The Handler (Noir et Bleu Motorcycle Club #2)

by D. R. Graham

  “I don’t want to go to the cemetery anyway.” She wrapped her arms around her body and walked along the sidewalk.

  “Are you sure?” I took a couple long strides to catch up to her.

  “Yeah. I don’t want to see them lower his body into the ground. It’s cruel to make someone spend the rest of eternity by themselves in the cold darkness.”

  I had never thought of death like that, because when I saw my dad lying on the charred bed, I could tell he wasn’t there. He was gone. “Hal’s not in his body anymore. He’s in a better place.”

  “Do you really believe all that crap about spirits and Heaven?”

  “I have to believe all that crap. My dad has to be in a better place than where I last saw him. If I don’t believe it, I won’t be able to get out of bed every morning.”

  Her expression contorted as if she visualized how horrific it would be to see someone burned to a crisp. “What do you think Heaven is like?”

  I smiled as I imagined it. “For my dad, it’s probably filled with motorcycles and long, wide open roads.”

  She tilted her face to the sky. “I wonder what it’s like for Hal.”

  “What were his favorite things? You knew him best.”

  She shrugged and continued walking as she thought about it. “He liked to sit on the beach and watch the waves. And he loved it when I sang Whitney Houston songs.”

  “That sounds nice.” I saw a sign for the beach and pulled her hand to make her walk with me down a side street. She had high heels on, and after a couple blocks her feet started to hurt, so I carried her piggy back the rest of the way. When we finally stepped onto the sand, I asked, “Is Hal’s Heaven like this?”

  She leaned over my shoulder and kissed my cheek. “Yes. Just like this.” She slid to the sand and removed her shoes. After spinning around with her arms out, she gazed up at the cloudless sky. A few minutes later, she wandered slowly along the shore where the waves lapped and created foamy bubbles. The beach wasn’t that busy. The people closest to us were families with young kids and a few couples. After checking to see if anyone was taking pictures, I sat on the white sand and watched her as she let the sparkly water touch her toes. At first, she sang very quietly and it wasn’t until she turned to smile at me that I could hear that it was a Whitney Houston song.

  She sang four songs and got progressively louder with each one. By the end, she was belting it out the way Whitney used to. She spun around a few more times before she wandered over and flopped down beside me.

  I tucked her hair behind her ear so I could see her face better. “Do you believe all that crap now?”

  She smiled peacefully. “Yes. I can handle the thought of Hal being in a place like this for eternity.”

  I inhaled the salt air and stared out over the bright blue water. “You’re extremely talented. You know that, right?”

  Her face transformed into an expression that I couldn’t quite read before she slid down to rest her head on my leg. “Thank you, Cain.” Her hand fisted around the plastic unicorn on her necklace.

  “Why is that so special to you?” I asked and touched her hand so she would know I meant the charm.

  She held the unicorn between her thumb and index finger to examine it. “When I was little, we were really poor, and I never got birthday or Christmas gifts like other kids. My mom saved up money to buy me things, but my dad always found her stash and spent it on booze.” Her hand tightened around it again. “My dad and I were in the mall one day, and there was one of those machines that drops an egg out. For some reason, he was in a really good mood. It wasn’t even a special occasion. He inserted the money in the machine and let me press the button. A yellow egg fell out, and this was inside. He told me that it was a magic unicorn, and that if I asked it to make me rich and famous my wish would come true.” She chuckled. “It worked.”

  “You’re rich and famous because you’re talented and you work really hard, not because of a plastic unicorn charm.”

  “I know. It’s special because it’s the only thing my dad ever gave me.”

  Knowing that made me hate the guy. How selfish must a man be if his kid remembers the one and only time he was ever thoughtful? “It takes more than giving you a unicorn to be a dad. Hal was more of a dad to you.”

  “Hal was like a father to Lincoln, not Tessa. Lincoln is who he loved. Lincoln is who my dad loves, too.” She dug her fingers into the sand and drew a spiral design. “All I’ve ever wanted is for my dad to love me for being Tessa.”

  I thought she meant that the confident and talented person she was when she was working was fake, so I said, “Tessa and Lincoln are the same person.”

  “I know they are the same person, but if I had no money and no fame, my dad would have taken off a long time ago. Even Hal wouldn’t have been there for me if I wasn’t earning him a living as Lincoln.” She sighed and sat up. “Nobody would love Tessa without Lincoln.”

  I glanced at her face, then stared out at the water. There was no doubt in my mind she would still be lovable if she weren’t Lincoln, but I didn’t know what to say to convince her of that.

  When I took too long to respond, she stood and bent over to tug at the lapel of my suit. “Let’s go for a swim.”

  “Right now?” I scanned the beach again. Nobody seemed to be paying attention to us, but it was more crowded farther down by the lifeguard station. If anyone had a telephoto lens, they’d be able to get good shots.

  “Sure. Why not?” She turned her back toward me. “Unzip me, please.”

  I didn’t think it was a good idea, so when I didn’t make a move to help her, she reached around and unzipped it herself. She shimmied out of the dress, then ran to the water in her underwear. “Do you think someone is taking super telephoto shots?” I shouted.

  “Probably.” She ran a few steps into the water and dove in.

  Stopping her wasn’t an option. I convinced myself it would probably be better if I was standing next to her to block the angle of the shot. The truth was, I wanted to go for a swim with her. I unbuttoned my shirt and unbuckled my belt. Then removed my suit jacket and loosened my tie. I kicked the dress shoes off and pulled my socks off one at a time. Then I dropped the trousers. I placed my phone on top of the pile of clothes. A text from Mug flashed on the screen:

  You can’t get out of the fucking car halfway to the destination and expect us to know where you are. Update me!

  “What’s taking you so long, slow poke?” Lincoln yelled from the water.

  “Dress clothes suck,” I said as I quickly typed a message to Mug to tell him we were fine and that I’d call him later. I texted Tim, too, and told him we’d meet back at Hal’s place.

  “Dress clothes might take longer to get out of, but you look very handsome wearing them,” she said as I crossed the sand.

  I waded into the water only wearing boxer briefs. “You think I’m handsome?”

  “I didn’t say that. I said you look handsome in a suit,” she teased and slapped her hands on the surface of the water to splash me.

  I jumped and tackled her. Then wrapped my arms around her to trap her underwater. She squirmed and tickled my ribs to make me let her go. When I popped my head up, she splashed me again and leaned back to float face up.

  “Are you trying to tempt me to dunk you again?”

  “I wouldn’t mind.” She smiled and did a backstroke.

  I dove at her and sunk her again. She grabbed my wrists and pulled me on top of her, which I didn’t resist until I couldn’t breathe anymore. I resurfaced first, and when she popped her head out of the water, she pushed her hair back from her face. The droplets of water sparkled as they rolled over her skin. My throat closed in, and I choked on my own spit when I noticed the white satin of her bra had become see through. When she noticed, she smiled, crossed her arms over her chest, and turned so her back was to the shore. Resisting her literally made my body shake.

  She stepped closer, so my body was shielding her from the people on
the shore. “Did your dad’s friends take care of that Fireball guy?”

  “They haven’t done anything yet. They’re still tailing him.”

  “Is it against the law to tell them to kill someone for you?”

  The image of Huck being kidnapped from school and taken on a high speed chase ran through my mind again. It had been on repeat ever since it happened, and knowing how traumatized she must have been, I honestly didn’t care if the Noir et Bleu killed Frenchie Dewalt. I wanted them to. “I haven’t told them to kill anybody. I only told them where he was. What they do with that information is not my problem.”

  Lincoln reached her arms up to tie her hair in a knot. “What if they don’t do anything? If they don’t kill him you will always be wondering where he is and whether he’s going to come after you.”

  “He did a hit in front of a kid. They don’t let shit like that slide.” I turned my body so I couldn’t see her. “It will only be a matter of time before he goes down.”

  “Are you okay with that?” Her arms encircled my waist from behind and she turned me around.

  I wasn’t okay with it, but it was the best option, so I said, “It is what it is.”

  “You say that a lot.” She stepped closer and her hands rested on my waist. “You know what else you say a lot?”

  I shook my head, although I hadn’t really processed the question. I was distracted by the thought of kissing her again.

  “When you’re drunk, you tell me I’m beautiful.”

  She had my full attention again.

  “Would you ever say that if you weren’t drunk?”

  I glanced at the soaked lingerie, then shook my head, both to regain focus and answer her question.

  She didn’t seem offended, so she obviously knew my reluctance to say it wasn’t because I didn’t want to say it. Her smile was both curious and determined as she asked, “Why not?”

  “Because I work for you.”

  Her feet stepped closer, and her body pressed against mine. “What other thoughts about me do you keep locked up?” Her palm caressed my chest and paused over my heart, which she would have definitely felt racing.

  I ran my thumb down the contour of her neck and along her collarbone. “You know how I feel about you.”

  She watched my hand as it moved over her shoulder and down her arm. Her eyelids closed for a long blink as my hands followed the curve of her waist up her ribcage. I paused when my fingers made contact with the fabric of her bra.

  “Say it.”

  Eventually, I inhaled and found the words for what I had wanted to say earlier. “Even if you weren’t Lincoln, you would still be extraordinary. There is something incredibly special about you that I can’t explain. It shines from inside you. If you were a teacher, every single student in your class would adore you. If you were a bus driver, getting on the bus and seeing you would be the best part of each passenger’s day. If you were Tessa with no makeup, in jeans and a T-shirt, sitting at the food court in a mall, you would have taken my breath away. The determination and charisma that makes you Lincoln would still be inside you, no matter what you did. That’s what people love about you.”

  Based on how her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open, my speech had a positive impact, but the reaction that followed was not at all what I expected. “When are you going home?” she asked.

  “Uh.” The question was a harsh reminder that whatever was going on between us would end soon. The reality hit me in the gut. It didn’t matter how much we cared about each other. It didn’t matter how close we got. Once I went back home and she went back to touring, a relationship couldn’t last. She obviously felt there was no point starting, and she was right. “I haven’t decided yet.” I stepped back so we were arm’s length apart. “What are you going to do with the tour?”

  She shivered and hugged her arms around her body. “I don’t know. My dad was right. I can’t manage myself. I’ll probably cancel everything and take some time off to think about what I want to do.” Her gaze scanned across my body and stopped when her eyes met mine. She closed the gap between us again, reached up, and cupped my jaw. “Can we pretend you’re drunk right now?” Her lips parted and her fingertips dug in to pull my face closer.

  The proximity of her body, the rhythm of her breathing, and the roundness of her bottom lip were all insanely vivid. It took all of my willpower, but I choked out, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  Her hands dropped away from my face.

  I sloshed through the surf back to where my clothes were piled on the sand.

  Lincoln walked slowly toward me and bent over to pick up her dress. A text lit up my phone. It was from Cisco.

  Your pal just landed in Miami. You better put some distance between you and that chick if you want to keep her alive.

  I got dressed. Lincoln turned so I would zip her dress back up. “Fireball knows where we are. He just got off a plane in Miami.” I turned away so she wouldn’t see my expression when I said, “We have to go our separate ways.”

  “What?” She clasped my wrist to make me face her. “No.”

  “Yeah.” My tone was cold, and I felt like a complete asshole for using it on her, but I didn’t know how else to make the break clean. I pulled my arm free and walked toward the road.

  “Why now?” She ran to catch up to me.

  “Noir et Bleu orders. It’s the only way to protect you.”

  “Since when do you follow their orders? This isn’t about protecting me. It’s about what just happened in the water.” She rammed the heel of her hand against my chest to stop me. “It’s about your feelings for me.”

  “No, it’s about your safety.” I looked at the ground so she wouldn’t see the pain in my eyes.

  “You’re lying.”

  “We can’t be together. End of story.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The cab picked us up at the beach. My plan was to take Lincoln back to Hal’s place where Tim, Stan, and Aaron were and carry on to the airport by myself. As we drove, she tried every argument possible to convince me not to leave without her. It was safer for her if I wasn’t anywhere near her, so I shook my head in response to all her attempts to change my mind—until she found the one thing that could make me reconsider. “What about Huck? You promised her that you would take me to meet her.”

  “She’ll get over it,” I forced myself to mumble as we pulled up in front of the gate to Hal’s mansion.

  “Will she?”

  I lowered my voice in case the cab driver was listening, “It’s not safe for you and me to be together. That’s all that matters.”

  Her eyes filled up with tears, and her lip quivered.

  I couldn’t handle the sight of it, and if I delayed it any longer, I wouldn’t have the strength to leave so I snapped, “Get out of the car, Jailbait. There’s nothing you can say that will make me stay.”

  “What if I said I love you?”

  It felt as if she had thrust her hand right through my chest and clenched my heart in her fist. I couldn’t breathe, and I had to choke back the emotion that crept into my throat. I couldn’t respond because I knew I would, without a doubt, stay if I acknowledged what she said.

  Her voice rose. “You’re not doing this to protect me. You’re doing it to protect yourself because you don’t like not knowing what the future looks like. Well, guess what? Nobody knows what the future looks like. I don’t know where this is going any more than you do, but at least I’m brave enough to take a risk. All you do is make excuses: I have a girlfriend, we have to keep it professional because I work for you, and now, you’re not safe. Cut the bullshit you’ve been feeding yourself. Leaving me here alone doesn’t make me any safer, and you know it. It just makes it less complicated for you.” She choked back a whimper.

  I closed my eyes and dug my fists into my thighs. Everything she said was true, except I did know what the future looked like. It looked like me falling hard for her and then being destroyed when it was eventually
time for us to go our separate ways. It took all my energy to force the words out, but I said, “I have to go. I’ll text Tim to come out and get you.”

  “You’re an asshole.” She pushed the door open, stumbled out onto the sidewalk, and kicked the taxi door closed.

  “Hey!” the driver shouted. “Easy on the car.”

  “I’ll pay for the damage. Don’t worry about it,” I mumbled.

  She stomped toward the keypad for the security gate.

  “Are you sure you want to let a girl like that get away?” he asked as he watched her wipe away her tears and pound the buttons to get the gate to open.

  “I have no choice.” It felt like the guilt was creating a giant gaping wound in my gut.

  “So, next stop is the airport?”

  “Yeah,” I sat up and looked out the window at her. “But wait until the gate closes behind her.”

  The words had barely left my mouth when two guys dressed in jeans and black hoodies jumped out of the bushes and grabbed her. I leapt out of the cab and sprinted toward them.

  The one guy had her by the waist, and his hand was clamped over her mouth. She flailed her arms and legs as they shoved her into the back seat of a waiting black SUV that was parked two cars down on the side of the road. I caught up and rammed my shoulder into the shorter guy, which stunned him, but the second guy punched me in the face. The force knocked me to the ground. He bent over to punch me again. I got a couple swings in, but then they both kicked my ribs repeatedly.

  A third pair of motorcycle boots appeared near the front of the SUV. I hoped it was Mug or Kaz, but it wasn’t. I could only see the back of his head. He had dark hair. He shoved the taller guy and slammed him up against the truck. Then he pulled a gun out of the waistband of his jeans, calmly pressed it to the guy’s temple, and pulled the trigger. A deafening crack echoed through the neighborhood as the guy slumped down in a heap beside me. After the reverberation of the gunshot faded, the air became eerily quiet. The short guy put his hands up in surrender. Without the slightest hesitation, the shooter jammed the gun to the base of the guy’s skull and squeezed the trigger. Blood splattered on Lincoln’s face. The body landed heavily on top of her and trapped her in the back seat. She screamed hysterically. The shooter turned his head and looked me right in the eye. The streetlight reflected off the scar on his cheek. I couldn’t breathe. My body flinched, but I couldn’t organize enough motor control to get up from the sidewalk. It was Dewalt. He stared at me for a few seconds, dropped the gun on the ground, and disappeared between the cars.