“Only for the publicity, yes.”
“Fine. Give me some time, then you know where you can find me.” Drawing strength from the upcoming solitude, she looked fully at him, the resulting physical jolt shocking her with its intensity. Tenderness was written all over his face for her. It seemed like he … he cared for her.
“Great, I’ll bring the coffee.” Relief rang loud and clear in his words. “And Pippa, just let me say one thing.” He reached out a hand to cup her face and stroked her cheek with his thumb.
All her senses culminated in her face, all the better to feel his touch but somehow, with a mammoth internal struggle, she managed not to turn to the warmth and submerge herself in it.
“I’m sorry this has happened. I didn’t mean it to, I promise you.”
“Sure.” The word shook and she turned before the world followed suit, for wracking sobs were on the horizon and advancing fast. “I’ll see you soon.”
The corridor she walked down seemed to go on forever, the walls closing in. Don’t think, just put one foot in front of the other. As she passed through the staff accommodation, she heard Fiona’s laugh from behind a closed door. She must have gone to see David, who shared his room with the chefs, and so their own room would be empty.
Her bed called to her, and the thought of burying herself beneath the duvet and giving into her despair appealed greatly. But the knowledge that someone, sooner or later, would come looking for her gave her the strength to resist. She sat on the edge, gnawing on her thumbnail. She felt like a little girl, with Christmas cancelled. It was too much. Tears escaped to spill silently down her cheeks, a steady stream to rival the Queen Elizabeth Falls outside.
Yet an answer glistened through her befuddled brain. Leave then. Leave it all behind her. But go where? Oh who cares, just get out of here. Getting up, she struggled out of her chef’s whites and flung on her jeans and jumper. It was then she saw the envelope, on the ground, where the door must have pushed it. Her name was written on it, in strong, bold print, and, hand shaking, she opened it.
Dear Pippa, I’ve been looking all over for you. Marcus Longbottom is on his way over here, to increase our much-needed publicity tomorrow. I need to talk to you about it so when you get this, would you please, whatever the time is, come to the Doubtful so I can explain? J.
She ran her fingers over the script. His writing was like him: strong, no nonsense, and arrogant. Sorry, Pippa, you’re just not good enough for our Gala Dinner, so we’re flying over your ex-boss to put things right.
In an effort to stem the tears she promised herself a good cry when she was away from here, and packed the last of her things. With a final look at the cabin, she hoisted her bag on her shoulder and shut the door. Don’t think, just do. Hopefully the Xplorer would be making a trip inland to take the customers who wanted to kayak in the sound into bay.
She kept her head down as she walked, the last thing she wanted was to run into someone she knew. Although a small part of her yearned to be stopped and to have her decision taken out of her hands. Was she right to go? Would the kitchen handle the dinner without her? What about Jonathon? The realization she had come to last night? Could she not stay and talk, at least, to him?
Images of an entwined Marcus and Juliet, the big dinner, her team, and Jonathon being too busy to even notice she was gone struck up a cinematic loop. Everything else she could handle, but Jonathon’s lack of respect for her, both as a chef and as a woman, swung the balance and she stepped aboard the Xplorer just in time for it to move away from the Coral Princess.
She brought her knees up to her chest and laid her head down on them, not wanting to see the Xplorer taking her away. Just an hour ago, she had been full of excitement and dreams of her future as a bright up and coming chef. Walking through life with Jonathon at her side. It was all shattered.
• • •
Jonathon strode through the kitchen for the umpteenth time, scattering agitation like a flower girl scattering rose petals.
“Where is she?” he barked at Alfonso.
“Not here. Sorry, Mr. Eagleton, she hasn’t come back yet.”
Jonathon ran his hands through his hair, absentmindedly giving himself a small head massage as he did so. Think, man, think. She has to be somewhere. She wouldn’t just leave all her hard work behind.
“Alfonso, did she let you know how she was going to run the dinner?” A suspicion was starting to take shape.
Alfonso gave him a big smile, misinterpreting Jonathon’s fear. “Not to worry, she briefed me in full about the entire day. She even wrote her instructions for each station down, and gave me the master copy, whilst giving each station their own. Pippa leaves nothing to chance, she’s such a good chef.”
Yes, yes but where was she? The answer Alfonso gave sparked his suspicions into flame.
“Fine. Where’s Fiona?”
“She’ll be in her office, at reception on the first floor.” Alfonso had to raise his voice as Jonathon had already left the kitchen.
He walked quickly through the corridor, shooting back his cuff to look at his Breitling. She had been gone forty-five minutes by now. A niggle inside his gut started to move up to his heart. She must be here. She had disappeared last night, only to reappear again. So maybe she would do the same again today.
But his suspicions refused to listen to reason. He had seen the way devastation had etched itself clearly on her face when she had asked him for a little time alone. Disillusionment shone dully from her normally sparkling green eyes, and she had deflated before his eyes. Pippa, the girl who had an answer for everything, who surrounded herself with fun, who had a temper like an alley cat, her light had gone out.
The memory of her white, strained face tried to pull his heart into his abdomen. He wanted to enfold her in his arms and smooth the rigidity from her shoulders. Kiss her eyelids gently to restore the sparkle to her eyes, and slide his lips down to the corner of her mouth and breathe love into her. Watch the roses bloom in her cheeks again, and have her worry melt away like a butterfly.
Oh, to have her safe in his arms, as she was in his heart. He loved this girl. He acknowledged the thought with little surprise, as if he had always known it. Jonathon Eagleton loves Pippa Renshaw. It was familiar to him, as though he had written it in the stars.
The door to Fiona’s office was open. “Fiona?” he called as he pushed it wide. “Good, you’re here,” he said to the top of her head as she was poring over some files.
“Hi, Mr. E, what’s up?” She was light and breezy.
“Have you seen Pippa this morning?” Jonathon dove straight into the conversation. He knew he was being rude, but he just wanted to see Pippa and make sure she was okay.
“Not yet, I know she’s very busy and don’t expect we’ll touch base unless I head into the kitchen looking … what?” She broke off as Jonathon held a hand up.
“Would you mind checking your room?”
“Course not, but what’s the problem?”
“I’ll walk with you, fill you in on the way.”
Fiona had to trot beside Jonathon’s long gait, but he took no notice and started talking as soon as they left the office. When she heard that Pippa had bumped into Marcus, Fiona stopped dead in her tracks. Jonathon carried on walking and talking until he reached their room and there was no Fiona with him. Glancing back, he saw her with her hand to her mouth.
“Pardon me, Mr. Eagleton, but are you telling me that Marcus Longbottom is here to take over the kitchen for the Gala Dinner and she had absolutely no idea until she bumped into him this morning in her kitchen?”
“That’s what I’m saying.”
“Poor Pippa.” Fiona glared at him, blame written all over her face and nearly pushed him over in her haste to get to their cabin. Flinging the door open, she stood in the doorway, scanning her room.
“She was here.” Fiona stepped into her room, and upon opening the cupboard, discovered it empty of Pippa’s clothes.
“But?”
“She’s gone, and she’s taken all her stuff with her.” Fiona sat on Pippa’s neatly made bed.
Jonathon ran his hands through his hair. “I’m checking the Xplorer, although I think it’s left by now. Walk with me again please.”
“Sure thing. You don’t think she’s left the ship?”
“Looks that way. Did she say anything to you about where she may go?” Jonathon was short, but his mind was busy whirling through the possibilities. Where would she go?
“No. I haven’t seen her since yesterday afternoon, when all she was talking about was the Gala Dinner this evening. I can’t believe you brought Marcus Longbottom over to run it instead.” Her voice was accusing. “Talk about a kick in the teeth.”
“It wasn’t planned, if that makes you feel any better.”
“Well, I’m sure it wouldn’t make Pippa feel any better. That must have been some shock this morning.”
“Well, yes, I can’t imagine she was overjoyed to see her ex-boss here to take over her kitchen.”
“Not just her ex-boss, either.” Fiona’s words were coming out in huffs and puffs as she struggled to keep up with Jonathon.
“Hmm?” Jonathon’s mind wasn’t on the conversation; he was watching the door to the deck loom larger. Please let the boat still be here.
“Her ex-boyfriend too.”
They walked through the door in time to see the toy-like Xplorer dock in the distance, at the small port in Dusky Sound. Damn.
He swung around to Fiona. “What did you just say?”
Fiona frowned, clearly unsure whether to repeat what she’d just said. “Marcus is Pippa’s ex-boyfriend. The reason she left London.” She put the words out there, floating in the air before him. Jonathon felt as though a big, invisible hand shoved him, hard, up against the door. His breath left him in a whoosh, and his eyes nearly lost themselves in the sun sparkles on the water.
“Thanks, Fiona.” The words came out somehow and he didn’t hear her reply as he walked off to the stern.
He gazed around at the fiords, looking for comfort. These fiords had borne witness to a hell of a lot. Standing here for millennia before white people arrived, bringing battles and bloodshed, they watched, immovable, unforgiving.
They would have seen worse than Jonathon losing Pippa, but for him it was as though all those centuries of chaos bore down on him, almost bringing him to his knees.
He raised a hand to guard against the sun and looked over to the Xplorer. He could just make out the passengers leaving it in a steady stream and he fancied he could see Pippa, stopped and looking across the expanse of water at him. So who are you? Why didn’t you let me explain? Why didn’t you tell me Marcus was your ex-boyfriend? So many damn questions. Would he ever find an answer to them? Did he want answers to them? Pippa had gotten under his skin, but he could grow a new skin, harder this time. Didn’t it take seven years before all your cells regenerated to create an entirely new skin?
What about his heart, he couldn’t regenerate that. Ha. He pulled a humourless smile. Perhaps a transplant could be arranged. In the meantime, he could feel a wall of ice starting to pack its way around his heart, a mother protecting her child.
He was the CEO of Queen Cruises. He had managed a deal that saved the company from certain liquidation, and had made his name one to be reckoned with in the industry. Why would he want to go messing about with love? It was far easier to remain single, unattached. Sure, it was lonely, that’s what happened when you reached the top.
Fine, he was Jonathon Eagleton, he could manage it.
Chapter Fourteen
Pippa’s gut wrenched as she watched the Xplorer make its way back to the ship. It had never looked so majestic, sitting in the deep waters with her engines turned off and framed against the forested cliffs. There was no going back. She was on her own in a country she didn’t know and if she thought about it at all, she was going to break down.
A prearranged kayaking company met the other passengers who were soon in mini buses heading away to the kayaking centre. The port was small, with only a few single storey buildings. She glanced around for a hostel, relieved to see one just off the beaten track. No more fancy Stevenson hotels for her anymore, she had thrown all that away. Don’t think, just do.
A friendly face at the desk regarded her quizzically. “Hi, I’m Mario. We have a dormitory room, or would you like a double room?”
“Double room, please.” One good thing about Queen Cruises was that they paid their staff in advance. Although some of the money would now require paying back, at least she had funds to look after herself. It was the here and now that required her attention — dreaming about the future had brought little happiness.
The room shone clean and bright, much better than the room she had shared with Fiona. It had a window, complete with window seat, showing off the amazing scenery. She sat down, opened the window, and took a deep breath, pulling the air up through her diaphragm, expanding her chest. Before it reached her heart, she broke down in a sob. There wasn’t enough room for air and tears, and the tears finally escaped and spilled silently down her cheeks.
What kind of fool was she to ever have thought that Jonathon could have loved her? To believe that she was a decent chef? To throw in a perfectly workable life in London for the dreams she had aspired to? Why had she done it to herself?
She had been so utterly excited at the thought of the Gala Dinner tonight. She loved big nights like that, and to have been in charge would, for her, have been the ultimate in job satisfaction.
Thoughts like powdery snow shifting at the top of a mountain gathered momentum as they picked up remorse and guilt, and tumbled into an avalanche of emotions. Time stood still until something became clear.
Her dreams had shattered.
• • •
The day should be flying past, there was enough to do: schmooze the BBC, ensure everyone was presenting their best sides to the camera, and iron out the smaller details of the new contract with Stevenson. Instead Jonathon was forever looking at his watch. The slow hand was going slower than usual, and each time he looked at his Breitling he could see Pippa’s face as he had last seen her. Stop looking at your watch then. Thoughts like that didn’t help, and come three o’clock he was ready to throw himself overboard. The constant invasion of his thoughts was driving him to near distraction, and today of all days, he couldn’t afford such diversion.
Perhaps if he found out where Pippa was, then he’d be able to focus on the jobs at hand. Twice now during their meeting, Stevenson had looked at him, waiting for an answer to an unheard question.
“Sorry, George, I’m just thinking about the BBC tonight.”
“Fine, as long as there are no problems?” George’s eyes were keen as mustard.
“Not at all.” None that were toxic, anyway.
“Really? Juliet tells me your head chef isn’t here. Seems to me like she’s left you in the lurch.”
Jonathon’s protectiveness expanded his heart and he struggled to hold back a snarl. “Not at all, quite the contrary — the kitchen, under her leadership, has never been better prepared. Marcus Longbottom has nothing to do, I hope we’re not wasting money having him here.” What a laugh, of course they were, but as long as the publicity paid off, it wouldn’t matter in the end.
George nodded, not saying a word.
“But talking about Longbottom and the day, I have to check on how things are going with the TV crew. We’re nearly done here, anyway, so let’s iron out the last creases in Queenstown tomorrow.”
George stood up and offered his hand.
“Good. We’ll see you tonight at the Gala Dinner?”
“Certainly. I’m l
ooking forward to it all.” Jonathon shook his hand firmly, shoving away the thought of how much more enjoyable it would be if Pippa were there.
Waiting until Stevenson had left for a suitable amount of time, Jonathon headed up to the Xplorer’s launching deck. He was in luck. It had just come in, the disembarking passengers talking excitedly about their kayaking.
“Lee?” He called out to the steward who worked the boat, currently sweeping up after the trip.
“Sir?”
“On the early morning trip to bay, did you see Pippa Renshaw on board?”
Lee frowned and cocked his head. “I can’t say I did, Mr. Eagleton. But we were pretty busy.”
Jonathon waited.
“Hang on, now that you mention it, I guess it could have been Pippa.” Lee plucked at his lower lip. “I didn’t recognize her, she was all huddled up. Not at all like she normally is. I remember thinking she could have been a runaway or something like that. She seemed pretty miserable.”
That would have been Pippa all right.
“Did you see what she did when she got off?”
“No, I’m afraid not, I was too busy clearing up for the trip back here.”
Disappointment washed over him, followed by determination. If he didn’t find out where she had gone, he could kiss good-bye to this day and it was far too important a day to let that happen.
“Well, what could she have done?”
“Not a lot, really. She wouldn’t have been able to head out with the passengers, as the buses are all fully booked.” Lee’s eyes opened wider. “Unless … ”
“Yes, what is it?”
“There isn’t much in the bay — a coffee shop and a hostel. I think — ” Lee broke off, frowning deeper in concentration. “That’s right, that’s all there is. So she must have gone to one or the other.”
“Thanks, Lee.” Pulling out his iPhone, Jonathon walked to the balcony to Google hostels in the area and felt like a teenager when the search engine gave him the name and phone number of a hostel in the bay. Eureka! Unsure of what to say, he dialed and held his breath. The phone rang and rang, and he was just about to hang up when a breathless voice shouted hello.
Heart to Heart Page 177
