felt movement from my right side. I did a quick drop just in time for a zombie to charge at me. Constantine was probably a clairvoyant because when he sent me to take Brazilian Capoeira, I thought that was the most useless fighting technique ever. Now I was doing midair spins, trying to dodge zombies.
It didn’t take long for all my little zombie friends to realize I was human. I had a new plan and hopefully a more practical one. Make them come to me and give the humans time to run. I hope I didn’t die from this. I put my fingers in my mouth and whistled as loud as I could. The air-splitting sound made all the zombies who hadn’t yet noticed me turn in my direction.
“Do you guys want to play?” I asked the crowd. I felt like a Spanish bullfighter. All I needed was the cape because every zombie on the block charged in my direction. Common sense would tell humans to duck and dodge if someone was holding a gun at you. That part of their brains was gone. They just charged.
I took three out in under two seconds. Two got past them and aimed at my head. I elbowed one in the face and double tapped him with the paintball. His friend tried to grab the other side and ended up with a roundhouse to the sternum. When they woke up to their usual selves, they were going to be in pain. I was pretty sure I broke several jaws and femurs in less than ten minutes. That was all it took—about ten minutes from the time I left Shorty till I had chased the last zombie up a set of stairs.
I walked back to the center of the parking lot, double-tapping any zombie that was still twitching. I was not taking any chances with another rebellion. My clothes were covered in sweat, and I was pretty sure I stunk. The May heat was in full effect by now. I heard footsteps and turned, guns ready.
“Hold up, boss lady; it’s just me.”
I saw Shorty, hands in the air in the middle of the road. I took a huge breath and relaxed.
“Please tell me I didn’t miss any of them.” I didn’t want to chance a rogue zombie going down the streets of Texarkana.
“Boss lady, you are on fire.” Shorty was inspecting the aftermath of the fight. “You are one tough lady. I’m impressed.” Shorty gave me a fist bump and I returned it. I smiled back. It was easy to take them down when I knew I was only putting them to sleep.
“Shorty, you got a mess to clean up now.” This was his department. He looked around the place in awe.
“I should have asked to get paid by the body count, not the hour. I’d be rich.” I looked around as well and Shorty was right. There were at least fifty people scattered about.
“I’ll talk to Constantine and see if he can give you a bonus.”
Shorty’s eyes got huge. “Can you check instead and see if I can keep the truck? I like being the cleanup crew. I’m important. I even got business cards.”
I had no idea what Shorty was talking about. He pulled a black business card with red gothic letters that read, “Shorty, Reapers Incorporated, Cleanup Crew.”
“I’m sure Constantine could make that happen.” I smiled at Shorty as he ran over to get this truck. I didn’t have time to help. Maybe he could hire more people. Before I could suggest it, my phone vibrated. I quick-checked the caller ID. It was Abuelita.
“Hi, Abuelita, what’s going on?” It was rare for Abuelita to call me. Usually she just texted.
“Isis, we have a problem.”
Why did everyone’s problem involve me?
“What kind of problem?” This better be good.
“The alarm system at Abuelita’s is going off. I need you to check on it.”
Was she serious? “Abuelita, can it wait? We got a lot of things going on today like the zombie apocalypse.”
“Honey, I know that. But I have a couple of potions boiling at Abuelita’s that if disturbed will send Texarkana back to the dark ages.” Abuelita said that very calmly for a person brewing a bomb in her restaurant.
“That can be a problem.” What else was I supposed to say after that piece of information?
“Not to mention, my security system happens to be dead.”
I was confused. “What do you mean dead? Like ADT shut the power down?” How was a security system dead?
“No, honey, like as a dead SWAT member who guards the premises and notifies me when somebody breaks in. Unlike Death’s Interns who can make the dead destroy things, all I can do is have my security guy send me messages.”
Could I tell the dead to destroy things? I was really behind the curve today; I was not getting all the information. I might need to check on that later. “What exactly do I need to do?”
“Just swing by, check in with Dave and see if everything is OK. He’s freaking out and I can’t get a clear signal.” Abuelita was a medium and could talk to the dead. That was awesome.
“Got it. On my way. If you see Bob, let him know I’m running late.” I looked around for Shorty to let him know.
“Will do, dear. Thank you.” Abuelita hung up and I ran over to Shorty.
“Shorty, I’m heading to Abuelita’s. Can you get some backup here to clean up?” Shorty looked at me like I had grown another head.
“I can hire?” I was worried, just by the sound of his voice.
“Yes, but only reliable people, and you better not discriminate. And offer them fair wages. I don’t need another disgruntled employee trying to kill the rest of Texarkana.” This whole thing about being an employer was complicated. I was leaving this work for Constantine.
“Boss lady. Where should I meet you afterward?” Shorty was way too happy to have people.
“Once you get this organized, swing by Abuelita’s. I have no idea what’s going on, but just in case, stop by. We eventually need to make it to Spring Lake Park. Got it?”
Shorty smiled back at me like a madman. I wondered if he’d been drinking. After today, I might need to start drinking as well.
“We got this, boss lady. You tag them; I’ll bag them.” I laughed at Shorty and ran to Ladybug. Eventually, I was going to get home and change. That was still on my list of things to do.
CHAPTER 34
The parking lot at Abuelita’s was deserted. Whatever had set off the alarm did not drive here. Maybe they parked their tiny vehicles in the bac
k. Either way, I needed to get out of the car. I gave Abuelita my word, so here I was. I could be doing so many other things than checking on empty buildings. I took a deep breath to calm myself. Being pissed at the world was not going to help anyone, including me.
I strolled toward the front of the place. The sun was shining and nothing out of the ordinary was going on until he appeared. I mean, he literary popped out of thin air in front of me. He was a tall black man, built like a linebacker. He was way over six feet and 300 pounds of solid muscle. He was wearing black everything, including a shirt with the words SWAT on it.
“Dave?” I asked with my hands up, just like Shorty had done to me. I wanted to make sure he knew I meant him no harm. Granted, I was pretty sure he could crush me.
“You are real.” Now that was ironic; the ghost was surprised that I was real. Only in my world. “I heard so much about you.” OK, this was getting weirder by the minute. Dave rushed over and shook my hand. My hand disappeared into his and they were freezing. The typical phenomenon that happened with all dead souls.
“Do I want to know what you heard about me and from whom?” Let’s be honest, if all he heard were bad things I did not want to know about it.
“You find lost souls and take them home. My cousin finally made it to heaven because of you.”
“That’s our job. Not a big deal.” I wasn’t sure why Dave was so excited about that.
“But you are the only one that does it consistently.” I knew Dave was telling me the truth. Souls couldn’t lie to me, but I was lost.
“What are you talking about?” I was staring into his eyes and excitement was dancing in them.
“Finding souls is not sexy,” he said. “Nobody is ever going to thank you or even notice you did it. All other Interns want to save the world, battle vampires, and witches. Yes, they save souls, but not all the time and not as much as you do.” Dave took a breath. I wasn’t sure what he was talking about, but I would rather find souls any day than battle crazy witches. “They work on their powers. Nobody wants to do the small, menial jobs. Why do you think they are so many lost souls left behind?”
“Because they can’t find the tunnel with the light,” I told him, a little meekly. Dave laughed a genuine laugh. I smiled a little. I felt better. At least somebody got my joke.
“You are truly special. It is an honor to serve you. When I’m done paying my karmic debt, would you take me home?” I wasn’t sure if Dave knew that he needed to be alive to pay his karmic debt. This was his story and I was not going to break the news to him.
“As long as I’m still around, it will be my pleasure,” I told him with a smile.
Dave lit up like a Christmas tree. “You mean it. Thank you. We can tell when humans are lying, even Interns.” I had no clue. Good to know. “What you do matters, Ms. Isis. The souls believe in you. It might not be big, like saving a city from zombies, but it means the world to that soul.”
Maybe I couldn’t save humanity, but I could touch one soul at a time. That was huge and I was getting teary-eyed. This was my week to cry.
“Honestly, I thought that was the whole purpose of the job. I guess I didn’t realize we had options.” Maybe it wasn’t a bad thing. I hadn’t read the manual. Dave beamed at me again.
“You are the youngest Intern; there is hope,” Dave said softly. “I know you’re busy, so I won’t keep you long. I got two trespassers in the shop. There is something wrong with them because nothing I tried is working. It’s like they don’t register there is a ghost in the room. They keep yelling your name.”
I shook my head and just stared at Dave. Why did I attract all the crazies? Dave looked at me, a little sad.
“Dave, we need to get them out before they destroy the place or tip Abuelita’s potions over.”
“Too easy on my way.” Before I could say anything else, Dave was gone. I wasn’t sure what to do. Before I could move, the two thugs that had attacked me three months ago at Abuelita’s were back. This time they had a little zombie help going for them.
“Look who’s here. It’s about time you showed up,” one of the thugs said to me. I couldn’t tell them apart by their faces and I was pretty sure they weren’t twins. Their faces were contorted and they looked almost like they were foaming, just like the bobcats. At least they were wearing different clothes. The one that spoke was wearing a red shirt and the other a blue. I started backing up slowly.
“Dave, what did you do?” I said to the wind since Dave was missing.
“You said you wanted them out. I whispered to them you were outside and they left,” Dave told me from behind the thugs, proud of himself. I wanted to choke him to his second death.
“True, but you at least could have warned me they were heading my way.”
The thugs were coming toward me.
“Sorry. I thought you were ready.”
Nobody was ever ready to get beat up. What was Dave thinking?
I pulled my paint gun and pulled the trigger. It was empty. I tried the second, and the same thing happened. I had my 9mm in my lower back, but that was for last resort. These two were annoying and a pain in the neck, but they didn’t deserve to lose their souls.
The reasoning was not going to work with these two. They couldn’t make rational decisions when they were only humans; now it was a lost cause. My situation was deteriorating very quickly. Blue zombie was carrying one of Abuelita’s large knives. That thing looked more like a sword than a knife. I needed a weapon now.
I ran back to Ladybug and the zombie started chasing me. I wasn’t sure how, but every zombie here was moving with a purpose. I barely had time to get to my door when they were on me. Blue was moving the fastest. I had no idea what to do on short notice, so I slammed him with the driver’s door. The reinforced door took Blue Zombie out. That was going to leave a horrible mark I was afraid he dislocated his kneecap with that hit. At least Blue dropped down like a sack of potatoes.
That gave me enough time to grab my machete from the ceiling of Ladybug. Red ran directly at me. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with these two today. I still needed to get to the park and this was not part of my master plan. I had no idea how he did it, but Red managed to grab the knife his buddy had dropped. He was petty agile with a weapon for a zombie. I had to block several swings very quickly with the machete.
“Hey, Dave, a little help over here!”
Dave was bouncing up and down like he was shadow-boxing.
“What do you need, Ms. Isis?” Dave was running in my direction, finally.
“I’m out of ammo for the paint gun. I have more in my trunk; I need you to fill it for me.” I was blocking with the machete with my right hand and with my left, I passed Dave the gun. He shook his head in wonderment. “Dave, take the gun now.”
He made it to my side and reached for the gun. His hand was shaking. I handed him the gun and he held it firmly in his hand.
“How is this possible?” Once again, I didn’t know what Dave was talking about.
“Dave, hurry! I need the gun now.”
Dave moved around the car and headed toward the trunk. Blue was starting to twitch back to life. Red kept on coming and I was not happy. I managed to drag him away from Ladybug to keep Dave focused. When I finally got a clean angle, I kicked him in the ribs and knocked him to the ground. I knew that wasn’t going to keep him down for long. They just kept coming. I got distracted and Blue pulled me down to the ground.
“Dave, anytime now.”
Red was getting ready to join the fight. I kept trying to get away from Blue. I was trapped by two of the most annoying zombies ever.
“Ms. Isis, cover your eyes.” I had no idea what that meant, but I did as Dave told me. I opened my eyes to find both zombies out.
“Thank you, Dave.” I slowly pulled myself to a standing position.
“It’s not possible, how can I hold it?”
I looked at Dave and I finally understood. He was not supposed to be able to hold solid objects, which explaine
d his hesitation. He looked at me for answers. I thought about it for a minute.
“Because I gave you a direct order. I guess it’s part of Death’s gifts.” I didn’t have a more reasonable explanation. Death’s powers were still a huge mystery to me. “Are you going to be OK?” I wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to freak out.
“I helped an Intern. That was awesome. Let me know if I can do it again.”
Not the answer I expected, but at least Dave was back to his cheerful self. Ghosts were weird at times. My phone vibrated as I was watching Dave do his celebration dance. I wanted to scream. This stupid phone was worse than a leash.
“Hello.” I didn’t even bother looking at the caller ID. I just didn’t care anymore.
“Isis, where are you?” Constantine sounded angry.
“At Abuelita’s,” I told him, as I made my away around Ladybug to close the trunk.
“Why?” Constantine asked. “Never mind. You can tell me later. They need you at the park. The apocalypse is under way.”
“I’m low on ammo and I’m struggling here,” I admitted to Constantine. I was becoming exhausted.
“You’re just around the corner. Head over here first and I’ll get you fixed.” I was hoping Constantine had a plan before I passed out.
“On my way. Can you send Shorty this way? I got a couple of bodies for him to pick up. Also, have him lock up Abuelita’s while he’s here.”
“Got it. Hurry.” Constantine hung up as usual.
“Dave, I got to run. Are you good here?”
Dave walked over, smiling brightly. “Yes, ma’am. This has been a great day. You are the real deal.”
“Sure. Watch the place. I’m off to chase more zombies.” I shook his hand for good measure and he smiled. What an odd day.
CHAPTER 35
Constantine had understated the situation at Spring Lake Park. I parked by the baseball fields closest to the entrance off I-30 and it was nuts. Our little local sociopath had been busy. There were as many zombies running around as humans. I got out of Ladybug and went to the trunk to get my gear. I finally felt prepared to face the world. Black cargo pants and combat shirt, hair in a long braid, steel toe boots, and enough ammo to take on an army. This was how you went to war. Constantine had sent me out with another shake. I had taken two before leaving the house. Eric was my hero right now. Who needed those five-hour energy drinks when you had these?
