by Cindy Kirk
“When you get out of residency and fellowship and join a practice, you have to build your patient base.” A shadow passed over his face. “But Caro was home every day with two little ones. I should have understood she needed more support.”
“How old were the girls when their mother died?” she asked after several heartbeats of silence.
“Three. They were barely in preschool.” Tim sat upright so abruptly Cassidy gave a yelp of surprise.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed but remained seated. His chest rose and fell as he visibly fought for composure.
“Tim,” she said softly.
When he gazed at her, she clasped his hand in hers. “Lie back down. Just for a little longer. Please.”
He closed his eyes for a brief second then settled back beside her.
“Tell me what has you so tied in knots.” She kept her voice low and soothing and tentatively began to stroke his arm.
Though he didn’t utter a word, pain filled the stillness.
“Or don’t tell me. That’s okay, too.”
Cassidy understood all too well the desire to hold painful memories close. She respected a person’s right to privacy. But she also knew how much better she’d felt earlier after sharing a glimpse of her childhood pain with him.
“We’d been arguing a lot those last couple of months.” He blew out a breath. “Nothing we couldn’t have gotten through. We were tired. Ellyn had been fighting an ear infection and wasn’t sleeping well. Which meant we weren’t getting much, either.”
Cassidy continued to stroke his arm.
“The world was raining babies and the practice was still a doctor short. We were all putting in long hours.” He met Cassidy’s gaze. “I told Caro we’d hire a nanny, but she didn’t want a stranger in the house. She wanted me. I was their father.”
“What about her mother? Or yours?”
“Caro’s mother lived out of state and mine was still teaching full-time.” Tim’s expression grew distant and she could see he was looking back. “That night, I was running late. One of my pregnant patients had showed up in crisis right as I was ready to leave.”
Cassidy nodded encouragingly and he continued.
“On the way home I picked up a dozen roses. An apology for being late.”
“Were roses Caro’s favorite?”
He didn’t respond and Cassidy wondered if he’d heard her.
“The instant I stepped into the house, I remembered the cupcakes. The twins had a preschool party the next day and I was supposed to stop at the bakery on my way home. The one thing she’d asked of me and I’d forgotten.”
“At least you brought flowers.” Cassidy kept her tone light.
“Caro tossed them to the floor. Ellyn was screaming at the top of her lungs. Esther was drawing on herself with magic markers.” Tim briefly closed his eyes.
Cassidy could see the scene quite clearly. She shuddered.
“I offered to go back and get the cupcakes, but Caro said she’d do it. Since she had to do everything else herself, why should this be any different?” Emotion made his voice heavy and thick.
Cassidy’s heart ached for him. For Caro. For the little girls without a mother.
“Her car was hit two blocks from the house.” He took a deep breath,then let it out slowly. “It was my fault.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
His lips curved up in a humorless smile. “If I’d done the one thing she’d asked of me, Caro would be alive today.”
“Your wife died because some drunk ran a traffic light, not because of forgotten cupcakes.”
His gaze slid over her face, softened. “You’re a good friend, Cassidy.”
“The very best.”
The lines of tension around his mouth eased at her impudent tone. He shook his head and chuckled. “What am I going to do with you?”
Love me. The words popped unbidden into her head and Cassidy could only be glad she hadn’t spoken them aloud.
Time to put their relationship back where it belonged.
She slipped her hand downward and wrapped her fingers around the length of him. “I may have a suggestion or two.”
As she’d hoped, desire erupted in his gaze, chasing away the shadows. “Again?”
In answer she rolled on top of him, watched his eyes darken as her breasts swung temptingly close to his mouth. She smiled down at him. “So, tell me, Doctor, are you up for a little game of ‘Ride ’Em Cowboy’?”
Chapter Nine
They made love three times that night. Tim didn’t leave Cassidy’s bed until nearly dawn. By the time he finally arrived home, all he wanted was a long nap.
But rest had to wait until he’d picked up his daughters. He’d barely hopped out of the shower and pulled on clean clothes to do just that when the hospital called. After notifying his parents, he was off and running.
By the time he got his patient stabilized, it was late afternoon.
“Lindsey told me you were out with that woman again.” Suzanne jumped him the second he stepped into the foyer of his parents’ home.
No need to ask who his mom meant, Tim thought.
Exhausted, the last thing Tim wanted to do was spar with his mother over Cassidy. He rubbed the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stop the headache threatening to form. “If you’ve spoken with Lindsey, then you know Cassidy was already eating with them when I showed up to order a pizza.”
Suzanne sniffed. “I think there is something suspicious about her being there at the same time as you.”
Tim gave a humorless laugh. He was weary down to his very core. All he wanted was to pick up his daughters, go home and relax on the sofa while they played with their dolls. “Wow. Cass must be psychic, considering I only decided at the last minute to go there myself.”
“Women like her have their ways,” Suzanne insisted.
“Women like her?” Tim’s tone turned cool but his mother didn’t appear to notice.
“Out to snare themselves a doctor.” His mother gave an exasperated huff as if she couldn’t believe he was being so obtuse. “You’d be quite a coup. It’s rare for a hairdresser to snag a rich physician husband.”
“Cassidy and I are friends.” He emphasized the word, met his mother’s gaze squarely. “She’s fun. I enjoy her company.”
If his mom was flustered by his unwavering stare, it didn’t show.
“She’s not like Jayne.” Suzanne nodded decisively as if that was a major point.
“I fail to see the relevance of that comment.”
A soft mew at his feet had him looking down. Runt, er, Domino, fixed his golden eyes on Tim and mewed a second time. Heaving a resigned breath, he scooped the cat into his arms, where it began to purr.
His mother cast a disapproving glance at the cat before refocusing on her son. “Jayne would be a much better mother for the girls.”
Tim scratched the cat behind the ears and once again failed to see the point. “I’m not looking for a wife or a mother for my children. We do just fine on our own.”
“You’re a good father,” Suzanne acknowledged. “Your dad and I are proud of how you’ve made your own way since Caro died. But surely you don’t plan to be single forever.”
Apparently done with being petted, Domino bit him. Tim jerked his hand back as the animal sprang and landed on the floor with a solid thud.
“I told your father we should get rid of him.” His mother glared at the cat that had circled Tim’s feet and now sat washing himself.
“He didn’t break the skin—” Tim began but Suzanne waved him silent.
“You need a wife, Timothy. And my granddaughters need a mother.”
“You know my schedule. It’s obscene. How could I be a good husband to any woman?”
“I’m not saying it can’t be done.” But as far as Tim was concerned, his partner was the exception to the rule. Travis never seemed stressed. The guy sailed through life with a smile on his lips. “I’m saying I can’t do it. My focus needs to be Esther and Ellyn.”
“Life can be lonely without a spouse at your side.” Suzanne’s voice softened. “I don’t know what I’d do without your father.”
“It can be lonely,” Tim admitted. “Once the twins are in college, I’ll reconsider.”
“If you have to get your physical needs met, I suppose Cassidy Kaye would be appropriate.” His mother’s hand fluttered in the air. “Just be careful, son. Make sure there are no unwanted consequences.”
Tim was stunned speechless. Had his mother really, with one careless remark and a dismissive wave, designated Cassidy—a smart, successful businesswoman—as a booty call?
“It’s not like that between u—”
Esther and Ellyn rushed into the room and the moment was lost. But Tim vowed, the next time he had his mother alone, he was going to set her straight.
* * *
Cassidy tried to tell herself she hadn’t really expected Tim to come when she’d invited him to the small open house celebrating five years in business. Still, as she gazed around the festively decorated salon, it felt as if everyone had someone. Everyone but her.
“You did this up right,” her friend Hailey Ferris exclaimed, snagging a spring roll from a platter and popping it into her mouth.
“Congratulations.” Hailey’s husband, Winn, a successful business executive, leaned forward to brush a chaste kiss across her cheek.
“Thanks for coming.” Cassidy knew both their schedules had been jam-packed today.
The two of them, newlyweds really, looked so happy together. Cassidy was thrilled Hailey, one of her best friends, had found a man who complemented her so fully.
Tim and I are good together. Cassidy shoved the thought aside. Wishing for something more than sex was a dead-end street.
“How is Tim?” Hailey asked slyly, gazing up at Cassidy through lowered lashes.
For a second Cassidy feared she’d spoken aloud. After all, up to this point Tim Duggan’s name hadn’t been mentioned. And why should it?
Cassidy feigned innocence. “Tim?”
Winn looked amused.
Hailey punched Cassidy’s shoulder. “Don’t play coy with me, missy. It doesn’t suit you. I heard all about Friday night.”
For just an instant, for one brief moment in time, Cassidy froze. Had someone seen Tim sneaking from her place in the early-morning hours? Was the news that he’d spent the night with her fueling the Jackson Hole gossip mill?
What if it is? Cassidy thought. What if it is? She and Tim were both consenting adults. They’d done nothing wrong. Although a few of their, ah, more adventurous moves might possibly be illegal in some states.
“Cat got your tongue?”
“That’s a ridiculous expression.” Cassidy softened the words with a smile. “My Friday involved running into Zach and Lindsey Taylor at Perfect Pizza. Tim stopped by the table and joined us for a few minutes.”
Hailey’s expression fell. “That’s all?”
“The cream-cheese-and-pineapple special was de-lish,” Cassidy told her.
“We’ll have to check it out.” Winn squeezed his wife’s arm. “Cameron’s practice will be over in ten minutes.”
Cameron was Winn’s son by a previous relationship. After the boy’s mother died, Winn had received full custody.
“We’ll do lunch next week and you can tell me all about the...pizza.” Hailey gave Cassidy a quick hug. “Mega congrats on five years in business.”
To Cassidy’s surprise, Winn also hugged her. “You’ve got a great business here.”
Coming from Winn, a man not known for saying nice things about other entrepreneurs, the compliment meant a lot.
They’d barely disappeared out the door when Cassidy heard a voice she hadn’t expected to hear today.
“He’s right, you know. You’ve grown this business from a one-woman shop to a Jackson Hole institution. All in five years.”
Cassidy turned and saw Jayne Connors take a dainty sip of champagne. For a split second she wondered what the librarian was doing at her party. Until she remembered that Jayne was a customer.
“Thank you, Jayne.”
While Cassidy wore black leggings, red heels and a psychedelic-print shirt that included every color except red and black, Jayne had draped a peach cashmere sweater over a sleeveless dove-gray linen dress.
Excruciatingly boring, but perfect for a doctor’s wife.
A knife twisted in Cassidy’s heart but she sidestepped the blood and forced a smile to her lips. “I’m happy you could make it.”
Jayne took another sip from the plastic flute. “I wouldn’t have missed it. This is a momentous occasion.”
For one brief second Cassidy wondered if the librarian was being sarcastic, but a quick glance into her blue-green eyes reflected only sincerity.
“It takes a special person to start a business from scratch and build it,” Jayne continued. “My mother has always wanted to open a small gift store. She says she hasn’t done it yet because the time isn’t right. That isn’t the real reason.”
Cassidy watched Jayne take another drink of champagne, a healthy one this time.
“What is the reason?” Cassidy asked when Jayne didn’t elaborate.
“Fear.”
The word hung in the air.
“I believe it’s what keeps most of us from going after what we really want.” Jayne’s gaze met Cassidy’s. “Don’t you agree?”
Cassidy sensed there was a point to the question, though she wasn’t sure what it could be. “I suppose.”
“You know I’m right.” Jayne took an open bottle of champagne from the table and refilled her empty glass. “Unfortunately, I seem to have inherited the coward gene from my mother.”
Jayne’s tone was surprisingly melancholy and when the woman chugged half a glass of the bubbly in one gulp, Cassidy wondered how many glasses she’d already downed.
“I got the impression you enjoyed your position at the high school.” In fact, Cassidy was sure of it. At the last task force meeting, Jayne had said she’d found her true calling in the education arena.
Surprise skittered across Jayne’s face. “I love my job. There’s nothing I’d rather do.”
Now Cassidy was confused. “You said fear is keeping you from going after what you want.”
“You know what I want.” Jayne pointed a finger at her, chuckled.
Too much champagne. She was cutting Jayne off, Cassidy decided, her brow furrowing at the nonsensical reply. And making sure the librarian didn’t drive home.
Cassidy smiled at Jayne. “I don’t have a clue what you want.”
“Not what I want.” Jayne’s gaze met Cassidy’s. “Who I want.”
* * *
Cassidy found herself thinking about that “who” several weeks later as she held the pregnancy test in her trembling hand.
Her period had always been regular. Until recently. Fear slithered up her spine, but she told herself—as she had for the past week—that this blip had to be due to stress. The Independence Day festivities had been obscene, business at the salon was ridiculous and her bridal business had spiked into the crazy range.
Despite the reassuring self-talk, the fingers holding the stick shook like an alcoholic with D.T.’s. Stress, she repeated to herself. You’re late because of stress. What else could it be? While she wasn’t on the pill, and she and Tim had used condoms each and every time.
She couldn’t be pregnant.
S
he simply couldn’t be pregnant.
When she began to feel light-headed from her heart slamming against her rib cage, Cassidy made herself look at the stick she held. Then she glanced at the box propped up on the vanity counter for easy reference.
Positive.
Tears filled her eyes. Fighting the nausea rising like a tsunami inside her, Cassidy jerked to her feet.
She would go for a run. She would eat a pint of cookie-dough ice cream. She would deal.
All her life she’d handled whatever curveballs the often unkind world had thrown at her. Granted, this was a bit more of a challenge than having the wrong salon chair delivered two times in a row, but nothing she couldn’t handle.
As she slipped out the door and headed down the steps, Cassidy reassured herself she would handle this catastrophe.
She only wished she knew how...
* * *
Sitting in the quiet of the doctors’ lounge, Tim sipped his coffee and stared at his phone. He was surprised to see the text from Cassidy. In the weeks since he’d spent the night, she hadn’t contacted him. Not once.
Neither had he contacted her. He’d wanted to see her again. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d enjoyed himself so much. And while the sex had been off the charts, it had been merely the cherry atop a totally enjoyable evening.
Not since before Caro died had Tim shared his deepest thoughts and feelings with another human being. When he’d left Cassidy’s place that morning, he’d had every intention of calling her again. Not because of the sex—okay, that was definitely part of it—but also because of their deepening friendship.
His conversation with his mother, though, had unintended consequences. Cassidy wasn’t a booty call. Yet, wasn’t sleeping with her when he had no intention of pursuing a relationship treating her like she was one?
Not that Cassidy had given any indication she expected more. But she deserved better.
Tim stared at his phone. Reread the message.
We need to talk. Tonight. Five p.m. Elk Refuge.
“Problem?”
Tim jerked his attention from the phone.
Travis stared quizzically, a jelly donut in one hand, a cup of coffee in the other. He gestured to Tim’s phone with the hand holding the donut. “Something wrong?”
