by Cindy Kirk
A look of sadness filled Lindsey’s eyes. Then she fixed those eyes, so much like her brother’s, on Cassidy. “What about you? How do you and your mom get along?”
“We haven’t spoken in years.” Cassidy kept her tone light. “Unless you count all the times she’s called to ask for money to bail her out of jail.”
Lindsey winced. “Ouch.”
“I used to give it to her,” Cassidy admitted. “But I made it clear the last time that the well has dried up.”
“Were you two close...when you were growing up?”
Cassidy wished she’d never gone shopping with Lindsey. Her other friends, Hailey and Daffodil, knew the topic of her mother and her less-than-happy childhood were off-limits. But Lindsey didn’t have a clue. She was simply making conversation as they attempted to get to know each other better.
“Never.” Cassidy kept all emotion from her voice. “If you look up bad mother in the dictionary, her picture would be front and center.”
Lindsey giggled then clapped a hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry. I was just thinking you’d find my mom’s picture under bossy mother.”
Cassidy couldn’t help but smile. There was really so much to like about Lindsey.
“What I hate about having such a mother is that I have no compass.” Cassidy picked up an infant dress in bright pink and purple, the fabric as soft as a caress. She resisted a sudden urge to rub it against her cheek. “I have no clue if I’ll be a good mother. The thought of being a parent, being responsible for an innocent little human being, scares me to death.”
The fingers holding the dress began to tremble. Cassidy knew how to take care of herself, how to protect herself. But taking care of someone else, especially one so small, had a knot forming in the pit of her stomach. Babies didn’t come with road maps. What if she kept the child only to screw it up?
“That’s why it’s good when there are two parents in the home.” Lindsey shot her a pointed glance. “Tim is a great dad.”
Something in Lindsey’s eyes had Cassidy putting the dress back on the rack and feigning nonchalance. “He is a good dad to the girls.”
“And he’ll be a good dad to your baby.” Lindsey’s tone was matter-of-fact as she turned to a display of cloth diapers.
It took a second for the woman’s words to penetrate. Cassidy moved to her side. “What did you say?”
“You heard me.” Lindsey waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t deny it. The signs are all there.”
Of course, Cassidy thought with a little bitterness, the way Tim had been hovering around her the past few weeks. What other reason could there be for his sudden interest in her?
“Only pregnant women frequent the john as much as you and me.” Lindsey’s lips twisted in a wry smile. “And I saw you yawning the other night at the Lassiters’ party. It was barely eight o’clock.”
Horror rippled through Cassidy. She hadn’t realized she’d been so obvious. If Lindsey had noticed, someone else may have made the connection, as well. “Who else knows?”
“No one,” Lindsey set down the diaper. “I haven’t even mentioned my suspicions to Zach. Or Tim.”
“What secrets are you holding back from me, little sister?”
The masculine voice from behind had the two women jumping.
“It’s not me who has secrets, dear brother.” Lindsey lifted a brow. “Have you told Mom she’s going to be a grandmother again?”
Tim’s smile disappeared. His gaze shifted from his sister to Cassidy then back to his sister. “I was there the other night when you told her you and Zach were pregnant. Remember?”
“I’m not talking about me and Zach.” Her gaze slanted to Cassidy, who stood frozen in place.
Cassidy looked from Lindsey to Tim. She realized Tim must have been who Lindsey had texted earlier. How else would he have known where to find them?
“I want to know why I had to guess.” Lindsey pointed a finger at her brother. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be a daddy again?”
Cassidy pulled herself from her stupor. “Just like you and Zach, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester.”
“Okay, okay, I get it.” A look of understanding filled Lindsey’s eyes. “Zach and I celebrated with sparkling grape juice when I hit twelve weeks.”
“It won’t be long before I hit that mark,” Cassidy heard herself admit.
“Then it’ll be your and Tim’s turn to celebrate.”
Cassidy shook her head. “I hardly think an unplanned pregnancy is a cause for celebration.”
Lindsey squeezed her hand. “Welcoming a new life into the world is always a reason to celebrate.”
“I just realized,” Tim said, “that our babies will be born close to the same time. They’ll grow up together.”
“That will be so cool.” Lindsey smiled at Cassidy.
To Cassidy, it all sounded so...so normal. But she didn’t do normal. Didn’t know what normal looked like. And, regardless of Lindsey’s reassuring words, she wasn’t confident she was wired for motherhood.
She considered mentioning that she might give the child up for adoption, but knew that would only prolong this conversation.
“I thought you were delivering a baby,” Cassidy asked Tim, desperate to change the subject. “At least that’s what Lindsey said.”
“This one just popped out.” Tim appeared oblivious to the edge in her tone. “If only all deliveries could be so quick and easy.”
Cassidy didn’t expect him to call regularly or keep her informed of his day-to-day activities. The fact that she hadn’t heard from him in several days was perfectly fine with her.
For her, it had been business as usual. She’d worked in the salon, had a task force meeting and last evening attended a fund-raiser at the Spring Gulch Country Club.
The fact that she’d kept glancing around the ballroom for a certain someone made her angry. The highlight of the evening was when she ran into Keenan McGregor, a friend from the old neighborhood. He’d been there with his wife, Mitzi, a prominent orthopedic surgeon in Jackson Hole.
Keenan had been alone when she bumped into him and they’d spent a considerable amount of time talking. When he’d mentioned he’d heard she’d been dating Tim, she’d found herself spilling her guts to the man she loved like a brother.
He’d listened as she explained all the reasons she wasn’t mother material. Then he’d hugged her tight and told her he believed she could be whatever she set her mind to be.
Cassidy wanted to believe him. Up to this point, she’d always trusted Keenan’s judgment. But this situation was different. The stakes were so much higher...
* * *
When Tim asked Cassidy to spend Sunday with him and the girls, she hesitated. She didn’t want him to think he could just snap his fingers and she’d be available. But she’d always been a realist. When the pregnancy could no longer be hidden and it came out that Tim was the father, there would be lots of talk.
He was a prominent physician in Jackson Hole. She was a successful businesswoman.
If they were regularly seen together prior to the pregnancy news hitting the gossip mill, it would look as if they’d had some sort of relationship, which would go a long way toward quieting the talk. Not that Cassidy cared about wagging tongues, but she didn’t want the baby or the twins or Tim to be hurt by careless gossip.
She glanced at the clock on the wall. Three in the afternoon. Hardly the whole day, but Tim and the girls had attended Sunday services then had lunch at his parents’. She’d been invited, but had declined.
Glancing down, Cassidy inspected her appearance. The lime-green biker shorts and black graphic tee seemed appropriate for an afternoon bike ride at Yellowstone.
The love of outdoor activities was one thing she and Tim had in common. Since she
loved heels and clothes, she knew he’d been surprised by her love of biking, hiking and everything outdoors.
Physical activity had always been a good stress reliever for her. Not to mention, a woman didn’t get taut abs and a stellar behind from sitting around.
The knock propelled Cassidy to her feet. As she covered the last few feet to the door, she realized she was already smiling. She brought the smile under control and opened the door.
“Welcome, Duggan family.” She made a sweeping bow which sent the girls into giggles.
“You look lovely.” Tim stepped forward. For a second she thought he was going to kiss her. Then, as if he felt two pairs of curious eyes on him, he settled for squeezing her shoulder.
“Let me grab my keys and—”
A buzzer sounded from his pocket and the girls groaned.
Cassidy cocked her head and stared at them. “It’s just a phone call.”
“It’s the hospital,” Esther informed her.
Ellyn expelled a heavy sigh. “Someone is having a baby.”
Tim slipped the phone from his pocket and answered. “Dr. Duggan.”
Cassidy and the girls waited during the question-and-answer session. Something was obviously wrong. She could see it in the sudden tense set of Tim’s shoulders and the lines of worry edging his brow.
“I’ll be there right away. Get her prepped.” After answering several more questions, Tim ended the call and slipped the phone back into his pocket.
“I’m afraid I have to head to the hospital.” His apologetic gaze met Cassidy’s. “I have a patient who needs immediate surgery.”
“Don’t go, Daddy.” Esther grabbed his arm. “Not today. We’re going to ride our bikes.”
Tim’s expression softened when he saw the distress on his daughter’s face.
He squatted down in front of the two girls, taking their hands. “I’m as disappointed as both of you. But I have no choice. This woman needs me.”
“Okay, Daddy,” Ellyn said.
Esther grudgingly nodded.
Rising to his feet, he turned to Cassidy. “I’m sorry about this.”
She gave an exaggerated sigh. “Some guys will do anything to avoid a bike ride.”
That brought a smile to his gorgeous mouth.
“What about us?” Esther inched closer to Cassidy.
Tim pulled out the phone he’d just pocketed. “I’ll see if Aunt Lindsey can watch you.”
Cassidy put a hand on his arm. “They can stay here with me, if that’s okay with you.”
She wasn’t sure what made her offer. After all, if they left she’d have the whole afternoon to herself. She could run errands, take a nap or do half a dozen other things she hadn’t had time to do this week. Instead she’d willingly offered to watch two seven-year-olds? Had she lost her mind?
Tim appeared oddly touched by the offer. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“Not at all,” Cassidy said and was rewarded by squeals of delight. “We’ll have fun.”
Chapter Thirteen
It was nearly seven by the time Tim returned to Cassidy’s apartment. He was bone weary but satisfied with his patient’s postsurgical condition.
As he climbed the stairs to her door, he realized that he hadn’t given a single thought to the girls’ welfare. Despite the sudden look of panic in Cassidy’s eyes when she’d said goodbye, he knew she was up to the challenge.
He paused outside the door, listening to the giggles and laughter coming from inside the small apartment. He’d called when he was leaving the hospital to let Cassidy know he was on his way.
To his surprise, she’d sounded cheery and told him there was no need to rush. She and the girls were busy preparing dinner.
He hadn’t quite known what to make of her buoyant mood. Caro had been into routines and schedules. Unexpected events had always thrown her into a bad mood. Because the life of an OB was filled with unexpected events, those bad moods had been frequent occurrences. Especially once he joined a practice where the doctors delivered their own babies.
Though Tim fully agreed with the philosophy of the practice, Caro had been pushing him to find a group where he would only be called to deliver when he was the doctor on call.
Though the disruption to their family life had caused problems in his marriage, Tim had been unwilling to even consider making a change. Looking back, he couldn’t believe he’d been so hardheaded.
He’d known Caro’s personality when he married her. She craved routine. Her suggestion was a compromise. Yet, he’d been unwilling to budge, to meet her halfway.
Shame flooded him.
Pushing the guilt and memories aside, he knocked.
“Come in,” he heard Cassidy call. “It’s unlocked.”
Only in Jackson Hole, Tim thought, twisting the knob and pushing the door open. The second he stepped inside, the delicious scent of spiced meat assailed his nostrils. It appeared Cassidy was no longer bothered by certain smells.
“Daddy, Daddy.” Esther came running and flung her arms around him. “We made taco pizza for dinner.”
“And donut kebabs.” Ellyn was, as usual, one step behind her sister.
“Taco pizza and donut kebabs,” Tim repeated, but his mind wasn’t on the food. It was on the streaks of bright color running through his daughters’ light brown hair. “Your hair looks...colorful.”
Hardly a precise word, but he was having difficulty coming up with better as he stared at the strands of purple and pink in Esther’s hair and red and bright blue in Ellyn’s.
“It’s temporary,” Cassidy said as she walked into the room. “Washes out.”
Esther puffed with pride and tossed her head, sending the colorful strands back and forth.
“We had a color party.” Ellyn stuck out her hand and her nails shimmered in the light all gold and silver. “Cassidy painted our nails and toes with glitter polish.”
“I can see that. Very pretty.” It was, Tim realized. Different, but pretty. What he really liked seeing were their wide smiles and bubbling enthusiasm.
Sometimes it seemed as if they were too serious for seven-year-olds. Then again, what did he know about such things?
All he knew was they’d obviously had a good day.
“Did I hear something about food?” He glanced at Cassidy and noticed her hair, which had been loosely flowing to her shoulder and was now in a rather odd-looking braid. “Your hair looks different, too.”
Even as she smiled, her eyes flashed a warning. “After our color party I taught the girls how to braid and they practiced on my hair. I think they did an excellent job.”
“Very nice.” He gave the tail a tug and she yelped.
Tim smiled and glanced at the twins. “Your Aunt Lindsey used to make that sound whenever I pulled on her tail.”
The girls giggled.
“Esi.” Cassidy focused her attention on Esther. “How about you put place mats on the table? They’re in the cupboard over there.”
She pointed to a lower cupboard before turning her attention to Ellyn. “Elle, you know where the silverware is. What do you think we’ll need for our food? A fork, for sure.”
Ellyn thought for a second. “Maybe a knife?”
Cassidy appeared to consider. “Good call.”
The girls hurried off to do their assigned tasks as Tim stared in amazement. He raised a brow. “Esi? Elle?”
Her lips quirked. “Every kid should have a nickname. Don’t you agree, Doogie?”
He winced. Doogie Howser, M.D. had been a television series in syndication when he’d been younger. The main character was a young, geeky genius doctor. With the last name of Duggan, was it any wonder he’d been dubbed Doogie in middle school?
Tim tried to think back, to recall if Cas
sidy had ever had a nickname. “What was yours?”
A shadow passed over her pretty features and the light in her eyes dimmed. He wished he’d never asked.
“None I care to remember.”
“I appreciate you watching the girls,” he said.
“We had fun.”
He inclined his head. “You sound surprised.”
“I’m not good with kids.”
“Who says?”
She lifted a shoulder then let it drop. “I never know what to say or the right thing to do.”
More giggles came from the kitchen. “Sounds to me as if you did just fine. I’m sorry I had to leave and spoil our plans.”
She looked at him, clearly puzzled. “It wasn’t your fault. That woman needed you.”
“Still—”
Her touch on his arm stopped the protest.
“Seriously,” she said. “It’s okay.”
He raked a hand through his hair, gave a casual shrug. “Caro used to hate it when I was called away.”
“She had two toddlers. She was probably just super stressed. I’m going to be stressed with just one. I’ll be like, hey, what do I do now?” She gave a self-conscious little laugh, wishing she’d kept her mouth shut. “Keenan says I’ll do just fine.”
“Keenan McGregor?” Tim stilled. “You told him about the baby?”
Cassidy had made such a big deal of swearing him to silence and, as far as he knew, the only other one who knew she was pregnant was Lindsey, who’d been sworn to secrecy.
“Keenan and I, we go way back.”
Tim remembered Keenan from high school. Like Cassidy, he and his sister, Betsy, had grown up in what Tim’s mother referred to as the “bad” area of Jackson. He recalled seeing Cassidy at Keenan’s wedding last year. “When did you run into him?”
“At a party at the Spring Gulch Country Club Friday night,” she said. “I was feeling stressed and when he asked what was wrong, I unloaded. Just like old times.”
While he was glad she had a friend to talk with, Tim felt an irrational surge of jealousy that she’d shared her thoughts and fears with another man.
