by Lisa Ladew
That’s how it appeared to her this time, not images of something someone else had done, planted in her brain like a movie, but more like a memory of something she might have done in a different lifetime. When she had woken up two days ago, she hadn’t felt like herself at all. She had a sense of who she was supposed to be, but her own memories had been supplanted. The first day had been especially horrible. She’d had a sense of being two people at once, and one of those people was a monster. She had done her best to not examine any memory that swam through her brain very closely. To do so felt like inviting madness.
But this morning, she almost felt like her old self, like she had been before any of this had happened. For the hundredth time, she wondered if, when the last memory faded, would this all be over? Had she lost the hated ability to see into other people’s consciousnesses? She prayed that she had.
She knew Frank Phillips was in a room on the thirteenth floor - the post-surgical ward. Her bullet had clipped a vein close to his heart and lodged in his lung. They’d removed the bullet, but he still wasn’t awake. He had lost a ton of blood, and they weren’t sure how badly his brain was damaged from it. The doctors gave him a 50/50 chance of waking up. Blaise came and gave them updates every day. The police department was building a case against him right now, for the murders of the three women, just in case he did awaken, but they still hadn’t found the missing body. Katerina knew what she hoped for. She hoped he died soon and saved the state a lot of trouble.
The door opened and Blaise walked in, his face grave. Katerina’s greeting died on her lips. Blaise waited until the nurse left, and then he got right down to business.
“Phillips woke up last night. The first thing he asked for was a lawyer. His lawyer is raising holy hell already, demanding that he be released from custody for lack of evidence.”
“Released? From the hospital?” West said.
“No, he won’t be able to leave the hospital for a while. But he’s handcuffed to his bed and he has a prison guard watching him 24 hours a day. He wants to be released from police custody.”
“Lack of evidence? But he tried to kill us!” Katerina said, obvious disbelief in her voice.
“Yeah, but that’s the only evidence we do have. Searches of his house and car haven’t turned up anything connected with the three women. If all we can charge him with is aggravated assault, he will get bail. That’s what his lawyer is asking for. Phillips refuses to answer any questions and his lawyer has made sure we can’t keep asking.”
A black cloud settled over Katerina. The pestilence and pollution that had filled her being and clouded her soul swam back suddenly, obscuring her attempts at lucid thought. She leaned forward and gagged slightly, holding out a searching hand for West.
The man was a killing machine who had no regard for the value of life. He was a monster disguised in human flesh. And the monster was awake and scheming.
Chapter 26
West lay in Katerina’s bed, in absolute misery. Katerina was pretending to sleep next to him, but he knew she wasn’t sleeping. She’d barely said three words since they left the hospital that afternoon, and every time he looked at her he could see the anguish in her very being.
He replayed the scene as they were leaving the hospital together over in his mind. Katerina’s car was in the hospital parking lot. Jordan had gotten it there somehow. Katerina walked to it, slowly, her head hanging, her body drooping, her spirit broken. When she reached it, she looked at him and said, “You don’t have to come with me.”
Fear had rippled through West with those words. “Katerina, I want to come with you,” he had said.
Katerina had just stared at him, her deep, green eyes swimming in torment. Then she had gotten in and driven to her apartment. She’d walked in the door, dragged her body into the bedroom, and lay down on the bed, fully clothed.
West had tried to get her to eat but she wouldn’t. West had tried to get her to drink, but she wouldn’t do that either. West had taken off her shoes and rubbed her feet and tried to touch her, as he had done in the hospital. He knew he had some sort of an effect on her that seemed to stop the negative effects that she’d been dealing with, but it was no good. She had blocked him out. She’d put up some sort of a mental wall between them, unwilling to let him help her, for some reason.
West lay in the dark, drowning in his helplessness. He drifted in and out of sleep and every time he woke up, he squeezed Katerina’s hand, but she never squeezed back.
Finally, he opened his eyes to morning light streaming in the window. He propped himself up on his elbow and looked at Katerina, who was already awake and staring at the ceiling.
“Did you sleep at all?” he asked.
Katerina ignored the question, and instead asked her own. “Will you call Blaise for me? I need to talk to him.”
West sat up, confused. “Of course. When?”
“Now.”
West jumped off the bed and got his phone. At least she was talking.
He dialed Blaise’s cell phone number and when Blaise answered he said, “Blaise, Katerina wants to talk to you,” then held out the phone to Katerina.
Katerina sat up in the bed and took the phone. “Blaise, is there any news on Phillips?”
Katerina listened, and West could tell by the tightening in her face that the news was not good.
“When is the judge going to sign the order?”
She nodded and bit her lip and West felt fury flood through him. That man was going to get bail? After what he had done?
Katerina kept talking. “Could you get me into his house?”
West held his breath, trying to calm down and hear what Katerina was saying.
“Yes, if you can get me into his house, I can find you the evidence that you need.”
She listened for a moment and then spoke again. “I don’t think I can just tell you where it is. I’m not totally sure what it is actually. I’ve been trying to access his memories that are stuck inside me but they are fuzzy and out of context. I got rid of them as best as I could over the last few days and now all I have is mostly emotions and feelings. But if you can get me into his house, I know I can make sense of it all.” Katerina listened closely and then said, “Okay, bye.”
She handed the phone back to West and looked at him for the first time in a day. “He’s going to talk to his Captain and call you back.”
West dropped to his knees in front of Katerina and wrapped his arms around her legs. “Katerina, are you sure you want to do this? Won’t it be hard on you?”
Katerina set her mouth in a determined line. “It will be a lot harder on me if Phillips gets bail.”
West nodded and dropped his head to her lap. He knew she was right, but could she survive this time? He hugged her tight and celebrated when her fingers twined in his hair. She wasn’t blocking him out anymore.
***
West pulled up behind Blaise’s car at the address they had been given, then ran around the side of the car to help Katerina out. She looked so pale and drawn. He thought she had probably lost 15 pounds since he had met her. She could not afford to lose any more, but he still hadn’t been able to get her to eat anything. She’d drank a bit of coffee and that was it.
West saw a group of police officers waiting outside the house already and he winced. He didn’t think Katerina would want to do this with an audience. But she never wavered. When her eyes found Blaise, she marched up to him and told him she was ready.
West tried to take her hand, but she pulled away from him, and instead turned to face him, her eyes wide and haunted. “You have to stay outside.”
“But Katerina, no, I want-”
“I know you do, and I appreciate it, but something about you interferes with what I got from Phillips. You can’t be near me or I won’t be able to get everything.”
She turned to Blaise. “In fact, I need to be alone. Or as close to alone as I can get. I need only one person to be with me, and they need to not say a word.”
<
br /> Blaise nodded. “Let me talk to my Captain.”
West watched him go, that helpless feeling taking over again.
When Blaise returned he said, “The Captain says one person is fine, and you can take in anybody you want.”
Katerina’s eyes crawled over the group of police officers on the front lawn of the killer’s house. She walked close to them and West watched them appraise her. Some looked scared of her, but some were obviously skeptical. Katerina walked around the group and returned to Blaise. “Him.” She pointed to an officer who looked just like any of the rest to West, but obviously not to Katerina.
“I’m ready to go in, but please make sure he knows he’s not to talk to me. And if I get upset, he’s not to try to touch me or help me in any way. In fact, he should stay three or four feet away from me at all times. Even if I cry or - ” she looked at West pointedly, then went on. “Even if I make noise or scream.”
Blaise nodded and left them again for a moment.
Katerina took a hesitant step towards the front door, then waited.
West watched her back and tried to send her strength. He knew she was strong. But could anybody be strong enough to do this on their own? To rifle through the memories of the killer with the intent of finding evidence of his murders? Anybody normal, with hopes and dreams and vulnerabilities? West didn’t know if he would have been able to do it.
The officer Katerina had picked finished talking to Blaise and walked toward her. When Katerina noticed him, she headed to the door without a backwards glance and opened it, walking inside.
West bolted to the big picture window in front and pressed his face against it. Katerina was inside, appearing to aimlessly drift through the house, which looked completely normal. Couch, love seat, fireplace, large TV, dining room table, pictures on the wall, and a shelf with books and collectibles on it.
After turning a few times, Katerina walked to the shelf. She pointed out a small, porcelain figure of an angel with a large gold band around its neck, and turned slightly, to talk to the officer behind her. West heard her voice drift out of the open door.
“The Angel’s necklace, he soldered it on to that figure. It’s really the wedding ring of the woman he thinks of as Pink Angel.”
West heard the hitch in her voice and thought she looked even paler. Come on Katerina hang in there, once you do this it will be over, he sent to her.
Katerina crossed the living room and stopped in front of the fireplace. On the mantle were large candles and what looked like a Victorian era doll.
“Lift up the doll’s hair, on the underside is a braid clipped in, that came from the woman he thinks of as his china doll.”
After this grisly announcement Katerina turned quickly and headed down a hallway to her left. West couldn’t stand that he couldn’t see her and started towards the door, but Blaise held him back.
“You heard her, she said you need to stay outside.”
West gritted his teeth and looked down the outside of the house. Maybe he should look in one of the other windows. But in only a moment, Katerina was coming back out of the hallway. The officer behind her was the one that looked white and drawn this time. Katerina only looked determined. She walked to the very center of the living room and closed her eyes. She turned in a circle and slightly lifted her hands and her face to the ceiling. To West, she almost looked like she was praying. She stood that way for a long moment. West’s muscles tensed and his jaw clenched. He imagined he could see a power, like electricity, gathering around her.
Her hands crept to her head and tugged on her hair. The determined look on her face melted into one of torment. Her entire body went rigid and now her hands beat at her own temples. West thought he saw tears running down her cheeks.
He grabbed Blaise’s shoulder. “I can’t just watch her suffer, Blaise. I’ve got to go in there. I’ve got to be there for her. You don’t understand.”
Blaise blocked his way. “I understand that she said she just wants to do this only once. Don’t take that choice away from her.”
A tormented wail erupted from Katerina. Several of the officers next to West jumped. West clenched his jaws together and prepared to push past Blaise. He couldn’t let her do this. It had to be enough, what she had found already. This was going to destroy her, and he couldn’t let that happen, because he… because he loved her. He loved her and she was his life now. He would always be there for her. The realization dropped on West like a lead weight. It was time for him to act.
Blaise’s hand on his shoulder faltered as Katerina’s cries increased. West pushed past him easily, and ran in the house, but before he could reach Katerina, she dropped eerily silent and moved quickly across the room to a flight of steps. She started down, leaving the officer staring at her, mouth agape.
West ran to the steps and started down them after her. He could hear several footsteps behind him.
When he reached the bottom, he found himself standing in utter darkness. He felt along the wall until he found a light switch. Switching it on, he blinked and tried to make out what he was looking at. It was an unfinished basement with a cement floor. A few boxes lined one wall, but other than that it was empty. It smelled damp and musty, but did not look forbidding.
Katerina stood almost in the middle, staring at the ground. Her hair covered her face and West couldn’t read the emotional weather there. She lifted her hand slightly and pointed at her feet.
“Right here. Dig right here,” she said, and then seemed to lose all of her strength. West rushed forward and caught her before she fell. He gathered her into his arms and pulled her close, crooning into her ear. In his mind, this was over, and now he would do whatever it took to get her past it.
The police Captain stepped forward, doubt on his face. “It’s concrete.”
From West’s arms, Katerina spoke up, her voice soft and weak. “Break through the concrete. There are bodies under there.”
Chapter 27
West drove Katerina home as quickly as he could, throwing short, nervous glances her way. She slumped against the window as if she were sleeping, but every look told him she was agitated and in emotional pain. Her hands were drawn into her chest, her muscles tight, and her face pinched and pale. He ached for her. To him, she looked trapped in a waking nightmare. He wished he could take away the pain. Take away every picture she’d had to see, every sound she’d had to hear, every memory she’d had to endure.
When they arrived at her apartment building he stopped the car and hurried around to her side, intent on carrying her up the stairs. He opened her door gently and bent over to pick her up.
“I can walk,” she said quietly.
He stepped back and held out a hand to her. She pushed to her feet with a grunt like an old lady, and West felt his heart continue to break for her. She squeezed his hand tightly and he felt a tingle of sensation run down his arm to his fingertips. She made a soft noise in the back of her throat, her face hidden by her hair. West stood completely still, his nerves on high alert, a question in his mind. He didn’t feel tired though, so she couldn’t be … pulling from him, could she? If anything, he felt energized, excited. With her free hand, she pushed her hair back from her face, then tilted her head up to look at him. Beautiful, crossed his mind. Her brilliant green eyes were the only part of her that didn’t look tired and drawn, but even in her fatigue she was beautiful. Her pale skin contrasted deliciously with her auburn hair and haunted eyes. Even the white in her hair framed her face in a way that made it look deliberate, almost trendy.
“You’re beautiful,” he told her, trying to keep the sudden emotion that was surging through him out of his voice.
“Am I?” she said, an enigmatic smile playing on her lips. Even as he watched, a bit of resilience seemed to come back into her body. “West, I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. If ever there was a time when I needed … a friend, it’s been this last week. But it’s over now. And if you want to go, to get back to your life, I�
�ll understand. I can take it from here. I’ll be OK.”
West heard the words wash over him, and they felt like a boot to the gut. She was dismissing him? She thought of him as a friend still? A sliver of hurt ambushed him but he squashed it. This wasn’t about him. She was probably feeling things he could have no idea about. Plus she didn’t have a clue how he felt.
“Katerina,” he said, the bright afternoon sun clashing with the mood between them. “I want to be more than just friends.” He gathered his thoughts and chose his words carefully. Energy seemed to be coursing through him and it distracted him slightly. “I know we haven’t known each other for long, but I…” A look in Katerina’s eyes bewildered him, and his thoughts seemed to fly apart. How could he make her understand that he loved her without scaring her? But the look, the look she was giving him seemed to say she understood perfectly, and she was only making sure that he knew. He felt a tightening in his groin at the intimacy in her gaze. She nodded slightly and smiled as if he had completed his thought.
“OK,” was all she said, and then she glanced up the stairs at her apartment door.
He helped her up the stairs and into her apartment, locking the door behind them, his mind buzzing. “Let me make you something to eat,” he said.
She pushed her hair out of her face again and looked at him levelly. “I don’t need food.”
“What do you need? Anything. I’ll get it for you.”
Katerina took his hand and pulled him down the hallway to her bedroom. She stopped next to her bed and turned to face him. “I need you to make me forget,” she said fiercely, her green eyes blazing suddenly.
West blinked at her, not sure exactly what she meant.
“Touch me, West. Love me. Make me yours.”
West felt a thrill of excitement swirl through him at the words, all of it culminating at his core. His cock jumped and hardened instantly.
She picked up his hands and touched them gently to her cheeks and then her hair. West curled his fingers, pulling her locks through his hands. He noticed the patches of white were softer than the rest of her hair. She closed her eyes and stretched her neck like a cat, inviting his hands lower. West ran his fingers down her neck lightly, then caressed her shoulders and upper back, and into her hair again. Color came slowly into Katerina’s cheeks and West bent forward, kissing first one cheek and then the other.
