by Bec Botefuhr
“He needs to know Maya, he deserves that.”
“I know, but he will be mad and I am afraid he will be mad at me.”
“Maybe, but it isn’t fair for him to fall in love with a child that isn’t his and it isn’t fair for Nate to not know.”
“I…”
“This might be Nate’s only chance of ever being a father you know, you have to tell him.”
“Ok, ok, I will.”
I go over more details with Sandy then wheel back to my room, trembling. I pull out my phone and text Ryder.
Can we talk. X
Yeah, I am on my way back. Is everything ok?
I don’t know.
Ryder gets in ten minutes later looking a lot better, good he might need it. He looks worried and comes rushing over.
“What is wrong, your message worried me.”
“Sit.”
“What is it, if you are breaking up with me…”
“Ryder, it’s about Jasmine.”
His face pales. “Is she ok, did you see Janelle in here?”
“She is fine, as far as I know. Look, I don’t want to be the one that has to do this, because likely you will hate me for it but I can’t sit back and let you…feel something when it may break your heart down the track.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You really can’t see it? You have looked at Jasmine many times and it never clicked?”
“What?” He snaps.
“She is a dead ringer for Nate.”
His face pales even more and he shakes his head. He yanks out his phone and stares down at a picture, for long, long moments. Then he stands, and begins walking out.
“Ryder!”
He turns. “Did you do this on purpose?”
“What?”
“Tell me, because you couldn’t stand that Janelle and I had something in common. Did you want to hurt me?”
“I know you are going to blame me, and you can go right ahead. I did it because as soon as I saw that picture, I saw Nate and you had a right to know, so does he.”
“She could be mine!”
“Maybe, but she could be his too and you know it.”
“Well, I hope you are fucking happy!” He snarls and then storms out.
“RYDER!”
He doesn’t come back in. I feel a fresh burst of tears stream down my cheeks. I know he is angry and lashing out at me, but he had to know. Nate comes in an hour or so later, to find me curled up and staring out the window.
“Hey.” He whispers.
I turn and look at him, his eyes are glassy.
“Oh Nate.”
He walks in and sits on the bed, taking my hand.
“I never…I don’t know what to think.”
“What happened?”
“Ryder called me, telling me to meet him at Janelle’s. I went in and he confronted her, just like that. She stumbled but admit that the child was mine. One look at her and I knew, so did Ryder. I don’t know why he didn’t see it before.”
“Oh.”
“He stormed off after breaking half the house, I can’t find him.”
I feel panic wash through me. “He is mad at me, I was the one who noticed it.”
“You did the right thing, not just for him but for me. I will likely never have a chance to have a child and she is beautiful, oh Maya she is beautiful.”
I swallow, my throat is dry and scratchy. “She is. I am happy for you Nate.”
“Janelle agreed to let me see her often, I think she was trapping Ryder because she still wants him and it was working, but when it all crashed I think she knew Jasmine needed a father and so she accepted my offer to help her out.”
“Of course she did.” I mutter.
“Oh Maya, he is going to be fine.”
“I know.”
“I have to go, I just wanted to see you, to thank you.”
I nod and he kisses my head, then leaves. I pick up the phone and dial Ryder, he doesn’t answer. I try again and again with no luck. After dinner, I am showered and curled up in bed, still wondering about him when he stumbles in and when I say stumble, I mean stumble. I sigh. Ryder never gets drunk, it just isn’t something he does.
“Ryder.”
He looks over at me, his hair is disheveled and he is grinning stupidly.
“Bet you are proud of yourself now.”
“Stop, don’t come in here drunk and start a fight.”
“Why not? You got what you wanted.” He slurs, leaning against the door frame.
“And what is that?”
“You didn’t want to share me, didn’t want Jasmine to be mine.”
“I didn’t know her, we just got together and I did it because you had a right to know. Did you really want to fall in love with a child that wasn’t yours?”
“Better than falling in love with you!” He roars.
I feel like I have been slapped. “You don’t mean that.”
“You…and your stupid…fucking…control. You say I have an issue, you are the one with an issue. You couldn’t handle Janelle being close to me, couldn’t handle I was in love with a child that might have been mine. Ever think I might not have cared if she was Nate’s, ever think I might have loved her anyway? You…”
“Get out.” I whisper.
“Oh no, you don’t get to kick me out.”
“Get out Ryder, you have made your point.”
“No,”
I press the nurse button and a nurse comes barreling in.
“Please, he is drunk, can you make him leave?”
She stares at Ryder and nods. “I won’t be a second.”
“You can kick me out, but you…this is on you.” He slurs again.
“No Ryder, I was doing it because I love you, not because I was trying to control anything. Nate had just as much right to know.”
“Don’t you fucking tell me anything about Nate or me, you know nothing.”
“Stop, you will regret this tomorrow.”
The nurse comes in with two security guards and they take a very drunk Ryder out. I fall back into my bed, hurting and shocked. I know he is hurt and he just needs time, so time is what I will give. I will wait him out, and hope to God that he is just shooting from the mouth because if I lost him now, my life wouldn’t be worth living.
CHAPTER 11
I leave hospital on Ryder’s birthday. He hasn’t come back to see me but Nate said he has been ok. I have a plan for his birthday and it is a huge risk considering he may not even be speaking to me. I get Nate to take me past the shops on the way home and when we get in, he drops me off and wishes me luck. I walk in and Ryder is on the couch in his boxers, staring at the television.
“Hi.” I whisper.
He doesn’t move. “Hey.”
“Happy Birthday.”
“Cheers.”
“Ryder, can we…”
“Busy.”
Fine we are going to play that, let’s see how well this goes down. I walk past him and into my room. He can be mad all he wants but I am going to snap that right out of him with the one thing that is sure to work on Ryder every time. I suck in a deep breath as I strip out of my clothes. I peer at my battered body in the mirror and gape, my ribs are bruised and ugly. Thank God I picked black. I shower and begin dressing. Ryder doesn’t come in, stewing still.
When I am dressed, I peer at myself in the mirror. Sweet lord, this could go good or bad, if it goes bad I am going to feel awful. I am wearing a thin black teddy with sheer see through material. I am wearing a thong and I have put on some make up and curled my hair so it flows in soft ringlets over my shoulders. I take a deep breathe, and peer out the door. I can still hear the television, I walk out.
“Ryder.” I say, but he doesn’t turn.
“What’s up?”
“I have a present for you, for your birthday.”
“Oh,” He turns and his eyes widen. He gapes, literally gapes. “What are you wearing?”
The look he is
giving me, the look of disgust, tears me down to the bone.
“You know what, don’t worry about it. Don’t stare at me like I am a disease. I made a mistake Ryder, you made one under a week ago and I forgave you. I thought I was doing the right thing, but that doesn’t give you a right to treat me like this and if this is how you treat people I don’t want to be with you! So don’t bother, sit out here and sulk, but don’t you dare make me feel ugly!”
I turn and begin running back to the room.
“Hey, now stop!”
He grips my arm and spins me around, my fists pummel his chest.
“Hey, come on, I don’t think you are ugly. Jesus.”
“Don’t treat me like this Ryder, I won’t put up with it.”
“You hurt me.” He whispers.
“And you hurt me, but I got over it.”
“I am…over it.”
“No, you’re not because you just looked at me like I was a cow in a dress.”
He snorts a laugh.
“Don’t laugh!”
“Baby, I’m sorry. Forgive me? Show me, please.”
“No, I don’t want to.”
He picks me up and carries me to his room, which is a surprise. He deposits me on the bed and takes off his pants, standing fully naked in front of me with an impressive erection.
“I think you look…so damned edible it isn’t funny. Now show me.”
He lays on the bed, and kicks me off with his foot. I stand and take a deep breath.
“I can’t.”
He begins stroking himself and I flush.
“You better do it, or this gets wasted.”
“Ryder, that’s not fair.”
He strokes harder. “Choice is yours.”
I swallow at the picture of his hand sliding up and down his hard length, it’s a beautiful sight. I close my eyes and begin what I had planned, slowly walking towards him and swaying my hips while singing in a very low, sultry voice. He swallows and his eyes are hooded. I am using my best Marilyn Munroe voice, and her best husky purr. I slide my thong down and toss it at him while still singing her famous happy birthday Mr. president. His hand slows, and he removes it form his erection. He is panting and swallowing, giving me such a hungry glare I have to look away. When I slide my teddy off, he hisses. Partly I think from the damage to my body.
“Don’t look at that.” I whisper.
I crawl onto the bed, still singing. I slide onto his lap and press my lips down to his, murmuring the last lyrics against them.
“Well, shit, if that wasn’t the best damned birthday present in the world, strike me down now.” He rasps.
“I am not done.”
I crawl backwards and slide onto my belly, muffling a wince. I take his erection in my hands and stare down at the glistening tip. He growls.
“I am too sore to…have sex yet but, I want to give you something extra special for your birthday. I have never done this, so bear with me.”
I lower my mouth and slide his length into it. He growls and grips the sheets, thrusting his hips upwards. I take as much of him as I can, using my hands to cover the rest. I suck and lick, enjoying the sounds of him hissing and moaning.
“Fuck baby, fuck.”
I suck harder, bobbing my head quickly up and down. I stroke him with my hands, pumping with everything I have. He is growling loudly and cursing to the roof.
“I am going to come, pull out if you don’t swallow.” He roars, gripping my hair.
I keep sucking, wanting to experience how he tastes.
“Jesus Maya, pull out or I am going to come in your mouth.” He bellows.
I suck harder, faster until I feel him spurt hard and fast into my mouth. I swallow as he does, barely tasting him. Only the faintest taste lingers behind. He slumps backwards panting, I rest my head on his belly, stroking up and down.
“I have never had someone swallow, holy fuck have I missed out. You are amazing.”
“Never?” I ask, peering up at him through my lashes.
“Never.”
“Well, I am glad to be the first.”
He sits, and grips me under my arms and drags me up his body.
“What to do with you now?”
“It is your birthday.”
“But you took the time to get all wrapped up, my little sandwich.”
I laugh and shove him. “Stop it.”
“You trust me?”
“You know I do.”
“Then lay back.”
“What?”
“Lay back.”
He stands and grips my legs, fastening them to the bed. Then, he takes my hands and does the same, I gape at him, wondering what he is going to do.
“I know you are too sore to fuck yet, and that’s ok because I can still bring you crazy pleasure.”
“Oh?” I whisper.
“Oh.”
He goes through some drawers and comes back with a blue dildo. I gape, I have never used a dildo in my life.
“Oh, what…”
“It will be good for you, I promise.”
“I have never…”
“I know.”
“How?” I ask, frowning.
“By the way you looked at it.”
“Have you used that…on another woman?”
He gives me a disgusted look. “No, of course not.”
“Oh, ok.”
“Stop asking questions and lay down, grip those ropes.”
I do as he asks and tremble in anticipation. He slides the blue device up and down my sex until I am aching and wet. When he slides the device in, I gasp. It is different to the feeling of having a man inside. It is harder, firmer, a little more uncomfortable. He slides it out, then slowly presses it back in, titling it upwards. I moan. Oh, he found that spot.
“I am going to turn the vibrations on.” He says in a thick, lusty voice.
“O-ok.”
He flicks a button and a vibration pulses through my clit, I gasp and grip the ropes holding my arms apart. Ryder slides the device in and out, in and out until I am on the edge and begging for release, just as I am about to explode, he pulls it out and the feeling dies.
“Ryder!” I cry.
“Just a bit of punishment.”
“Oh, please.”
“You are going to be a good little sandwich today, you owe me.”
I force a glare. “I am not a sub Ryder.”
“No but today, you are going to play along. You are going to beg, you are going come when I say.”
“Ryder.”
“You owe me baby, now be quiet or I will spank you.”
“But.”
He slaps my thigh and I yelp. He slides the device back in and brings me to the edge again, I am cursing and panting when he pulls it out the second time. God the pain, the pleasure, the desperation.
“Tell me, beg me.”
“Please,” I cry. “Ryder please fuck me with that. Let me come.”
“Call me master.”
“Please master.”
“Tell me how badly you want it.”
“God, just do it!” I cry.
“Not good enough.”
He swats my thigh again and my groin clenches painfully. He slides the device in, moving so slowly this time it almost hurts. I am squirming and trying to come before he realizes but he knows me too well and pulls it out again, by now I am furious, desperate and willing to do any damn thing he wants.
“We try again, tell me how badly you want it.”
“I want it, I want it so badly. I want you to fuck me with that, make me come master please, please.”
“Say it again.”
“Make me come master, make me come.”
“Tell me who you belong to.”
“You!” I wail. “You!”
He slides the device back in and this time he goes fast and firm, I pull the restraints so hard they cut into my ankles, I don’t dare pull the wrist restraints. My hands are bandaged but I know I can hurt them if I pull too
hard. I am building higher, faster and I am going to explode so hard.
“Come!” He orders.
I do, with a high pitched scream. My body tenses and shudders violently. He drags every last shudder out, then he pulls the device out and leans down to kiss my leg.
“I can taste you, you are so wet.”
“I…hate…you.”
He grins and unties my legs.
“You do make a good sub.”
“Don’t. Get. Used. To. It.” I pant, biting off each word.
“When there is a will, there is a way. Good girl.”
“I want you Ryder, inside me.”
He looks down at me. “You are too hurt.”
“Please, please, find a way.”
“I don’t know.”
“Ryder, God dammit fuck me.”
He laughs hoarsely and grips my legs, leaving my hands tied. He kneels and brings my hips up to his own, and slowly presses inside me. He isn’t leaning over me, just supporting my pelvis with his hands. He slides out and presses back in with a moan.
“You are so wet.”
“Please, don’t go slow, fuck me hard.”
“Demanding little sandwich.”
I laugh raggedly. “Stop joking, just do it.”
“Your wish is my command.”
He drives into me and I bellow, he slides out and then slams back in, making sure to only put pressure on my hips. His hands dig into my bottom as he raises it up to meet each thrust. He grinds in and out, in and out until I am screaming so loudly my voice hurts. I clench around him and come so hard, I see little sparkly things. He follows behind with a roar. He slumps down beside me a minute later, pulling me into his arms.
“Well happy birthday to me.” He murmurs.
“I should say so.”
“You are insatiable.”
“Coming from you.” I chuckle.
He laughs and we lay in silence a while.
“Ryder?”
“Yeah?”
“Why were you so upset Jasmine wasn’t yours?”
“I don’t know. I guess part of me, the bigger part feels like she was my only chance to have children.”
I roll and lean on my elbow, looking down at him.
“What about me?”
He blinks, as though the thought never crossed his mind.
“Well, you seem so far off sometimes. Like you aren’t sure what you want, sometimes I think you aren’t as serious as I am plus it might be years until you want kids, I am nearly thirty.”
