by Cindy Kirk
Cassidy reached up and pulled a leaf from a low-hanging branch, twisting it between her fingers.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said.
When she lifted her gaze, she saw the concern in those beautiful hazel eyes. Never had she wished so much that things could be different. That he could love her even a fraction as much as she loved him.
Love?
Cassidy could no longer deny the truth, at least to herself. Which made what she was about to say even more difficult. “I can’t marry you, Tim.”
“What?” A stunned look of disbelief filled his eyes. “Why not?”
“While your solution to our problem is logical—” God, she hated referring to the bun as a problem “—the truth is I won’t marry anyone—not even you—because it’s the convenient or responsible thing to do.”
His brows slammed together. “I don’t understand.”
“I want the fairy tale. I want love.” She gave an embarrassed laugh. “It may be stupid, but there you go. And this is probably as good of a time as any to—”
“Cassidy,” he began, but having finally gathered her courage to say what must be said, she plunged ahead.
“While I know you think it’s best for us to do all these things together and spend lots of time in each other’s company, for right now I need you to back off.”
His jaw tightened, his eyes now hooded and unreadable. “Are you saying you don’t want anything more to do with me?”
“I’m saying, well, yes, I guess that is what I’m saying.”
When heat flashed in his eyes and he opened his mouth, she continued on without giving him a chance to speak.
“For now,” she emphasized. “Just until I can catch my breath and come to grips with everything that has happened.” Just until I can find a way to stop loving you so much. “You’re the bun’s baby daddy. You’ll always be a part of our life.”
“Baby daddy.” Tim puckered his lips as if the words were sour on his tongue. “I’ll give you space, if that’s what you need. But you and I both know I’m more to you than simply a baby daddy.”
Without another word, he turned and strode out of the park, not once looking back.
Cassidy glanced down at the leaf now crumpled between her fingers. She opened her hand wide and watched as the breeze swept the dried and broken pieces to the ground.
* * *
Until this past week, if any man or woman had told Tim they didn’t want to see him again, he’d have respected their wishes. Not this time. He feared if he did as Cassidy asked, she’d slip away from him. The thought of that was intolerable.
“Doesn’t Daddy look pretty, Grandpa?” Esther commented as he stood with his daughters on the front porch of his parents’ home while his mother dealt with an inside emergency brought on by that “blasted cat.” Tim assumed that meant Domino had gotten into trouble...again.
“He does look pretty, sweetheart.” Steve gave his son a wink. “Where are you going all spiffed up?”
The screen door of the house burst open before Tim could answer and his mother emerged, looking harried but triumphant.
“He’ll never find where I hid the kitty treats.” A look of smug satisfaction filled her eyes.
“Domino always finds them,” Esther demurred.
“Always,” Ellyn agreed from her spot on the porch swing.
“Not this time.” Suzanne gave a decisive nod of her head then appeared to switch gears as her gaze settled on her son. “My, don’t you look handsome, Timothy. I didn’t realize you had plans for the evening.”
“He’s going to a wedding,” Esther told her grandmother. “That’s why he’s wearing a suit.”
“And a tie,” Ellyn added.
Tim wondered if his mother would have been more or less insistent about watching the girls if she’d known he was going out. He’d initially considered turning down her plea to take care of the twins over the weekend because he didn’t have any plans.
But when he’d started to say no, there’d been a flicker of something in her eyes. And the way she kept assuring him that his daughters would be safe in her care troubled him.
The last thing he wanted was for her to think he didn’t trust her. After all, what had happened to Esther last weekend had been simply an accident.
“Are you going out with...Cassidy?” Suzanne asked.
Both sets of seven-year-old eyes swung to him at the sound of the familiar name. The twins had been asking him all week when they were going to see her again and it was becoming increasingly hard to come up with plausible excuses for her absence.
“Actually,” Tim forced a smile, “Cassidy is working this evening.”
Suzanne’s brows drew together. “I don’t recall anyone we know getting married. Do you, Steve?”
“You’re the one who keeps track of such things,” her husband told her. “Not me. I just go where I’m told.”
“Who’s the happy couple?” his mother pressed.
For a second, Tim went blank. Then he recalled the names. “Julie Krupicka and Dylan Lovell.”
“The names don’t sound familiar.” His mother’s face suddenly brightened. “Does Jayne know them? Will she be there?”
“No idea.” Tim bent over and gave Esther a hug. Ellyn came running to get hers, too.
“We talked to Cassidy last night,” Esther told her grandmother.
“You did?” Suzanne’s smile froze. “How is she?”
“She misses us,” Esther said.
“She’s been super-duper busy,” Ellyn informed her grandmother and her twin nodded.
The way Tim saw it, phoning Cassidy once a day to make sure all was well with her still constituted keeping his distance. When he’d placed the first call, the day after she’d asked him to back off, he’d worried she might not answer. But she had. He’d deliberately kept the conversation light and easy.
Last night, the girls had been in the room and insisted on speaking with her. She’d chatted with each of them longer than she had with him.
When she mentioned in passing she’d be busy working a wedding all day today, Tim considered that his invitation. Though he didn’t know Julie or Dylan, he’d done a little research and discovered where the reception was being held.
Baby daddy.
The words continued to twist his gut.
Though he was the father of Cassidy’s child, there was so much more between them. Tonight, he would do his darndest to make her see that this baby daddy was someone she couldn’t live without.
* * *
In Cassidy’s estimation, as far as brides went, Julie Krupicka was a peach, a sweet young woman not easily rattled. Like when she stepped on her train and put a gaping hole in it shortly before her walk down the aisle, she only rolled her eyes and asked if anyone had tape.
When she’d urged Cassidy and Daffodil to stay for the reception, the two women found it difficult to refuse her anything. Cassidy knew her assistant was feeling a bit blue this evening—family issues was all she’d say—and she hoped the reception would cheer Daffy up.
Right now, the petite blonde stood beside the punch bowl looking pretty in pink while visiting with a couple of clients. Cassidy had just nabbed a club soda when Dr. Noah Anson sauntered over.
Noah, a neurosurgeon, was relatively new in Jackson Hole. Thanks to the magic of her scissors, his jet-black hair looked über smash. Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome had informed her after his first cut all those months ago that, despite her fabulous press, he’d been hesitant to get his hair cut at a place called Clippety Do Dah. Now he refused to go anywhere else.
“Dance with me?” Noah asked with an easy smile.
The band launched into a slow number and Cassidy placed her drink on a nearby table. “Only if you let me lead.”
Noah laughed and whisked her onto the hardwood. Cassidy had hoped being busy would keep her mind off Tim. It hadn’t worked yet, but the night was still young.
As she’d made it clear she’d be tied up all evening, tonight there would be no phone call, no teasing voice on the other end of the line asking about her day.
She should have put the kibosh on the calls when they started. But she’d been worried Esther may have had a setback. She wasn’t sure what her excuse was for answering every other day this week.
“Are you and Tim still dating?”
Pulling herself from her fog, Cassidy blinked. “I’m sorry. What did you ask?”
“I asked if you and Tim Duggan are together.”
Cassidy hesitated.
“We are” came a deep voice. “Mind if I cut in, Noah?”
Cassidy turned, dumbfounded to see Tim looking mouthwateringly delicious in a dark suit and red tie.
“Certainly,” Noah said smoothly. He gave Cassidy a wink. “Just for fun you might want to let him lead.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Cassidy saw Daffodil say something to Jewel Lucas, then scurry off as Noah left the dance floor headed in their direction.
Tim’s arms closed around her and, following his lead, they were soon moving in perfect time to the lilt of a love song.
“What are you doing here?” She tipped her head back. “I didn’t realize you knew Julie and Dylan.”
“I don’t.” Tim flashed a smile. “I’m here as a personal friend of the hairstylist.”
Cassidy inhaled the intoxicating scent of his cologne and for a second lost her train of thought.
“So you’re saying you—” She struggled to get the words out.
“Yep. I crashed the party.”
The impish gleam in his eyes brought a smile to her lips. He looked inordinately proud of his transgression.
“Why’d you do it?”
“Why else?” After a graceful dip, he spun her around. “I wanted to dance with you.”
Pleasure rippled through her but she tamped it down.
“You promised to give me space.” She wondered why she sounded peevish when she was so glad to see him.
“It’s been four whole days since I last saw you...since I last touched you.” His fingers tightened around her hand. “It feels like a lifetime.”
The time apart had seemed like an eternity to her, too. But she wasn’t about to admit that to him. “Where are the girls?”
“They’re spending the weekend with my parents.” His expression turned serious. “My mother seems to have this need to prove she can be trusted.”
“What happened to Esther wasn’t her fault.”
“That’s exactly what I told her...numerous times. I did, however, have a long talk with both girls. I made it clear the next time they want to climb a tree, they take me with them.”
Despite her intention not to encourage him in any way, Cassidy laughed. Tim was a good dad. She had no doubt he’d be an equally excellent father to bun.
If only he loved me, everything would be perfect...
“You look tired, Cass.” He brushed back a strand of her hair from her cheek.
The gentle, caring gesture nearly undid her. It was definitely time to head home. Tired and hormonal were not a good combination.
She glanced in the direction of the exit. “I believe it’s time to call it a night.”
“I can give you a lift home,” Tim offered in an offhand tone. “If you need one.”
“Thanks, but I rode with Daffy.”
“Well, then, let’s find her.” His palm rested against the small of her back as they left the dance floor.
She supposed she could have told Tim to keep his hands to himself. But that seemed a bit overreactive so Cassidy relaxed and let herself enjoy the heat of his touch through her silk dress.
The search for Daffodil led them to every corner of the large barn where the reception was being held. After twenty minutes, Cassidy was considering calling out the dogs.
“Since she’s not much of a partier, I didn’t expect to find her on the dance floor.” She slanted another glance around the room. “But she’s also not at any of the tables or in line for a drink...”
“Jewel,” Cassidy called out when she saw her friend. “Have you seen Daffodil?”
Jewel had helped with the bridal-party makeup today, but because she lived on her grandparents’ ranch—rather than in Jackson—she’d driven separately.
The pretty, dark-haired woman strolled up. She gave Tim a quizzical look. “Tim, I didn’t realize you’d be here.”
“Last-minute decision,” he said easily.
Jewel shifted her attention back to Cassidy. “Daffy left about thirty minutes ago. She had a headache. I told her I’d take you home.”
“No way. You live in the opposite direction.” Cassidy waved a dismissive hand. “I’ll find someone else.”
“You already have someone.” Tim took her hand and brought it to his mouth, planting a warm, moist kiss in the palm. “Escorting you home will be my pleasure.”
Chapter Seventeen
Cassidy tried to tell herself she’d never have accepted a ride from Tim if she’d known she’d end up naked. Allowing him to drive her home seemed quite innocuous. And because his house was on the way, his request to stop at his place to pick up a picture Esther and Ellyn had drawn for her seemed to make perfect sense.
When he began to kiss her just inside the front door, she had to admit she’d kissed him back. And now, lying beside him feeling like a cat that had just lapped up a whole bowl of sweet, rich cream, she couldn’t even bring herself to regret her actions.
“You’re so beautiful.” His hand traced gentle circles on her abdomen as he nuzzled her neck.
Her lips curved up and she arched back, giving him full access to her throat. “Let’s see if you’re still saying that when my belly is indistinguishable from a beach ball.”
“You’ll be even more beautiful.”
Something in the way he said the words had her believing it was true.
“I love your hair.” He twined a strand around his fingers, the pale lavender shade soft in the golden glow of the lamplight. “I can’t believe you ever cut it off.”
They both knew he referred to that horrible time in fifth grade. She snuggled against him, the memory somehow not so disturbing when she was in his arms. Cassidy buried her face against his shoulder, inhaling the familiar scent of him, drawing strength from the closeness.
“I didn’t have a choice.” She spoke so softly, her words muffled against his bare flesh, that she wondered if he’d heard. Wondered if she wanted him to hear.
But his fingers stilled and he brushed his lips against her temple. When he spoke, his voice was soft and low, inviting confidences. “Will you tell me about it?”
She’d never told anyone. Not her fifth-grade teacher, the school guidance counselor or any of her friends. Her mother believed Cassidy had brought the trouble on herself.
That, Cassidy knew, was the reason she’d held the truth close all these years. Deep down she worried her mother had been right and she had been at fault.
“You don’t have to tell me.” Tim wrapped his arms even more securely around her.
Her legs remained tangled with his and her head now rested on his shoulder.
“My mother had this boyfriend.” Cassidy forced the words past lips that seemed determined to hold them in. “His name was Jace.”
She could see Mr. Biker-man now with his too-long blond hair pulled back in a leather tie and those pale blue eyes. Though she knew it made no sense, ever since Jace, men with blond hair had been a turn-off. “He would watch me with his creepy blue eyes, tell me I was pretty. At first I liked the attention. The
n it got weird.”
Tim’s breath hitched but he said nothing, only stroked her back when she burrowed closer.
“Crystal giggled when she told me Jace loved my hair and thought I was sexy. Sexy? I was eleven.” She swallowed hard against the sudden dryness in her throat. “When I told her he looked at me funny, she laughed and called me a tease, said if I didn’t want him to notice me, I shouldn’t have flirted with him.”
Just remembering tied her stomach in knots. To calm herself Cassidy drew in a breath, let it out slowly. “Before Jace came over that night, I took the scissors to my hair.”
His arms tightened around her. “Did it work? Did he leave you alone?”
Cassidy nodded. “Cutting it all off was worth it. By the time it grew out, Crystal was with another guy and Jace was history.”
“Your mother—” Tim nearly spat the words “—should never have had a child.”
“She’d agree with you on that point.” Cassidy gave a humorless laugh. “Crystal told me every day that I’d ruined her life and she wished I’d never been born.”
Tim tipped her face up with his fingers and gazed into her eyes. “Well, I’m glad you were born. And I feel honored you shared with me what happened.”
Cassidy glanced down at the muscular arm wrapped around her, ran her fingers across the soft hair dusting his forearm. “I think the reason I kept it to myself all these years was because I was afraid whoever I told would blame me.”
“For what?” he asked, sounding genuinely perplexed.
She lifted her gaze, met those warm hazel eyes. “I liked it—at first—when he told me I was pretty.”
“Oh, honey, most girls like to be told they’re pretty. But you were a child. He was a man.” His jaw set in a tight line and she could see him fight for composure. “None of it was your fault.”
Cassidy exhaled a ragged breath and a couple of tears slipped down her cheeks.
“Tonight doesn’t change anything,” she muttered, swiping the tears away. The closeness, the trust, meant nothing. Not without love.
